19. Anthony
NINETEEN
ANTHONY
“ I need to go.” He’s cold again.
“What happened?” I reach out to touch him, but he pulls away.
“Nothing.” He won’t even look at me. I’ve never seen someone take such a hard one-eighty.
“It’s not nothing. You completely changed.”
He’s never like this. He’s so upbeat all the time. To see him completely deflate in front of my eyes destroys me.
“Only a dose of reality.”
“If you think I’m buying that crap—” I cut myself off, rethinking what I’m trying to say. “If you’re going to keep pursuing this, us, you don’t get to be a block of ice with me when something bad happens. Talk to me.”
“I need to get back to my room so we aren’t found out.” He pulls away, but I tighten my grip.
“You’re not going anywhere.”
Logan’s flicks his gaze from my hand to my face. “So the dominance thing does extend outside of sex?”
“It’s not solely a dominance thing.” How do I say I care without scaring him off? He’s obviously skittish when it comes to feelings, if our early conversation is any indication, but he keeps pushing this.
“I knew it.” He drags his teeth over his lower lip, fighting his normal pushback. “But what do you think it’s going to do for us here?”
I ignore his question, going in a totally different direction. “You know, one thing that drew me to you is your perpetual happiness. You shake things off so easily, and even if it’s fucking evil, you always have that damn smile on your face.” I brush my thumb over his lip, freeing it from his teeth.
“Thank you for finally admitting the snark works on you.” His lips twitch, not allowing himself to smile.
I pull him closer, kissing him again. “Your snark is attractive, but it’s more than that. It’s a little like drinking liquid sunshine when I’m with you. I feel brighter because of it.”
“What are you trying to do with this?” Logan whispers into my lips, softening against my hold, giving over to my tongue.
“I don’t want to just fuck. If we are going to keep doing this, I want more.”
“More what?” he asks while his arms find their way around my neck.
“Time. More than just random hookups.”
“Wait...are you saying you want to do things other than fuck?”
“Yes, I think that’s what I’m saying.”
“Ew.”
I growl out my frustration, and he laughs. I shove him backward, turning away from him. What the fuck am I thinking? I must have lost my mind to even entertain this relationship, let alone think it’s more than sex.
Logan steps around me, getting in my face. “Isn’t being totally physical the whole point of sleeping with someone younger? I’m horny and don’t have any of the downsides like feelings.”
“You pretend not to have feelings, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have any.”
“It’s easier.” He levels with me, chest to chest. “I thought this was too much. You have a lot to lose.”
“Do you want to stop sleeping together?”
“No.”
“So if I stop, you’ll…”
“Keep doing what I have been doing, and it will work.” Confidence consumes Logan. He knows how easily he can get what he wants.
“Then why are you against spending more time together?”
He looks out the window and stays quiet.
“How many other people are you doing this with?” I ask at length. I need to know. Maybe his answer will let me close this chapter.
His head whips around, showing the anger in his eyes. “How much fucking time do you think I have outside of school, practice, and this?”
I lift my shoulders. “You’ve only been with me a few nights in the last month, and I’m not an idiot. I know how you picked me up.”
He shakes his head, a laugh sitting at the edge of his mouth. “I haven’t picked up another person. I’ve been a little preoccupied with great dick.”
My lips twitch.
“Is that a smile?” Logan reaches for my face.
I grab his wrist. “Don’t fucking push it.”
He skims his lips over mine instead. “So it’s actually possible for you to smile. Those muscles still work?”
“It’s not.”
“I see the evidence.” He breathes the words into the kiss.
I swallow them, not confirming. Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. I can’t remember the last time I had.
“You’re learning. Old dogs can learn new tricks too.”
“What am I learning?” I ask between twists of our tongues.
“To not argue with me.” His smile widens.
“Will you be learning the same lesson?” I nip his bottom lip.
“Probably not. But you never know. Miracles do happen.”
“You’re insufferable.”
“And here you are, the one who wants to spend more time with me.” Logan gives me a cheeky grin.
“I know, I’m already regretting it.” I expect his next move and grab his ass with both hands so he can’t pull away. “Now, what deflated your mood?”
“My father is cheating again.” His tone delivers the words with ice.
“Again?” I’m mad for him. “Does your mother know?”
As if I need another reason to hate his father, but he keeps giving them to me.
“Not yet. My brother flew home because he suspected it, and I guess he found something. And I get to tell my mother.” Logan again attempts to detangle from my grasp, but my size gives me quite the advantage, bum knee or not.
“You’re not going anywhere until I say you can,” I say firmly.
“I could scream.”
“If you want my cock down your throat, you can just ask.”
He narrows his eyes. “It can’t be that easy.”
“It is.”
“Let me suck your cock then,” he demands.
“You’re going to suck me off to prove a point, aren’t you?”
“Obviously. And you’re going to enjoy it. So what are we waiting for?”
“You have to talk to me first, and then I’ll fuck you until you can’t stay awake any longer.”
He glances between us. “Got some Viagra?”
“It’s a shame you’ve never been with a man who knows how to edge. By the time I’m done, you’ll be so desperate for us both to come, you’ll be begging.”
He groans, leaning into me. “Can we skip directly to that?”
“I thought you couldn’t stay the night in my hotel room.”
“Stop using my words against me.” He rubs his nose over mine, and for a moment, it’s like I have the real Logan. He’s still an ass, but softer. “I won’t be doing that.”
“Come to bed with me.”
He sighs. “I can’t. I have to go.”
“Where are you going to go? We have a flight home tomorrow, and it’s late. You can’t do anything rational tonight. Just come to bed.”
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” he says, giving in. He laces his fingers in mine and lets me tug him towards the bed.
We slip under the covers and tangle up in one another, but it’s not exactly sexual. Logan presses his face into my neck.
“What can I do?” I ask against his temple.
“Nothing. I have to tell her.”
“Why are you getting in the middle of it?” I hold him to me.
His breathing eases. “Because if I don’t tell her, the media eventually will, and no one should be forced into that position by the person they love or the fucking tabloids.”
“What a shit position, but I know all about it. I found out my wife was cheating by getting sent tabloid photos.”
Logan picks his head up to look into my eyes. “What?”
“I came to interview for the job here after our nasty divorce. She dragged me through the mud for eighteen months after she cheated on me with another fucking hockey player and had the audacity to tell me before I left for my interview that she couldn’t wait until I moved so she didn’t have to remember what a disappointment of a husband I was by seeing me around.”
“Why the fuck were you a disappointment?”
“Because I retired early, injured. I think she missed the lifestyle and money. She spent it like it was going out of style and then took most of the rest of what I had, which is why I needed a job. We would have been fine leading a normal life.” My words carry no anger. I don’t hold it anymore. I’m much happier here than with her dark cloud over my head.
He curls his upper lip. “There aren’t words vile enough for me to say right now.”
“It was a pretty bad couple of years, but that week was low.”
He cups my cheek, rubbing his thumb over my skin. “I walked in on my father fucking some puck bunny a few hours before I met you. So we were both having a rather bad night.”
“And your mother didn’t leave him?”
“He begged for a second chance.”
“And he’s already back to it?” I blink. “What a piece of shit.”
“He’s great at manipulating her, and she’s in love with him.”
“Will telling her even do any good?”
He lifts his shoulders. “She deserves to hear it from me before it embarrasses her. After that, it’s her choice.”
“No matter what she does, you need to wash your hands of it after this. If she chooses to stay, you can’t make it your life.”
“That’s easier said than done.”
I open my mouth but stop myself. I’m about to put myself out there, and I can’t tell if any of it is a good idea. But Krista’s words stick out to me. I’m already doing it. Why am I pussyfooting around?
“Come over after.” It’s not an ask.