25. Michael
Libby is ignoring me.
Not just in public. In private too. She’s left my messages on read. She won’t answer my calls. And I’ve considered enlisting the help of a carrier pigeon to find out if she’s okay.
It’s been a week since she stormed off and left the charity event my family attended.
When I asked Zane and Kesley they told me she wasn’t feeling well. But now it’s been seven whole days and I haven’t seen or heard from Libby.
She shows up to the games we’ve had just when they start, gives Izzy some direction and leaves just as the buzzer finishes.
Tonight, we’re back in Vegas for Game six of the series. If we win this, we move on to the playoff finals. If we don’t, we have one more home game.
I see her chatting with Izzy on the other side of the glass. And decide to confront her. I don’t care who’s around.
I hit the glass with my stick and hold my gloved hands out. “What’s going on?”
Izzy looks at me confused and then back at Libby.
Libby just shakes her head and goes back to looking through photos at the camera.
“Libby!” I yell. “Did I do something to piss you off?”
She looks up briefly as if sending up a prayer and then meets my gaze.
“No, I’m just busy,” she says with a scowl.
“Too busy to answer your phone?”
She looks at Izzy who pretends not to be listening. Libby just glares at me like I committed a mortal sin.
The announcer’s voice comes on over the loudspeakers and the game is about to start. I shake my head.
“We need to talk.” I say to her before skating off.
I definitely did something to piss her off. And I can’t for the life of me understand what that thing is. We were good up until my mother showed up for the event last Saturday. It wasn’t a surprise. We knew she’d be there. But everything changed that night.
Maybe it was me sitting next to Cassidy. But that would be ridiculous. Libby can’t be mad at me for sitting next to another girl. That would mean she’s jealous and she’s made it clear that we are just hooking up and are open to pursuing other people. Even if it’s the last thing I want, I’ve respected that it’s what she wants.
I use the frustration to fuel me in the game. The Spartans are playing harder than they have the entire series. But we’re ready to deliver our final blow.
Zane skates up to me as we all take our places at the start of the second period. “What’s going on, Ferg?”
He sounds pissed.
“Seriously?”
“You look frazzled. And Libby hasn’t been herself all week. If I didn’t know any better…”
“Nothing, O-zone. Nothing is going on. Let’s just play.” I get into position and he does too.
It’s true. Nothing is going on… lately. But I’m going to make sure that changes tonight.
We lose.
Which means the Heatwave players will retreat to their rooms to sulk and sleep before our flight home in the morning.
I’m the first one off the ice and I storm into the locker room kicking off my skates and slipping into my slides without even changing. I have one thing on my mind.
To find Libby.
I catch her talking to Rina in the hallway. Her purse is already on her shoulder and when she sees me storming toward her, she rolls her neck back looking irritated.
“Excuse me, Rina. I need to chat with Libby for a bit,” I take her by the arm and drag her along with me.
”What is wrong with you?” she hisses.
”You, Libby. You”re what”s wrong with me.”
I look around frantically and find a door nearby labeled kitchen. I grab her hand and push it open, bringing her in with me.
The lights are off, so it must not be in use.
”I”m done, Libby. I”m done pretending like the things you say don”t bother me. Like whatever this is isn”t messing with my head.”
”I don”t know what you”re talking about,” she moves to push open the door, and I block the exit. She crosses her arms and glares at me with those eyes dripping of honey.
”Libby, enough. You”re not leaving until you tell me what I need to do to make this work. You don”t understand what you”re doing to me.”
”And that”s somehow my fault?” she scoffs.
”Yes! I can”t think. I can”t play. I can”t do anything without being interrupted by thoughts of you!”
”You”re ridiculous. We. Don”t. Work,” she says, exasperated.
”Fine,” I throw my hands up. ”We don”t work. Is that what you want from me? To admit that this might be the biggest mistake either of us can make? It is. It”s reckless and stupid and selfish. But god, woman. I don”t care. Screw what everyone else might think.”
She looks around the kitchen. Possibly for another escape, but I reach for her wrist and pull her to me. She softens under my touch and finally meets my gaze. ”I”m not your ideal guy. And I get that—“
”It”s not that.”
”Then what is it?”
”It”s that…” she hesitates.
“Tell me,” I urge her.
“It’s that you”re everything I”ve ever wanted. And everything I”ve told myself I would never have. You”re hot. And funny. And stupidly kind.”
What is happening right now?
”Wow, please keep telling me all the ways I”m so wrong for you,” I say sarcastically.
”And you deserve to be with someone who will cherish that and not question it. I”m... messed up,” she says, her eyes traveling down to the floor and staring at her feet.
I grab her chin and force her to look up at me. ”Now you”re being ridiculous.”
”You deserve a woman who cooks, and cleans, and can bake something for your family”s fancy dinners. One that your mom will gush over and be excited to welcome into the family. You won”t get that with me. I”m not like your family, Michael. If that isn’t obvious.”
”Do I look like I want a woman to do all those things? I live with my teammates. I travel over fifty times a year. What makes you think I want any of that?”
”You... deserve better,” she says solemnly.
”I want you, Libby. And if you think for one moment that I”m going to let you just walk out that door without letting you know exactly what I mean, then yes, you”re the ridiculous one.”
”But—
I place a hand on the back of her neck and pull her toward me. My eyes watch as she gently licks her lips. ”You”re going to stop talking now,” I growl out. ”Because I”m going to kiss you.”
Air escapes her lungs as I pull her to me. Our lips meet and there’s a brokenness in our kiss. Something is not right.
The fact that she thinks she wouldn”t be welcome into my family has me pissed off. It’s not up to them. I look at her, holding her close to my chest. “Libby, we were friends before. My mom loved you.”
”Until she didn”t,” she says matter of factly. ”And there”s no changing that. You love your family, Michael. I could never ask you to choose between them or me.”
“Why would I have to? Anyone I want to be with, they’ll just need to accept.”
She shakes her head and pushes away from me. “It’s not that easy.”
“Because you’re concerned with what everyone will think?”
“No.”
“Then why, Libby? Because I’m genuinely confused why we can’t make this work. We… care about each other. That’s all that should matter.”
She’s struggling with something. And she won’t tell me. She turns away from me and places her face in her hand, her shoulders shaking.
“Libby,” I whisper, turning her toward me. “Baby.”
I fold my body over her and hold her. My stupid padding creating a barrier between my body and hers. But I can’t let her go. I need her to be ok.
“I’m late,” she cries into my chest.
I don’t understand what she means at first. But I hold her out by the shoulders to get a good look at her.
“It’s only a few days,” she says. “But I just know.”
My mind does a quick countdown of that first time we made love in Vegas. It was a little over two weeks ago. Can it happen that fast?
“Have you taken a test?” I ask her.
She shakes her head. “I’m too scared. What if it’s too early.”
“Ok… that’s okay,” I breathe out. “Let’s go get you some. I’m going to get dressed and you and I will go get some tests. Okay? Wait for me in the press room.”
She gulps and nods.
“Michael… I can’t have a baby right now.”
Her words are like pouring an ice bucket over my beating heart.
“Libby, let’s just see. Okay. This is good. It’s a good thing,” I assure her. “Just wait for me.”
I kiss her on the forehead and she gives me a weak nod.
We part ways and I hurry to get back to the locker room to change. I walk in just as Coach Murray is walking out. “Ferguson. Where’d you go?”
“I just had to take care of something, Coach.”
“I was hoping I’d run into you. Come,” he pulls me aside and leads me into an office reserved for visiting team coaches.
Once inside, he sits at the edge of the old brown desk and looks at me, his hands folding in his lap.
“Listen, Fergie. I’m not supposed to say anything, but I think this is something you should know.”
My brain can’t think. Only thoughts of Libby are bouncing around inside my skull. And I’m really hoping he can make this quick.
“Mack got a call earlier today. It looks like there’s a team that’s hoping to make a trade. She won’t tell me who it is. They have to go through all the proper channels. But you might be hearing from your agent soon with a potential offer.”
I shake my head trying to make sense of the words coming out of his mouth. “They want to trade me?”
He nods. “I know this is your first team and the loyalty runs deep. Personally, I think it’d be a stupid move on their part, but ultimately it will be up to you and management to figure out.”
“Coach… I can’t leave.”
Coach Murray nods his head. “I was hoping you’d say that. I just wanted you to know so it’s not a surprise when you get the call.”
Yeah, because right now, another surprise might be too much for me to handle.
“Thanks,” I tell him.
“Now, go get some rest. And please, keep this between you and me. We don’t need to get the team worried during this last game. We need all the good energy we can get.”
“I agree,” I tell him.
He dismisses me and I feel like I’m walking through fog and unable to think.
Back inside the locker room I don’t look at anyone. I just head to my bag and start to undress.
“You ok?” Hicks asks, sitting on the bench and looking up at me.
“Yeah,” I say. “Just… tired.”
I undress and grab a towel to head to the showers. There I let the hot water pour over and relax my aching muscles. A few moments pass when I hear Zane’s voice in the locker room.
“Delete it, now!” He roars.
I shut the water off and grab my towel, jogging out to see what’s going on.
“It’s all over the internet, O’Connor. He can’t just delete it,” Sincaid says, pointing to one of the other rookies holding a phone.
“I don’t give a shit where it is, if I catch any one of you fuckers with that on your phone. You’re dead to me.”
Ryker and Landry are holding him back from beating up one of our own teammates.
“What’s going on?” I ask, securing the towel around my waist.
“Libby,” Zane growls out and my stomach drops.
“What about Libby?”
There’s violence in his eyes and he turns his anger back to the rookie. “I mean it.”
“I got it,” the rookie says.
Zane storms back to his bench, slapping a cap over his head and grabbing his bag before shouldering out the door.
“What is it?” I ask the rookie.
He hands me his phone. And a rage I never thought I’d be capable of, rises inside my chest.
I delete the photo myself and then delete the trash folder before tossing the phone back to him.
I feel my jaw clenching and the only thing I want to do is get back to Libby.
Our teammates are quiet as they disperse and get back to changing. I quickly change, grabbing my own gear, looking back to the group. “If anyone is caught with those photos, you’re going to have hell to pay.”
I warn them, before pushing the door open.
But when I get to the press room. Libby isn’t there. Rina is though.
“Have you seen Libby?” I ask her desperately.
She gulps and nods quickly. “She left. She was upset.”
“Did you see them?” I ask her.
“The photos?” She looks down at her phone. “Yeah, apparently they’re from a shoot that she never thought would get used. It’s gonna take quite a bit to get them to pull it. The ad agency is in Europe and she signed a contract.”
I slam my bag down and pick up my phone.
There’s a missed call from her and voicemail. I press play and raise it to my ear.
“Michael, it’s me. I can’t stay, okay. I need to get back home. I need to figure out what to do about this mess. Not only am I making things hard for you but now the whole team is under scrutiny from these pictures that are being leaked. I just… I have to go home. And I know you want to help but I seriously suggest you stay away from me, Michael. I am no good for you. I’ve told you that. So please… just stay away.” I hear the sound of a car door slamming in the background. “Please.”
Stay away. She wants me to stay away? When she’s possibly carrying my child and going through more pain than I can imagine.
Staying away is the last thing I’m going to do.