34. Logan
THIRTY-FOUR
LOGAN
I realize it as soon as I step out of Anthony’s apartment—I need to do one thing before I implement my plan. I call a car, and a short while later, I’m in front of my family’s house. I hope Mother is here and not out of the country or something, but with Evander living here again full time, she should be.
I let myself in, and I’m quickly greeted by Lena. I give her a hug, and she then insists on looking me over.
“You’ve put on so much muscle.”
“Have I?” I haven’t looked at myself seriously in months. I’ve been too preoccupied.
“A ton. You look good. Strong, but not like your father.” She winks.
I smile and hug her again. “Is Mother still awake?”
It’s not that late, but my mother is an early riser.
“Yes, she’s reading in the solarium.” She gives me another squeeze before demanding my coat and sending me off.
I slip in to the solarium, and Mother looks up, a slight frown forming on her lips.
“Is everything okay?” She puts a bookmark in her novel and sets it aside.
With no idea how to start, I sink into a seat next to her. “I have something to tell you, and it may involve having misled you in the past. I know you dealt with a lot with Dad coming out in the media before you knew, and I don’t want to do that with you.” I find the words, knowing it’s the right thing to do even if she’s upset with me.
Her frown deepens. “I appreciate you coming to me.”
“Try to keep an open mind. Please.”
She searches my face. “Of course.”
I sigh. She has been through so much hurt this year. The last thing I want to do is hurt her more. The words stick in my throat, and I know I have to figure out how to do this, but I don’t know how.
My mother slides her hand into mine. “Whatever you have to tell me, know I will always love you. There is nothing you can say to me that would make me stop. I know you’ve gone through a lot telling me about your father, and I will never forgive him for putting you two in the middle.”
My eyes water, and I fight it, squeezing her hand. “I’m sorry I lied to you.”
“Kids lie sometimes. Lying differs from betraying trust. Neither is good, but you didn’t make a commitment to me.” She sits back, tucking her legs under her. “What’s bothering you so much?”
“I’m kind of dating my hockey coach.” I cringe, waiting for the bomb to process, but she doesn’t react the way I expect.
She pats my cheek. “You think I can’t tell when my oldest, my heart, is in love? I knew the minute you brought that man here, my love. Well, the minute after I confirmed you weren’t trying to set him up with me. Once that was off the table, I had to wonder why you were bringing him around, and then I figured it out.”
My mouth falls open. “How?!”
“The way you look at him. What do you kids say? With heart eyes?”
I give her a flat look. “I don’t have fucking heart eyes.”
“Sure, darling.” She pats my cheek again.
“So you’re not mad?”
“Heavens, no. You’ve always preferred older men. Your coach might not be the best choice, but the heart wants what it wants. I know that. Why did you feel the need to tell me at—” She lifts her wrist to check her watch. “Nine pm?”
I exhale heavily. “Dad. He’s been causing issues since Grandpa fired him, but it’s getting worse since we beat the Monsters. He’s trying to get Anthony fired.”
“He’s always been so petty. I’m not surprised. They aren’t listening to him, are they?”
“It seems like they are. I offered to quit the team, but Anthony doesn’t want me to, so I’m trying something else. I can’t see him get fired. Nothing will make me quit hockey faster. There’s a risk it could all backfire, though, and if it all comes out, I wanted you to hear it from me first and not read it.” I feel better about it already, just getting this off my chest.
“Don’t quit hockey. Even your grandfather is impressed with your playing this year, and you know nothing impresses him!”
“He is?”
She nods emphatically. “Very. He’s been to every game.”
“I know, but it’s Grandfather.”
She smiles. “I know he and your father gave a lot of attention to Evander, but you mean the world to him too. He wants you to take over the team when he dies.”
“Me? What about you? I’d never take that from you.”
“I won’t be going anywhere, but it’s a family business, and I want you there.”
I lean in and hug her. “Thank you. I love you.”
“I love you too, always. Now, go do what you need to do, and you better not quit hockey.”
I roll my eyes and get up. “Thank you. Don’t tell Dad.”
“You know I won’t. I can’t get him to even pick up his crap from the house. And he has a mandate from the lawyer.” She gets up with me. “I’ll walk you out.”
“He still hasn’t picked up his stuff?”
“Nope. I even paid someone to box it up for him.”
This motherfucker. He’s really fucking with everyone I love to a whole other level, and I want to bury him.
I pull out my phone and unblock my father. “Let me try.”
It rings a few times before he answers. “Hello?”
“Dad?” I ask.
“Logan. It’s so good to hear from you. Is this about your coach? I’m so sorry to hear he’s been fired.”
Mother’s eyes flash to meet mine.
When I don’t say anything, he keeps going. “I’m guessing you’re looking into your options for next year. We’re going to have steep competition, but I’ll consider letting you play for the Monsters.”
My blood is boiling by the time he finishes. “I wouldn’t play for you if it was the last team on the planet.”
He growls. “Then why the fuck are you calling me, Logan?”
“Because you seem to be ignoring Mother.” I hold out the phone so she can speak.
“You have three days to come pick up your crap, or I’m donating it. Every trophy, every jersey, every medal. I’ll even donate your grandmother’s ashes.”
“You’d donate Grandma?!”
“Since she covered for your cheating when she was alive, yes, she can sit on the shelf at Goodwill and think about what she’s done.” Mother rolls her eyes, and I stifle a laugh.
“She just wanted her little pumpkin to be happy! She doesn’t deserve Goodwill.” Dad actually sounds worried for once.
“Maybe she should have told her little pumpkin to keep his dick in his pants. Three days, Michael.” She presses end. “Thank you.”
“If he doesn’t come get the shit, please, please donate it.”
“Actually, I think I’ll donate it to an auction house so all his old crap can raise money for something.” She crosses her arms over her chest. “Go do what you need to do.”
Another cab ride across Manhattan, and I find myself at Wolfe’s. They were having a party, but I’d texted him before heading to my mother’s to tell them I needed to tell the team something.
So when I knock, I’m fully expecting to get accosted by the entire team, half drunk.
“You better not be quitting.” Wolfe cuts an opposing figure when he opens the door.
“How long have you guys been assuming the worst?”
“Since you sent that text. It was like a damn break up text. You never say we need to talk.”
I blink at him. “Who knew you were such a sensitive soul?”
“It’s common decency to not leave someone hanging. People have anxiety!”
This is the last thing I expected from Wolfe.
“I’m sorry. I wanted to make sure the entire team would be here.”
Wolfe steps back, revealing Archangel. “If you quit—” he starts.
“Wolfe already told me. Will you two let me inside?”
Someone turns on the overhead light as I walk into the living room, and half the room groans.
“This better be good,” Lovelace says.
“I thought you guys trusted me?” I look at my friends for some support.
“You sent a break up message,” Savage mutters.
“Fine. I’m sorry. I need your guy’s help so Coach doesn’t get fired.”
That shuts them up real quick.
“What the fuck?” Archangel asks when I don’t say anything right away. “Why would he be fired?”
“My dad is a pissy bitch who is butt hurt we kicked their asses.”
“That motherfucker again?” Wolfe asks.
“We need to bury him. That’s how we handle problems where I’m from,” Archangel says through his teeth.
Wolfe puts a hand on Archangel’s bicep. “Calm down. Let’s hear Cox out. It’s his dad.”
“Stop being sensible. You’re a goalie, for Christ’s sake.” Archangel doesn’t pull away from Wolfe’s grip.
The entire team looks at me.
“Coach wanted to quit.” I hold up my hands as they start to chatter. “Let me fucking finish.” I wait until they quiet down to continue. “I think I talked him off the ledge. I tried to quit, since I’m sure my father would care less if I’m not on the team, but An—Coach wouldn’t let me, and I’m sure you guys wouldn’t be happy with either of us leaving, so I think I need to come clean.”
I could have heard a pin drop. Every single one of them is silent.
“I’ve been fucking Coach…” I hesitate because that’s not what it is. It’s not what it has been for a long time. “I mean, we’re dating, I guess.” I brace for impact.
It takes a second before it sinks in, and everyone starts talking at once.
I just let them. What else can I do?
“Quiet the fuck down,” Wolfe yells. “I got questions.” He waits for them to shut up and then turns to me. “That’s the secret boyfriend?” He turns to Ridgeway. “I thought you said he was keeping it a secret because he’s dating a guy.”
“I wasn’t wrong!” Ridgeway says.
Wolfe puts a hand over his face and just laughs. “I knew you were mouthy and like to buck authority, but goddamn. I’m not sure if I should be angry or impressed.”
I smirk. “I’m good at what I do.”
“Wait, Coach is gay?” Raven asks.
Archangel glances at him. “You got a problem with that?”
Raven lifts his hands. “No. He’s just never come out.”
A murmur runs through the team.
“Why are you telling us?” Wolfe asks.
“Because while my father is trying to get him fired for ‘recruiting my brother illegally’, I know he’s going to keep pushing. The athletic director already believes my dad over Coach, so it’s just a matter of time. I couldn’t let him quit, and I knew you guys would agree. It’s better to come clean and keep him as our coach than lose him.” I know I have to get Wolfe on board. If he and Archangel sign on, the rest of the guys will follow.
“What can we do? I’m pretty sure that’s PR they aren’t going to like.”
“They aren’t going to want it to come out, but we need to present a united front. We have to stand together, tell them they won’t have a team for a new coach if they fire Anthony.”
A low murmur runs through the room.
“I see what you’re putting down. Collective bargaining. My dad is a union man. I’m familiar.” Wolfe leans over to talk to Archangel.
They whisper back and forth then come back with a few more questions. I explain how Anthony and I met and answer anything else they want to know. No point in hiding anything now. I need them to trust me and keep trusting me for this to work.
“And what if they call our bluff and get rid of us all?”
“Do you think any of us won’t get picked up by another team?”
Most of them agree.
“And if this doesn’t work?” Wolfe asks.
I know what he means. “I’ll get my grandfather involved. I don’t know if that will work, though. He’s pretty influential, but I don’t know how he’ll feel about his grandson dating a man, let alone my coach. But I’m willing to do it if they won’t budge.”
“That’s really fucking brave of you. I’m in,” Archangel speaks first. He looks at Wolfe.
“Me too.” Wolfe nods.
It’s late by the time I get back to Anthony’s.He meets me at the door. “Where did you get a key?”
I shrug. “I took yours and made a copy while you were distracted one day.” I wasn’t waiting outside in the snow again.
“Of course you did.” He gives me a flat look. “How did it go?”
“They all took it well. Archangel got on board, then Wolfe, and the rest followed.”
“I’m not sure this is going to work.”
“Have faith. They’ve got our backs.”