Not So Easy (The NOT Series Book 4)

Chapter 17

“You really do look nice,”I said as he buckled in.

“I’m glad you think so. I haven’t dressed for a date in a long time. This is the third shirt I put on.” Motioning with his thumb to the back seat, he added, “My sport coat is back there because I was sweating too much to put it on.”

Knowing I wasn’t the only one nervous helped a lot. “I didn’t think you had it in you.”

“Had what in me?” he asked as we rolled into motion.

“The ability to get nervous. You’re always so calm and unaffected.”

Calvin kept his eyes straight ahead. “Growing up in chaos teaches you to regulate your emotions. Or so I read somewhere.”

Tiptoeing into the topic, I asked, “Do you have any good memories? Any moments when you got to relax and be a kid?”

His blinker ticked as old school RB played softly from the radio. “Some. A couple times Mom went to rehab we landed with Great-Aunt Tina. She lived on the edge of town down in Canonsburg, in an area where the nearest neighbors were maybe a quarter mile away. I was so used to houses being on top of each other and playing in the streets that having that much dirt and grass to run on took some getting used to.”

“How old were you?”

He tilted his head in thought. “Around six the first time, and close to nine the second.”

In my memories, he was always around when I stayed at Bammy’s. Always part of the crowd, though maybe we weren’t out running around that young. Surely not at six, but at nine I know there were days all the kids gathered for freeze tag or kick the can.

“I don’t remember you ever being gone.”

“I doubt you would have when we were six, but the later stay happened in the winter. Right after Christmas. There probably wasn’t much happening where you’d have a reason to miss me.”

Doing the math, I figured out what year that would have been and struggled to remember any detail from the time.

“Trevor’s birthday,” I said.

Calvin brought the car to a stop at a light along Carson Street. “Trevor Stockton?”

“Yes. That was the year he had a birthday party at the skate rink and you weren’t there.” The memory was so vivid. “I kept asking and no one would tell me where you went.”

Brown eyes cut my way. “You remember that?”

“Not until just now. Mrs. Drummond finally told me you were visiting family, but you’d be back soon.”

“I didn’t think anyone noticed.”

“I did.” Maybe I’d instinctively known more than I realized. The memory of being worried about him felt as real as if I was experiencing the feeling right then. “I’m glad you came back, but at the same time, I’m sorry you had to. If that makes sense.”

Calvin’s warm hand settled on mine and our fingers intertwined. “I’m glad I came back, too.”

As if by osmosis, his calm seeped into my body and all the nerves went away. We rode in silence, his thumb sliding gently over the back of my hand, and a new word came to mind.

Safe.

With Calvin, I would always be safe. How could that ever be a bad thing?

By the timeour food came, I’d shared all the dress pics the girls sent to my phone, set up a time to put eyes on this mysterious Speakeasy room, and lost a debate about which of our high schools was better. Calvin had valid points, and in the end I had to admit their indoor pool surpassed our cafeteria coffee bar, but not by much.

Though he was less familiar with Japanese cuisine, Calvin was game to try new things. Not that his marinated beef tips were all that adventurous, but I’d ordered fresh shrimp caramelized with ginger and he didn’t hesitate when I offered a bite. He’d also tasted the spicy edamame appetizer I picked, which led him to down his entire glass of water. But still. He’d tried the dish despite stating that he didn’t like spicy foods, and I appreciated that.

“Can I ask you a question?” he said.

“You just did.”

He arched a brow. “Seriously. Have your parents changed their minds about you buying the house? I expected your dad to want to come see the progress.”

I reached for my wine glass. “We’re still avoiding the subject. I think once they see it done they’ll change their minds. I hope so, anyway. If not, that’s less entertaining I have to do.”

Realistically, I knew they’d eventually come see the house and be impressed with what we did to it, but that didn’t mean they’d change their opinion on whether I should have bought it at all. In their minds, Bammy’s neighborhood wasn’t worth investing in, and that made me sad.

“Let him know. I’d be happy to show him around,” Calvin said. “Maybe seeing it will change his mind.”

There he went again trying to make my life easier. The house was the fixer-upper, not me.

“If someone asked you to describe me, what would you say?”

He stopped the process of cutting his steak to give me a questioning look. “You mean what you look like?”

Shaking my head, I set down my fork and sat back. “No, me as a person. How do you see me as a person?”

The fact that he took his time before answering proved he was a smarter man than most. I wasn’t one to give tests, but if Calvin saw me as some charity case, incapable of handling my own life, then we wouldn’t be taking this any further.

Setting down his own silverware, he wiped his mouth on his napkin. “You’re smart, ambitious, independent, and surprisingly sentimental. A woman who knows what she wants and goes after it.”

Not a bad answer. “That’s?—”

“You’re also stubborn as hell,” he added, cutting me off, “and overly defensive.”

He should have stopped while he was ahead. “Anything else?”

“That’s enough for now.”

“For now?”

Pointing at my plate with his knife, he struggled to hide his grin. “Your shrimp is getting cold.” Making a well-timed subject change, he asked, “Have you thought about what to do with the extra cash?”

Since his description didn’t include damsel in distress or incompetent, I saw no reason not to move on. For now. But since talking with the girls on Sunday, I’d been too preoccupied with this date and the man across from me to think about the money.

“Not yet. Do you have any ideas?”

Calvin finished chewing a bite of steak before answering. “How do you feel about built-ins?”

“I’m open to them. Where?”

“Around the fireplace.”

The TV would be mounted above the fireplace, both due to the room being too small to put it anywhere else, and because I wanted to keep the mantel as the focal point. Shelves on each side could set it off nicely.

“That would be a good way to display some of the pictures found in the attic.” I already knew I wanted those featured somewhere, but hadn’t decided how to do it.

“We can also upgrade your new closet. You picked out a basic design, but with the extra money, we can take that up a notch.”

The man was speaking my language. “You’ve put thought into this, haven’t you?”

He shrugged in his typical it’s nothing way. “I’m your contractor. I need to be ready if and when you ask for my input.”

Feeling brave, I tested the waters. “Are you just my contractor?” For him, this could be nothing more than a couple of friends sharing a meal. I needed to know where I stood.

Calvin picked up his wine and swirled the dark liquid around the glass. “That’s up to you.”

Not an answer. “Do you want to be more than just my contractor?”

He set the wine down and clasped his hands in front of his face, elbows on the table. “I’ve liked you since I was thirteen years old, Donna. Yeah, I want to be more than just your contractor. The question is, what do you want?”

This was typically where I’d toss out a snide comment, slam my walls into place, and make a run for it. Only I didn’t want to do that. Not this time. Which scared me more than anything.

“I liked you, too,” I blurted out.

Calvin’s brow furrowed. “You what?”

“Back then. I liked you, too.”

By his reaction, this was a shock. “In middle school? You liked me?”

Nodding, I sighed. “All the way into high school. I must have written my name as Donna Hopkins about a thousand times in my notebook.”

Jerking back, disbelief covered his face. “You did not.”

“I did too.”

“I… Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

He crossed his arms. “I thought you couldn’t stand me.”

I cut into a shrimp hard enough to scratch the plate. “I thought you couldn’t stand me.”

Seconds passed in silence until Calvin started to chuckle, then roll into a full laugh. “We’re idiots.”

“Hey, speak for yourself,” I said, but his laughter was infectious. “We were kids, that’s all. Clueless kids.”

“We weren’t kids that day we measured for your deck. I confessed my old crush, but you didn’t mention yours.” He loaded a bite onto his fork. “Not cool to leave me hanging like that.”

Confessing wasn’t my strong suit. “As you said earlier, I’m stubborn as hell, remember? I wasn’t ready to come clean that day.”

“And now?” he said, watching me.

“Now what? I just admitted I liked you.”

“Liked? As in used to but not anymore?”

Oh, that’s what he was asking. “Liked as in I liked you back then, and then I didn’t like you for a long time, and now I like you again.”

His satisfaction was obvious. “Was that so hard?”

“Yes.”

Calvin laughed again. “To think. We could have been an old married couple by now.”

Time to reel this back in. “There’s no way to know that. We probably would have broken up by the end of high school and never spoken again.”

After setting his utensils on the plate he pushed it away. “Do you really believe that?”

This time I was taking the fifth. “Where are you taking me for dessert?”

“What do you want?”

Thankfully, my mouth was full so I couldn’t slip and say the first thing that came to mind.

Around a bite of shrimp, I said, “How about ice cream?”

He moved the napkin from his lap to the table. “We can do that.”

The night ended much differentlythan how it started. The ice cream shop was only a block from the restaurant so we’d walked down, hand in hand like the real couple we were quickly becoming. When he first took my hand, my body tensed, but then he gave it a squeeze and flashed me a smile, knowing exactly how to calm me.

Within half a block, I’d relaxed completely. His palm against mine felt right, as if he always should have been there beside me. I wasn’t ready to contemplate a happily ever after, but this was nice. Comfortable. So I did my best to let the doubts and fears go. The faint echo of panic danced at the back of my brain, ever present and ready to trigger my flight mode. Shutting that down was going to take more than one dinner date.

This was still progress, and that was enough for now.

“Did you have a good time?” he asked as we made our way back to the car at a leisurely pace.

The night was warm and the scent of kabobs floated around us as we passed one of my favorite Lebanese restaurants. “I did. Thank you for dinner and the ice cream. I’ll have to do an extra hour on the treadmill this week, but it was totally worth it.”

“You’re welcome. That’s one plus about working construction. Keeps me in shape.” Calvin patted his stomach. “I’ll move a few extra two by fours this week to work off that double chocolate crunch.”

“I still can’t believe you ate that whole thing.” He’d ordered the biggest sized cone they had. “How are you not sick right now?”

“Iron gut,” he replied. “Been that way since I was a kid. When Mom was out of it, I’d have to make dinner from whatever I could find in the house. You don’t want to know some of the stuff I threw together.”

“At what age was that?”

He looked off in the distance. “Started around Kindergarten, I guess.”

I stopped walking, which pulled him to a halt. “You were making your own dinner when you were five?”

“A kid has to eat.” He tugged me back into motion. “Don’t start feeling sorry for me. It is what it is. I survived.”

I may not have been the warm and fuzzy type, but I still had a heart, and thinking about Calvin as a little boy, hungry and desperately digging through a likely empty pantry, made me sad and furious at the same time.

“You deserved better,” I offered, aware that he wouldn’t appreciate my pity.

“That might be true, but I learned to take care of myself and I’ve been doing it ever since. That’s not such a bad thing.”

Yes, it was. No child should have to learn that lesson so early.

“Does that mean you’re a good cook now?” I asked.

His grip on my hand loosened and I sensed the tension leave his body. “I know my way around a kitchen.”

Without thinking, I said, “Good. Then I won’t have to do all the cooking.”

He turned my way. “You won’t have to do all the cooking when?”

Dang it. How did I let that slip? “Just… You know. In the future.”

“So we have a future?”

Not much of one if he kept poking at me. “I already admitted I like you. Don’t get pushy.”

Calvin kissed the back of my hand. “I like you, too.”

If his aim was to make me a puddle on the sidewalk, he was doing a fine job of it. Time to change the subject.

“I meant to ask you, how much of my furniture can I bring when I move in? Just the bedroom, right?”

The tension returned. “We’ll take a look at that once we get closer to the date.”

Was he still bothered that I was moving in early? “I told you I’ll stay out of the way. I won’t even be there most of the time.”

“We’ll make it work.” He pressed the key fob to unlock the doors as we approached the car. “Don’t worry about it.”

He was the one who seemed worried. “I’m not worried.”

“That’s good.” Calvin opened the passenger door, then stepped back. As we’d done at the start of the night, he went around the car as I buckled in. Once inside, he said, “Is there anything else you want to do?”

I checked the time on the center screen. “I have an early appointment so it’s a little late to do anything else.”

Nine o’clock wasn’t late, but I was learning how to read him. Something shifted when I asked about my furniture, and if I pushed the topic, there was a chance the night would end with a fight. Conflict didn’t bother me, but in this case there was a danger of undoing the progress we’d made.

Giving him an opening, I said, “Are we good?”

The Mercedes slid into gear and he checked the side mirror before pulling away from the curb. “Yeah, why?”

The chill coming from his side of the car was why, but if he wasn’t ready to let me in, I wouldn’t push.

“Nothing,” I said, focusing on the lights outside my window. “Forget I asked.”

Calvin didn’t reply and we made the drive to my house in silence. Thankfully, my building wasn’t far. When we arrived, he parked in the same space as before, and though I expected a brief goodbye, he opened his door and came around to open mine.

Still in silence, we walked to the large glass door and I pulled out my key card. “Thanks again for dinner.”

“Thanks for going with me. I had a good time.”

This felt as if we were back in middle school and neither of us knew what to do next. Screw that. I wasn’t a love sick teenager anymore.

“What happened back there?”

He slipped his hands into his pockets. “What do you mean?” I waited him out. “Right. I’ll explain on Friday.”

Back to this again. “Why can’t you tell me now?”

“Because that would ruin it.”

The man was making no sense. “Ruin what?”

“You’ll see on Friday.”

My patience was wearing thin. “What exactly are you up to?”

Calvin took my hands in his. “Trust me, okay? You’ll understand everything on Friday.”

“Did something go wrong at the house and you don’t want me to know about it?”

“No, ma’am.”

“Then what is it?”

“You’ll see?—”

“—on Friday,” I cut in. “I don’t like being kept in the dark.”

He nodded. “Noted.”

Maybe he’d gone ahead and done the built-ins before asking and brought them up tonight to get my reaction. Or maybe the house wasn’t as far along and he didn’t want to tell me how bad it would be when I moved in. But then why wait until Friday? Maybe he was trying to get as much done as possible before then.

“I’ve told you before I don’t care how far along things are when I move in. You’ve finished the bathroom, and that’s all I need. You can tell me if the project is behind.”

Displaying his usual patience, he kept his mouth shut.

“I’ll find out on Friday.” I flicked my key card against the call box and pulled the door open. “Guess I’ll see you then.”

Before I could stomp off inside, warm hands cradled my cheeks and he drew closer. “It’ll be worth it, I promise,” he whispered, close enough for me to feel his breath on my lips. Then he pressed his mouth to mine in a kiss that was slow, gentle, full of promise, and ended way too soon.

When he pulled away, I leaned forward, instinctively wanting to maintain the connection. Body reeling, I opened my eyes to find a soft expression on his face. His thumb brushed my lips before he backed away.

“See you in a few days.”

Mind empty, I watched him walk back to the car and get in. I was still lingering in the open doorway as the Mercedes disappeared out of sight. Only then did I snap back to reality.

“Wow.”

“You gonna close that?” came a voice from inside. “Don’t you hear the alarm?”

I didn’t even notice the blaring siren until she pointed it out. Quickly closing the door, I yelled, “Sorry!” Seconds later, I was inside my apartment, back pressed to the door and lips still tingling. One kiss shouldn’t have short-circuited my brain like this.

I was so screwed.