Nothing Without You

1. Adelaide

ONE

ADELAIDE

My life was apparently the kind of children’s book that had ripped pages, colourful demented scribbles, and was only available at the library closest to shutting down. Kids bit the edges and left their boogers as a special token for the next person.

No one ever replaced these books because who wanted to touch a booger book? Especially when said booger book was being thrown right at the public to step all over.

The sun was glaring into the grey boardroom. Bouncing off Starlight’s narrow-squinted board members. Each micro expression focused on my flaws as CEO.

Truly, if a single day could slip into a lifetime, this would be the moment I got trapped.

By their vicious, misogynistic stares.

“Adelaide, care to explain what is going on here?” Todd’s nostril hair stuck out of his nose in ungroomed stiffs. Do you ever think his boogers get trapped up there? Poor things.

Albert, the one with multiple bald patches on his head sniffed loudly. “I knew we never should have voted for a woman again.”

I found that bald men should never talk. We should start a solidarity campaign against bald men and their mouths—protest for a permanent mouth-shutting concoction that’ll keep their lips closed just like their hair growth.

Finding humour in the situation didn’t help as my consciousness drifted back to this morning.

The CEO of Starlight, Adelaide Mikael is under intense criticism for her way of handling business. Just last night, one of her newest interns shared a story of sexual violence and how she was paid off by Ms. Mikael herself to keep it under wraps. The young intern shared an email thread between her and Ms. Mikael where the young CEO was cold towards the graphic behaviour described. Not only are Ms. Mikael’s morals being questioned, but everything she stands for as a woman is being put on the stand. Should female CEOs continue to reign in business empires, or should we put this newfound feminism to rest?

Out of all the people they could be, they chose to impersonate me ?

Eda Mikael, the previous CEO of Starlight and my aunt, told me that the world feared women in charge. There were people out there who wanted to see powerful women fall to their demise.

A huge part of me wanted to fall just so I could walk out of this building and never return.

Officially, it had been six months since Eda left for Bali and dropped Starlight into my hands like it was an uncooked chicken that slipped from her fingers while washing. Unofficially, I was still the girl who used to make jewellery in her room at the crack of dawn only to sell it to a five-year-old giving a diamond necklace to her dog.

Now that was flattering.

“This is sudden… I’m working on releasing a statement?—”

“Statement? That’s not going to work.” Harry Samuels was the youngest Caucasian man on this board—almost thirty-seven. He also happened to have all the ideas the men always approved of. Harry Samuels was intelligent, highly capable, and also wanted my position as the CEO of Starlight. Mostly because his father was my father’s second in command, which is weird because how exactly did that give Harry here the right to be CEO?

Hasan Taimoor—the true youngest member—was the only one in this group of elitists who never agreed with them. He also happened to be the only man with a full set of hair around here.

Hasan was my best friend’s brother. Brown skin and hair, strong build, and mesmerizing eyes that could make any girl weak in the knees.

Either that or those girls naturally had iron deficiency.

Being friends with his sister for close to a decade gave me the right to call him my friend. When he finally had enough money, he bought shares from Eda and landed a spot in the popular group.

Except he and I stood out like sore thumbs. We were the freshman students entering high school not knowing where our classes were or that we wouldn’t be in every single class together.

Maybe that was why he always stuck by my side and made sure to help me out no matter what. Even though there were times his lips twitched to agree with Harry and his minions.

Loyalty over broyalty, or whatever the saying is.

“I appreciate your input, Mr. Samuels. But unfortunately, we have to release a statement as soon as possible.” I kept my composure and tried hard not to let him get the best of me. Despite the croaky sound of his breaths making my eyes twitch. I was suddenly aware of each man sitting in the room. From the way they sat to the way they stared, to how they openly spoke. Some curved their r’s , others smacked their lips together, my absolute favourite was the spit flying right out of their mouths.

Involuntarily shuddering at the imaginary feeling of prickles, remembering I had an issue with sensory things . It itched and my anxiety was already a consistent rash.

“So, the allegations are true then? I’m assuming since you’re eager for a statement.”

The men pondered over Harry’s bashful words.

Hasan clashed with my pleading gaze. His dishevelled hair flung back in place after running a frustrated hand through it. “A statement will lessen the impact this scandal has on Starlight.” Loud and clear for them to hear. “Which is our number one priority.”

“And what if it doesn’t?” Harry rested his elbows on the table as he leaned forward. His eyes surveyed me in disrespect that felt awfully close to my clothes ripping off my body.

Unfortunately, Harry wasn’t remotely ugly. Being bald didn’t take away from it either, considering his lack of hair was a choice rather than the circle of life. “Adelaide left us in a mess and if we don’t figure out what to do about her, Starlight will face the repercussions.”

“ She’s in charge.”

“Yes, and she messed up by not protecting her ugly truth.”

In my head, I was telling every single one of them off.

In reality, I was staring at them dumbstruck like I hadn’t a clue what they were saying. I blamed it on sweaty pits and the constant overthinking of assuming they could hear my inner monologues.

Subtle, hesitating beats in my chest fluctuated profusely. The lump in my throat expanded to the size of a baby’s head. “What do you suggest we do, Mr. Samuels?”

“What I suggest that you do,” he started to say. “Is to step down as CEO for the time being.”

My thumb’s nail dug into the index finger's skin. A subtle pinch, long enough to hurt but temporary enough to subside. “How would this help us?”

Hasan’s jaw clenched like he wanted to deck them all in the face.

Securing my position was more important than securing my dignity. If giving away my power meant keeping Eda’s respect, I didn’t have a choice.

My parents had to be looking down at me with disappointment. It was one thing to own a company, it was another to take control of it.

There were six months until the shareholders decided if I was a good fit for Starlight. This scandal fed ammunition into their unused weapons. From all corners, I was trapped. Each gun pointed in my direction.

“Right now, the public sees you as a liability. By stepping down, you’re respecting their view and waiting it out.”

“By stepping down, she’s admitting to it.” Hasan retorted without a second thought. Beneath the table, I kicked his feet to warn him. Not now .

He kicked back harder. Yes, now.

You would think that after he became a dad, he’d be more fun and carefree like he was with his son. But no . He was the overbearing and grumpy older brother I didn’t ask for.

After his wife passed away during childbirth, he completely changed. I watched him go through grief and barely hold on. I missed the boy he used to be, but I’d rather have him as he is now than not having him at all.

Harry’s unnerving gaze shifted its attention back to me. “Do you admit it?”

My heart pounded in my ears.

When I didn’t reply, a diabolical and criminal-like smile etched onto his face like he knew I’d stay quiet. “Well then.”

The springs from Albert’s chair screamed when he leaned back. “Ayeza was a wonderful addition to our company. It’s a shame that because of your actions, we’re losing an intelligent young woman.”

It all happened in slow motion.

Tension climbed my spine.

The board members, other than Hasan, turned to look at the chubby man with indescribable expressions. It was the contortion of the words shut up from Harry’s mouth that silenced all thought.

Hasan should be the only member who knew Ayeza because he was in charge of hiring interns.

“Let’s take a vote, shall we?” Albert choked on the silence with a break in his voice. “All in favour of Adelaide temporarily stepping down as CEO?”

The vote ended with five hands in the air and Harry was officially announced as Interim CEO.

I think they’re involved.

They had to be.

What else explained the unfiltered panic on their faces?

Molten bubbles catapulted off the inner layers of my skin, eager to burst out.

Sexual violence.

Young intern.

Board members.

Indecision tasted of unsolidified, bitter truths. They just so happened to be the exact flavour of the repercussions I faced for being unaware.

My heart clenched in my chest at the thought of Ayeza never being able to move on with her life.

As I left the room towards the elevator, all I could think about was one thing.

She was only eighteen.

It wasn’t until I was halfway across the highway that I pulled to the side and dialled Eda’s number. Each agonizing ring flooded my anxiety to the max.

Please pick up.

“This is Eda Mikael, please leave a message at the beep.”

I’m gonna shoot myself in the head.

“Now, now. No need to get all violent on me.” The soft, precarious tone travelled through the rifts of the car and into my shallow ears. “Eda,” I dropped my head to the steering wheel.

A gentle laugh pursed through the speakers. “My dear Adelaide, what’s wrong?” The sound of blankets shuffling caught me off guard. She was in Bali, resting, and enjoying her well-deserved retirement. Then there was me, here in New York, suffering with the heavy burden of responsibilities and adulthood.

“Have you seen the news by any chance?” Nervous prickles tiptoed down the back of my neck in beads of sweat. It didn’t seem like she knew otherwise I wouldn’t have been the one calling her.

“What happened, Adelaide?” Her stern tone pricked at my soft skin.

“It’s not that bad,” I said quickly. “But I need some old auntie advice.”

There were two ways this could go. Eda would eviscerate my very being through the phone or she’d fly out from Bali to solve this mess herself. Personally, preferred the latter. You can’t handle anything yourself, can you? Always running to the first person for help. She’s been working for years, providing for you, and taking care of you—here you are, bothering her like always.

After giving her the breakdown of today, leaving out details relating to the impersonating email, Eda sighed. “First of all, I am not old.”

“And secondly?” I asked.

The highway was busy during the end of the afternoon—a lot of them eager to get home from work. A sudden chorus of cacophonous honks demanded my car to move out of the way.

I knew better than to cry while driving but I couldn’t help it. A tear shot straight out of my eye and onto my arm.

“Why has there been no press statement yet?” I imagined Eda’s short bob swaying to the side as she sat in a chair with her hands on her thighs, and the phone on speaker in front of her. Now that was a typical Eda response.

“I didn’t know about it before this morning,” I said too loud for someone sitting in a car.

“Were you busy playing hooky when this was happening?”

Her sarcasm elicited a subtle twitch in my eye as I released a low, shaky breath.

And desperately mouthed numbers from one to eight.

Getting off the highway, I manoeuvred the vehicle in the direction of Umaima and Hasan’s house. “Maybe you should come back, Auntie.”

Silence.

“I know it hasn’t been long since you left but I can’t…” I continued babbling. “You’re a professional. You know how to take care of this.”

More silence.

“This would be the perfect time to say something, Auntie.”

“What would you like me to say?” There were barely any sounds of her breathing. “We made a deal before you started your training. You promised me you’d try for one year—which is what the will states—and after the time is up, if you don’t want this and still want your delusional dreams of becoming a Jeweller, the law would let you.”

My chest tightened. “I know what I promised?—”

“Then why aren’t you fulfilling it ?” She snapped.

I swallowed hard. “Because I can’t?—”

“There’s no such thing as can’t , Adelaide. You made me a promise and by making me a promise…” Her tone deepened. “You promised your parents, now how would they feel if you broke their promise?”

Air escaped as noise feedback from her end to mine. “You’re a smart woman, Adelaide. Tell me something that could fix this.”

“Harry’s interim CEO,” I blurted. “He’ll be making all the big plans now.”

“But you’re still the one in charge,” she said quickly with breathless confidence.

“But the board agreed.”

“The board agrees to a lot of things, doesn’t mean you have to go with it.” A door slammed at a distance. With murmured voices, Eda spoke to the other. My eyes darted over to the time on my dashboard, it was seven in the morning at Bali. Whatever she did was totally her business, but this early?

“It’s not like I can fight them on it.” I spluttered once her hoarse feedback announced her return. “Have you seen my punches?”

“Yes, I have a picture of the black eye from last year's practice to prove it.” Her laugh sounded real. “They’re dangerous and I know with the right motivation, you can be too. Just make sure you don’t hit me in the face this time around.”

Never.

“What do you think I should do?”

“First,” she started typing something on her computer. “Take back your spot by earning the board members respect and then release a statement. The public is shooting you down for staying quiet and we can’t give them more ammunition.”

What about the emails? There’s a chance she might know if someone tried to get access to my email, since she made it for me.

The question burned on the tip of my tongue. If I told her someone disguised themselves as me to pay Ayeza off, Eda would have an aneurysm and go into shock.

The secret brewed like bitter coffee.

Moonshine came to mind, but I stewed with that idea. They could help me— maybe better than anyone else —but I’d rather not risk the humiliation of facing Osama and a specific Korean after the last time we saw each other.

Daniel Hayes retired a couple of years ago and in his place, Osama Taimoor was granted the title based on a shareholder’s vote. His name left a delicate curved etch on my lips. If it weren’t for his best friend , he and I truly could have remained good friends.

“ …Promise me you won’t give up.”

Eda sounded achingly desperate to hear another vow.

I wondered how many promises I’d given while being under her guardianship.

Too many. But what was one more?

“I promise.”