13
The roaring fire cast shadows onto the walls of the longhouse as Nicholas stood by the entrance, his gaze fixed on the endless expanse of the starlit sky. He breathed in deeply, feeling the cold air sting his lungs, a sharp reminder of how far he had come since arriving in the Viking settlement fifteen years ago. A part of him found solace among these fierce warriors who valued loyalty, bravery, and honor above all else. Yet with each breath, each time he closed his eyes, she was there, calling to him, and the pull to return to Sophia was an ache deep in his bones.
”Nicholas,” a voice called out, breaking him from his thoughts. His brother Alec walked towards him, a mischievous grin on his face. His smile revealed a gap between his front teeth, giving him a boyish charm. ”You”re brooding again. What are you thinking about?”
”Nothing,” Nicholas lied. He did not burden Alec with his own thoughts. They had both made sacrifices, adapting to their new lives and roles within the village. Alec had adjusted well over the years, growing into a man. It was the reason why they went to the past, and Nicholas was proud of him.
”Come on, brother,” Alec said, slapping Nicholas on the back. ”The night is young, and I know a willing maid eager for my company. I am sure you could find one as well.” Alec was tall and broad-shouldered, with a thick beard and a wild mane of dark hair. His eyes were bright blue, and they sparkled mischievously in the firelight. Deep and booming, his voice was filled with confidence as he spoke of the willing maidens waiting for him. Nicholas could hear the hint of teasing and playfulness in his tone, a young man who had certainly learned how to enjoy the pleasures of life.
Nicholas shook his head, putting his brother off. In the past, he would have been horrified to see his sweet younger brother transformed into the village harlot, but time had taught him that people adapted, sometimes in unexpected ways. He couldn”t deny that Alec had found a measure of contentment in his newfound role, even if it made Nicholas uncomfortable. Here in the village, he at least had some measure of control over his brother; when they returned to the future, however, it would end. Alec was meant to assume a life with the Keepers, an adult in charge of his own life in the twenty-first century. To Nicholas, the idea was a strange one, as so much of his life was spent on a quest to save Alec. Now, with the resolution of that journey so near, Nicholas dared to consider his own future. The reality of building a life with Sophia, unencumbered by the demons of his past, was tantalizingly within reach. And he wanted it.
”Go ahead, enjoy yourself,” Nicholas said, forcing a smile. ”Just be careful.”
”Always,” Alec replied with a wink, disappearing into the darkness.
As Nicholas watched his brother walk away, he realized that some things couldn”t be changed, no matter how hard one tried.
”Brooding again?” Olaf asked, approaching him with a tankard of mead in hand. ”You should join us. The feast is far from over.”
Nicholas accepted the drink, taking a long sip to numb the ache inside. ”Thanks, Olaf,” he said quietly. ”But I think I”ll stay here for a while longer.”
”Suit yourself,” Olaf replied, clapping him on the shoulder before returning to the festivities.
Alone once more, Nicholas stared into the night sky, wondering if Sophia still thought of him as he did her. In his darkest moments, it comforted him to know that their time apart was only a brief interlude for her. For him, it was fifteen years. For her, it would be only a few months. She would barely miss him by the time he returned.
He closed his eyes. He would not let the distance, nor the years apart, break his resolve. Alec did not need him any longer. Nicholas was ready to close the book on that part of their lives. He would find his way back to Sophia, and the time was near.
As Nicholas stood at the edge of the village the next day, the cold wind biting his cheeks and ruffling his dark hair, he considered joining the other men. He watched as the villagers went about their daily tasks, their lives dictated by the rising and setting of the sun, and wondered if he would ever see them again once he left. He imagined it would not affect them, as they had known him to come and go throughout the years. He would be just another Traveler to them, whispered about in tales to young children.
”Nicholas,” a voice called out, pulling him from his thoughts. He turned to find himself face-to-face with old Einar. He was an uncle to Olaf, and had always treated Nicholas with respect. The man”s eyes held a gleam of concern and reproach, as if he could sense the inner turmoil brewing within Nicholas. ”You do not join the others,” Einar said softly. ”Not the way your brother does.”
Nicholas sighed, closing his arms over his chest. ”You know I never stay, Einar,” he replied, his voice careful. ”This is a long time in one place for me.”
”Yes, I know. Have you considered this is the path you are meant to walk?” Einar asked, placing a hand on Nicholas”s shoulder. ”You have made a good life here. There is no need to abandon it.”
Before Nicholas could respond, Olaf”s sister-in-law, Ingrid, crossed the village square on her way toward them. She moved with grace and confidence, her dark hair streaming behind her. As a younger man, he had come to know her well, and he was happy for her when she found a husband. However, her husband died the summer before, and since then, she had made no effort to hide her desire to rekindle things with Nicholas. As they were both part of the same household, it was an uncomfortable position, but one he managed most days without hurting her pride too much.
”Ah, Ingrid,” Einar remarked, following Nicholas”s gaze. ”She is quite a remarkable woman, isn”t she?”
”Indeed,” Nicholas agreed, his voice tempered. He did not want to give the other man any cause to think a match might be made.
”Good day, Nicholas,” she greeted warmly, her blue eyes sparkling like the summer sky. ”I was hoping to find you here. Olaf mentioned you might be in need of company.”
Nicholas forced a smile, attempting to maintain the illusion of normalcy. She was kin to Olaf, and he did not want to treat her coarsely. ”Your company is always welcome, Ingrid,” he replied, trying to ignore the larger intent behind her words.
As they walked together, side by side, he kept a respectful distance, not wanting to give her any cause for hope of something more between them. Sometimes, when Ingrid prattled along about one thing or another, he could pretend it was Sophia’s voice that he listened to.
”Are you well, Nicholas?” Ingrid asked softly, her concern evident in her gaze. ”You seem...troubled.”
”There are some matters on my mind,” he confessed cryptically, avoiding her probing stare. ”But it is good to walk, and forget about them for now.”
Ingrid”s cheeks flushed with a hint of pink, but she didn”t look away. Nicholas sighed, avoiding her stare.
“Olaf said a man offered for you,” Nicholas commented, hoping to change the dynamic in the air. She snorted her displeasure, rolling her eyes.
“Ranar is a fool. I won’t marry him,” she announced.
“You should,” Nicholas replied curtly.
“Why must you hurt me this way, Nicholas?” she asked. She grabbed his arm, and he reluctantly stopped walking.
“I have made no promises to you, and you know that,” he said, as gently as he could muster. It was unlike her to be so bold, yet he had seen the issue stirring inside her over the last few weeks, since Olaf began to arrange a marriage for her.
“No, you never made promises, Nicholas. But you were the first man I ever laid with, and I want you to be the last. We could have a good life together. Have I not been good to you, have I not cared for your brother all these years, embraced you both as family? It was not for my sister, or for Olaf that I did that. Surely you know, I never forgot you. Even when you left me without even a farewell.”
He cleared his throat. They were young when they were lovers, and he did not know she was a maid. He was not sure if she was being truthful, or simply using it to further bend him, but it did not matter. That was part of his life before Sophia. After Sophia, all other entanglements ceased to exist.
“You are a good woman, Ingrid,” he said quietly. “You should marry a man who wants you.” He left the rest unspoken, unwilling to say the words so callously, but by the fury in her eyes he could see she understood him quite well.
He shoved his hands in his trousers and set off alone, not sure if he disliked himself more for walking with her, or for so callously shutting her down without a regret.
The sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm glow on the settlement and bathing the surrounding landscape in hues of gold and amber. In the heart of the village, Nicholas stood beside his brother Alec, their hands working in unison as they labored to repair a damaged roof alongside Olaf and his family.
”Hand me another nail, brother,” Alec called out, grinning as he wiped the sweat from his brow. Nicholas obliged, passing him the metal spike with nimble fingers that had grown accustomed to the toils of manual labor.
As they worked, laughter and lively conversation filled the air, creating an atmosphere of camaraderie that was unsettling for Nicholas. He did not wish to dwell on belonging, knowing that his time here was borrowed at best and coming rapidly to an end. It had been days since he was honest with himself and admitted Alec no longer needed him—and that meant that finally, he was free to return to the future.
”Your skill improved this season,” Olaf said, clapping him on the back. ”It”s hard to imagine you and Alec arrived just fifteen years ago. It was like neither of you fools ever picked up a hammer.”
”Your guidance made it easier for us,” Nicholas replied, a grin edging his lips, happy to compliment his old friend.
”Tell me, Nicholas,” Olaf began, his tone serious as he studied his friend”s face. ”Do you ever think about leaving? About returning to the place you came from? I keep wondering when I will wake up and you will be gone, the way you used to, only to stumble back here months later with some grand story or another about your travels.”
Nicholas hesitated, caught off guard by Olaf”s intuition. His eyes flickered to Alec, who was now laughing and joking with Olaf”s children. He knew that it would be difficult for Alec to leave, as his brother had found solace and purpose in this world.
”I do,” he admitted quietly. ”I have a life to return to that I am ready to live. But I know Alec is happy with the life we have built here.”
”Ah,” Olaf nodded, his gaze softening with understanding. ”I cannot say it is an easy choice, my friend. You are a man who carries the weight of the world on his shoulders. But know this: if you ever decide to leave, you will always be welcome in our home.”
”Thank you, Olaf,” Nicholas said, touched by the sentiment.
As the last rays of sunlight vanished behind the hills and the sky shifted into twilight, Nicholas found himself watching Alec. Together, they had forged a life in this time, participating in daily activities and forming deep connections. And yet, even amidst the warmth and acceptance of Olaf”s family, the grip of impermanence lingered, knowing that his heart still belonged to a future time, where his life would finally begin.
He sighed, wondering if it was possible to reconcile the conflicting desires that threatened to tear him apart. And as he looked upon the faces of those he had come to care for, he knew that, soon, he would leave them – and he hoped that they would remember him with fondness when he left.
The fire crackled in the hearth, casting flickering shadows on the walls of Olaf”s longhouse as Nicholas stroked the worn leather bindings of an ancient tome. He was lost in thought, his mind occupied with the weight of how to talk to Alec about what he meant to do. The laughter and chatter of Olaf”s family filled the room, a stark contrast to the storm brewing inside him.
”Nicholas,” Alec called, pulling him from his silence. ”You”ve been lost in that book for hours. What’s so exciting?”
”Nothing,” Nicholas lied, glancing up at his brother.
Alec narrowed his eyes, skepticism clear on his face. ”I know you better than that.”
”Very well,” Nicholas sighed, closing the book with a soft thud. He could put it off no longer, and Alec was like a dog with a bone once he sank in his teeth. ”I”ve been thinking about the future, and our place in it.”
”Ah,” Alec replied, understanding dawning in his eyes. ”You still plan to return to Sophia, don”t you?”
”Of course,” Nicholas answered, his voice barely above a whisper. ”It was always the plan. We were never meant to stay here forever.”
”Even if it means leaving all our friends behind?” Alec gestured around the room, his voice tinged with bitterness. ”Leaving me?”
”I would never abandon you,” Nicholas said, reaching out to grasp Alec”s arm. ”You have a place in the future, a family there who is waiting for us both to return. But you are no longer a child. I cannot make you leave if you wish to stay.” It pained him to finally say the words out loud, those truths he came to realize between them. Alec’s face betrayed a different truth, however, and his eyes narrowed into a heated glare.
”You would never abandon me?” Alec snapped, jerking away from Nicholas”s touch with a bitter laugh. ”That’s exactly what you’re doing. She’s always been more important to you. I’m surprised you even stayed this long.”
”Is that truly how you feel, Alec?” Nicholas asked, his voice cracking with pain. ”That I care more for her than I do for you?”
”Sometimes, yes!” Alec shouted, his words echoing through the longhouse. ”You”ve spent years building a life here with me, but now you’ve made up your mind to leave. When I was a boy, you did not ask me if I wanted to come here, you just made me do it. Now, you’ve decided we are leaving, and again, I have no say. Do I matter to you at all, brother?”
”Your happiness means the world to me,” Nicholas said, his heart aching. Alec would never know all the things Nicholas had done, all the laws he had broken, all the wrongs he thrust on others, in his singular mission to give Alec a future. He did not need to know those things, as they driven by love for his brother, yet when Alec threw them in his face, it tore a hole in Nicholas’s blackened heart.
”I have never stopped doing the best I could to give you a good life,” Nicholas continued. “You know we always meant to return to the future. I don”t want to lose you. But you are a man now, and if you wish to remain, I will not stand in your way. That is all I ever wanted for you, to make your own life, to have your own future.”
”Then let me stay here,” Alec demanded, his voice softening. ”Let me be happy in this life we”ve built, while you go back to her. Maybe that”s what needs to happen. Perhaps I need to stay here,” Alec whispered, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. ”For both of us to find our happiness.”
“Alec—”
“The men are leaving in the morning on a raid. I plan to go with them,” Alec said, his voice rigid now. Nicholas closed his eyes briefly and nodded, resigning himself to what must be. He gave his brother no argument, and he suspected it stung Alec, as much as it did him.
And as the fire continued to crackle in the hearth and the shadows danced upon the walls, the silence widened. Alec, his eyes glistening, turned away. He left the longhouse, and Nicholas remained behind.
The next morning the sun rose in a burst of warm light, casting long shadows on the earth as Nicholas found his brother sitting alone by the water”s edge. The air was thick with tension, simmering with a dispute unresolved.
”May I sit?” Nicholas asked, weary.
Wordlessly, Alec nodded. They sat side by side, their shoulders touching, as they watched the gentle waves lap at the shore.
”Last night,” Nicholas began hesitantly, ”I did not talk to you before I made my decision. I suppose I am not yet used to you being grown. A part of me will always see you as my little brother. I am sorry for not truly listening to you.”
Alec sighed, his eyes never leaving the horizon. ”You have always been my protector, Nicholas. But sometimes, it feels like you”re suffocating me.”
”Perhaps I have been too overbearing,” Nicholas admitted, his gaze downcast. ”But you are my brother. I will always be here for you, no matter where our paths may lead us in this long immortal life.”
”As I will be there for you, when you have need,” Alec replied softly, finally turning to look at Nicholas. Their eyes locked, and for a moment, all that existed were the two brothers, united once more.
”Whatever you decide, Alec,” Nicholas continued, his voice barely above a whisper, ”Be safe. I cannot force you to return to the future with me, but please, do not doubt you will always have a home there, with us, if you tire of adventure.”
”Thank you, Nicholas,” Alec murmured, a tear rolling down his cheek. Alec quickly wiped it away. ”I know how much Sophia means to you. I am happy you will return to her. You both deserve happiness.”
They clasped their hands. The decision was made.
As the morning wore on, they spent their remaining hours in quiet companionship, cherishing the bond that had weathered countless storms. And as the sun blazed high overhead, painting the sky in shades of silver and gold, Nicholas prepared himself for what would come next.
He watched as the villagers prepared the ship to depart. Husbands and sons were leaving, and their women were intent to see to their needs for their long voyage. Nicholas stood on the dock, his heart heavy with the weight of goodbyes.
”Take care of yourself,” he said, embracing Alec tightly.
”Be happy, brother,” Alec replied, his voice choked. ”Give Sophia my love.”
As Alec boarded the ship, Nicholas felt the loss settle heavy in his chest. He watched as the vessel began to pull away from the dock, cutting through the mist that hung over the fjord like a knife.
”Wait!” A familiar voice rang out, echoing over the distance.
Alec leaped from the ship, splashing into the water before swimming back to shore. His eyes were alight with determination as emerged from the river. Nicholas ran to meet him, his heart racing.
”I can”t let you go alone,” he declared, water dripping from his clothes. ”What if you need my help? I’m much stronger than you, and you know it.”
Nicholas stared at him, his eyes burning at the causal arrogance his brother so easily resumed. ”Are you sure?” he asked, struggling to contain his grateful grin.
”More than anything,” Alec confirmed, his gaze unwavering. ”You are my brother. Who else will protect you?”
”Yeah,” Nicholas grinned. ”Who else?”
”Are you ready?” Nicholas asked, his voice barely audible above the crashing waves. He placed his hand on the handle of the bloodstone dagger at his waist, and Alec nodded.
”Always,” Alec replied.
With a shared glance, they turned to face the unknown. The past was behind them, but their future lay waiting.