12. Chapter 12
I sank neck-deep in the verbena-scented bath Agnes had ordered me to take. I was beginning to think that sweet, innocent girl had been possessed by the soul of some ancient warrior queen. One unflinching look from her, and I’d meekly undressed and climbed in without argument.
I couldn’t deny it was exactly what I needed. The tension of the day slowly melted into the steaming water, but just as my muscles began to unwind, a glowing portal shimmered into existence above me. A letter materialised and floated before my eyes, demanding my attention.
The moment I read it an icy chill settled over me. I tossed the letter and it landed on the floor, pristine despite my rough handling—yet another silent testament to the empress’ power. As if creating a portal to send it through wasn’t enough.
The message contained my instructions for the trial. No weapons. No armour. Only the ‘clothes of the penitent,’ which would be delivered later. I snorted at the absurdity. Someone clearly enjoys dressing up her playthings.
Ever since I’d agreed to the trial, I’d kept myself busy, trying to avoid thinking about it. But now, alone in the bath, intrusive thoughts threatened to choke me.
I should be preparing. But preparing for what ?
I knew how to fight the dark fae, and entering a portal didn’t take much unless I somehow forgot how to walk, but Alaric didn’t know what awaited me in the Dark Mother’s Temple, and I didn’t trust Valaram enough to ask.
‘ Vahin? ’ I tried to reach out to my dragon, desperate to feel his reassuring presence. But he was still too far away. While Orm had promised they would be back by tomorrow, flying day and night without rest would be arduous.
I had very little hope they would return in time. The journey to the borderlands took a full day under perfect conditions—clear skies, steady winds, and a direct path—and I doubted Orm and Vahin would be so fortunate. So, I tried to mentally prepare myself to face the trial alone.
If I could create a portal and bring them back ... I thought. But that was fae magic, instinctual to them and maddeningly complex for human mages.
My mind began to drift, thinking about it and mulling over the distinctive magical traits of the various races. Conduits were born almost exclusively to humans, and every dark fae seemed to be born with some form of necromancy, while mentalism was the domain of the light fae. All races had developed some form of combat magic, but humans excelled in it, and we had several bloodlines that produced primal-order paladins of legendary power. Then there was wild magic, which no one seemed to understand, except maybe the dragons and monsters, but none of them were sharing anything about the ferocious power.
My distraction lasted for a few minutes, but I’d never been interested in the academic side of magic and soon gave up. I left the bath before Agnes came back, knowing she would be displeased by my show of independence. My personal maid took her responsibility seriously. I indulged her because, for some inexplicable reason, it gave her so much pride and joy to wait on me that I didn’t have the heart to tell her I was perfectly capable of looking after myself.
Water dripped onto the stone floor as I stood before the mirror. I looked at my body, the muscles and scars from years of fighting monsters a reminder that I’d never shied away from a challenge. Despite that, when I looked at the emblem of my Anchor bonds, I felt my heart beat harder.
Come on, Ani. You’ve survived so much. You’ll survive this, too. You have to.
I repeated the words like a prayer, but the doubts I’d pushed away returned with a vengeance. How could one person stand against a power that predated humanity? Against politics that turned allies into foes, that stripped Dagome of all support, and threatened to kill my fae?
The room darkened as a draft from the open window snuffed out most of the candles. Wrapping a towel around myself, I abandoned the idea of finding a nightdress and crawled into bed, curling around the pillow that still smelled of musk and cloves.
‘My Ursus,’ I whispered, burying my face in the softness. ‘I need you so much.’
The tears came then, silent and bitter. For the world, for Alaric, even for Vahin, I was strong. But with Orm, I could just ... be. His love was an unyielding fortress, and as the fear of not being good enough—strong enough—choked me, I wished he was there to hold me.
A soft knock broke through my quiet sobs, and I hurriedly sat up, wiping my face. With a flick of my fingers, I coaxed the aether to extinguish the remaining candles, cloaking the room in shadow. I didn’t need Agnes to see me like this.
‘Enter.’
The door opened, and Alaric walked in carrying a tray that smelled of fish stew and freshly baked bread. It was my favourite comfort food. But tonight, the smell turned my stomach. Moonlight spilled through the window, highlighting the furrow in his brow as he scanned the room.
‘Why are you sitting in the dark?’
‘I’m tired and wanted to rest early. After all, I’ll need to be in top form tomorrow,’ I answered, injecting as much cheer into my voice as I could muster.
Alaric placed the tray on the nightstand, his expression unreadable as he stepped closer. Conjuring a soft light above us, he tilted my face to look up at him.
‘You lied to me,’ he said, his fingers brushing over the streaks my tears had left.
‘It’s nothing,’ I muttered, turning my head.
He sat next to me, pulling me close. ‘And now you’re lying to me again. What is it, Ani? Don’t hide from me, my love. If you’re trying to protect me, don’t. It will only make me worry more.’
‘I’m afraid. That’s it, I promise. I’m just afraid of tomorrow.’
‘I’m afraid, too. I can feel the icta poison coursing through my body, and I wish there was something I could say or do to stop you from going through the trial.’ I looked at him sharply. ‘But there’s nothing that would change your mind. I know you, Domina. I know that tomorrow, you will do whatever it takes to win. I don’t have faith in the Dark Mother’s mercy, but I have faith in you .’
His smile carried a hint of sadness as he bent to kiss the tip of my nose, and the tenderness in his eyes made my breath catch.
‘We can’t control what tomorrow brings,’ he said, his voice steady, ‘but let me hold you tonight. Rest will make it easier to face our fears.’
I nodded, shifting to make space for him on the bed. The silken sheets rustled as he slid in behind me, wrapping me in his warmth.
‘Sleep, my love,’ he murmured. ‘Whether or not I survive tomorrow, holding you brings me peace.’
I had no answer to that. Instead, I let his heartbeat lull me to sleep.
‘My lady, wake up! Please wake up! The fae came to take Master Alaric, and swords have been drawn.’
‘What?!’ I bolted upright, looking at the bed beside me only to find it empty. After Alaric cuddled me, he had stroked my back until I’d fallen into a deep, dreamless sleep, and I was still confused after being unceremoniously woken up.
Agnes threw a simple blouse and kirtle over my head, ignoring my curses as she helped me fight the unruly garment. A moment later, I rushed down the stairs towards the raised voices and unmistakable crackle of magic.
‘You are not taking me until my domina is aware of the situation.’ Alaric’s angry tone could be heard on the stairway. ‘I can’t disappear on her.’
‘What the fuck is going on?’ I shouted, charging down, ready to rip some heads off.
I pushed my way to stand between Alaric and the soldiers with their swords drawn. My magic flared to life, and the fool who had almost stabbed me in the stomach was about to learn that pissing off a mage before she’d had her breakfast was a bad idea.
‘Annika, no!’ Alaric caught my arm, but my anger needed an outlet.
‘Sheath your toothpick or I’ll melt it down and feed it to you,’ I growled at the soldier, grasping the sword and sending a wave of fire up the blade. The guard paled under his helmet but held the warping metal as he stumbled back.
‘I’m under orders from my empress,’ he stammered. ‘The accused must be delivered to the mages to prepare for the trial.’
‘And what preparation would that be?’ I snapped, though dread coiled in my stomach.
‘I’m not privy to the details, my lady,’ he said, his voice faltering. ‘But the empress foresaw your reluctance and instructed me to remind you that icta poison can only be neutralised once you reach the goddess.’
The stench of burnt flesh permeated the space before I realised my anger had infused my spell with too much power. I released the blade and turned towards Ari, finally allowing him to pull me to his side.
‘I have to go, Domina. I just didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye.’
‘She should have warned me about this instead of sending a useless letter,’ I said, swallowing hard.
I hadn’t expected this. I thought we would go to the arena together, and even if Alaric wouldn’t be fighting, at least he’d be there with me. Without Orm or Vahin, I needed him to keep me grounded, but the empress had apparently decided to strip me of any support.
‘No, this isn’t goodbye. Just ... wait for me and don’t let them hurt you, will you?’ I said, fighting back tears.
Alaric embraced me, his lips brushing over my forehead in a chaste kiss. Looking up into his eyes, I knew what he thought our chances were.
‘Always, my Domina,’ he whispered. ‘If death comes to take my soul, she will have to fight a very determined necromancer.’
He was cracking a joke for my sake. I nodded and forced a smile, pretending to play the game as he turned and left me standing on the stairs while the guards escorted him away.
I still had three more hours to go, three more hours to stew in my thoughts.
‘There, now you look every bit the veteran battle mage. Not a strand will dare slip loose,’ Anges said, tying off the intricate dragon braid she’d woven. ‘You could even hide a stiletto blade in here, disguised as a hairpin,’ she mused, looking at the many daggers Alaric had left behind that morning.
‘Your Ladyship isn’t allowed to take any weapons,’ a voice drawled from the doorway behind us, causing Agnes to jump and yelp.
I threw a bolt of energy towards the voice, only to see it stall near Valaram’s outstretched hand. The dark fae ambassador simply stood there, studying my impromptu creation with unbridled curiosity.
‘How interesting; you plucked the aether out of thin air. Impressive trick, my dear. You will certainly need it,’ he commented.
I rose to face him. ‘What the fuck are you doing here?’ I asked, fighting to calm my racing heart. I hadn’t heard him arrive or sensed a powerful mage, and that didn’t bode well for the upcoming trial.
‘I came to deliver your penitent’s robe,’ he said, dropping a package onto the table. ‘A ridiculous tradition, by my lady insists.’
He shifted his attention to Agnes. ‘Take it, child. Make it ready for your mistress. I need some time alone with her.’
Agnes stiffened. ‘No. You’ve already taken Master Alaric. Someone has to look after my lady, and I won’t leave her. You’ll have to kill me first.’
‘Should I grant your wish? I could kill you, then revive your corpse after I finish my conversation,’ he threatened, the corner of his lips tilting up when a pale Agnes turned towards me with a haunted expression.
‘Can he do that?’ she whispered, and I huffed, shaking my head.
‘No,’ I said firmly. ‘He’s just a man who thinks he has power here. However, I’d like you to do as he asked. I’ll be fine, I promise. Just make whatever’s in the package presentable.’
Agnes nodded before casually strolling to the table and taking the package, but as soon as the door closed behind her, I could hear the pounding of her feet as she ran down the stairs.
‘Curious little creature you have there,’ Valaram murmured as he approached me. ‘Curious and loyal.’
I took a step back, then another, but the further I retreated, the sharper his expression grew. Finally, there was nothing but the wall behind me and the looming fae in front of me. Time seemed to stretch as he leaned forward, bracing a hand against the wall beside me.
‘Are you afraid of me, Lady Annika?’ he murmured, his voice a silken trap.
‘Of course I am,’ I replied, lifting my chin. ‘I’ve fought Alaric. It’s given me a healthy respect for dark fae magic.’ My voice remained steady, though I frowned as he slowly wrapped my braid around his other hand.
‘Clever answer,’ he said, his tone laced with intrigue. ‘Would you give me another? Why do I keep seeing you? That scene in the throne room ... I can’t forget it.’
‘How should I know?’ My patience snapped. ‘And I have a question, too; I want to know what the fuck you think you’re doing. Get out of my face before I punch—’
Before I could finish, he dared to press a finger to my lips, silencing me.
My knee shot up and Valaram crumpled, a gasping laugh escaping his lips as he fell back several steps.
‘Just what is so funny?’ I was utterly baffled by his behaviour. Why was an elegant and experienced diplomat acting like some horny teenager?
‘You are, Annika,’ he said. ‘Humans don’t live long enough to become interesting, yet you fascinate me like no other.’
I blinked at him, wary as his expression shifted from one of mischief to seriousness once he’d recovered from my assault. ‘I am here to remind you of the trial’s rules. You’re forbidden from carrying weapons into the arena. To seek the Dark Mother’s mercy, you must demonstrate absolute faith—hence the penitent’s robe and annoying rituals. But heed my advice: though you can’t enter with a weapon, you can leave with one. What you gain in honest combat is yours to keep. And you’ll need every advantage when you pass through the portal.’
That nugget of information was worth its weight in gold, and I understood why he had insisted on making Agnes leave. If his empress learned he was telling me this, I didn’t think even the Dark Mother’s mercy would save him from that vicious woman.
‘Why are you risking helping me?’ I asked quietly, narrowing my eyes as he took a step closer.
‘Because I believe the Lich King must be destroyed, not appeased. The only way my sister will change her mind is if the goddess blesses those willing to fight him.’ A shadow of doubt crossed his face before he added, ‘And because I want you to win, lara’mei. A woman like you deserves more than two mates, and those chosen by the goddess have the pick of any male in our empire.’
Well, that escalated quickly.
‘You mean I can choose you?’ I asked, rolling my eyes when he inclined his head in agreement. ‘No, thank you. I already have one dark fae in my bed; I’ve no room for another,’ I said, but Valaram only smiled.
‘I’m a patient and persuasive man. I can wait until you change your mind.’
‘Maybe you can, but I’ll be long dead by then,’ I answered with a shrug, ignoring the twitch of his jaw. ‘Now tell me what other surprises your empress has in store for me.’
‘No surprises, lara’mei,’ he replied. ‘All you have to do is to open the portal. Once you cross over with Alaric, the rest will just happen.’
‘Can Alaric open the portal? Is he coming with me or are you sending me all alone like a lamb to slaughter?’
He shook his head. ‘You are no lamb, and yes, Alaric can, but not without you. He was taken to learn the spell, but the portal requires blood. You must be willing to fight for your mate, to bleed for him,’ he said, pausing for a moment. ‘Once you’re through, you’ll be in another plane with its own rules. If you succeed in entering the Dark Mother’s domain, nothing will be as it seems—even time passes differently.’
‘Wonderful, so I’ll arrive on the divine plane wounded and bleeding?’ I asked, incredulous. ‘And I’m supposed to take Alaric with me, but won’t he be sick from the icta poison? Am I supposed to find a magical herb to heal him or something?’ I bit my lip before asking, ‘Do you really think I’ll encounter her, or is it just another fable?’
‘The goddess’ mercy will purge him,’ Valaram said simply. ‘That is the legend.’
‘And what of the goddess herself? Does the legend say how to charm her? Is there a specific offering or prayer that might win her favour?’ His only answer was a slightly raised eyebrow. ‘You know what, never mind, I’ll think of something when I get there.’
Just then, the door burst open, and Agnes stormed in, shaking a white scrap of fabric in her fist.
‘They are trying to humiliate you, Ani. This rag will barely cover your tits!’ she fumed, blushing when she noticed Valaram still there, standing in the shadows.
‘Yes, I’m still here,’ he said, unbothered. ‘Now, dress your lady so I can escort her to the arena.’
He settled into a chair uninvited, and I stepped behind the privacy screen. Fighting him would have been pointless. The look he gave me told me that no matter how nicely I asked, the dark fae wouldn’t be leaving.