Chapter Thirteen
B ea’s dark hair fell over her face, her strong thighs gripped Alli’s waist as she straddled her. Alli could feel herself straining, pushing upwards, needing, wanting, as Bea smiled and teased her, bending lower to kiss her and then arching upward so that her lips were out of reach.
Alli’s breath was coming so fast that she was on the edge of panic as Bea reached for the bottom of her t-shirt, lifting the hem and slowly, oh, so slowly stripping it off and up, revealing swathes of tanned, soft skin, ridges of muscles, the curves of her breast. Alli thought she might explode then and there.
Then Bea was running long fingers along Alli’s torso, eyes glittering with wanting. Tracing fingernails over her ribs, down to her stomach, sliding her body downward until she was astride Alli’s legs.
She reached cotton underwear, her fingers just sliding around the waistband, and looked up with pleading in her dark eyes. It was all Alli could do to nod. The need was filling her, subsuming her until it was the only thing she could think about.
With careful hands, Bea slid down Alli’s underwear and Alli parted her legs unbidden as Bea lowered her head and…
Alli shot up in bed, sheets tangled around her, breath catching in her throat, sweat trickling down her back.
Jesus Christ. What had happened?
She was burning all over, her skin longing to be touched and it was dark, so dark. She lay back down again in sweat-dampened sheets, sliding her hands over her own stomach, over her hipbones, down so that she parted her own legs and her fingers dipped inside wetness.
Then she was arching up to meet her hand with barely a touch, barely a movement, her hips bucking as her breathing stopped and her heart pounded and her left hand flew to her mouth, teeth biting down on skin as she pulsed and gasped and came all in the same instant.
For a long minute she lay there, her body calming itself in the cool of the night, seeing stars beneath her eyelids, letting her breath come more slowly now, recovering.
Until her brain finally caught up with what was going on.
Bea.
Bea?
Christ, she must be in bad shape. All this time to think and no work. Her brain was turning on her, becoming a traitor, teasing her with new and exciting images to try and make up for the boredom of the day.
That was it, wasn’t it? That had to be it.
And Bea of all people. She snorted into her pillow. As if.
Her limbs were heavy with tiredness.
As if anything like that would happen, could happen.
Except… except it had never been like that before, had it? She bit her lip. The urgency of it, the power of it, the heat of it. Never. She wasn’t that person. She was broken. She wasn’t designed to feel things like that.
She’d accepted that for so long that it had become a part of her. She was great at her job, ambitious, strong, so of course she had to be lacking in other areas to make up for those strengths. Surely everyone had their pros and cons.
She just wasn’t a sexual being. End of story.
There was a throbbing between her legs, a deep ache that made her long for more. A flash of Bea’s face and a clenching of muscles and her blood was starting to pound again.
Alli threw herself out of bed, marched herself into the cold shared bathroom and splashed water on her face. She waited until she was shivering with the cold and then took herself back to bed.
This was some kind of anomaly. Just further proof that she needed to get back to work. That was all it was.
TO BE FAIR, the breakfast buffet was fairly impressive. Alli looked up and down the long table, waiting for the twinge of sourness from her stomach that always came when she looked at fruit and coffee and thought about her day.
When it didn’t come, she picked up a plate and helped herself to whatever it was she wanted, finding that she was starving. She’d picked her plate clean by the time anyone else was up, and decided that she’d have a walk around to burn off some of the inexplicable extra energy that she had.
She’d slept heavily, like the dead once she’d gone back to bed.
She came out of the dining room and ran bump into Izzy.
“You look cheerful,” Izzy said blearily. Alli sniffed and tried to look sterner, obviously failing because even Izzy pulled a face. “Too early for this,” Izzy said, disappearing into the dining room.
The next person she met was Josh, his bulk filling the corridor as he headed to breakfast. He peered at her suspiciously. “Are you planning a breakout?” he asked.
Ah, that must be it. Alli straightened her shoulders. She was getting her phone back today. At which point, surely Darren was going to take pity on her and let her out of here. She must just be responding physically to the idea that she was going back to her life.
“Not quite,” she said to Josh.
“Please don’t. I’m the one that would have to chase you down.”
“I’m not a prisoner here,” she said.
He sighed. “Luke takes participation very seriously.”
“Right.” She eyed him, but he was already turning toward his breakfast.
“Just don’t do anything silly. And don’t forget, group sessions start today.”
“I won’t, and it won’t matter to me,” she said cheerily, walking in the opposite direction.
The yoga room was at the end of the corridor and she went in, thinking it would do her no harm to stretch. The door closed behind her and suddenly she was face to face with Bea.
Not quite as close as in her dream, but close enough. Close enough that she could smell Aloe Vera shampoo and see that little scar on her hairline.
“You’re early,” Bea said chirpily.
Alli took a step back, feeling her back hit the door. “No, I’m not,” she said stupidly.
Bea lifted an eyebrow. “Um, you really are.”
Alli swallowed, the pictures from her dream coming back to her, the ghost of sensations tickling along her skin. Then she shook herself. This was stupid. She was stupid. “Yeah, well, I didn’t know you’d be here,” she said, pushing herself back off the door and holding her head high.
“I’m just getting warmed up,” Bea said. “You don’t have to leave, you’re welcome to stay.”
Why was she being nice? Why had she given Alli a cookie the other day? Why was she smiling? It made no sense. Alli felt a spike of anger in her chest. If it weren’t for Bea herself then she’d never have had that dream, she should be long gone by now, Bea should have got her out of the program, at the very least should have got her better treatment and a phone.
“Actually, I’m glad to run into you,” Alli said, taking control of the conversation. “Do you have my phone?”
“No… no,” Bea said. “But I assumed I’d have until the end of the day.”
Alli rolled her eyes. “Yeah, right. Are you actually going to get this done? Because to be honest with you, I’m getting sick and tired of this. You lost your temper with me, I have a hold over you, you need to be giving something back if I’m not going to Luke about your little anger management problem.”
“I’m trying,” Bea said. She swallowed and her cheeks reddened. “Though actually, whilst we’re talking about anger management, I think you should give a little thought to the fact that you should be here, that this isn’t a mistake. You’ve obviously got issues.”
Alli’s blood pumped harder. “I what? I’ve got issues?” She laughed bitterly. “I’ll tell you something, I’d rather have my kind of issues than yours.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Well, at least I’m not a failure of a yoga teacher stuck in some crappy retreat. You probably don’t even get paid what I make an hour for the entire program, do you?” She walked closer. “And you know what’s worse? Not being able to stand up for yourself, not having the courage, the backbone to walk away from a situation where you’re being taken advantage of.”
“I… I…” Bea started to stutter.
“Oh, give it a rest,” Alli said. “It’s not like you have anything of importance to say.” She was gearing herself up now, ready to go into another rant, ready to really scare Bea off, when she saw the glitter of tears in Bea’s eyes.
Bea was crying.
Alli’s heart stopped for a second.
“Wait, wait, are you crying?”
“Why would you care?” Bea said, furiously wiping tears away with her sleeve.
“Because…” Alli’s stomach flipped over and now she did feel the sourness. “I didn’t expect you to cry,” she said.
“Then why would you say such horrible things?”
Alli stared at her. This had never happened to her before. Granted, she generally yelled at shop clerks and corporate men, but she’d never actually had someone break down in tears. She didn’t really know what to do.
“I, um, I didn’t mean them,” she said, her anger fizzling away to nothing. “I was just cross because you said I had anger problems.”
Bea sniffed and wiped her eyes again.
“Jesus, I’m sorry.” Alli stepped in and without thinking, put her arm around Bea. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.
And Bea was coming in closer, and Alli could smell her, could feel her warmth, could remember the touch of her dream body, could just about lose her breath all over again as…
“Bea, there you are.” The door swung open. Alli and Bea jumped apart just as Luke walked in. “Lex was looking for you. Something about this morning’s group sessions.”
Alli took a breath. Whatever that had been was… nothing. A distraction and one that needed to be forgotten. There was a job at stake here.
Though looking at the way Bea looked at Luke, there were two jobs at stake.
She turned and walked away. There’d be no more dreams. And definitely no more touching.