23. An Attempt
We’re there for hours after dark until my eyes begin to grow heavy. Brandy is blowing up my phone with questions on my location, but I’m really not in the mood. All I send her is an indication that I am still alive, and I’ll be back soon. That’s all she needs to know.
Tamara, Mikey, Kay, and I take one last ride on the Ferris wheel. Me in the cart with Tamara for obvious reasons.
Our show kiss for Brazely reminds me of my show kiss with Cameron. His intoxicating scent, skillful mouth, hard body, and kind soul. Then I’m reminded of my reckless behavior that led to me upsetting that soul. Damn it. The longer I wait, the worse it feels to leave him with things unresolved. He’s probably gone by now.
I lean over the bar of the cart and try to catch a glimpse of Cameron, if he’s still here. From the top it’s harder to see people, so I search for him when we descend forward. It’s too dark.
“What are you looking for?” Tamara asks.
“I want to see if Cameron is here.”
I click his name in my phone and place the phone to my ear. One ring. Two rings. It rings until it goes to voicemail. “Maybe he left and fell asleep.”
Tamara chuckles. “Or he’s avoiding you. Try mine.” She hands me her phone, and I call him. One ring. Two rings.
“Hey,” he greets. In the background, I hear the howl of screams. Not regular murder ones. Fun ones. He’s still here.
“Hey, Cameron.”
“Who is this?”
Rude!
“Lain—”
The call drops, and I slam Tamara’s phone back into her hand. “Yeah, he’s avoiding me. But he’s still here.” I laugh at an ill-advised idea. “He can avoid a call, but he can’t avoid a siren.”
Tamara raises an eyebrow. I raise both of mine. “Cover your ears.” She follows my order without question.
I wait until we reach the top. I suck in a breath and cup my hands over my mouth. “Cameron Leary! Cameron!” I repeat the insane yelling until my phone is vibrating against my leg.
“Hey, Cameron.” Rest in peace my throat. Turns out yelling tears it up.
“What the hell is wrong with you?”
I sniff and turn to Tamara, hiding a smile. “What do you mean?”
“You’re screaming from the Ferris wheel.”
“No. I’m cozy at home.”
I don’t expect him to believe me, but yay, he’s talking to me!
“Don’t shit me. I know you’re at the pier. I saw you with Tam.” At these words, my heart grows another size. Back when he saw Lydia and smiled, he was smiling at me even though I pissed him off.
“Oh” is all I say.
He exhales in my ear. “A little birdie also told me you made out with her, so if you could just do me this one favor.”
Coolness runs down my spine, and hope seeps out of my body like one of those helium balloons with an invisible hole in it. His tone being the needle that pricked it. “Favor?”
“Leave me alone.”
He hangs up, but I won’t be taking that as an answer. It’s a challenge. A test. Once we finish the last lap, we are released from the ride. I escape it like a fired bullet and run toward the West Coaster. A roller coaster is the cause for most screams at a place like this. It’s also close enough to the wheel to hear me yell from the top. He has to be here.
I lose Tamara as I approach the coaster, since she probably wants no part in this nonsense.
When I saw Cameron earlier, he was wearing a pair of dark blue jeans and a red acid-washed tee. His hair was covered by a gray cap. He looked painfully hot in it. Damn.
After a bit of frantic searching, I see him. He’s in line for the frickin’ coaster, stuffing the last of his popcorn in his mouth. Without hesitation, I walk up to him and tap his thick, squeezable arm. When he turns to face me, my chest grows warm, and some lower parts think about throbbing. Why did God have to create such a kind, fun, considerate person who is also unbelievably hot? If you asked me a year ago, I wouldn’t have given him a second glance, but he really is something special.
“What?” he asks, mood going sour.
“Can we talk?”
Wow, the glowing lights of night on the pier really do a great justice to his already perfect face. He holds his hand out to one of the guys beside him, and his friend pulls something out of his pocket and drops it in Cameron’s hand. As soon as his friend flicks a lighter, I don’t need to look to know. Cameron lights the joint and puts it between his lips.
“About what?” he asks.
I grab Cameron’s wrist and pull him out of line and to a near secluded area. Well, as secluded as one could get at a crowded, California tourist attraction.
I give him a glare and the tilt of my head. I say nothing yet he responds, holding the thing away from his mouth. “I asked Dominic to get me high the next time I see you. Do you care?”
“No,” I lie in spite of the sting of his words in my chest.
Cameron tugs his wrist free. “What do you want?”
“To explain myself.”
“Don’t bother.”
I grind my teeth together. His hostility is not doing it for me. Maybe he doesn’t deserve an apology. He’s doing it to protect himself. Defense mechanism! Ugh. I push forward. “Which issue would you like me to clear up first?” I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have an edge in my voice as well.
“I don’t give a shit,” he says. He does though. I heard it in his voice over the phone and his reaction to reading the list tells me that much.
“Okay, then I’m going to ramble, and you are going to listen.”
He says nothing but also makes no attempt to leave. He cares.
“Let’s start with Tamara. I didn’t make out with her. She asked for my help to get Brazely off her back. We thought if Brazely had seen she moved on, she’d leave both of us alone.”
Cameron lifts his arms to his chest and crosses them to cover the softening of his facial expression.
I continue. “It was a favor for a friend. I mean, I never kissed a girl before, but…she’s no threat to you, idiot. You should know that.”
He frowns. “Why should I know that?”
I ignore that, he’s such a fisher. “That list was Brandy’s idea. It was a way for me to experience the things that normal people my age have already done. As simple as a first kiss and getting drunk and falling in love. It made me ashamed I hadn’t done those things yet. Brandy talked me into making it with her. It was something we were doing together.
“And to answer your question. Yes, I like you like that.”
He tries his best to hide his reaction to those words, but he’s betrayed by the twitch of a muscle in his jaw as he clenches it.
“You need to understand I’ve never been in a relationship. We never labeled what we were, I wasn’t sure what that meant.”
“You can’t pull the ignorance card. Not when we were doing what we were,” he says.
I heave a sigh. “It’s true, but fine. I was aware of what we were doing, but there was still no talk or discussion. We never even went on a date.”
He turns his head to avoid my gaze. I wonder if I should even heighten his ego and tell him the true reason I had sex with Mikey. That was, of course, the plan.
“You cannot be this naive.” He meets my eyes again. “I think I was pretty clear with my actions. Having sex with Mikey makes you the bad guy here. Not me.”
“Right. I had sex with Mikey after, what, our second make out session? Isn’t that what people do at parties? Make out with strangers?”
“I’m not a stranger,” he says, sounding extra hurt.
“But you wanna know why I really did what I did?”
He smiles but not kindly. “No, are we done?”
That’s settled. He doesn’t deserve my truth. “Fine. Do you remember the frat party?”
He blinks.
“Something you said freaked me out. Had me wanting to run in the opposite direction.”
“Oh, really?”
I nod. “Oh yeah. After you did the keg stand. You said you loved me.”
His eyes grow black, and shock creeps across his face. His lips part but only for a moment before they latch shut again.
“Think about what I said and let me know when you’re ready to have a real discussion.” I let my pride take over as I walk away. All he had to do was hear me out and drop his scowl for at least five minutes. The last thing I want to do is hurt him, but if he’s being a dick, why shouldn’t I be one too?