Not A Chance (Heartstrings #2)

41. Indie

It was almost as if I was outside my body as my limbs moved out the door and shut it behind me. I still couldn’t believe what had just happened. My father had made it sound like a done deal.

A suffocating feeling in my chest formed. My dreams of making an important impact with my nonprofit plan felt further away than ever. What would it mean if I couldn’t help people the way I always wanted to? What if I couldn’t get out of this?

And Theo. My heart squeezed painfully. Everything we had was so far removed from the reality I faced.

“Indigo?” Julian’s quiet whisper ripped me from my mental haze.

“Um, I’m sorry, you were saying?” I hadn’t heard a word anyone said since we’d sat down at the brunch table.

A tolerant, possibly sympathetic, smile formed on his lips. “Never mind. It wasn’t important. Let’s talk about you. You’ve let me go on and on about work all week, and I realize we’ve hardly scratched the surface of what makes Indigo Layne tick.”

There will be no scratching of any kind, buddy.

I was still reeling from the fact that I was sitting at this table at all, surrounded by both sets of parents, who were all too happy to ignore how freaking insane this entire situation was.

I’d mistakenly called my mother after I’d left my father’s office several mornings ago.

“My god, Indigo. You interrupted my partners’ meeting for this ? Since you never call, I thought it was something important, like you or your father were in the hospital or something. I don’t know what you are going on about here. This is how things happen in our world. Do you think good matches just happen at random? These types of things take careful planning and care. Honestly, you should be grateful.”

“But…” I began.

“I don’t have time for this. If you insist on belaboring the point, we can do that when you’re not costing me one thousand dollars an hour.”

As I glanced at my parents across the table, so united in their goal of this merger, it was all too easy to picture myself and Julian in their place in twenty-five years. Would there be any shred of myself left in that future?

It would have been easier to get up and storm out of here if Julian had been an asshole. He wasn’t. He was polite and seemingly respectful. He didn’t talk over me. There was even a chance he seemed a smidgen less arrogant than the average twenty-something male in my parents’ social circles. He was also classically handsome and well-dressed.

I bet my parents liked him so much they wished they could just swap kids with the Fairbanks rather than deal with all the fuss of a wedding .

“Uh, well, I’ve spent the last few years figuring out what I wanted to do. Not very interesting at all. I really want to hear more about the intellectual property case you mentioned.” I arranged my facial features in an expression that hopefully appeared genuine.

“I see what you’re doing here.” Julian winked conspiratorially. “But you don’t need to worry. I was already interested before we even met this week.”

Barf. He thought I was fawning all over him to charm him in some way. Before I could consider a polite response, my phone buzzed from where I’d slid it between my leg and the chair.

“Um, would you excuse me for a moment? I just need a quick moment in the ladies’ room.”

“Of course.” Julian, with his perfectly molded etiquette, half stood as I got out of my chair.

Once I was safely around a corner at the back of the restaurant, I unlocked my phone.

Theo

Hey baby, I’ve been thinking about you non-stop. I have to admit I’m getting a little worried. I don’t like that you’re out there on your own and I still don’t really understand what’s going on. I’m glad you’re staying at the house, though.

I’d been staying in the Yao-Miller guest room all week. Emery had jumped at the chance to spend more time together so unexpectedly soon with us having left just last week.

Indie

I’m fine. Like I said, boring family stuff. It’s almost over and I’ll see you soon. Just out to brunch with my parents. Text you later? Love you.

Theo

I miss you. Love you.

I hoped and prayed that I would be able to weasel my way out of this marriage problem with limited drama.

For now, I had to survive the rest of this meal.

When I arrived back at Emery’s house, I was shocked to find Abbie and Emery sitting at the Yao-Millers’ kitchen table with three iced coffees in the middle of the table.

“Hi! Look who’s here!” Emery bounced a little in her seat.

“Hey, girl, what are you doing here! I thought you were spending this week down in LA with Aiden’s family?” I was surprised but thrilled to see Abbie, who’d been with Aiden’s family over Christmas. They weren’t supposed to be back yet.

Abbie stood for a quick hug after I reached the chair next to her.

“Something came up, and we’re back a bit early. I missed you so much.” She reached for my hand that rested on the table, giving it a quick squeeze.

Emery smiled happily at having all of us in the same room again. We’d all taken this for granted, being in the same city for so long, that moments like these had become precious.

“It sucks that you had to cut your visit short. Though I am really happy to see you.” I gave her a wide grin. “But I have to ask, I thought you had sworn off iced coffee for good?”

A mishap with an iced coffee during a team meeting had landed Abbie a promotion… and a boyfriend last spring.

“Well…” She toyed with the straw in her cup, a blush pinkening her cheeks. “Since it brought me the love of my life, I’d have to say it’s forgiven.”

As the other half of the reason for said mishap, I raised my eyebrows. “Oh! Does that mean I get some credit for your current heart-shaped pupils?”

It was true. Abbie had consistently looked more content and a hell of a lot more loved up since being with Aiden.

Emery stood quickly and went to the kitchen counter, returning with a… meat tenderizer and a cutting board?

“Um…” I looked between them. Abbie also stared at the kitchen utensil.

“This meeting will now come to order.” Emery used the mallet to gently tap the cutting board and then held it in her fist, resting the handle’s end on the table.

“I’m so confused. What are we meeting about?” I frowned. “And why do you need a weapon for it?”

“This is not a weapon. It’s a gavel,” Emery replied.

Abbie reached over and gently encouraged Emery to put down the steampunk justice mallet. “Em. We get it, sweetie. We’re going to be serious here.”

Emery pouted a little but released her accessory. She looked over at Abbie and nodded.

“So, despite that start,” Abbie began while Emery huffed, “this is a bit of an intervention. For you, Indie. But in a we-love-you-so-much kind of way.”

I laughed. “An intervention for what?”

“This whole arranged-marriage business your stupid father is trying to pull!” The words burst from Emery’s mouth, her volume at least double that of Abbie’s.

“What? Nobody’s getting married here. I’m just biding my time until I can think of a way out of it that will make my father think it was his idea.” I shrugged, not mentioning my last few sleepless nights where I came up with exactly zero plans.

“That! That’s what I’m talking about!” Emery jabbed her finger into the table for emphasis. “You’re about to bide your time into an engagement if you’re not careful.”

I sighed. Emery was right. I needed help, and here were the two women I respected and valued most in the world.

“You’re right.” I nodded at Emery. “Can you help me figure out how to handle this?”

Twin expressions of surprise looked back at me.

“Oh my god. Do you know that this is the first time you’ve ever asked me for anything? I love you so much, Ind. Thank you for letting us be there for you the way you’ve been there for us all these years.” Abbie’s eyes welled with tears.

Whoa. A tidal wave of emotion washed over me. I’d never wanted to ask for anything because I hated feeling like a burden. I’d always believed that it was my responsibility to take care of the few people I loved without asking for anything in return. I thought that’s what being a good friend meant.

Had I denied them the ability to reciprocate their support by pretending I could handle everything on my own?

“It’s not that we think you need the help, babe,” Emery added. “But why should you have to do everything by yourself? We’re here for you. You’ve got Theo now. Hell, my entire family loves you like you’re our own. We’re going to have your back.

“Speaking of Theo, what does he have to say about this mess?” Abbie injected quietly, her gaze sympathetic. They know me well enough to guess I haven’t told Theo anything.

Shit. That worry about being a burden was just popping up all over the place.

“That too!” Emery pointed at both Abbie and me this time. “It’s not like I’m rushing to call him up and spill all your secrets. But that brother of mine—my nicest brother, as you know—is in love with you. He’s all the way in Toronto moping around your apartment with only a small, practically hairless pup for a companion, not knowing what to think.”

I threw up my hands in front of me as if I could stop the correctness of their words before the sounds reached me. Unfortunately, physics didn’t work that way, and I heard them loud and clear.

“Actually, he’s on his way to Dallas tonight. So he’ll be moping there, if he is at all. And Giz will be with my boss and his wife. But fine, you’re right. He doesn’t know. But he would be on the next plane out here beating his perfectly muscled caveman chest if he heard what my father was up to.”

“So?” Emery said, angling her head inquisitively.

“ So he has this little hiccup called the contract he signed with the Tempests, and he’s not allowed to miss games. I don’t want him making any decisions that will affect his career based on me. It’s his dream, and I refuse to put him in a situation where he might make a choice he will later regret.” My traitorous eyes were slightly blurry as they filled.

“That’s really sweet, Ind.” Abbie reached across the table once more and turned her palm up, letting it sit between us. She knew I didn’t always want the touchy-feely kind of comfort, but I placed my hand over hers, taking her up on her offer this time. “And you know how much I hate saying anything you don’t want to hear, but are you worried that he would choose you over his career and then regret it? ”

“Of course he’d choose you!” Emery’s tone left no room for doubt. “And he wouldn’t regret it. He’s lucky to be with you. And he knows that.”

“But what if he didn’t? I don’t think I could handle that for the second time.” My voice was quiet.

“What do you mean, second time?” Emery’s gaze sharpened.

“I kind of kissed him on Christmas when we were nineteen.” I let go of Abbie’s hand, covering my face. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have. Nothing happened.”

“This calls for the gavel.” Emery picked up the utensil and banged it on the cutting board. “So that”—she pointed with the mace-like cooking tool—“is why you stopped coming to stay for the holidays since then?”

I dropped my arms to the table and nodded, now worried I’d have a second Yao-Miller sibling upset with me.

“Aw. That’s really beautiful. You took a chance at love.” Abbie’s smile was dreamy.

“Yeah, and got my heart beat into submission with the equivalent of that thing.” I pointed at the meat mallet. “That took me years to get past. Now that Theo and I are together, I can’t do anything that will force him to choose between the things he wants.”

“Girl, we’re going to have to have regular tree house meetings when you get home again. You are just full of secrets, aren’t you?” Emery joked, thankfully lightening the mood a little.

“I promise, you know my only two now. Pretending to date Wells in college when I was really studying in the library on weekends and the Theo kiss. That’s it, Your Honor.” I lifted my right hand as if swearing to my statement.

“Fine. But seriously, you aren’t going to sit back and let this archaic setup your father is arranging get in the way of your relationship with Theo, are you? You love him.” She gently put the mallet down again.

“How do you know I love him?” I had barely admitted it to Theo. I hadn’t been brave enough to tell my friends how deeply I was invested in my relationship.

“If you think a single thing is a secret in this house, you’re dreaming, my friend. The twins and I were sitting at the top of the staircase while you and Theo exchanged ‘I love yous’ on Christmas morning. Chase had a bag of treats, keeping Giz quiet.” She grinned while Abbie broke out in giggles.

Embarrassed, I actually blushed for the first time in forever. My cheeks heated, and little prickles formed at the back of my neck as I thought about the three of them, plus dog, eavesdropping on the most important moment of my life.

“You guys are the worst ! I’m not even sure I can be associated with you anymore.” My tone was horrified, but I was only half-mad.

“Welcome to the family!” Emery cheers’d me with her ice coffee cup. “Plenty more privacy invasions where that came from.” She grinned.

“Not that that wasn’t the best thing I’ve heard all year,” Abbie laughed, as if it wasn’t like less than a week into the new year, “but to bring us back to the task at hand. I hate to push you on this, but I don’t think you can sit on this thing your father is trying to do. You might lose Theo in the process. Is your inheritance really worth that?” Her expression had lost all its mirth.

“No,” I answered immediately and then gasped. Shit! I hadn’t even had to think about it. Theo was more important than any previous dream, I realized. A life with him was my new dream.

“But what about all the kids I could help? If not me, then who?” My heart felt heavy with selfishness in choosing love over making a difference to the kids I’d witnessed needing more help.

“Does it have to be all or nothing?” Emery asked, settling her elbows on the table and propping her chin on her hands. “You’ve been a volunteer tutor since high school. What is the best thing about that?”

“That’s easy. Seeing a kid break through an obstacle that they thought they couldn’t.” My reply was instantaneous.

Emery nodded. “So is dumping ten million dollars into this huge undertaking the only way to help kids do that? What about teaching?”

“Yes!” Abbie practically vibrated in her seat. “You would be an amazing teacher! You’re sooo patient with the kids. Not to mention, you have that effortless ‘cool’ factor that kids just eat up. Just by being yourself.”

“Teaching?” I hadn’t ever considered it before. Something warm expanded in my chest, relaxing my tense muscles and allowing my breath to come a little easier.

What was I really trying to prove by being so stuck on this one idea? Did I really need my inheritance to make a difference?

You’re trying to prove you’re not your parents while still trying to impress them at the same time.

Oh god, I was, wasn’t I? That thought made me sick. My parents didn’t even care about doing good in the world. They used charities as tax write-offs. It stung more than a little that even after a lifetime of never being there for me, I still secretly hoped for their approval.

And now, they wanted to use me as a tool to further their ambitions with Robert Fairbank’s senate campaign.

“Shit, you’re right.” I scrubbed my face with my hands. “I gotta go. I need to confront my father and tell him that there is no way in hell that I’m going along with this any longer. What was I thinking this week?”

Abbie gave me a soft smile. “It’s pretty hard to say no to our parents, even when they haven’t treated us well. My therapist says it is totally natural to still want their approval. But I think you’ve found something you want more than that now, right?”

I nodded, unlocking my phone to order a rideshare. I had to deal with this right now.

She was right. I wanted Theo more than anything.

I let myself into my parents’ house, pleased that they hadn’t changed the codes. I didn’t feel the need to give my father any warning of my arrival.

There was no stopping me now that I was sure of what I wanted. I didn’t stop to knock on his office door, knowing he’d be working since it was early evening.

The sound of the door had him looking up from his computer, an annoyed frown on his face.

“Indigo. What are you doing here?” He leaned back in his chair, his arms crossed.

“I’m not doing it,” I spat out angrily.

I could feel my heartbeat in my throat, almost like I could choke on it. Not once in my life had I talked back to my father. First, I kept myself under the radar so that I could survive unnoticed until I was old enough to move out on my own. And for the last seven years, I’d sat in this office four times a year, letting him criticize even the most inconsequential things in my life.

But I was done.

“What exactly aren’t you doing?” His tone was sharp, warning me to tone down my attitude.

“I’m not going along with this insane scheme of yours to gain political favors. I won’t be seeing Julian again. Hell, you probably sent me to Toronto just so I wouldn’t hear any of the gossip about this so-called engagement you cooked up with Julian’s family.” I crossed my arms and stared back at him, letting my feelings of distaste and betrayal bleed into my expression.

“Indigo, I do not have time for you to have a tantrum. You will be at that fundraiser in two days. Then, once you finish out your contract in Toronto, you’ll attend any other function Julian requires you at, period. Our family will be joined with the Fairbanks.”

Before I could answer, a soft knock sounded against the office door.

“What now?” my father called out.

The door opened just enough for Angelina to pop her head in. “Excuse me, Mr. Layne. There is a gentleman here…”

The door was pushed open all the way before I could process who was behind it.

Theo. I couldn’t believe it. Was he appearing before my eyes because I’d missed him so much that I was imagining things now?

“Theo?” I whispered. “How?”

He made his way into the room, ignoring my father completely, before gathering me into a tight hug.

“Emery. I came straight from the airport,” he explained.

“Thank you.” I squeezed him back.

“Rocky.” He spoke quietly into my ear, his lips sending shivers through my body from where they grazed my skin. “You don’t need me here. But I had to be. I’m always going to have your back. Please don’t leave me in the dark again.” His tone was rough with emotion.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to do, but I do now. Wait for me?” I moved my hands to his jaw so that I could bring his mouth to mine for a soft kiss.

“Always.” He leaned back to offer me a wink.

“Excuse me. Who the hell are you?” My father stood behind his desk now, incensed .

Shit. I had totally forgotten where we were for a second. Such was the power of Theo Yao-Miller’s spell.

“I’m here for Indie,” Theo stated.

Theo stepped back from me, mouthing, “You got this,” and went to lean against the wall by the now closed office door, crossing his arms over his chest. Gone was the soft side of Theo that he only showed around me and his family. Instead, the formidable competitor who was used to eighty-mile-an-hour pucks flying in his direction stared my father down.

“This is Theo. My boyfriend. Who I’m in love with.” I raised my chin defiantly.

“Love? You’re joking,” my father scoffed. “You think that changes anything? It doesn’t. You will go through with this engagement to unite our family with the Fairbanks.”

A choking sound came from behind me. I chanced a glance back at Theo, whose eyebrows were aiming for his hairline, his face a picture of shock but not anger.

“Sorry,” I mouthed, putting all the emotions I felt for Theo into my gaze, hoping he would understand I was about to get us out of here.

I turned back to my father and opened my mouth to speak, but he cut me off.

“If you and Julian want to discuss matters”—he flipped a dismissive hand at Theo—“then that is your business. But you will live up to the expectations of this family.”

“No,” I said, not backing down.

“Do I really have to go through all the ways I can make your life difficult in getting your inheritance you want so badly? Julian is even willing to humor your altruistic tendencies.” He spoke like wanting to help people was a disease I was afflicted with.

“Julian won’t have to put up with anything. He can find himself some other woman whose goals are similar to his.” My father opened his mouth to speak, but I kept talking. “You can keep my fucking inheritance. I don’t want it anymore. Is that what you want to hear? You don’t even give a damn about me—you never have. You don’t even care about the money; it’s just a tool you used to keep me under your thumb all these years. Well, I’m done. If you want to make it difficult for me to access my inheritance, be my guest and call my lawyer directly. I’m done with this family, the Layne name, and you.”

When he didn’t respond right away, his face beet red in anger or shock, I knew I’d gotten my point across.

I turned and walked to his office door, offering my hand to Theo, who thankfully took it.

As we crossed the threshold of his office, I tossed the final words I would probably ever speak to him over my shoulder. “Goodbye, Father. I hope the ten million was worth it. Good luck explaining everything to the Fairbanks.”

Not that I thought he would miss me or feel a real loss at my departure from their lives, but I had to remind him one last time that it was his own choices that brought us here.

Let him be the one to clear up the shitshow he’d created.