Off-Limits Roomates

27. Ella

27

***Ella***

“ W atch out! You’re going to ruin our streak!” I leaned forward on the couch and slapped Fisher’s shoulder. “Go!”

“You’re stressing me out! If I lose, it’s your fault!” He jammed at the controller for all he was worth. “My fingers are too damn big for this!”

Booth scoffed. “Fuck off with that. If I can do it, so can you.”

I jumped off the couch when Fisher died in the game and stood in front of him with a disappointed look on my face. “You had one job. How the hell did you manage to lose? Now we have to start over and you saw how hard that first boss was.”

He tugged me to the floor next to him and covered my mouth with his hand. “Do you hear anything, Booth?”

I bit his hand and laughed when he let me go. “You’re stronger but I’m smarter.”

“Or mouthier.” Fisher saw my hand coming his way and caught it. “Definitely mouthier.”

“I’m going to get another drink. You should spend some time thinking about what you did.” I stood up and nodded at Booth. “Make sure he’s feeling guilty for killing us.”

Their laughter followed me to the kitchen as I pulled out the pitcher of sangria we’d made earlier. It was all for me since the guys thought wine was gross. They were sticking to beer. They’d won another game that morning and we were celebrating their win. Vaughn thought they were crazy for staying in since he was going to what he called ‘the biggest party of the year’. Crazy, or not, they’d stayed in with me and we were having a blast. We’d played a bunch of games and even watched a few episodes of a show Booth liked. Dinner was pizza ordered in and dessert was a pie I’d baked for their win. I’d even put their numbers on the crust and I’d made it the day before since I knew they’d win.

I grabbed them two more beers and made my way back into the living room. They’d apparently made an executive decision and the game had been turned off for a football game. I settled on the couch between them and huffed. “That’ll teach me to be a good errand girl.”

“This is supposed to be a good game. We play Georgia in three weeks. Consider this homework.” Fisher took his beer from me and tapped it against Booth’s. “Go Crocs.”

I tried to pay attention to the game but I just didn’t care about it if I wasn’t watching the guys play. I decided it was a good time to call Mom. “I’ll be upstairs. I’m going to call my mom.”

Booth booed me. “Don’t leave us. If it’s just the two of us here, it really is sad that we stayed home.”

“What the hell? It’s not sad. I like hanging with you, asshole.” Fisher turned his attention to me. “But, seriously, we stayed home for you. You could always talk to your mom here.”

I made a horrified face as I shook my head hard enough to send my ponytail flying. “Nope. Not a chance in hell. My mom isn’t a speakerphone mom. She’s more of a hide in a closet and turn your phone volume as low as it’ll go mom. I’ll be back, though. Just watch your football and keep each other entertained.”

I didn’t give them a chance to object. Rushing upstairs, I flopped out on my bed and dialed Mom. As soon as she answered, I knew it was going to be a doozy of a conversation. I could hear her shouting at someone before greeting me in a kind tone. “Mom? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, and your brother had a bigger dick, asshole! Don’t come back!” She cleared her throat. “Oh, yeah, sweetie. I’m great. How are you?”

“What’s going on there?”

“Oh, I was just asking my date to leave. That’s all.” She grunted. “Men are so sensitive these days.”

“Where are you? Did you bring a random guy home? What did I say about not handling becoming an adult orphan very well?”

“He wasn’t a stranger. I slept with his brother a few weeks ago. Nice family.” I could practically see her waving my concerns off. “Anyway. You didn’t answer me. How are you?”

“I’m fine, Mom.”

“Why aren’t you out celebrating? Your team won today. You should be getting drunk by now.”

I smiled. “I stayed home with Fisher and Booth. I made your famous sangrias.”

“Wait a minute. You stayed home with Fisher and Booth? Where’s Vaughn?” She knew all about my roommates. Just not that I’d slept with two of them. No one needed to know that.

“Out.” I clutched Connie to my chest. “I hardly see him if it’s not our tutoring time.”

“And how does he feel about you staying home alone with his two roommates?”

“Fine.” Even I could hear how my voice had gone higher with the lie. “Everything’s fine.”

“Which one did you fool around with?” She listened to my silence for fifteen whole seconds before she cackled. “I was just teasing! I never thought you had that in you. Good for you, Ella Rae. It’s about time you had sex with someone besides that Billy asshole.”

“Mom! I’m not talking to you about this.”

“Why not? I want to know. Which one did you sleep with? Let me pull up that picture you sent me.” She sighed dreamily. “The one with the dimples reminds me of this guy I knew from my first job. He was a giant. Everywhere. I walked like someone had kicked me in the vagina for a week after that.”

“Mom! Oh, my god. This is so wrong for me to hear!” I pulled Connie over my face and screamed into him. “When I come back home this summer, we’re going to family therapy.”

“Great. We can work on your prudish ways. You didn’t get those from me. Maybe it was a dormant trait from your grandmother. God knows she had a stick up her ass the size of a telephone pole.” Mom seemed to realize what she’d said. “May she rest in peace.”

“She’s going to haunt you one of these days.” Wanting to change the subject, I brought up baked goods. “I made her recipe for apple pie yesterday. It was delicious.”

“You’re not cheating me out of this information today, Ella. Which one did you sleep with?”

I groaned. “Mom!”

“Ella!”

“Both!” I gasped and slapped my hand over my mouth. Betrayed by my own mouth wasn’t the way I thought I’d go out, but there wasn’t a chance in hell that I wasn’t dying of embarrassment after blurting that out.

“Ella Rae. I can not tell you just how deeply impressed I am. Of course, my daughter bagged two complete hotties. I’m so proud!” The sound of her clapping her hands together showed just how genuinely happy she was.

“You’re not a normal mother. You know that, right?”

“Thank god for that. Is it good sex? I know you weren’t having good sex with your ex. I hope these two were better.”

I sat straight up. “How did you know that?”

“Well, for starters, how uptight you were. Also, I accidentally read the journal you keep on your computer.” She rushed to explain herself. “I was looking for something else! It was open and before I knew it, I’d already read all about Billy not being the best at sex. You were so sweet, though! Too sweet. You have to make sure you find a man who can make you orgasm. So? Do these guys?”

“Mom. If I didn’t think you’d get on the first plane here, I’d tell you that I’m cutting you out of my life. Why would you read that?! And why would you talk to me about it now?” I stood up and paced. “None of my other friends have ever mentioned their moms talking to them about orgasms. You know that, right?”

“I’m sorry that I’m a cool mom. I’m just not sexually constipated, Ella.” She sniffed. “My mom read me bible verses while telling me that sex was a horrible sin. The first time I had sex I cried like a baby and told my boyfriend that I was going to burn in a lake of fire. He dumped me right then and there. I didn’t want that for you. I wanted you to be free to do whatever you wanted.”

I sighed. “I don’t really want to cut you out of my life.”

“You’d be lost without me. I keep you on your toes. When you’re a fancy lawyer and someone tries to throw you a curveball, you’ll be so prepared for it because of the way I raised you.”

“You’re right. I’m not saying thank you, though.” I laid face down on my bed and groaned before turning my face to the side so I could talk. “They were amazing. That’s all I’m saying.”

She screamed in my ear. “Yes! You deserve a good dicking do-”

“Mom?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m going to hang up now. I love you.”

She laughed. “That’s fine. I have a meeting with a doctor in an hour.”

“What? Is everything okay? Why are you meeting a doctor this late?”

Before she spoke, I realized I’d walked into another sex story. “Clive is a gynecologist. After I kicked my date out a few minutes ago, I texted Clive. Clive knows where the g-spot is and how to work it.”

“When did you have time to text Clive?” I cringed. “You set up a booty call while you were talking to me, didn’t you?”

“Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to, honey. I love you! Go have sex!”

I ended the call and groaned into my bed.

“Clive sounds nice.” Booth sounded like he was holding back a laugh.

I shook my head and spoke into my bedding. “Go away!”

Fisher didn’t bother hiding his laugh. “Your mom sounds like a blast.”

“I hate you.”