Off Limits PUCK (Love on Ice #1)

15. Allie

Chapter fifteen

Allie

“ I t’s just a headache,” I tell Kenz. She’s getting dressed up in the Eagles’ team colors, wearing her brother’s jersey over her tank top.

She flops on the bed beside me. She places a hand on my forehead. “You aren’t feverish. You don’t look sick. I don’t get it. Why would you not want to come to the game today?” She narrows her eyes at me. “You did not have a falling out with Jake, did you?”

I leveled with her yesterday and I repeat myself today. “Coach told me to go no contact with him. He told me to lay low, that I’m a distraction. And he told me in no uncertain terms that my job depended on me obeying him. He’s not a man to be disobeyed, Kenz.” I stare at her, my gut churning.

I hate being away from Jake when so much is at stake. I hate that I have to stay away when everything in me just wants to be another supporter in his orbit—like the other staff for the team are. I don’t need to have those hazel eyes looking at me with hunger like they used to. I just need… I don’t know. To be near him.

“Since when do you let someone boss you around?” she asks, totally out of reality when it comes to my job and how much I need it.

I facepalm and groan. “You don’t get it! I need this job on my resume! I can’t get fired. That would blacklist me from any job that would require me to work on men.”

She purses her lips, taking my hand. “I get it. It would be bad for you to get fired. But I think this is also bad for you. Look, I’m not a fan of you being with Jake. I’ve said it a hundred times, but I’ll say it again—it’s so gross to me. He’s my freaking brother and you’re my best friend in all the world.”

I reach out and hug her impulsively.

She hugs me back, saying over my shoulder. “It’s just… you two were like really, really into each other that morning I walked in on you. And now you’re letting some old guy—”

I chortle and pull back, looking at her incredulously. “Old guy? He’s the coach of the Eagles!” I laugh despite myself. “Not some random old guy with opinions that don’t matter. His opinions matter.”

Kenz makes a face. “Well, you’re letting him control you. And Jake is too.”

I frown, holding up my phone. “Your brother has not texted me once. Not to say hi. Not to ask for anything. Nothing. He leaves early for the rink and comes back late. Then yesterday, Coach told me to go home for the night. He’s like a hawk watching every single thing Jake and I do.”

“Jake hasn’t texted me either except to confirm that the access code to the suite the players’ families use is the same, so I can get in it today.” She grabs my arm and tries to pull me up. “And that’s why I need you to get your butt up and come with me. I don’t want to sit there all by myself with all the other players’ families. Come with me, Allie. He’ll never see you up there.”

“Who? Jake or Coach?” I say grumpily.

“No one on the ice can see up there. Please. Come with me.” She grins as she sees me relent without saying a word. “Free food and the best view in the house.”

She hurries me out of bed and I get ready fast, but every five minutes I’m checking my phone, wondering why Jake hasn’t texted me and wondering if I should text him. I better not. If Coach gets wind of a personal communication—or any communication—between us, then it won’t go great for me. I’ve been pushed to the side now that Jake seems to be healthy and whole again. I have a strong feeling that once he gets through the first few games without incident, I’ll be demoted to working on one of the bench warmers. My expertise won’t be needed with Jake and Coach will make damn sure his star player is not distracted by me ever again.

“Dummy,” I chastise myself. I wish I had never slept with the guy. If it impacts my career the way I fear it will, it will end up being the dumbest decision of my life. I still haven’t looked up Jake online, nor did Kenz actually come clean to me about what she knows about Jake that day I asked her to. She had a fit of conscience and ended up telling me to just talk to him about it. But I never did.

I regret that now. I get ready for the game and imagine all the girls he’s been with and who he might have called last night to come over for comfort and sex to burn off steam before his big game today. Since it wasn’t me there with him, I’m sure he easily found a replacement. I shudder. This whole “no contact” thing is definitely for the best. I’m not sure I can live with the knowledge of all the women who have enjoyed his naked body before me.

“Ready?” Kenz says too brightly.

An hour later, we make our way into the arena. I insisted we use the main entrances like all the other fans here today. I pretended that I just wanted the full experience with her, but really, I didn’t want to take the players’ entrance and risk seeing Jake. Somehow, I think Kenz understood. She didn’t put up a fight.

I look around me in the multi-story lobby of the building, seeing huge posters of Jake everywhere. Kids and adults alike run around with his jersey on, excited for the game. Kenz and I take a loop around the arena and then take an elevator up to the private suites. Cold air from the arena still reaches way up at the top of the building. The view is incredible. Kenz is absolutely right. There’s no way that Jake will be able to see us up here.

I start to relax as other players’ families show up. Kenz and I snack on some of the hot buffet foods there and I sip on a diet soda. As the players finally take to the ice for their warm up an hour before the game is supposed to start, I lose myself in the cheering and chanting for the Eagles. Thousands of voices join together in a chant of “Eagles, Eagles” while the music plays and the voice of the announcer booms above the throngs of people.

Kenz and I grin at each other, finding a seat at the front of the suite that overlooks the ice far, far below. We join in the cheering during the warmup and then sit and gossip about her latest dating partner, Daniel. Life feels great. It feels normal, the way it did before I started hooking up with Jake.

I realize I had let myself get a little lost in him. And that was a mistake. I have my own life, my own ambitions, my own dreams to go chase. He’s here today as the star of the NHL Eagles, chasing his own dreams. And I was such a fool to think that I had any part of that. I start to think how right Coach was to pry Jake and me apart from each other.

He’s down there now getting ready for the game to start, ready to show the world what he’s capable of. And I’m up here refocused on my career, on all the things that I want to accomplish for myself.

When Kenz jumps up ten minutes before the game is supposed to start, claiming to need to use the bathroom, I take the opportunity to check my email alerts. I had never unsubscribed from the alert emails that notify me of job openings for a physical therapist. I scroll through the fifteen emails unread in my inbox. Maybe, just maybe, I have enough experience with the Eagles for me to use that as a springboard to a different job, one that is far away from Jake and all that he tempts me with.

It’s just a crush leftover from childhood. Nothing more. Maybe I’ve gotten it all out of my system by now. In fact, I’m sure that I have. And since I’m dreaming big, why not be bold and ask Coach for a recommendation? Maybe with his endorsement and his good referral, I can land a job with an all-women sports team.

I’m still lost in my lofty thoughts of all that is possible outside of working with the Eagles when the lights go low and the music blares again. The team is on the ice and the game is about to start. I look for Kenz but don’t see her.

As everyone in the crowd starts to chant, I join them, my heart lighter now that I have a plan of escape from the clutches of my own lustfulness for Jake. I lift my arms up and clap over my head along with everyone else. I can feel the eyes of a thousand people on me as I cheer, dancing and laughing, lost in the happiness of the moment.

I grow self-conscious for just a moment before I realize that I’m on the Jumbotron. Everyone seated below the suites has turned to look at me, cheering at me. I wonder how long I’ve been on the huge screens for all the arena to see.

I grin and wave, inwardly wishing the camera would just move on. Then, I feel Kenz beside me, really hamming it up. I take the opportunity to step aside, seeing her be featured on the Jumbotron instead of me.

Then the cameras pan to the ice, and on the big screen I see him. Jake. He’s caught mid-stare, looking up at the Jumbotron where my face was just featured. He looks grim, standing there, hockey stick in hand, helmet on as the team takes the customary position for the puck drop.

I see him jerk his eyes away once he sees the cameras on him. I look down at the ice far, far below me. Everyone is ready to go, but not Jake. He’s standing while his opponent is crouched over, stick at the ready. The whistle blows and Jake suddenly gets into position, ready to win the puck drop and send the puck over to his teammates.

But he doesn’t win the puck drop. The opponent does. Kenz groans as the whole stadium boos—not at Jake but at the opposing team who takes possession of the puck, sliding it over the ice amongst themselves in an effort to set up for a shot in the net.

I slump in my seat, feeling like it’s all my fault. Coach sent me home so I wouldn’t be a distraction to Jake. And here I am, so caught up in the happiness of my little career plan, in the excitement of the arena, that I allowed the cameras to stay on me, parading myself like that for Jake to see.

I’m so caught up in my own feelings that I am the last person in the whole arena to realize that Jake just went down on the ice, crumpled up while the referee’s whistle shrieks and all the suits behind the players’ bench rush to the ice to Jake’s side.