Chapter Eighteen
“There’s something I need to tell you.”
The following night, Roman did not work late. He’d had enough of the daily grind, slogging his guts out for a team of unappreciative middle-managers who cared more about targets and metrics than they did about people. He had told his section head about Phil, the trauma of discovering his body and the effect it had on him. She had nodded, uncomfortable and uncertain before telling him he could refer himself to the occupational health department if he wanted to talk about it.
He'd realised in that moment what a terrible company he worked for and that he needed to get out. If they decided to lay him off, they’d be doing him a favour.
The walk home was long, dark and cold but he felt a strange positivity. He’d made a small stand and was no longer prepared to take the shit life threw at him. If it meant giving up his life in the city and returning to the coast, it would not be the end of the world. It could be the start of something new…something better.
As he turned the corner at the top of the street, he saw the lights were on in the apartment. Ashley was home already. Roman hoped he was alone. The mood he was in right now, if he found Patrick spread out on the sofa, he might tell him exactly what he thought of him and throw the fucker out of the door.
As he drew closer, he was aware of someone outside, pacing in front of the steps that led to the entrance.
It was Mallon.
Mallon turned as he approached. He was dressed in jeans and the fur-trimmed flying jacket with a cigarette clamped between his fingers. He dropped the cigarette and ground it out with his shoe, kicking it into the gutter.
“What are you doing here?”
Mallon stepped closer. His eyes were large, glistening pools in the light of the streetlamp. “I had to see you. I didn’t want to text or call. I needed to see you for real, to explain.”
Roman sighed. Despite the anger that had filled him the night before, he was glad to see him. “How did you even know where to find me?”
“It wasn’t hard. You’re famous now. It’s been driving me crazy, not seeing you. After our call last night, I realised how badly I’ve handled things. I fucked up, and I’m sorry. I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am.”
“I have a lot to deal with at the minute. The smallest thing triggers my anger.”
“It’s freezing out here. Can we talk inside? Please?”
Roman climbed the steps to the front door. “Follow me.”
His heart sank when he entered the flat and heard Ashley and Patrick talking in the living room. Fuck. On top of everything else, he didn’t need that bastard.
“This way.” He led Mallon straight to his bedroom and closed the door behind them.
It was a relief to see he’d made the bed and straightened the place up before leaving for work that morning, not that he could remember doing it. The morning seemed a lifetime ago. He took off his jacket and hung it on the back of the door, gesturing for Mallon to do the same.
“I would show you around, but my flatmates boyfriend is a piece of shit, and I don’t have it in me to deal with him right now.”
“Why don’t you get a place of your own?”
Roman snorted softly. Like his mother, Mallon hadn’t a clue how life was for regular working people in the city. “If only it were that easy.”
Mallon hung up his jacket. He wore a checked shirt underneath. The red, white and blue colours looked stunning on him. He rummaged in the inside pocket, producing an envelope. “I got you a small present. Just a token to try and make it up to you.”
Roman took the envelope and opened it. There were two tickets to the next Blyham FC home match that Saturday.
Mallon looked at him hopefully. “You said you’d like to go but couldn’t afford the tickets. I thought we could go together.”
He returned the tickets to the envelope and handed them back. Mallon’s optimistic smile faded.
“Sorry. I’d love to, but I’m visiting my parents next weekend. I’ve already committed myself and can’t let them down.” A dark, sadistic part of him enjoyed the flicker of hurt that passed over Mallon’s face. His usual self-confidence, arrogance and ego were absent. For the first time, Roman saw doubt in Mallon’s eyes.
“Oh. Okay.” Mallon stared at the envelope. “Well, maybe we can go another time, when you are free.”
Roman relented. “I’d like that. Just run the date by me first next time.”
Mallon nodded and tossed the tickets onto Roman’s dresser. “Maybe you know someone who can use these instead. Give them to a friend or colleague.”
They stood, looking at one another, the silence lengthening and deepening. Roman didn’t know what to say. He’d never been in this situation before. He felt so strongly for Mallon, wanted him more than any man ever, but there was a gulf between them. The last forty-eight hours had made him realise they barely knew each other at all.
“I don’t know how to do this,” Mallon admitted, letting out an exasperated laugh. “It’s all so fucking strange.”
This side of him was new. In the time they’d known each other, it was the first glimpse of vulnerability Roman had seen. “What is it that you find so difficult?”
“ Everything . Don’t you realise how hard this is for me? In case you hadn’t noticed, I’m not an emotional man—or rather, I’m not the kind of man who shows his emotions.”
“Mallon, I don’t want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable, but my friend died on Sunday. I found his body. I can’t bottle that up and contain it. My emotions, my grief, need an outlet. I need to be with people who understand that, who can help me deal with it. If you can’t handle emotions, that’s fine, I understand, but you’re no good for me right now. It sounds like we both need to deal with our separate issues.”
“No,” Mallon yelled. “No. That’s not it. I don’t want to let you go.” He stepped closer to Roman. “I want you. I want us to be together.”
Roman couldn’t control himself. He wrapped his hand around the back of Mallon’s head and pulled him in for a kiss. Suddenly they were overwhelmed by hunger for each other. They thrust against one another. Roman shoved his tongue into Mallon’s mouth—dominating, tasting, breathing him in. Mallon’s arms were around him, holding him like the world depended on it, like he never wanted to let go. Roman moaned against Mallon’s lips. All his anxiety, his stress, were forgotten for a moment. The kiss reset everything.
“I want you,” Mallon said, pulling apart. He unbuckled his belt, unfastened his jeans and turned around. He shoved his jeans to midthigh, then his white underpants, exposing the pale tan line of his arse.
“What are doing?” Roman gasped, breathless with passion.
“I want you to take me,” Mallon said, shuffling towards the bed. He leaned forward, presenting his fine arse. “Take my ass. I want you inside me. I want to be the same as you.”
Roman didn’t question it. The sight of Mallon bent over, exposed, giving up the one thing he had denied him until now was too great. Roman fell to his knees and feasted on the view. Mallon’s buttocks were high and pert, the skin several shades paler than the rest of his sun kissed body, lightly covered with silky, dark hair. He planted a hand on each cheek, feeling the muscle, firm but not hard. It was perfection. Roman parted his buttocks and shoved his face inside.
It was what he’d been dreaming of, the day Mallon gave up his arse. Roman devoured it with all his senses, savouring the heat, breathing in the musky scent, tasting the salt on his skin. He moaned and pressed his lips to his hot hole, delighted when he heard Mallon’s long sigh of pleasure. Roman teased him with the tip of his tongue, exploring the puckered lines and surfaces of his opening. Roman adored having his own arse eaten and knew exactly what felt good. In seconds, Mallon squirmed and pushed backwards, grinding his hips against Roman’s face.
“Yeeeessss,” Mallon hissed. “Take it. Take my ass.”
Roman attacked with increased vigour. He had wanted to explore this previously off-limits area of Mallon’s body for so long. He wanted to drive him crazy with desire, the way Mallon had always done with him. He licked and slurped, getting his tight hole juicy and wet, coaxing it into surrender with each sweep of his tongue.
“Fuck me,” Mallon demanded. “I want your cock inside me.”
Roman rocked on his haunches. He gave Mallon’s arse a gentle smack. “Take off your bottoms.”
Mallon did as he’d asked, kicking off his shoes and shucking off his jeans and underwear. Roman retrieved lube from his dresser while Mallon lay face down on the bed, his legs outstretched and parted. Roman hurriedly shed his own clothes until he was down to just his work shirt. He climbed onto the bed. Mallon’s beautiful, heart-shaped arse summoned him.
“Are you used to this?” he asked, coating his fingers in lube. He slipped his hand into Mallon’s crevice and ran the tip of his finger around his wet hole.
“It’s been a while,” Mallon admitted.
“How long?”
“Years.”
“I’ll go easy,” Roman said, slipping his finger into the opening. He exhaled as Mallon took him in an incredibly hot, tight grip.
“I just want you to fuck me. Do anything you want to.” Mallon pressed the side of his face against the bed and looked over his shoulder at Roman. “Do it.”
Roman squirted more lube into his palm and covered his cock from the head to the root, getting it fully slick. No matter how much Mallon begged, if he hadn’t been fucked in years, Roman would have to go easy on him. He nudged Mallon’s thighs wider and lay over him, taking his weight on one elbow and his knees. He guided his cock to the opening and pushed until he felt the ring of muscle give a little.
“Ready?”
Mallon nodded. “Yes.”
Roman lowered himself onto him and eased his cock inside. Mallon was so tight he didn’t think he was going to get far. He gave another, more insistent shove and something gave within him. Mallon gasped and stiffened beneath him.
“Okay?”
Mallon drew a series of quick breaths. “Keep going. Fill me.”
Roman slipped deeper and deeper, taking his time, attuned to Mallon’s body, watching his reactions. Finally, his hips pressed against Mallon’s buttocks. Roman shifted his weight, lying down on Mallon’s back. He wrapped his arm around his shoulder and rested his head in the crook of his neck. “Tell me when you are used to it.”
Mallon rubbed his head against Roman’s and gently wriggled his hips from side to side. “Just give me a minute,” he sighed. Then he let out a little laugh. “I feel like a virgin again. It must have been even longer than I thought.”
Roman kissed him on the cheek and savoured the intense feeling of being inside him. Roman was so used to getting fucked himself, he’d forgotten how pleasurable it was to be on top. Or had it ever been a pleasure until now? Most of the guys he had fucked had been immature, pussy boys. They had laid there, legs wide open, making no effort to connect while he’d fucked them. This was different. Taking Mallon’s arse was a life-changing experience for both of them.
“All right,” Mallon said, pressing his shoulders to the bed, giving it up. “I’m ready.”
Roman eased back and forth, gentle to begin with, noting every reaction from the man beneath him. Mallon pushed his hands forward, above his head. He linked his fingers and sighed. Roman wondered how much he enjoyed it, and how much was a surrender for his benefit after the friction between them. He fucked him long and slow, knowing how exquisite the sensation of a hard cock grazing the sensitive inner lining of his arse could be, gauging where Mallon’s prostate lay and ensuring a smooth contact with each inward stroke. Mallon squirmed and widened his legs.
Roman gently nibbled at his shoulder, the base of his neck, and watched as goosebumps rippled across his flesh. Soon he fucked longer and deeper, increasing the pace, confident in Mallon’s ability to take it. Mallon grunted with each thrust.
“It this okay?” Roman asked, pushing onto his hands to increase the leverage of his hips.
“Fuck me. Come inside me.”
Mallon’s words inflamed him. Roman dug his knees into the bed and went harder, faster. Their bodies came together. With every thrust, Mallon pushed his hips backwards, wanting him deeper. The sensations intensified as their emotions strengthened. When Roman couldn’t stand the pressure any longer, he increased his pace to a jackrabbit thrust and came. His cock swelled, feeling bigger than ever in the tight confines of Mallon’s arse, and the spasms seemed to run through his entire body.
Roman sagged, breathing heavily in Mallon’s ear. “Oh my God. Oh my God .”
Mallon murmured appreciatively.
“Are you all right?” Roman asked, his heart pounding against Mallon’s back.
“Mmm,” Mallon wriggled his hips. “But I think you can take it out now.”
Roman laughed, withdrawing with care. “Not for you?”
Mallon relaxed. “It…will take some getting used to. I told you, it’s been years.”
“I appreciate the effort,” Roman said, rising from the bed. He grabbed a handful of tissues and wiped his sticky cock.
“It’s a good beginning, no? With practice, I can bottom as well as you.”
Roman laughed. He pulled on his robe and went to the bathroom to take care of the tissues. His good mood was spoiled within seconds when he heard Ashley and Patrick arguing in the living room.
“I want to watch that,” Ashley said, sounding annoyingly passive and whiny.
“Enough of this shit. I’m not watching your fucking soaps all night.” There was no humour in Patrick’s tone, only anger.
“Give me that back.”
“Stop sounding like a cunt.”
Mallon was sitting up on the bed when Roman returned. He had put his underpants and checked shirt back on. Roman couldn’t blame him. It was cold in the flat now that the heat of passion had died, and he kept the robe on, sitting beside him.
“What’s this?” Mallon asked, tipping his heads towards the wall.
“Ashley and Patrick. Charming, aren’t they?”
“What are they arguing about?”
“Nothing much. Patrick doesn’t need an excuse. He could start an argument in an empty room.”
“Asshole.”
Roman patted his thigh. “You haven’t even met him, and you’ve nailed it in one.”
They shuffled closer, their legs touching. “How long have you lived here?” Mallon asked.
“It will be getting on for two years, I imagine. I like it here. It’s well positioned for the city, and Ashley is a great flatmate when he isn’t hooked up with awful boyfriends. We’ve had an occasional bit of abuse from some of the local kids but nothing we can’t handle. Homophobia is on the rise all over Blyham. This area is no worse than anywhere else.”
“You shouldn’t have to put up with it.”
“I know. But it’s a fact of life. We’re still a long way from acceptance.”
“Stop acting like a prissy fucking bitch.” Patrick’s voice boomed through the wall.
Roman sighed. “I can handle abuse outside, in the streets. It’s a lot harder to bear when it’s our own home.”
Mallon sat up straighter. “Do you want me to take care of this asshole?”
“No. God, no. That would only make it worse. Until Ashley wakes up to the fact that he’s dating a monster, nothing will change.”
Ashley hollered something back at Patrick, but his words were incomprehensible through the walls.
Mallon drew a sharp breath and leapt from the bed. He paced the floor agitatedly. Roman got up to pacify him, concealing his own anger at the other couple.
“Let me put on some music. It will drown them out.”
Mallon shook his head. His expression had changed in a matter of seconds, from post-sex bliss to extreme anxiety. Roman had never seen him look so serious.
“We need to talk,” Mallon said in a rush. “I didn’t come here for sex. There are…things I need to tell you.”
Suddenly the floor beneath Roman’s feet seemed unsteady, like it would fall away at any time. “Okay.” He searched Mallon’s features for a clue and got nothing.
“I can’t do it here…with them.” He jabbed his finger towards the wall. He searched the room for his clothes, picking up his jeans and stepping into them. “I hate this bullshit. There’s something I need to tell you, and I can’t do it here.”
“You’re worrying me now.”
Mallon found his boots and pulled them on. He avoided Roman’s gaze.
The voices from the next room grew louder.
“Let’s go,” Mallon said, finally looking at Roman. His pale grey eyes were unfathomable. “Please. Get dressed. Let’s get out of here. I feel like…the walls are closing in on us.”
“I’m not sure I should leave them,” Roman said, “when they’re fighting.”
“Fuck them,” Mallon yelled. “They are going to argue whether you are here or not. I need to speak to you, and if I don’t tell you tonight, I’m not sure I’ll have the courage to ever tell you at all.”
The power of his words hung heavily in the room.
“All right,” Roman said, unable to stand the strain any longer. There was nothing he could do for Ashley and Patrick, but what he could do for Mallon was listen. “Let’s go.”
He picked up his clothes and started to dress.