Chapter 5
CHAPTER FIVE
F olding a trembling Nuala into his arms felt like being handed a gift, precious and fragile. Remy knew he’d protect her with his life. He’d been willing to before, but that had been theory. Now it was a certainty.
“There now,” he told her, holding her against him and rubbing her back. “That’s my good, brave girl. I’m going to get you bundled up again, your teeth are chattering.”
Nuala didn’t fight him when he towed her back to the couch, wrapped her back up in the blanket, and picked her up to settle her back on his lap.
“Thank you,” she said shyly, looking up at him. “I don’t know why but sometimes after a scene, it seems like my body can’t regulate its temperature and I go from hot to cold and back, over and over again.”
“Good to know. You tell me how you’re feeling, so I can keep you comfortable.”
He filed that information away, hoping it would be useful in the future. Once he felt like Nuala had calmed some and was comfortable being snuggled up with him, he let his curiosity back out.
“With your privacy concerns, how did you meet Anthony? And am I correct in guessing he’s not your boyfriend?”
The very idea of someone who wasn’t him having Nuala made him feel itchier than a bad case of poison ivy, but he also wasn’t in the business of moving in on another guy’s girl or really trying to convince a woman who’d made up her mind that he was a better choice. He hadn’t gotten a boyfriend/in-love vibe from Anthony, but then again, he hadn’t given the guy much of a chance. Couldn’t say he’d think much of a man who abandoned his girlfriend after a scene, but Nuala had asked him to leave.
“Oh, um, no. He’s definitely not my boyfriend.”
Nuala’s pretty face pinched like she’d bitten into a lemon.
“When Cabot and I were getting divorced, I decided it was time for me to have things I’d always wanted but wasn’t allowed. I ate a lot of ice cream.”
Remy laughed, but what else hadn’t Nuala been allowed when she was married to Cabot? The thought made him nauseated.
“I also decided I wanted to try kink. I didn’t want to chance meeting anyone I knew in Clover City, and I didn’t want to go the stranger-from-the-internet route. So I reached out to a kink club around here and asked if they had any members who’d been vetted and might be willing to play in a private home, instead of at the club.”
“You talking about Savage?” he asked, and Nuala nodded. “I haven’t been there, but I know of it.”
“That’s how I met Raven, the owner,” Nuala continued, “and Anthony. He’s a good top, knows how to keep his mouth shut, and I’ve been able to experience a bunch of things I was curious about because of him. But we’re not… We don’t… He’s too…”
“So it’s more of a play partner situation than a romantic one?”
“Yes, exactly. Partly because he’s not…”
Nuala looked at him, as if asking for permission. The way his heart surged made him question if he was as bad as Cabot, because he loved the idea of having so much control over this woman.
“Go on, Little girl,” he told her.
Yeah, her answering blush made his head swell like a balloon.
“He’s not a Daddy.”
“And that’s what you want,” Remy stated. “A Daddy.”
“Yes. When I first met Cabot, I thought he might be able to give that to me. But really, he was just a bully. He didn’t want a Little. If anything, he saw me being a Little as a liability and basically refused to acknowledge it.”
She’d never told anyone this before, but here in her living room on Remy’s lap and wrapped up snug in a blanket, it didn’t seem so scary to share. She thought if anyone could appreciate what she was about to say, it would be her neighbor.
“I actually wrote a story a long time ago. It was a DDlg romance, and I really enjoyed writing it. But when I told Cabot, he said I had to destroy it and never write another one again. Because what if someone found it and either tried to blackmail us or made it public to embarrass the family? So I stopped.”
Remy’s brows crunched as he looked down at her. “I’m so sorry, Nono. To have your creativity stifled like that, and your identity ignored and invalidated, must have been really hard. I hope you know that as far as I’m concerned, you being a Little makes you even more attractive than I thought you were before. Which was awfully damn attractive.”
What?
“You don’t have to say that,” she said, looking away, and feeling an unfriendly warmth crawling from her chest to her cheeks. “You’re being nice already. Don’t ruin it by saying things that aren’t true. I-I’m too old for you and I don’t do outdoorsy stuff like you and I scream when creatures get in my house and I’m divorced and…”
Then his fingers were gripping the tip of her chin again, just as they had a month ago, and Remy tipped her head up until she had to meet his gaze. She didn’t expect him to have a lopsided smile.
“You’re not too old for me. It’s a good thing that you’re divorced. You being a Little is fantastic. If you want to try outdoorsy stuff, I’m happy to teach you and go on adventures with you, but it’s honestly fine if curling up in front of a fire with a book is more your speed. I like feeling useful and like you need me when you ask me to help with a bat or a spider. And you’re one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever met. I was jealous that your asshole ex married you before we’d even met, so I didn’t have a chance with you. But now I do.”
Whoa.
“Are…are you saying you want to be…”
The words wouldn’t come out. It felt like she was blowing candles out on a birthday cake and if she said her wish out loud, it wouldn’t come true. If this fantasy had any chance of becoming reality, then she didn’t want to ruin her chances by violating a superstition. Luckily there was no prohibition against someone else vocalizing a person’s desire, and Remy did just that.
“Am I saying I want to be your Daddy? Yes, if you’ll have me. To be honest, being here with you like this makes me feel like you’re my Little girl already.”
So it wasn’t just her. He liked this too, felt it too.
“Yes, please, Daddy.”
And then her Daddy kissed her. It was nothing short of magical, the way her body responded to him. The sensation of his mouth against hers made her melt at the same time she desperately wanted more. So nice of Remy to give it to her.
As per usual though, her busy, paranoid brain got in the way, and she pushed against his chest.
“But we’re neighbors. What if…”
She couldn’t bring herself to say it.
“What if it doesn’t work out?” he supplied, one of his brows kicking up.
“Yes. That would be awful. I’d never be able to look at you again. I?—”
“Would have to find someone else to haul your boxes and get rid of rodents?” he murmured, tucking some hair behind her ear before drawing his fingers through it. “No, you wouldn’t. I’d still do those things for you, no matter what happens. But I’ve got a question for you.”
“What is it?” she asked softly, not trusting her voice to stay steady.
Because sure, he said that, and she knew he meant it. She wasn’t questioning if he was a good, dependable, trustworthy person who would honor commitments they’d only imagined. It was more an issue of whether she’d be able to live next door, knowing what she’d had and lost, and still be able to get out of bed in the morning, never mind function.
“What if it does?”
A hundred images flitted through her mind of Remy being her Daddy. Sitting bundled up on his lap in front of a campfire, cooking together in her big kitchen, his handsome face hovering over her as they made love, holding hands as they walked through the woods, Remy giving her a private reading of one of her favorite books, being turned over his knee to have her bottom spanked… What if it did indeed?
“That would be really, really nice. But aren’t you the Daddy? Aren’t you supposed to be the cautious one?”
Remy shrugged his broad shoulders. “I promise I’ll always be careful with you. But it’s also my job as a Daddy to help my Little get everything they want out of life. And I’ve got a sneaking suspicion that you’re far better at denying yourself than you are at taking risks that might pay off.”
That was true. She wrung her hands in her lap nevertheless and her fretting was interrupted by Remy gripping her chin again. Would she ever get tired of that? Would it ever fail to send a cascade of arousal through her? She didn’t think so.
“No one knows the future, Little girl. And I can’t make promises about how things might turn out. What I do know is that I would regret it for the rest of my life if I failed to convince you to try.”
Nuala pinched her lips between her teeth.
“Isn’t it time for you to have what you’ve always wanted? I know you want this. You agreed off the bat, and now you’re letting yourself be plagued by doubts. Don’t keep this from yourself, Nuala. Don’t keep it from us.”
Remy had always thought of himself as a loyal, certain, straightforward kind of guy. He knew what he wanted and he went after it. He tried not to be stubborn—no sense in digging your heels into something that wasn’t working—or impulsive, but he’d never been more certain of anything in his life than that he could make Nuala Feury very, very happy.
He held his breath waiting what felt like forever but what must have only been a minute.
“Okay,” she agreed. “I want to try, but I’m scared. And I…I don’t know what I’m doing so you need to be patient with me, please.”
“Daddies are very patient,” he assured her. “And we’ll figure this out together as we go along. I promise that no matter what I ask of you, I’ll always have your best interests at heart, and I would give anything to keep you safe.”
“You did seem ready to tear poor Anthony limb from limb.”
“I absolutely was. Which reminds me, you should text him. And I owe you a door.”
Nuala’s dark brows creased in confusion. “A door?”
“Mmm, more like a window. In the door. That I broke. When I thought you were being assaulted.”
“Oh, well…”
The rosy spots against her pale skin made his embarrassment about his overreaction melt away. She was obviously flustered but not displeased. Which was a little funny given that he’d destroyed her property. He needed to at least get the glass cleaned up, so she didn’t get any in the soles of her feet, and cover up the window. And try to convince her to stay with him until he could get that door fixed—or if not, let him stay here.
“What?” he asked, trying to figure out what was going on in her head.
“It’s not at all politically correct.”
“Good thing I’m not in politics.”
“It’s just…” Nuala looked over his shoulder as if she might find the answer or at least her nerve there. “Cabot would never fight for me. And even though I can take care of myself, it’s nice to know you literally busted into my house ready to brawl, because you thought someone was hurting me. That’s all.”
“Any day, Nono. I’ll come to your rescue any day, for anything. Now why don’t you get in touch with Anthony while I clean up that mess? And then I’ll get you fed and cleaned up. What do you say?”
The smile that curled her lips made his heart light up like a neon sign.
“Yes, Daddy.”