Chapter Twenty-two
When Mia woke the next morning, she felt a surge of hope. Dealing with yesterday’s scam orders had been an absolute pain in the ass, but surely today would be better. She’d been so tired the previous night, she’d briefly stopped to talk to Roman in his office then fallen asleep before he’d come to bed. Now she was desperate to hear what progress he’d made.
She turned over and found his side of the bed empty. And now that she thought about it, the dogs were unnaturally quiet. Sitting up, she surveyed the room. Not even Mac remained. Her eyes flicked over to the clock on the bedside table and she saw with a jolt it was almost eight o’clock.
Wow. Somehow she’d slept thought the mass exodus of the canines who would’ve been insanely happy that breakfast was in their sights and no doubt jostling and bumping one another in their excitement. They often sounded like a heard of baby elephants.
Yesterday must have taken more out of her than she’d realized.
After a lightning-fast shower, during which time Mac returned and lay across the doorway to the bathroom, she threw on some clothes and trotted down the stairs. Roman was hunched over the table nursing a cup of coffee.
“Well, if it isn’t sleeping beauty,” he said. “Feel better?”
“Much. I’m so ready to take on this day. Sorry I conked on you last night. How’d you sleep?”
He lifted a hand and tipped it side to side. “Not great. Couldn’t shut down my brain.”
“Aw. That sucks.” She walked over to him and leaning down, planted a deliberately chaste kiss on his cheek. “There. All better now.”
Quick as a flash, he pushed back from the table, his arms came around her and drew her down onto his lap. He stared into her eyes for a beat before cupping her chin and bringing his lips to hers. The kiss started out soft and slow, but then he tipped his head and his tongue plundered, stealing her breath and making her heart jump in her chest and her skin come alive with goosebumps.
Time spun out.
The world and all its problems disappeared.
When she’d all but melted into a gooey puddle of wax on his lap, he pulled back and sighed.
“Now that’s the kind of kiss that makes things better,” he said, resting his forehead against hers.
“I’ll say.” Her fingers stroked across his stubbled cheeks. “How’d the investigating go yesterday?”
“Not great.” He straightened back against the chair. “Why don’t you make yourself a cup of that mint tea you love so much, and I’ll fill you in.”
When she sat across from him and cupped her hands around the warm mug, he reached to the bench seat by the window and picked up several sheets of paper.
“Before we talk about my progress in Eliza’s case, or lack thereof, I wanted to bring up something else. Or rather, revisit something we already discussed.”
She plucked up the pages and scanned the title, reading aloud. “Prenup agreement between Roman Alfonso Mancini and Mia Eleanor Reeves.” Her eyes shot out daggers and she thrust the paper toward him. “I told you. I don’t need a prenup.”
“Stop being a big baby and just read it already,” he said.
“Fine.” She growled low in her throat but did as he asked before glaring at him from across the desk. “Where’d you get this thing? I hope you didn’t spend a bunch of money on a lawyer.”
“A friend of a friend put me onto this guy, and it wasn’t much. I really want you to sign it.”
“This is beyond stupid. I already told you I’m not worried about my money. Even if we did ….” She paused and took in a big gulp of air. “You’re a good and honest person. You’d never go after me like that. This is unnecessary and completely bad luck.”
“Come on, Mia. We’ve both seen more than enough of the dark side of humanity. Anyone is capable of anything when emotions are involved. That’s why domestic calls are the most dangerous for police officers. It’s all that history and love and rage boiling over everywhere. And by having this prenup, the worry goes away for me. No matter what happens between us, I want to make sure I never hurt you.”
Mia slumped over and rubbed a hand back and forth across her forehead. “I don’t want to fight about this.” She sat up straight again and looked him in the eye. “But everything in me is screaming not to sign this stupid thing. It’s like tempting the devil or something. Like I don’t trust you or think you’re the kind of person I can believe in. It just feels wrong.”
“Babes, if our relationship is shaky enough that you’re afraid of superstition, maybe we need to talk about it. What exactly is worrying you?”
“I honestly wasn’t worried until you brought up this whole stupid topic.”
“And now you are?” he asked in a soft voice.
“No. Not really. But it has given me pause.” She looked away from his probing gaze and chuckled. “Don’t you think it’s funny that both Eliza and I are refusing to sign a prenup?”
“But for entirely different reasons.” He blew out a breath in frustration. “Look. You have insurance on the house and car. Think of it the same way. It’s just a guarantee you’ll be okay if the worst happens.”
“I don’t understand why you think our marriage won’t go okay. What are you worried about?”
“I don’t know.” His hand rubbed up and down along the outside of his thigh. “Nothing … everything. More than half of marriages end in divorce, so we only have a fifty-fifty shot here.”
“But we one hundred percent love each other and are going in with eyes wide open. Especially since we started the Pre-Cana classes at St. Peter’s. We’ve been discussing and deciding on things I’d never have thought about before. Like care of parents and savings strategies and … I mean, last time we talked about whether we would get our son circumcised, for heaven’s sake. We’re proofing our marriage better than ninety percent of the population ever does.”
He tipped his head slowly side to side. “True. But circumstances change. People change. Ten years ago, I was a typical closed-down male and raging at the world. Ten or fifteen years from now I have no idea who I’ll be or what we might face.”
“Hey.” She reached across the table and grasped his hand. “You’ve been through a lot. Losing your sister like that was traumatic. No wonder you were closed down and mad. And you’re right about the future, we don’t know what’ll happen. It could be great or it could be awful. Either way, you’ll take what you’ve learned from the earlier parts of your life, and you’ll stand strong because in your core, that’s who you are. And I’ll be standing right there next to you.”
She felt it then. The fear. The anticipatory dread. It was eating at him like a cancer.
“Yeah. I’m sure you’re right,” was all he said though.
“Wait. Do you think I’m gonna bail on us? Is that what’s at the bottom of this prenup idea?” She snatched her hand back and stared at him with wide eyes.
“I don’t think that … I mean … I hope you won’t.” He swallowed and looked away.
“I’m a bad bet, huh? Not to be trusted. Liable to flake out and walk away after stomping all over your heart. Why the hell do you want to marry me at all?”
He slumped back in his chair. “No. That’s not it. I can’t … it’s hard to explain.” He shook his head and his eyes fell away from hers. “Maybe it’s actually not that hard to explain, but it’s hard as hell to admit out loud. I guess if there was ever a time for honesty, this is it. Look. The thing is, I know I love you more than you love me.”
His hand shot out when she surged to her feet. “Wait. Just listen. It happens that way sometimes with couples. One person is more into it than the other. And I’m that person. You want to know why I’m marrying you? Because I love you so damn much I can’t not. My life would be empty and meaningless without you in it and that scares me to death. So, I’m doing everything I can think of to make sure we’ll both be okay no matter what happens.”
Mia slowly sank back onto the chair and clasped her hands together while she worked to calm her breathing.
“You think I don’t feel the same? You think this marriage is a lark for me? Just something to jot down on my calendar for November first? I’m scared too. Have I been honest enough about myself? Do you know me fully and if you saw all the deep-down crappy parts, would you still love me? And FYI, I’m doing my best to eject all that deep-down dumpster fire stuff, but you keep putting me situations that bring me face to face with it all over again.”
“The PI cases, you mean?”
Mia’s mind flashed to Brooke’s suggestion that Roman rejoin the police department, then decided it wasn’t exactly the right time to bring it up. After they settled the prenup and closed the Lambs’ case, she’d see how she felt and maybe broach the subject then. She couldn’t decide if she was being smart or simply a big fat coward.
“Yeah. The cases. I know you live and die for that stuff. It’s your passion and you’re so good at it. I’m not going to take it away from you. And I’ve realized recently, it’s better for me to be involved. Like you said, I give help that no one else can. And it makes you happy so it’s all worth it in the end.”
“You think it’s worth it even now? When you’ve been threatened and your business is under attack?”
Her eyes blazed. “Hell, yeah. Eliza needs to go down. And it will give me so much pleasure to help make sure that happens.”
His eyes dropped to the prenup lying between them on the table. “Please just sign that damn thing so I can stop thinking about it.”
She stared down at the agreement then her eyes flicked back to his face. It was easy to read the emotion in those gorgeous brown eyes. He was clearly suffering, and she had it within her power to take away the worry. Plus, it didn’t exactly cost her a thing beyond rubbing up against her line of superstitious thinking.
“I can’t stop you doubting me. I can’t prove that I won’t leave at some point other than showing up each and every day with an open heart and a commitment to our relationship. But I’ll sign the stupid prenup if it makes you feel better. I just wish there was something else I could do to ease your fears,” she said before initialing in the appropriate places and scrawling her signature at the bottom.”
He leaned forward and studied the document while a smile broke over his face. “Thank you. It means everything to me.”
She huffed out a breath. “You’re welcome, I guess. Now tell me if you found out anything new about Eliza yesterday.”