No Matter What You Do

1. Thanks, I’m Good

My brother, David, brings in my last box of college stuff and drops it by my feet with a thump. Good thing I don’t have a precious tea set in there or priceless fine china.

“It’s all here, Lainey,” he says.

“Okay, you can go now.” I shoo him off so I can start to organize my room.

“If you need me, I’m upstairs, unfortunately.”

“Unfortunately? What, you wanna be closer to me? How sweet,” I remark sarcastically.

David rolls his eyes, groans, and leaves. I take in the room. Two parallel sets of beds, desks, and dressers in front of me as well as a window. The entryway and bathroom behind me. In the entry and the main area there are ceiling lights. The walls, however, are made of white painted cinder block which doesn’t give the room a comfortable vibe.

I stash all my things in the bathroom and do my best to move my furniture. If this is going to be my home for the next nine months, I might as well make it a nice one.

It takes some strength, but I shift my bed to the wall perpendicular to the one it was against when I came in. At the head of the bed, I put my dresser and desk. I leave the wardrobes where they are across from the bathroom door. Once I have deemed my new side of the room acceptable, I pull my things from the bathroom and begin unpacking.

Ten minutes into my decorating, another girl walks into the room. A short-haired, petite blonde girl about my height. Brandy. She was the only person who responded to my I need a roommate message in the freshmen group chat. At that point we were strangers, but after keeping in contact over DM, I guess we are friends…kind of. It’s just she doesn’t even say hello to me on her way in. Can she see me? Am I invisible or something?

“Hi,” I say.

She drops her bags on the floor and turns to me quickly. “Oh my God! I’m so sorry!” she squeals. “I didn’t know you got here yet. You were so quiet.”

She rushes to me and traps me in a tight hug. The smell of Prada perfume radiates off her. When she releases me, she takes a moment to digest the setup of the room.

“I love it. Do you mind if I copy you and put my bed against the back wall?”

A smile creeps across my face. “Go for it,” I say.

I help her move her furniture. Then I put up some movie and TV posters.

“I didn’t know you were a nerd.”

I look at my posters and stack of books on my desk. “This doesn’t make me a nerd,” I say defensively.

Brandy shakes her head quickly and her shoulder-length hair whips around as she does so. “Of course not. Sorry.” Despite her words, a grin remains on her face. “Are you excited? We’re finally in college.”

I shrug. “Yeah. I’m glad to be out of the popularity contest that is high school. I can’t wait to be on my own, study, grow, and?—”

“Get drunk!” Brandy finishes.

Not what I was gonna say.

She continues, “Have you ever been to a college party?”

“We have been here for two seconds, so how could I?”

Brandy giggles. “In high school, girly.”

“Of course not. I haven’t been to any.”

Her jaw drops to the floor as if I just called her fat or something. “Oh my God, Lainey. What did you do on the weekends?”

“Uh…homework and sleep?”

“Well, that is going to change this year. With me by your side you’ll be partying every weekend.”

“Is this the only reason you came to college?”

“Aside from studying business, yes. I wanna succeed in life, but I wanna have fun in the process. You gotta live a little bit.” She digs into one of her bags and pulls out a large textbook. She approaches the door and jams the book under it like a stopper. “If we keep the door open, we’ll make more friends.”

“That’s a proven fact?”

“Yes, ma’am, it is.” She smiles widely.

Almost as if planned, as soon as Brandy gets back to her bed, there is a tap at the door, and I am very disappointed to see David again. Didn’t he just leave? Ugh.

“You forgot this in my car, dumbass,” he says, tossing me my purse. I don’t have time to grab it, so it hits me in the gut. “Nice catch.”

Brandy takes a few steps closer to the two of us, intrigue all over her face.

“Hello.” She glances at me. “Brother?”

I nod in response.

Brandy’s face contorts into one that reminds me of a show I saw once. It is a disgusting expression, one a female teacher would make when the hottest guy in school walks into class and she wants to give him some extra credit opportunities. Except Brandy isn’t a cougar, and David is not hot, at least not to me, ew.

David examines her body the exact same way. This is beginning to make me very uncomfortable.

As soon as he leaves, she raises her brow at me. She says nothing though, so I am unsure what she is trying to communicate. It is probably better off that way if it involves David.

There is another knock, and a girl steps in.

“Hey, girls.” Her tone is sweet, and her face is welcoming. She wears a gray polo shirt with the words “Resident Assistant” sewn into the fabric in red. “I am Kelly, your RA. Can you just check in with me here?” She raises a clipboard with a piece of lined paper on it where there are already many signatures signed. We both scribble our names on the page. “Thank you. I’m glad you are here, and I hope you have a great year.” She smiles and moves on to another room.

The next couple of hours pass surprisingly slowly. It turns out, time does not fly when you are doing tedious unpacking. Plus it is Saturday and classes don’t start until Monday, so after today there is gonna be nothing to do. Just how I like it.

Once she has organized and decorated her side, Brandy sits at her desk and types on her laptop. I glance at my phone. Quarter to six. I assumed she would have asked me if I was hungry or initiated some kind of talk about dinner, but I guess I have to do that. Not good for my social anxiety. When I finally do bring up dinner, Brandy bounces out of her seat.

“Yes, I am starving!” she says.

The dining hall is nothing like my old high school cafeteria. It’s huge. The room is filled with dark wood tables and chairs. Throughout there are columns of red booths with the same wooden tables. To the right are three different food areas. All around are blue colored walls with wide windows. There are a couple of different televisions hanging as well, though unnecessary due to the music playing. Just the right amount to make it a comfortable social setting where people can still hear themselves talk and think.

“Ya know,” Brandy says. “First day has been kinda blah, wouldn’t you say?”

We literally just moved in, what does she expect?

“I guess, but I’m not too upset about it.” And I mean it. Loud noises, a surplus of people, yeah, not my thing. I do my best thinking in a quiet environment where you can actually hear your thoughts.

“You’re odd. All my old friends felt really at home with crowds. It forced them to be social.”

I’m odd? Excuse the hell out of you, Brandy. I am not odd!

Once we scoop up some iffy-looking dinner, we grab a spot by the far wall, a bit isolated from the other tables. My idea, of course.

“Lainey, you seemed so much more…” She sighs while searching for an appropriate and not offensive word. “Gregarious. Like me, at least your online persona.”

We take a seat across from each other.

“That’s how I want people to see me. They’d get turned off if they knew I was so boring,” I tell my plate of grainy mashed potatoes. I don’t even think I’d be my own friend because my first impression isn’t very exciting.

Brandy nods and eats a forkful of food. “What would you say if I wanted to change that?” She purses her lips and waits for my response.

“You want to change me?”

“No, of course not. I just…know I can break that shell of yours. You’re hot and probably have so many great qualities. You should let people see that.”

I digest her words while I finish my plate. Then someone approaches our table. His face reminds me of a serial killer I saw in a movie once. He sits down next to Brandy without an invitation. I can see one of Brandy’s eyes twitching.

“You ladies freshmen?” the boy asks.

Brandy turns her head robotically to face him. “What’s it to you?”

The boy leans over the table. It seems he might be trying to see down my shirt or something, but that could just be me overthinking.

“I just saw two beautiful girls all alone and I?—”

“Not alone.” Brandy snaps. “We’re here together. Can you leave?”

The boy ignores her. “Can I get either of you some…dessert? Some vanilla ice cream?” He raises his brows.

“I don’t eat dessert,” I lie. His presence causes my leg to start its anxious bouncing under the table.

“Everyone likes some dessert. Personally, cookies and cream gets me goin’.”

Brandy and I exchange a look. Make him leave, I think at her.

“Lemme get you something,” the boy says almost innocently.

“No. I’ll go by myself.” I stand up, and he straightens. Maybe if I speed walk away from him he’ll catch the hint. It turns out, he is only inspired to follow me. “Stay with Brandy. I can do it.”

He catches up to me. “I would, but it’s you I like. Your friend over there doesn’t leave much to the imagination. It’s all on display,” he says.

I stop short in the middle of the dining hall. Women can never win, huh? We get shamed when we give it up and shamed when we don’t.

My heart skips a beat and not in a good way. I would rather not have a strange man mentally undress me. I manage a dry laugh. “Thanks, but I’m good.”

“Come on, you don’t mean that.”

“I do,” I retort.

He reaches for my arm, and as a reflex, I back away quickly.

“What’s wrong?” he asks innocently. I wish he would shut up.

I stare past him and see Brandy coming up behind him. She steps in between us and looks severely at this mentally deranged boy.

“All right,” she says. “That’s enough.”

He lets out a laugh. “Says you.” While the words come out, he makes a face that makes my stomach churn.

Brandy nods. “Damn right, bitch. Can’t a girl walk out the door without a sleazy guy like you trying to crawl up her ass?”

He still does not leave.

Brandy gives him a death glare, then out of nowhere lets out a bark. A literal dog bark that has this creep jumping back and losing his balance. I cover my mouth with my hand to keep in the cackle rising in my throat. She barks again, not caring about the scene she’s making.

“Jesus, chill out, crazy,” he says, in a hurry to escape.

“Hope your dick falls off,” Brandy says sternly.

The nameless boy gives us the finger and leaves. Brandy turns to me with a sweet smile.

“Thanks for that,” I say, the relief flooding through me along with a laugh.

“Ain’t no thang, girly. Let’s get some ice cream.”