Off-Limits Roomates

37. Ella

37

***Ella***

I searched my room for my notebook until it was a disaster zone. I had class in half an hour and we were having an open notes test. Without my notebook, I was sure I’d still pass but I wanted a perfect score to take back to Penn when I went. I was getting panicked the longer I couldn’t find it. I tried to remember the last time I’d had it with me and cringed when I realized it was with Vaughn in the library.

We’d continued our tutoring sessions but we’d started leaving the door open as a guarantee that we wouldn’t do anything stupid. Neither of us spoke about the reason we left the door open, but it was obvious. Outside of the sessions I’d been avoiding him like the plague, though, so I wasn’t excited about having to go and ask him if he’d seen my notebook.

After my adventure into adventurous sex with Booth and Fisher, I’d been avoiding all of them as best as I could. It wasn’t like we could’ve had any alone time anyway, not with the way Vaughn had glued himself to their asses. But after coming in front of the two of them to the idea of Vaughn walking in on us, I just wanted to hide. I was mortified that they’d so easily learned my secret.

Despite us sharing several heated looks, we’d barely seen each other without a group around us since that night. Their football schedule was getting busier with their away games getting farther and farther away. My classwork wasn’t as hard as it’d been at Penn but it was still challenging to make sure I was learning everything possible so I wouldn’t be behind when I transferred back. I’d also started a part-time job at the coffee shop I’d met Vaughn at when I’d asked him to let me live with him. I only worked two nights a week but it was enough to leave me feeling like I didn’t have much free time.

Another reason I wanted to hurry was that I knew if I timed it right, I’d catch Fisher coming home from class when I was already driving to campus. Our couple outings had dwindled because of my fear of facing him.

I bit the bullet after glancing at my phone and hurried down the hall to Vaughn’s room. I knew he was in because I’d heard him stomping around. I knocked and shifted from foot to foot as I waited. When he didn’t answer right away, I knocked harder. “Vaughn! I think you have my notebook!”

I tried the door and realized it was unlocked. Letting myself in, I kept my eyes on the floor so I didn’t see anything and tried to find his backpack.

“I let myself in! I need to find my notebook! Please don’t be in here, doing anything weird!” I bumped into his bed and blushed. “God, I need help.”

“What are you doing?” Vaughn sounded surprised to see me and when I glanced up, I was surprised to see him. He was wearing just a towel around his waist and his tan skin was still dripping from his shower.

I told myself to stop staring and get the hell out but I was frozen. “I… My notebook… You have it?”

He strode over to his door and shut it before walking right up to me and holding my gaze as he bent forward and grabbed his backpack from right behind me. “Feel free to look.”

His clean scent filled my nose and I swallowed loudly. He was close, too close. He was also naked. So naked, except for the towel, but it was barely doing anything. I forced myself to take the bag and turn away from him. I stood with my back to him and struggled with the backpack’s zipper. My hands were shaking and I felt like my blood was racing around my body so loudly that he could probably hear it.

I gasped as I felt him press into me from behind. His body was so hot that I almost instantly melted into him. I tried to stand strong, though. “Vaughn… We said we wouldn’t…”

His arms slowly wrapped around me and he splayed his hands out across my stomach. His breath teased the baby hairs that escaped my ponytail as he leaned closer. “I know what we said.”

A whimper stole past my lips as his hands slowly moved higher. “We can’t.”

His lips brushed the skin under my ear. “We’re not.”

Then why was I tilting my head to the side to give him more access to my neck? Why was he trailing kisses down my neck and over my shoulder? Why was I pressing my body into his and wishing my clothes were gone?

I spun around just before he cupped my breasts and whatever plans I’d had to be strong and resist went out the window as soon as I saw the look of need on his face. I knew who closed the distance between our mouths that time. It was me. I clung to his chest and kissed him like I wouldn’t survive without his lips on mine. I held his face and let him draw me tight against his body. I lost myself in his bare chest and soft lips.

He shoved my cardigan off my shoulders and had the zipper halfway down my back when I came to my senses and leaned away from him.

“Wait. Wait, I… I slept with Booth and Fisher again. I just… I have to tell you that before I kiss you again. I… Oh, god.” I twisted away from him and quickly found my notebook in his bag. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have kissed you.”

He was quiet for so long that I was forced to turn back around to face him. His face was blank but his eyes were a storm of anger. “When?”

I winced. “Vaughn, I-”

“When, Ella Rae?”

My body reacted to him calling me that and I felt even worse. “The night you went to dinner with your coach.”

“And the other one?”

I stared back at him for a few seconds, trying to figure out how to tell him that I’d slept with them both the same night, at the same time. The answer felt like never. I opened my mouth and shut it tight again.

“Ella Rae.” He searched my face and was still confused. “What aren’t you saying?”

“I slept with them the same night. Together. I know that isn’t what you want to hear, Vaughn, but there it is. I have to go.” I tried to leave but he caught my arm.

“You slept with both of them, at the same time?” His whole face had gone thunderous. “They fucked you together?”

Besides the whole being turned on by the idea of Vaughn catching us bit of that night, it’d made me feel empowered. I’d felt brave and sexy. But hearing Vaughn say it made me feel small and ashamed. I clutched my notebook tighter and stared at the floor. “Let me go.”

He instantly released me. “You should go.”

I blew out a shaky breath. “I am. I’m leaving. I have class. I’m sorry I kissed you. I shouldn’t have done that. I just…”

“You just what?”

I slowly looked up at him and met his dark gaze. “I’m sorry that you’re angry at me. I don’t like upsetting you and causing trouble. I don’t feel good knowing that I disappointed you.”

He sighed and reached out to cup the side of my neck. “I’m not angry at you. Not really. I told them to stay away from you and they went about as far from that as they possibly could.”

“It’s my fault, too. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I was fine having mediocre to bad sex with Billy for years. I’d only ever slept with him before moving in here and now I’ve slept with all of you and maybe I should move out. I don’t want to cause trouble between the three of you.” I didn’t realize I was tearing up until he dragged me into his chest. “Don’t comfort me. I did exactly what you asked me not to do. You should be mad at me. Even if I don’t get your reasoning for telling me to stay away from them, I still should’ve respected your wishes.”

He sighed. “You’re not moving out. You’re safe here and I can’t trust you not to go back to the Roadside Inn. Your self-preservation skills are fucking horrible.”

“They are not.”

“You let me close you in here with me with nothing but a towel and your tiny panties to keep my dick out of you.” He grunted. “Terrible self-preservation right there.”

I wrapped my arms around him and held on tight. “I don’t know what’s happening, Vaughn. I’m not supposed to want you.”

“But you do.” It was a question, whether he phrased it like one, or not.

“Yes.” I felt him stiffen against me and then hold me tighter.

“See? Absolutely zero self-preservation.” He rested his chin on my head and groaned. “It’ll be fine. I can’t exactly explain why I don’t want them touching you so I’m just going to keep my mouth shut.”

I leaned back and looked up at him. “Why don’t you want them touching me?”

He glared at me and stepped away. “You know.”

I bent to pick my notebook up from where I’d dropped it and inched towards the door, knowing I was going to miss my test if I didn’t leave. “I don’t.”

He just shook his head. “You’re a smart woman, Ella Rae.”

I wanted to stay. I wanted to demand he explain because he couldn’t possibly mean what I thought he meant. I wanted to know if he didn’t want them touching me because he wanted to touch me. That was too bad, though, because I had a clock hanging over my head and Vaughn had already turned away from me.

“Go, El.” He looked at me over his shoulder. “Before I make you miss your class.”

I hesitated until he turned back to me. Then, seeing his threat was real, I ran while I still could. I was so wired from our interaction that I didn’t bother driving to campus. I just jogged the entire way, hoping it would burn up some of the crazy energy coursing through my body. Once I got to class, with minutes to spare, I remembered why I don’t jog. It took an embarrassing amount of time to catch my breath and I was disheveled in a way that couldn’t be passed off as cute.