27. Sweets
Cameron and I have made it clear we are in a committed relationship with each other. Just within the last few weeks, I have marked off three very intimate items from my list.
He has introduced me to a new world of pleasure. One I quite literally have only had a glimpse of in dreams. I did not predict how incredible it would be with someone I love. Neither of us has said the words officially, sober and aware, but at the moment it doesn’t need to be said.
I am a changed woman, and I never want to go back.
As per Brandy’s request, this weekend I have agreed to go to a school Christmas party with her, Cameron not included. Brandy argues he gets enough of me, and it’s her turn. I have to admit it feels nice to be desired.
Who would have thought that everyone would be wearing red and green at a red-and-green holiday party? Crazy.
The recreation center gymnasium has been transformed into a Christmas wonderland with streamers, lights, and a large tree up against the back wall.
“I have no idea how you expect us to cross off any list items here. This is a PG party.”
Brandy shrugs, then looks to her over-the-shoulder purse. My eyes follow. She unzips it just enough to expose the top of a couple of bottles of mini liquor.
“How’d you manage that?”
She raises a brow. “I’ve befriended some senior smugglers.”
Finding that not odd at all, I revisit my original question, and she pulls out the list. The poor, raggedy piece of paper that we should have typed out. Whatever. We’ll do that later. She points to the item karaoke. I follow her gaze to a makeshift stage area by the shiny tree. It’s a red rug. On top is a speaker, a microphone, and a boy behind a DJ station. Huh. An odd thing to completely not notice at first glance.
“How did you know there would be karaoke?”
She does not explain. “I’ll put your name on the list.”
My gut twists in my body. “Brandy, I don’t want to. I’ll look like an idiot.”
She waves me off. “I’ll go up with you. And I bet you”ll feel loads better after a couple of sips of liquid courage.” She winks then leaves my side.
Immediately after, a firm, rough hand grasps my wrist. His grip is so tight I cannot even yank myself free. I turn slowly to see the blond hair of Stef. It’s messy and so is his mental state. I can tell his eyes are bloodshot, and he is totally shitfaced. Why? Why here? Why so early?
“Tease, I’m so glad to see you again.” His voice is slurred and scary as hell. “I couldn’t not ask about what you’re wearing.”
I swallow a giant lump. “Let go, please.”
He lightens his hold but remains attached to me. “Your outfit,” he starts. “What’s under it? You have on a nice silky bra or is that your bare breast under there?”
Shock does not begin to cover my expression. My chest burns and so do my eyes, but I blink back the fear. He cannot know he’s scaring me. I wish Brandy would hurry back already.
“The way your green pants hug your ass, you’re probably going commando there too.” He leans into me, his liquor-laced breath making my eyes burn. “Would you show me if I ask nice?”
Barf. I need to barf.
“No.” That’s all I manage to say because my eyes fill with tears, but I cannot do that in front of Stef. To people like him, crying is a weakness, and I will not give him the power. David, please pick better friends!
A nasty smile creeps across his face. “Then I won’t ask, sweets. You’ll just show me.”
That does it. That sentence sends a wave of nausea through me. I grab hold of his arm with my free hand and dig my long nails into his skin. “Let go of me,” I say through my clenched teeth. He pulls away, which gives me time to escape him and run straight into Brandy by the karaoke station.
“What song do you want?” she asks casually.
“Uhhhh,” I say, looking around in hopes I’ve lost him. It seems I have.
She flips through the book of songs available to sing to. I really couldn’t care less. “Oh. They have the Jonas Brothers. You love them.”
“Whatever. You decide.”
Brandy smiles widely. “Okay.”
She shuts the book with a smile and tugs me into the bathroom. In less than one second, her hand is shoving a bottle into my gut. I glance over the label. “Surely, you don’t expect me to chug this. It’s forty percent alcohol.”
“Well, I don’t intend to drag you back to our room, so just take enough to be okay with a bunch of college students watching you sing like an amateur.”
At the same time, we unscrew our caps and take a gulp. I leave two thirds left in the tiny tequila bottle. I have another smaller sip for good measure and hand it back to Brandy.
When we enter the gym again, we are greeted with the sound of screws in a blender. Oh wait. No, it’s just Brazely singing karaoke dressed like she’s on a nude beach. All right, that might be an exaggeration, but not by much. She’s in red booty shorts and a green bralette. If she spots me here, I’ll be dead and buried ten feet under for kissing Tamara. Her obsession.
I thank the Lord as her song ends. She hops off the “stage” and meets Stef in the crowd. I hold on to Brandy’s arm as we both watch them suck each other’s faces off. It makes sense. She’s pissed and totally sicced Stef on me. I wouldn’t put it past her.
Brandy and I are called next for karaoke, and we go on stage. The tequila sinks in, giving me the need to be better than Brazely. The only kind of singing I’ve ever done was in school pageants, but I’m sure I at least sound better than a blender trying to grind up metal. Once “Paranoid” starts playing through the speakers, I feel totally confident. I know this song like I know my name. I’m on a roll until verse two, when Stef makes eye contact with me, unblinking. His lips curl into a nasty grin, and the urge to vomit rises up my throat. I stop singing altogether and escape the gym, sliding into a bathroom stall in the girl’s room.
I am able to get a few breaths of air until there’s another pair of feet in the room. At first, I think it’s Brandy, but a deep husky voice speaks. “Sweets, why the hell you runnin’?”
My heart bangs in my ear. My eyes water as I think of Cameron. Please come to rescue me. I love you, and you make me feel safe.
I try my best to quiet my breathing. Quite impossible because I start to panic as Stef’s feet approach my stall. I back into the corner. What happened to my balls? I pushed him off me before. God, that was because we were in public, so he wouldn’t dare try something. Now we’re alone. Someone. Anyone help me. “Get away from me,” I manage to say, though it comes out shaky and not-at-all threatening.
Stef clicks his tongue. “Can’t. I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately. What I’d do once I get you alone.”
My hand flies to my mouth, keeping me quiet. It’s fine. I will be fine. I drop my hand. Maybe if I face him he won’t be as scary. It must be the tequila that walks me to the door. The tequila that unlocks the stall. I look into Stef’s lustful eyes. It’s a wonder I ever found him attractive. His inner ugly leaks onto his outer appearance.
“Good girl,” he drawls, taking a step closer.
I push on his chest, and he backs up a bit, a wicked smile taking over his face. “I said leave me alone.”
“You wanna play rough? I can do that.”
He grips me tight and slams me against the wall. “Brandy!” is all I get out before he smashes his alcohol-soaked lips to mine. Choking me. I bite him as hard as I can just as the door to the bathroom swings open. He jumps away, both of us panting.
Brandy’s eyes go wide, but she says nothing. Stef doesn’t try anything else either. Fear of being caught, that nasty little coward. Brandy shoots daggers at him as she gently wraps her hand over mine and pulls me out of the bathroom. We don’t stop walking until we leave the recreation center. Tears begin to pour from my eyes. Brandy can tell no words will help at this moment, so she hugs me, protectively holding the back of my head.
“Please keep me as far from him as you can,” I say into her shoulder.
She kisses my head, understanding me. “I’ve got you. He won’t touch you again as long as I’m here with you.”
We stay like this for minutes until my heart begs for Cameron. I love him. I do. Brandy is my best friend, and I am forever grateful for her right now. Just need someone who can help me sleep tonight. Someone to hold me until the image of Stef’s hungry, predatory behavior goes away.
Completely understanding my reasoning, Brandy walks me to Cameron’s door after a stop at our room. She knocks until he swings it open.
“What the fuck?” he asks in a husky voice.
“You weren’t sleeping, were you? It’s only ten,” Brandy asks harshly.
“No, it’s Friday. I was just…”
One whiff and I know. He was smoking. Mikey must be gone for the weekend. I tilt my head a bit to see he abandoned a bong on his dresser.
I walk straight into his arms. I hug his neck and my legs wrap around his waist. Without struggle, he holds me close to him.
“She stays with you tonight.” I can hear Brandy hand him a small bag of my overnight items, then the door shuts. I squeeze him tighter as if any moment he could disappear forever. Not on my watch. I take in his scent. He still smells faintly like cologne and comfort. The weed mixed in is not bothering me as much as it usually would.
He kisses my neck and guides me to his bed where he sits me down. I don’t let go of him.
“My sweet girl, who the hell do I need to beat the shit out of? What happened?” He skips asking how I am, if I’m okay. That answer being obvious.
“Can we talk about anything but that?” I finally detach myself from him, wanting a good look at his face. He’s so cute. His hair is fluffy and untidy. I run my hands through it to calm it down. “You make me feel safe, and I’d just like to feel safe tonight.”
He holds back a giant smile, only giving me a twitch of his lips. “Anything you need.”
Reluctantly, I walk away to shower myself of Stef’s greedy lips and hands. I spend too long shedding tears over that troll. I finish up after I give myself a tiny pep talk. When I walk out all fresh and clean, Cameron’s by the window, blowing smoke into the night sky through an open window.
“Don’t do that,” I say, my voice strained.
He whips his head around. “I can’t help it. I’m so damn anxious right now.”
“Sorry.”
He looks horrified. He sets the bong on his desk and packs it up. Once I’m close enough, he takes my hands. “Don’t apologize.”
“You were the only person I wanted to see.”
“What happened?” he asks. He sounds severely wounded that I’m in such distress and won’t tell him why.
I shake my head the slightest bit. “Tomorrow.”
“Okay.” He pulls me up against the bed, but we remain standing. He does his best to pretend everything is all right. “At the frat party. When we sat in that circle. I wondered if you’d go through with smoking. I was relieved when you rejected the joint.”
“Me too.” I smile, appreciating the shift in conversation.
He swallows loudly. “When you took my smoke in your mouth—” He laughs to himself. “—it may have turned me on.”
I can’t help but laugh at that. He must be nearly high to admit that. Or he’s trying to make me laugh. “Me too.” I take his hand in mine and press my lips against his love line. I guess we are confessing things now. “At the frat party. When you were lifted into the air on that keg. Your shirt fell, and it definitely turned me on.”
He bites his lower lip and pushes me up against the elevated bed gently. “When I found out about your list. As I read through it, my heart broke when I saw Sex was already checked off.”
His confession fills me with dread and guilt. He was supposed to help me, not upset me more.
But he continues. “I wanted you to pick me even before I saw you this fall.”
I press my palms against his chest. “What?”
His hands cover mine. “The only possible way I was guilty of cheating on Kylie was if it were cheating to be in love with her friend. Her name was Lainey or something.” He chuckles and my breathing steadies.
His eyes meet mine, and my chest feels a crushing weight against it.
“This girl was the sweetest, most beautiful girl I ever met but never showed an interest in me. We were friends.” He cups my left cheek with his hand and strokes it.
“Kylie showed interest in me though. Sex alone was my use to her, I found out soon after we got together.” He looks to his feet, which are covered in a pair of white socks. “You know the rest, but that sweet, beautiful girl wanted nothing to do with me. Then she hated me. I didn’t understand what for until she yelled it across the table in a crowded dining hall.”
“Cameron,” I say softly.
“She thought I had done some terrible thing to her friend. This whole time. She thought so little of me.” His throat bobs as he swallows. He tilts his head back up to look in my eyes. Despite his words, he wears a smile. The sweetest one I’ve ever seen. “Then she kissed me. It was awkward and confusing but a kiss nonetheless.” He drags his thumb across my bottom lip. “From then I fell in love again.”
I’m at a loss for words. Tears sting my eyes as they do his.
He’s in love with me. He loves me. It wasn’t just the weed!
I slide my hands from his and hop on the bed in a sitting position. I open my legs and allow him to stand right in between them.
“She came to my door tonight, wrapped her arms around me and told me she felt safe with me.” Our lips meet in a kiss so sweet I think I may die. “I feel safe with her too,” he says when we part.
He’s just made it easy to say what I need to say. “You love her?” I ask him.
He blinks slowly and smiles brightly. “I do, indeed.”
“Then you’re in luck.”
He teases my lips with his and speaks softly against them. “Why is that?”
I force myself to be brave like him. “She loves you too.”
He kisses me hard and with urgency, letting out a desperate moan. I hug his neck again as he leaves a trail of kisses down my own. His hands go from my face to my arms to my thighs, without even leaving contact with my skin. “I love you so damn much,” he says in my ear.
“I love you forever,” I tell him as I squeeze the back of his shirt. He presses his lips to my temple and I hold him there.
“Forever is a long time, Coleson.”
I slide my hand into his hair. “I’m aware, but I don’t think it’s long enough.” Now, that gets me some extra credit points.