Not A Chance (Heartstrings #2)

37. Indie

After the present-opening frenzy where she’d excused herself to the peace and quiet of the living room, Giz sat in Emery’s lap, being lavished with pats. She’d been rescued from the elf hat she’d been wearing earlier. It didn’t seem like I was going to get much time with my own dog until we left for Toronto tomorrow.

Meanwhile, Chase and Liam were arguing over whose gift cards were whose, despite getting the identical amount from various retailers. Joe watched them argue back and forth with amusement. Were they putting on a show just for him?

Surrounded by piles of crumpled wrapping paper, I leaned into Theo’s body as he thumbed through his phone. His expression was serious for the lighthearted Christmas morning we’d had so far.

“What are you looking for?” My voice was low with the din of sibling arguments in the background.

“I’m rechecking the game schedule, trying to figure out a way we could sneak back for another visit before the season ends in May, but hopefully June.” His eyes focused on the screen, his forehead creased in concentration. “It’s just the way the games are laid out, the ones with a little more time in between the series seem to be all on the East Coast.”

He locked his phone and tossed it on the couch beside him. “Every time I come home, I remember how much I like being here. Some of the memories are hard, of course.” His voice was rough with emotion, but he kept his volume almost to a whisper.

Theo looked at the mantle, where photos of his mom and the family were displayed. “When I’m not here, it’s easy to put a lot of things before them.” He nodded at his family. “But I’ve missed a hell of a lot, Rocky. There’s got to be a way to get back here more. I just haven’t found it yet.” He rubbed his face with his hand that wasn’t holding on to me.

My stomach clenched with an uncomfortable emotion, witnessing Theo struggling. I wanted him to have everything that made him happy. It rankled that I couldn’t jump in and fix it for him.

As if he read my mind, Theo pulled back to meet my gaze and said, “It’s not on you to make it better, Ind. It’s huge that I can say aloud what’s bothering me. I haven’t had that in years.” He nodded at the mantle again, meaning his relationship with his mom.

Against my will, my eyes started to fill and threatened to overflow. I blinked rapidly to try to clear the overwhelming warmth running through my limbs. Gah! What was he doing to me?

He brought his hand up to my chin, directing my watery gaze back to him. “It’s more than enough that you’re here. Having you by my side just hearing me is the biggest help, okay?”

It was all I could do to nod. I didn’t trust my voice not to come out uneven, or worse, tears to start falling in earnest.

“Kids.” Joe stood up and went over to a side table, where he pulled something from its drawer. “Your mom and Gong Gong would have given me hell for forgetting to give you these on Christmas. It’s been years since we had the whole family together for the holiday, so this year, it feels extra important.” His smile was warm but sad.

I looked at the lai see he held in his hands, my heart giving another traitorous thump. Their mom had given me my very first lai see when Emery invited me over for Chinese New Year when we were six. I still had every red envelope I’d been given in a small wooden chest I kept on my dresser.

Alice couldn’t have known what it would mean to me to be included in their family traditions that first year, but she made sure I got a red envelope every year on my birthday.

He came back in front of the large sectional where we were all sitting. Joe set all but one envelope on the ottoman and stood in front of Emery, holding it out to her with both his hands.

Emery, in turn, reached up with both hands and a grin to receive it from her dad.

I surreptitiously opened my phone camera and snapped a picture of the two of them. The love they had for each other was clear in their eyes. I couldn’t stop the flash of my own father in my mind and thought how many light-years away I was from the Layne family traditions.

The sweet moment was interrupted by Liam. “Hey! How come she gets her lai see first?”

Theo sighed good-naturedly beside me, his body pressing more deeply against mine as he muffled a small chuckle.

Joe didn’t blink, giving Liam a quick look. “Because she’s my favorite child. Obviously.” He kept his expression completely deadpan as Liam’s mouth formed into an O shape.

Joe kept his face neutral while Emery took her red envelope with both hands. But he didn’t leave Liam hanging long before he turned and offered him a wink.

“Good one, Dad.” Theo nodded and called out from beside me. “ We’re just racking up the payback for all those years of pranks, Li.”

Like the mature adult he was, Liam kept his attention on his dad while putting his arm up and aiming a middle finger at Theo.

Picking up another envelope from the ottoman, Joe paused in front of Liam and held it out to him. “Li, you know parents don’t have favorites. Or rather, my favorite is whoever is giving me the least amount of headaches at any given moment.”

Chase elbowed Liam. “Then it’s really never been either of us. And he doesn’t know the half of the shit we’ve pulled.”

“What?” Joe’s spine straightened, stopping him from leaning down to give Liam his lai see.

Liam let out a bark of laughter so loud that it startled Giz from her nap on Emery’s lap. “True. They’ll never actually even the score, will they?”

Chase shook his head “no” with a smile.

That seemed to be all it took to settle Liam back into his mellow mood. The rest of us received our red envelopes without any more fanfare.

Joe returned to his recliner next to the couch, and his hands suddenly looked a bit restless in his lap.

“What is it, Dad?” Emery’s brow wrinkled in concern.

“God, I know you’re all adults, and it should be easier to say this. But turns out it isn’t.” Joe’s gaze landed on each of his children, still appearing hesitant. “Okay, I’m just going to come out with it… I’ve asked Sherri out on a date.”

Sherri was their long-time next-door neighbor and family friend. She’d been the one to stay with Theo’s siblings when Joe had to coach away games.

Joe’s words were met with a few seconds of silence. Theo’s thigh went rock hard with tension under my hand. I gently rubbed my hand back and forth across it, offering my silent support.

Once he had a chance to process the news, I would be there for him if he wanted to talk about it.

All the Yao-Miller siblings started talking at once.

“Way to go, Dad!” Theo grinned.

“Oh, Dad’s going to finally get some. It’s about time!” Chase said with a sleazy wink.

“That’s amazing, Dad. I’m so happy for you.” Though Emery aimed a reassuring smile toward her father, the slight hitch in her voice gave away her uncertainty. From experience, I knew that Emery was upset but didn’t want to take away from her dad’s moment.

“Is this another thing everyone knew about but me?” Liam groaned.

The Yao-Miller patriarch sagged back into his seat with relief. “Really?” he asked. “You kids are okay with this? I mean, it’s happening. But I’ll feel a lot better if you all are on board.”

Liam, complaint forgotten, held out his fist for his dad to bump. “Go for it, Dad. You gotta keep those pipes clean, eh? All those years of no action can’t be good for your prostate.”

A chorus of gags and groans—including my own—rang out at Liam’s statement.

“Too far, bro.” Chase shoved his twin’s shoulder. “ Way too far.”

Liam just shrugged, a satisfied look on his face at being back on top of this morning’s shenanigans.

“What’s for breakfast?” He looked around at all of us as if he hadn’t just grossed us all out with his inappropriate words.

Even if food was the last thing I could think about at the moment, I was glad to be surrounded by the love this family had for each other.

I let myself picture what years of this would look like, if I could really be part of something so special.

With the din of the siblings arguing over who held the record for grossing out the family the most, I burrowed further into Theo as he debated, feeling more content than I could ever remember.

Back in Toronto a few nights later, I already wanted to be back with Theo’s family.

Theo and I hadn’t even considered heading out for New Year’s Eve. Both of us avoided anything that had to do with over-the-top hype. And December 31 felt like the ultimate way to spend a fortune to have a crap time.

The combination of my family’s name and his career made it so that neither of us had a low-key outing in years. We always had to be on guard, so it was nice just to have the time to ourselves.

“Couldn’t cook that,” Theo commented as we lazed on my couch with Giz. We were currently on our second season of Somebody Feed Phil . It had become our preferred pastime to watch chefs from all over the world make things that neither of us could ever hope to make whenever we had more than one night when Theo wasn’t on the road.

We still hadn’t had time to master the basics in the kitchen.

“Any resolutions, Rocky?”

My nonprofit and my list came to mind as they tended to when one calendar year ended. But for the first time, my ambitions were being balanced out by the here and now—by the man I was curled up against and had been for all these months.

I’d have to give it more consideration. It was too much for my post-Yao-Miller-Christmas-chaos brain to compute at the moment. I let those thoughts slip away as I buried my face in Theo’s chest.

“Nah. Not this year.” I went with the easiest answer. “What about you? ”

The deliciously taut muscles in Theo’s chest and abs expanded and contracted on a sigh.

“Balance,” he said finally. “Not letting hockey take over everything until all I can see is the next game or the next win or getting to the playoffs.” He kissed the top of my head, just brushing his lips lightly across my hair.

I smiled at the thought that we both felt the need for balance. It was amazing to be in tune that way. I hoped I gave him the steadiness that he gave me every day. But I was too chickenshit to ask him.

I opened my mouth in an attempt to be brave, but my words were cut off by the annoying-as-hell sound of my phone ringing.

My stomach flooded with unease. There was only one person I knew who would call me on New Year’s Eve. Or this close to midnight any day of the year, really.

My father.

Every cell in my body begged me to ignore his call like I had done the last three times my phone rang with his number on my screen. Going to holiday parties with my mother might have kept him busy this past week, but I knew I couldn’t avoid him any longer.

“Don’t answer it.” Theo squeezed me further into his side, as if he could insulate me from whatever had made my muscles tense.

“I have to,” I whispered. I’d already taken too big of a risk putting my father off for this long.

I lifted my phone to my ear. The last thing I would ever do was let Theo hear the way my father spoke to me.

“Hello.”

“Indigo. I’m not sure what you’re playing at thinking that you can ignore my calls, but you’re sorely mistaken.” His disdain echoed down the line.

“My apologies, Father. Things have been hectic at work.” I bit my lip to avoid saying all the awful words that came to mind.

“Not accepted. I run a billion-dollar corporation with a multitude of subsidiaries. My schedule is quite a bit more than ‘hectic,’ Indigo. But I still answer the goddamn phone when I’m expected to.”

And that confirmed I had fucked up royally by putting him off for so long. My father thought profanity was vulgar and beneath him, so his use of “goddamn” signaled nothing good.

“I’m sorry.” My voice was quiet, my earlier unapologetic feelings now neatly cowed.

“You’re coming home. Tomorrow. Winston will meet you at the airport and bring you to my office. It’s urgent.” He carried on as if he hadn’t heard me.

“What? Why?” The air froze in my lungs, making it hard to force out the words.

“Well, if you had answered any of my previous attempts to contact you, you would know. As it stands, I don’t have the time to give you any information right now. In fact, I’m standing in the hallway of a ballroom, making this call between courses at the benefit your mother and I are sponsoring.” His tone had lost the heat of his rarely revealed anger at being ignored. He was back to his normal stone-cold tone of disappointment.

I kept silent. My mind churned with possibilities for what I would be walking into tomorrow. But I knew better not to ask.

“I swear, Indigo. If you just thought of someone other than yourself for a single moment in your life, life would be much easier.” With that parting thought, he hung up without a goodbye.

He was really angry with me. I couldn’t understand why. It wasn’t the first time I’d stretched the limit of his patience when he snapped his fingers for my obedience.

But this time seemed different in ways I couldn’t define.