Not A Chance (Heartstrings #2)

24. Indie

Hockey players’ schedules weren’t for the faint of heart. Somehow, Theo had skirted catching the awful virus that kept me in bed for three days. I’d only just started feeling like myself again, knowing that I had to clarify where things stood between us, when the team set off for another set of away games.

That left us in a weird kind of limbo. I wasn’t a fan of leaving things unsaid.

I had too many years being seen and not heard in my parents’ circles. It wasn’t the same as that sort of oppressive silence, but this time, it was a game schedule keeping me from re-establishing some boundaries with Theo.

I was grateful for his help, but I couldn’t allow myself to get used to it and then have it taken away. I’d been taking care of myself since I was eighteen officially (and many years informally once my parents decided school was “too important” to drag me along as an accessory on their work trips anymore). I didn’t need someone to hold my hand every time I got a little sniffle .

Wasn’t it sooo nice to have someone take care of you for a change?

I shoved the traitorous voice inside my head aside. It would never have occurred to me to ask Theo for help last week, and the truth was I was still uncomfortable having accepted his help.

The cold, gray late-autumn Toronto weather seeped into my bones as I made my way to the Billings Centre, which held both head office and the main arena for the Tempests games. Even though streetcars were available to take me westward to work, there was something about the fifteen or twenty minutes of walking that helped me clear my head.

My hands buried deep in the pockets of my new wool peacoat, I felt my phone vibrate. Pulling it from my pocket, I saw the notification for my group text with Emery and Abbie.

Emery

How are you feeling? I hope better. That cold sounded nasty. You should come home to CA. I think some fresh Amado air would clear any lingering germs right up.

Guilt wormed its way through my system. Even though Theo had outrageously called Emery to ask her permission to date me, it didn’t feel like she took him seriously. Nor had I made any mention of even being friendly with Theo over the past month to Emery.

It was shitty of me to keep this thing I was doing with him a secret from her. I didn’t think she’d care—hell, maybe she’d even be excited—but once it ran its course sooner or later, Emery would be put in the very awkward position of pointedly not talking about Theo in front of me for fear that she’d hurt my feelings.

My friends were absolutely my family. Emery had a family who loved her outside of me and Abbie. I didn’t want to force her to pick and choose what she could share with me.

Indie

Ha. I wish. At least it’s still above 60 there, right? It’s like freaking 9C here. In the DAYTIME.

I quickly flipped over to my trusty Weather Network internet browser bookmark to get the conversion.

Indie

Ugh. It’s worse than I thought. That’s like 48F.

Emery

Brrr. All the more reason to come home. Maybe your dad has gotten over the insanity that made him think you needed to go to a whole other country to make you ambitious or whatever it was he wanted.

I loved her trademark positivity, but short of me signing a contract with my family’s empire, giving my father exactly what he wanted, there was no way I was getting to go home early.

You’d have to leave Theo then, too .

The sudden whoosh of my stomach had me seeing red. God, it was like my nineteen-year-old self had possessed some part of my brain, pushing these thoughts on me that I didn’t want to deal with. They were entirely unwelcome.

Liar.

No. I would control myself and shut down weak thoughts like that. I’d only ever let my guard down once, and I’d spent those months before my twentieth birthday picking up the broken pieces of my heart. Never again.

Indie

Yeah, sorry. It’s not going to happen. When Gerald Layne makes up his mind, he doesn’t bend.

Abbie

Hey. Was just getting ready for work. Glad you’re on the mend, Ind. What can we do to get your dad to let you come home? We missssss you. You also need to send us more pics of Giz. I’m making a Baby’s First Year album. Congratulations Fur-Mama!

Indie

Yeah, yeah. I can tell you’re gloating from here. And she’s five years old, Abs.

The rescue had contacted me for an update on Giz, and I just couldn’t bring myself to let her go to another family. So I’d officially adopted her.

Abbie

It’s not about her age, babe. It’s her first year in her forever home!

I could imagine Abbie waving that concern off. God, she knew how to push all my feelings buttons.

Indie

Yep, I’m sure you were “getting ready for work” all right. And short of discovering he’s been hiding a secret criminal empire all these years, there’s nothing, babe.

I replied, shifting the conversation off my overly sentimental thoughts around finally getting a pet.

Abbie

Boo. And I was really getting ready for work. Aiden left an hour ago.

Emery

Wow.

Abbie

Wow, what?

Emery

He’s sleeping in these days! Heading out at 7:00 AM is positively sloth-like for him.

Indie

Well, he does have a gooood reason to stay in bed these days, doesn’t he Em?

Emery

Why, yes, he does.

Abbie

I thought we were talking about Indie. How did this become tease Abbie time?

My lips parted on a laugh, startling another pedestrian trying to pass me as I’d slowed down my pace to type.

Indie

Because it’s too fun now that you are loved up in a gorgeous house with a gorgeous man. And I’m all for it, girl. For you. Not me. Give me my old apartment in downtown Amado any day. Gah. I miss walking over to the community center after work.

Emery

Oh! I meant to tell you. I stopped by there a couple weeks ago and picked up a slot to teach a drop in art class for any of the kids you were working with.

That was Emery. All goodness to the core. The muscles in my chest squeezed my heart tightly at how much I missed my volunteer tutoring shifts at Amado’s central community center. I’d been working with some of the kids since I started college, and I’d had to leave them so abruptly. But of course, it was another thing my father saw as disposable in my life.

Indie

Thank you, Em. I’m sure they’ll love it more than the math equations I always forced on them.

Emery

Don’t for a second think that I’m going to be able to fill your shoes there. But I thought it would be good for me to remind myself that my undergraduates were once innocent. A fresh perspective and all that.

I privately wished Emery would just concentrate on creating art. She was happiest in her studio. But she wanted to be the second Professor Yao in her family, so I didn’t say anything.

Abbie

OK, let’s forget altruism for a second. Blah, blah good for the world and all that. You’re both angels. Ind, any good inside gossip to share about those world class, not to mention hot athletes you work with on a daily basis? Now that neither of us are in the main Appeal building, nothing ever happens around here that’s worth mentioning.

Hoping to keep the conversation away from Theo because I didn’t want to outright lie to them, and especially not to Emery, I chose the best fall guy for the job: Campbell.

Indie

Nothing huge, but Ryan Campbell, the alternate captain and right winger, told the largest hockey magazine in the country that he and I were living together.

Abbie

LOL. What?!

Indie

Yep. He’s from Georgia so the last name Layne doesn’t strike fear into his heart. To be fair, he thinks I’m just another member of his staff and he can use me in his schemes. Which I am, except Gerald Layne’s family name isn’t something he can play around with so I had to threaten the reporter within an inch of his life.

I wasn’t going to mention what the reporter wanted to ask Theo about his and Emery’s mom. That was still a barely held together wound for Emery. She didn’t need to worry about the press digging into her business.

Emery

If I could admit that hockey players were hot, Ryan Campbell would be top of the list. Since my brother playing hockey forced me to spend time in freezing cold arenas and outside disgusting locker rooms, I’ve seen the truth for myself.

Abbie

I’m just over here pretending I have any idea what a right winger is. Carry on.

Emery

How is Theo? I haven’t heard from him since he called me a couple weeks back. How are his knees? He saw someone last year in Vancouver but never mentioned it again. Whenever I ask about it, he clams up and tells me he has to go.

Yeah, I know. He called you from my kitchen . There was the guilt rising in my esophagus, threatening to choke me.

What could I say to her? Gee, Emery, I think he’s good after we had sex without a condom for the first time in my life, and we both came more than once. Or he stayed by my side and took care of me while I was sick.

Yeah, right. Typing those words would happen exactly never. Both of those circumstances made this thing with Theo sound way more involved than it really was, like I trusted him a great deal.

What was the deal with his knees? It sounded like he had something significant going on, and he’d never once mentioned it.

The sting of hurt was a sign I was on the right track with my plan to set things straight with Theo once he was back in town.

This wouldn’t be the first thing I kept from Emery and Abbie because I didn’t want them to have to deal with my issues. And when I had to end things with Theo, they wouldn’t have to worry about me.

So I kept it vague.

Indie

I think he’s OK, Em. The team’s away for four days so I haven’t even seen him. He’s been playing better than ever, according to the coaching staff. Almost at work. Talk later xx

There. That sounded like something a friend of the family would say.

I picked up my pace, feeling colder than when I left my apartment building. Despite now being keen to get to work and distract myself with the day’s tasks, I couldn’t stop myself from mentally calculating how many hours were left until I saw Theo again.