Not So Easy (The NOT Series Book 4)

Chapter 19

“What’s going on?”Megan asked as she stepped into Josie’s living room.

“We’ll talk about it once everyone is here,” our hostess said as I sat on the couch in silence.

I couldn’t remember the last time I’d called for one of our meetings, but then I hadn’t needed one in years. That was the blessing of being a single, self-employed woman. Not a lot of personal or emotional conundrums that required what amounted to a girlfriend 911. How had I forgotten that?

Calvin Hopkins made me forget. The jerk.

Lindsey and Becca entered seconds later as Josie grabbed a pop from the fridge for Megan. I kept my eyes on the view out the window, not yet ready to reveal how much I’d cried over the last few hours.

Thank goodness I’d cleared my schedule for the rest of the day. Photographing happily engaged couples when you’d just had your heart shredded into pieces was never fun. Or so I assumed, as I’d never tried it.

Josie grabbed two more bottles of pop for the new arrivals, and dropped a box of tissues on the coffee table in front of me.

“Oh, no,” said Megan. “Is it that bad? Not Calvin.”

I offered an empty laugh. “That’s right. Not Calvin. Not for me, anyway.”

“What happened?” Becca asked.

“I’m sorry I took you away from the baby.”

She waved my words away. “He’s in good hands with Jacob and Sophie, who loves any opportunity to spoil him rotten.”

“Did you and Calvin have a fight?” Lindsey asked. “Is he pushing back the renovation date even later?”

If only that was the problem.

“No, he’s moved it up to before I move in.” My friends exchanged confused glances. “I know that sounds like a good thing, but it isn’t.”

Josie sat on the edge of the cushion beside me. “I’m sorry, hon, but you’re going to have to explain a little more.”

With a deep sigh, I went back to the beginning. “When this whole thing started, all I wanted was to find a capable contractor who could put the house back together. Someone who could create what I saw in my head while staying on budget and within my timeframe.”

“And that was Calvin,” Megan said.

“I didn’t want to hire him, but he was the only one who didn’t tell me he was too busy, or bid twice what I had to spend.” Again, confusion reigned. “But he was too busy.”

“Too busy?” Lindsey repeated. “But you just said the job is ahead of schedule.”

“He had enough work for the summer. More than enough. Don’t you get it?” Four sets of wide eyes stared back blankly. “He didn’t need the work.”

Becca tilted her head. “You only hired him because you thought he needed the work? Did he tell you that?”

“No,” I had to admit. “And that’s not why I hired him, but I didn’t know he was making an exception for me when he took the job. In fact, he practically begged me to hire him.”

“Begged you?” Josie said. “So he pretended that he needed the job and you’re upset that he lied?”

Calvin hadn’t technically begged. He’d just been persistent. I obviously wasn’t explaining this right.

“The problem is that I thought one thing was happening when something totally different was happening. He didn’t lie, exactly, but he didn’t tell me he had multiple other jobs already booked and would have to stretch the crews thin to add mine to the schedule.”

“So you’re upset for the workers,” Megan said. “That does sound unfair to them.”

This was about more than the crew getting some overtime.

“I’m upset because I don’t like being considered a charity case. I especially don’t like people doing favors for me when I never asked them to, and I don’t want a man who thinks he has to save me all the time. I don’t need a hero. I need an equal. When Calvin made it his mission to throw this project into overdrive, without my input or permission, he crossed a line. He took over, putting me in the back seat, and I refuse to be patted on the head and taken care of like some incompetent princess.”

Finally grasping the issue, they all sat back at the same time.

“That is annoying,” Lindsey said. “He took over. How could he think that was okay?”

“I have no idea.”

He didn’t think was the only explanation I could come up with. From the start, I’d been clear about wanting to be involved in every aspect of the renovation. There were limits to what I could do. I knew that. But this wasn’t a matter of who did the heavy lifting. I wasn’t mad because he didn’t let me help put up a wall.

I was mad because he cut me out.

“When you say ahead of schedule,” Josie said, “how far ahead are we talking?”

I slouched back, hugging a baby-blue throw pillow against my chest. “It’s practically done.”

Megan said what the rest of them were thinking. “Isn’t that a good thing?”

How did I explain this? “You love playing softball, right?”

“Yes.”

“Think of it like your team is in the championship but someone told you the wrong time so when you show up the game is in the last inning. That would suck, right?”

Her face scrunched in disgust. “I’d be so mad.”

“Then you get it.” I made myself even sadder with the metaphor.

We sat in silence for several seconds until Becca said, “What are you going to do now?”

What could I do? “I can’t exactly take the house apart again and make them do it over.”

She shook her head. “You didn’t bring us here because of the house. What are you going to do about Calvin?”

Suddenly exhausted, I tugged at the pillow’s fringe. “There isn’t anything to do about him. The house will be finished before I move in. We’ll finalize the job and go our separate ways.”

Megan leaned her head on Lindsey’s shoulder. “That makes me sad. He had good intentions, right?”

She hadn’t been so quick to forgive when Ryan deceived her. They were together now, but only because Megan was extremely forgiving and the lie turned out to be more of a misunderstanding.

Not the case here.

“His intention was to take over and make himself the hero. What I wanted didn’t matter. He didn’t listen. Heck, he didn’t even ask. He put in a whole dang mural without even asking me. In my house.”

“There’s a mural in the house?” Lindsey asked.

“In the studio, yeah.”

“Mural means big,” Josie said. “How big are we talking?”

“An entire wall.” I could still see the cartoon version of teenage Donna as big as a bus staring back at me. “And it’s my face.” To my horror, none of them were able to hold in their laughter. “This isn’t funny.”

“Your face on a wall is kind of funny,” Becca said. It was ridiculous, is what it was. “Did you get a picture?”

Offended that they weren’t taking this seriously, I threw the pillow aside and bolted off the couch. “No, I didn’t. I’m happy I could give you all a good laugh. This is clearly a waste of time.”

Before I could reach the door, Josie caught my arm. “We’re sorry. Come back and we’ll behave.”

Reluctantly, I returned to my seat. “I don’t hate the mural,” I admitted. “I just hate that he did it without telling me. That’s my studio. I should be the one who decides what goes on the walls.”

Becca squeezed my knee. “I think he wanted to surprise you.”

“I don’t like surprises.”

“He knows that now, and I doubt he’ll make the mistake again.”

Of that, I was certain. “He won’t have the chance. I thought we were a team. I even thought he might be my person. You’ve all found yours, and even though I am totally fine being alone, for a minute there I thought I might not have to be.”

Josie bumped my shoulder with her own. “If it makes you feel any better, Lindsey is alone, too.”

The school teacher shot her a hard look. “By choice, and happily so.” To me she said, “You liking him that much was a big deal, and it sucks that he isn’t the guy you thought he was. I’m sorry, hon.”

Ever the optimist, Megan said, “Maybe if you talked to him.”

“We’ve been talking for months.” I leaned back feeling completely defeated. “If he wasn’t listening then, there’s no chance he’d hear me now.”

They patiently offered love and support as I went through my own pity party. Tears were shed, hugs given, and because they knew me better than anyone else on the planet, none of them suggested my person was still out there somewhere.

I hadn’t gone looking for Calvin. If anything, I’d been subconsciously avoiding him. Avoiding romance all together, and for good reason, obviously. I really thought he was different, which made me feel like even more of a fool. Why couldn’t men just be kind and supportive and sweet?

Calvin had convinced me he was all of those things, and then he turned me into a project just like the house. I didn’t need to be fixed or rescued. Respect and appreciation. That’s all I wanted. Was that really too much to ask?

Apparently, it was.

I was not looking forwardto this dinner.

Since I was exactly a month out from my official move in date on the house, I’d planned to bring the renovation up during Sunday dinner. I’d also invited Calvin and let my parents know he was coming. I hadn’t given a completely honest reason for bringing him along. He was the perfect person to explain to them how the neighborhood had changed, what we’d done to the house, and what the new value would be when everything was done.

A number significantly higher than what I’d paid for the place, including the renovation costs. Look at me with home equity.

Of course, there was the other reason. Calvin and I were dating, and I felt secure enough to break that news to Mom and Dad once they’d met the man he was today, not the kid from fifteen years ago. Except the man he was didn’t turn out to be the right one after all, and finding that out before declaring him my boyfriend to my parents was the one plus in this situation.

Except none of this felt like a plus.

Calvin and I hadn’t talked since the day of the fight. No texts. No calls. Nothing. I half expected him to send an apology message, but he clearly didn’t see himself in the wrong since no such message came. Further proof that I didn’t know him at all. And he definitely didn’t know me.

I did send one message, but only to confirm that I was fine with the built-ins around the fireplace. He hadn’t replied, but I could see that he’d read the message. Not the most mature or professional choice, but whatever. The sooner this was over and he was out of my life, the better.

“Hey there, baby,” Dad said, dropping a kiss on my cheek as I walked into the kitchen. “You remembered the potato salad.” Happier to see the side dish than his own daughter, he took the bowl and went straight to the silverware drawer for a fork.

“That’s for dinner,” Mom said.

“I’m just taking a bite.” The bite was big enough that he had to strain to get it all in his mouth. Once the food was in, his big brown eyes rolled with bliss before he gave me a thumbs up.

“Is Calvin on his way?” Mom asked, handing me the plates to set the table.

“He can’t make it.” My voice cracked and I was grateful to be facing away from her.

Except nothing got past my mother. She followed me into the dining room and cornered me next to the buffet. “Why can’t he make it? Did you have a fight?”

Lying was pointless. “We had a disagreement on something with the house.”

Technically not a lie. I attempted to avoid eye contact lest she see right through me.

Long slender fingers clasped my chin and forced me to meet her gaze. “This is more than the house. What’s going on?”

Time for a diversion. “If we don’t get back in there, he’s going to eat all of the potato salad.”

Raising her voice, Mom said, “Rodney Sinclair Bradford, you better put down that fork.” The sound of silverware landing in the stainless steel sink echoed from the kitchen. “Now, tell me what happened.”

There was no getting around it, so I gave a quick summary.

“When we originally started the project, Calvin said the work would take until at least October. He also led me to believe that he needed the work when he bid for the job. He didn’t need the work, and he decided to push the project into overdrive to finish before I move in.”

Mom blinked. “So the house will be finished early and you won’t have to live in a construction zone?”

“That’s right.”

She stepped back and tilted her head. “This is a problem?”

“To get the house done, he pushed the crew to work overtime, giving me preferential treatment I didn’t ask for, and making me look like an entitled princess after I stated multiple times that I was fine with whatever condition the house was in when I got there.” Setting the dishes around the table, I added, “He also cut me out of the project entirely weeks ago without me realizing it.”

“Ah,” Mom said. “He took control. Typical man.”

Calvin had seemed like anything but a typical man up to that point. “It doesn’t matter. Soon I won’t have to deal with him anymore.”

To my great annoyance, a tear rolled down my cheek and landed on the plate I’d just set on the table. I quickly brushed it away.

“Baby,” she said, turning me by the shoulders. “This is more than the house, isn’t it?”

Nodding, I whispered, “I really liked him.”

“Oh, darling, this is more than like. You fell for him, didn’t you?” I nodded again, too choked up to speak. “Come here.” She pulled me into her arms, and I started crying like a baby into her shoulder.

On Friday, I’d cried from anger. Then a wedding on Saturday had helped to keep thoughts of Calvin at bay. Mostly. But by this morning, the anger had ebbed into disappointment, and all of these feelings floated to the surface like an overwhelming tsunami of emotions.

The fragile dam I’d erected gave way the moment Mom held me close.

She patted my hair and cooed soft words against my ear until I ran out of steam and the hiccups started. That’s when Dad walked into the dining room.

“What are you two doing in here? The timer is going off on the stove, and I don’t know what for.” When he noticed I was crying, he started backing out of the room. “I’ll leave you two alone then.”

Dad had never been good with tears.

“Take the roast out of the oven,” Mom said to his departing back. She then wiped my cheeks with her thumb. “If he means this much to you, you need to work it out.”

Not the words I expected. “Didn’t you hear what I said? He took over my project. There’s nothing to work out.”

“When was the last time you felt this way about a man?”

Only one answer came to mind. “I’ve never felt this way before.”

“Then it’s worth trying. It seems to me like his heart was in the right place. Calvin likely thought that taking this task off your shoulders and going the extra mile would make you happy.” With a sigh, she said, “Men don’t always go about things the right way, but if you thought enough of him to open your heart, he may be worth giving an exception. At least this once.”

I had to admit, there were more malicious things he could have done. “But how do I know he won’t do this over and over again? I don’t want to be with someone who thinks I can’t run my own life.”

Mom laughed. “You’ve always been so independent. As early as second grade, you wouldn’t even let me help you with your homework. A little help isn’t always a bad thing, honey. When you find the right person, you help each other.”

I crossed my arms. “When has Dad ever helped you?”

“Do you think we’d be married thirty-five years if this marriage was all one-sided?”

She had a point. And I really wasn’t being fair to Dad. He’d stepped up from time to time. Nights when Mom worked late, he’d made sure I had dinner. He ordered in, but that still counted. He’d also driven me all over town to find the exact camera that I wanted, and when Bammy passed, it had been Dad’s shoulder I cried on the most.

“You’re more patient than I am. I want fifty-fifty.”

Mom burst out laughing. “Then prepare to be alone forever Love and marriage is never fifty-fifty. It might be forty-nine fifty-one today, and ninety-ten tomorrow. But fifty-fifty is far too much to ask.”

“That feels like telling me to lower my standards. Why do that when I can stay single and be happy?”

Mom crossed to the buffet, drew out the napkins, and set one beside each plate. “You can be happy alone or with someone. I’m not telling you one is better than the other, or that you can’t be happy without a man.” Napkins down, she looked up from across the table. “What I’m telling you is that if you care that much about this boy, then giving him a little grace might be a good idea. Just because you weren’t looking for love is no reason not to fight for it when it comes your way.”

The l word made the hair on my arms stand up. I said I liked him. I may even have had high hopes for him and considered bringing him to a family dinner, but let’s not get crazy.

“You’re making too much of this. I don’t love Calvin Hopkins.”

Mom gave a half shrug. “If that’s the case, then let him go.”

Since when did she give up so easily? “I am letting him go.”

“Okay, then. Good riddance to him.” She shifted a napkin half an inch to the left before saying, “We need to start eating before the roast gets cold.”

Without another word, she returned to the kitchen, leaving me alone with my thoughts in the dining room. I said the words again. “I don’t love Calvin Hopkins.”

Feeling content with my verbal affirmation, I reminded myself that I couldn’t lose something I never had. I was happily single before this mess started, and I would be happily single long after. And then I looked down to see that I’d set four places instead of three. Without thinking, I’d made a place for Calvin beside mine.

I really wanted him to be there.

Shaking the useless thought away, I shoved the napkin back in the drawer where it belonged before picking up the plate and carrying it back to the kitchen.