Chapter Eight
Rex left as the pink dawn stretched across the room. I’d been uncertain of how he’d handle the dreaded morning after . But he didn’t sneak out as I’d feared he might. Instead, he kissed me goodbye and said he’d see me later in the day. His affectionate goodbye left me feeling happy and valued. Not something I’d felt in a long time. Things with Steve had never been easy—not once we became lovers. Even after he’d given me his bite, I’d never felt secure.
And he’d proven me right.
I didn’t want to think about Steve when I was feeling so happy, but it was difficult not to. I could admit that, while I was still in pain at his betrayal, there was also relief mixed in. I had no guilt though because I hadn’t given up on him—he’d abandoned me. There was some twisted comfort in that. I’d given it my best with Steve, but he’d been incapable of being a faithful and loyal alpha.
My stomach twinged unpleasantly and nausea prickled me. I was taken off guard by the queasy sensations rolling through me. I hadn’t had much to drink last night, so I knew my unhappy stomach wasn’t a result of a hangover. Perhaps my nausea was simply from stress brought on by the negative thoughts I had about Steve ?
I closed my eyes, hoping the nausea would fade, but it got worse. I sat up as sweat broke out on my face and body. I threw back the covers and hurried into the restroom. The nausea had come over me so quickly, I felt a bit flustered. I fell to my knees on the cold, hard tile floor and vomited into the toilet.
I dry heaved for a while, eventually slumping down onto the cold tile floor until the nausea passed. Once I felt stronger, I slowly got up and brushed my teeth. I stared at my pale reflection, feeling worried. I didn’t have a weak stomach and rarely got physically ill. Even when I got the flu, I didn’t usually throw up.
It concerned me that I’d also felt horribly nauseous the other morning. I’d put that queasiness down to drinking too much the day before with Rex. I’d managed not to actually vomit, but it had been a struggle. However, once that nausea had passed, I’d felt fine the rest of the day.
Until this morning.
Perhaps I’d caught a bug? I felt my forehead, but didn’t seem to have a fever. Was it possible the stress of what had happened with Steve was just too much for my system? It had been a traumatic trip. Plus, whenever I thought of Steve, my stomach ached. Maybe the nausea really was just my body’s way of handling anxiety .
I peered at my reflection, squinting. “I feel fine now. It must just be stress.”
Since I no longer felt queasy, I decided what I needed was a shave and a shower. A little niggle of excitement went through me at the thought of seeing Rex again. Last night had been amazing, and I felt closer than ever to Rex. I was excited to spend more time with him.
Once I was dressed, I made my way to the main house. When I entered the dining area I found Joe and the others at the table having breakfast. There was a bunch of luggage lined up at one end, and I felt melancholy at the idea of all my new friends leaving the ranch today.
Rex was at the head of the table and my usual seat next to him was empty. As I approached the table, Rex gave me a warm smile and said, “I saved you a seat.”
“Thanks.” My heart squeezed happily at how normal he was being. You never knew how someone would handle the morning after sex, but Rex was behaving just how I’d hoped. The affection in his eyes did the strangest things to me, and I felt jittery as I took my seat.
“How’d you sleep?” he asked. “I mean, once I left.”
My face warmed. “Like a log.” I added under my breath, “Once you left.”
He grinned and went back to eating his breakfast .
When I glanced up, Joe and Martha watched me with big happy smiles, and the heat in my face increased. In fact, the whole group was looking at me with conspiratorial smiles. It seemed everyone knew that Rex and I had spent the night together. At first, it made me nervous, but then it sunk in how happy they all seemed, and I began to relax. I had nothing to be ashamed of. Rex and I were both adults and free to do as we chose.
Despite being sick earlier, I ate a big breakfast. I downed five pieces of bacon, scrambled eggs, and two hot, fluffy biscuits. I also indulged in two cups of coffee and some fruit while I was at it.
Once breakfast was over, the group gathered outside for the trip home. Some had driven their own cars, while a few had hired a van. My heart sank as we hugged and said our goodbyes. It felt strange to be left behind, and even stranger that I’d grown so fond of this group of strangers.
We exchanged phone numbers and addresses, promising we’d keep in touch. I wasn’t sure if we would follow through, but it sure was nice to know they all wanted to. I’d especially miss Joe and Martha. They’d treated me like family, and I’d had more fun with them than I’d ever had with my actual grandparents.
“You promise you’ll write or call?” Martha asked as she wiped tears from her eyes with a tissue. “We had a lot of fun with you, Tanner. ”
“I had fun with you too.” There was a lump in my throat the size of a golf ball. “I’ll definitely call.”
“Maybe we can make this an annual thing.” Joe suggested. “You know, we can all plan a reunion vacation once a year or something.”
Tanya and Peter nodded eagerly. “We’d love that,” Tanya said. “You all made this trip so special.”
Mrs. Rodwell had joined us and she chimed in. “This group melded beautifully. Not all people do, but you all got along like long lost friends.”
I murmured in agreement, but was nervous about making eye contact with her. If everyone else knew I’d spent the night with Rex, she probably did too. I worried she wouldn’t approve of my involvement with Rex.
“We’d love to have you all back next year.” Mrs. Rodwell added. “Just give us a jingle if you want to book the ranch.”
Everyone nodded enthusiastically, and then we parted ways. Rex, Mrs. Rodwell, and I waved to them as they drove down the dusty road, until they were out of sight.
Once they were gone, Mrs. Rodwell turned to me. “I understand you’ll be staying an extra week, Mr. Smyth?”
I nodded, my stomach tumbling nervously. “If that’s okay. ”
“Sure thing. We’ll keep you in the same cabin. That might be easier for you, rather than having to move all your stuff.” Her smile was polite and I couldn’t tell if she minded that I was staying.
“Thanks.”
She cleared her throat. “I assume you’ll want to give me a new payment method? The other card was Mr. Turlington’s.”
“Oh, right.” I laughed gruffly. I could just imagine Steven’s face if I charged an extra week here at the ranch on his card. “My wallet is in my cabin.”
“No worries. Just come by my office later today.” She flicked her gaze to Rex and her expression softened. “Rex, you have the next three days off. I understand you want to take Mr. Smyth out on an overnight trip?”
“Yes, Ma’am. We might stretch it to two.” He looked relaxed and happy. “I’ve got everything packed.”
She twisted her lips. “I don’t suppose you want Rusty to accompany you on your trip?”
Rex kicked at the dirt, keeping his eyes down. “No, Ma’am. That won’t be necessary.”
For the first time since I’d arrived, Mrs. Rodwell smiled. Her grin took ten years off her weathered face. “Yeah, I didn’t think so.” She turned her amused gaze to me. “You boys have fun on your trip.” She turned and walked away toward the main house .
Rex moved over to me and he slipped his arm around my waist. “I think she’s on to us, Tanner.” He grinned down at me, and my gut tumbled with excitement.
“It seems everyone was. Did you make an announcement or something?”
He laughed. “No, but Joe and Martha caught me leaving your cabin this morning. The cat was out of the bag from that point on.”
I turned to face him, slipping my arms around him too. “Is it okay to hug like this out in the open?”
“Yep.” He lowered his head and kissed me.
Surprised, but excited, that he was being so open about his interest in me, I kissed him back. It made me feel special that he wasn’t hiding how he felt about me. If he didn’t think we needed to be a secret, I didn’t see why I should.
Once the kiss ended, he pulled away. “Okay, now go pack up. Bring some warm shirts too.” He said softly. “I’ll bring the condoms.”
I swallowed hard, my heart racing. “You’re really not a subtle kind of guy, are you?”
“I don’t see any point in pretending. We only have a week and I’m going to spend as much time as possible inside you, Tanner.”
My legs went weak at the lusty tone of his voice. “Shit, Rex. You’re going to make my legs give out. ”
He smirked. “That’s fine. I like you flat on your back.”
I laughed outright. “Jesus, you’re out of control.” I turned to head to my cabin.
“That’s all on you, city boy.” He chuckled as he walked away toward the stables.
Once inside my cabin, I packed quickly, excited to begin my adventure with Rex. As I walked from my cabin to where Rex stood with our horses and one pack mule, the quiet of the ranch hit me. Without the other guests around, the place had a lot less activity. The silence impressed upon me just how far away from civilization we truly were.
“I’m going to go give Mrs. Rodwell my credit card number,” I said to Rex.
“Okay.” Rex took my overnight pack. “Don’t look so nervous, Tanner. It’s okay. You’re allowed to stay another week.”
I laughed sheepishly. “I just don’t want her upset with you.”
“She’s not.” He smiled. “I promise.”
I nodded and headed to the main house. Mrs. Rodwell’s office was located off the dining hall and was easy to find. I entered her small office and found her sitting behind an oak desk, surrounded by books and stacks of paper.
She looked up, gold-toned glasses balanced on her long, narrow nose. “Sit.” She gestured to one of the leather seats in front of her desk .
“Thanks.” I took a seat, folding my hands in my lap as if I was in the principal’s office. Something about Mrs. Rodwell always made me feel like I was in trouble.
She typed on her laptop for a few moments, then the printer across the room began chattering. As she waited for the papers to print, she rested her chin on her knuckles, eyeing me. She didn’t look as approachable as she had earlier when Rex was present, which added to my discomfort.
When she didn’t speak, I squirmed a little. “Uh, I appreciate you letting me stay longer.”
“You’re paying for the pleasure.” Her smile was polite.
I grimaced. “True. I… I just mean, thank you for fitting me in.”
“We had a lull in our schedule. It worked for all concerned.” She lowered her hands and leaned forward. “Mr. Smyth, may I speak frankly?”
I stiffened because I was pretty sure she wasn’t about to shower me with compliments. “Of course.”
“Would you say you’re a flibbertigibbet?”
“Excuse me?” I frowned.
She cleared her throat. “What I mean is, do you jump from alpha to alpha? Are you a… um… free spirit? A lot of city folk are.”
Heat touched my face. “No. Definitely not.”
“No?” She wrinkled her brow. “I suppose what I find unusual is you literally just broke up with your alpha, but now you’re … er… involved with Rex.”
I should have told her to mind her own damn business, but her questions had taken me by surprise. I felt the need to defend myself. “If you’ll remember, my alpha ran off with one of your ranch hands. I didn’t break up with him to be with Rex. Steve abandoned me.”
She winced ever so slightly. “Yes. That was unfortunate and unforeseen.” She tapped her finger against the desktop. “Still, you seem to have recovered very quickly. Regardless of the circumstances, you seem to have moved on without a care in the world.”
I bristled. “With all due respect, I don’t think you know me well enough to know what’s going on inside of me.”
“True, but you don’t seem very upset.”
I let out a shaky breath, trying to keep my irritation under control. “Just because I don’t wear my emotions on my sleeve doesn’t mean this hasn’t been very traumatic for me. I… I was extremely upset when Steve left me here. But, this wasn’t the first time he’s cheated on me.”
She raised her brows. “Oh, that’s unfortunate.”
“Yeah, it is. His behavior has forced me to accept that Steve is not the alpha for me. I guess that makes letting go a little easier. ”
Her gaze moved to the bite on my neck. “But he claimed you.”
“Yes, but then he betrayed me. Many times. I can’t stay with him simply because I have his bite. I have to have some pride.”
“It’s unfortunate he gave you his bite before you figured that out,” she murmured. “That mark on your neck will be a problem for a lot of alphas.”
It was impossible not to feel judged by the way she stared at me. But her attitude wasn’t surprising. Most older members of our alpha-omega society shared her views. Frankly, even some of the younger did. Once an alpha claimed an omega, the omega was expected to stay with their alpha through thick and thin. An omega who rejected their alpha after receiving their bite was seen as weak and disloyal.
It didn’t matter if the omega had a good reason to leave—our society wasn’t generous toward those who went against the norm. She was right. Few alphas would want to be with me permanently with another alpha’s bite on my throat. Some wouldn’t even want to date me. Most wouldn’t care that Steve had rejected me. I was expected to forsake all other alphas, just in case he decided to return to me.
I lifted my chin. “I plan on having Steve’s bite removed.”
“Really?” She looked shocked. “Just like that? ”
My anger got the best of me, and I snapped, “Why would I want the bite of my cheating alpha on my neck? He betrayed me. Why would I want his bite?”
She blinked at me, her expression confused. “Because he’s your alpha.”
“No. He lost that privilege when he ran off with Tony.” I narrowed my eyes. “Unless you’re blaming me for the fact my alpha cheated on me.”
“No. Of course not.” She had the decency to look embarrassed. “I didn’t mean to imply that his weakness was your fault.”
“But you think I should forgive and forget, yet again? Because he’s my alpha?”
Her face twitched. “I didn’t say that.”
“You definitely implied that because I won’t tolerate my alpha cheating on me, I must be shallow for getting involved with Rex. You don’t know anything about me, yet you assume the worst. Is that because you’re an alpha and incapable of seeing things from an omega’s point of view?”
“No, this has nothing to do with the fact that I’m an alpha,” she sputtered, her cheeks pink. “I’m simply worried about Rex. He has a soft heart and he’s lonely. I don’t want him to get hurt merely because you’re in need of comfort.”
“I don’t plan on hurting Rex.” I frowned. “But I also don’t see anything wrong with seeking comfort from him. I’ve been hurt. Betrayed. Rex makes me feel happy. What’s so awful about that?”
“Nothing.” She sighed. “Look, I don’t mean to be insensitive. I understand that you’ve been hurt by your alpha. I just don’t want you to use Rex as a way to feel better about yourself.”
“I’m not using him. I really like Rex,” I said softly. “He’s an amazing alpha.”
Her eyes flickered and weariness seemed to settle on her weathered features. “Just… don’t make promises, okay? Don’t… lead him on. Make it clear that this time together means nothing in the long run. Don’t let him get his hopes up.”
I was torn between irritation and empathy. She clearly cared about Rex, but it was completely out of line for her to lecture me. Rex was a grown man, capable of making his own decisions. Yet, seeing how truly concerned she was for him, my rancor faded.
I met her pleading gaze. “If it makes you feel any better, Mrs. Rodwell, I’m not a player. I’m very attracted to Rex, but I haven’t made him any promises, and I don’t plan to. But you need to accept that Rex is an adult, and he wants to be with me for now. I’m not going to turn him down. I don’t want to turn him down.”
Resignation painted her sharp features. “I understand.”
“You don’t need to worry. Rex knows I’m not staying. ”
She nodded. “Yes, but I fear he hopes he can change your mind.”
“He can’t,” I said flatly. “My life is back in Billings.”
She lifted one shoulder. “I hope you’re right and that he knows the score.”
“I’m sure he does.”
“Well, you can't close the barn door after the horse has gotten out.” She stood and gathered the papers from the printer, then handed them to me along with a pen. “Just put your payment information in the box, Mr. Smyth.” Her tone had turned businesslike. “And if you’d be so kind as to sign and date on the line, that would be wonderful.”
I pulled out my credit card and did as she asked.
When she took the completed papers from me, she said, “Just so you know, Mr. Turlington had a coupon and was able to book your first week for a sizable discount.”
Of course he had a coupon, cheap bastard.
“I see.” That information came as no huge surprise to me. Steve had always been a penny-pincher. But the revelation did finally shine some light on why he’d booked the dude ranch to begin with, instead of the tropical vacation I’d hinted at about a million times .
“You won’t have that same discount.” She pursed her lips. “Do you still want to extend your stay?”
She sounded so hopeful, it irked me all over again. “I’m still staying the extra week.” I’d have been willing to empty my bank account just to wipe that optimistic look off her face.
“Very well.” She returned to the printer and made me a copy of my payment. As she handed me my receipt, her smile was contrite. “I… I appreciate you putting up with my questions. I only asked them out of concern for Rex.”
“I understand. You don’t need to worry.”
She didn’t look convinced, but she simply shrugged. “You boys have fun on your little trip up the mountain.”
“I’m sure we will.” I left her office, feeling conflicted. In my opinion, she’d overreacted, but her concern for Rex had been sincere. Last night, he’d implied he was tired of being left behind. Was I just one of many guests he’d slept with? How many times had he had his heart broken? Why did the thought that I wasn’t special bother me so much, when I had no plans for anything serious with Rex?
As I approached Rex, he studied me. “Everything okay?”
“Yep.” I forced a smile. “I’m all paid up for the week.” He didn’t need to know the details of my conversation with Mrs. Rodwell. He might take offense at her butting into his personal business, and he had to both work and live on this ranch. I didn’t want to do anything that might cause friction between them.
He hesitated. “Did she say something that bothered you? You look stressed.”
“Do I?” I grimaced. “That’s probably just because I’m spending money when I don’t have a job.”
“Hmmm. You sure that’s all it is?”
“Yes.” I slipped my arms around his waist, hoping to distract him. “Now, are you taking me on an overnight trip or what?”
He relaxed into me. “I am.”
“Then let’s do this, cowboy.” I pushed up on my toes and pressed my mouth to his. He immediately responded, and his taste and scent made me forget all about Mrs. Rodwell and her unwanted opinions.
When the kiss ended, he looked happy. “Mount up, city boy.”
“Yes, sir.” I grabbed hold of the saddle horn. “I hope that isn’t the last time you tell me that today.”
He grinned and held Spitfire’s bridle while I mounted my horse, and then he tied my overnight bag to the pack mule. He sprung up onto his black horse easily, and then we were on our way.
“It’s about a two hour ride to our camping spot,” Rex volunteered .
“Great. I’m glad it’s not a short ride.” I patted Spitfire’s withers. “I’ve rediscovered my love of horseback riding.”
His tanned cheek curved in a smile. “That’s wonderful.”
“It really is.” I inhaled the fresh air, looking around happily. The time I’d spent with my homophobic grandfather in my teens had almost ruined my appreciation for life on a ranch. However, the Rambling Cow Dude Ranch was helping to restore some of the joy I’d lost during that tumultuous summer. “I’d forgotten what it’s like to be surrounded by nothing but blue skies and nature. There’s no smog. No traffic. Just wide open spaces.”
“It’s an amazing life,” Rex said, giving me an approving nod.
I went back to enjoying the ride, feeling sympatico with the world. It was a gorgeous day. There wasn’t a cloud in the cobalt sky as we rode through the golden acres that surrounded the ranch. The scent of sun-warmed earth, fresh hay, and juniper hung in the air. The rhythmic creak of the leather of my saddle, and the soft thud of hooves against the ground were the only sounds as we made our way toward the distant mountains.
Despite Mrs. Rodwell’s lecture, the thought of spending the night out under the stars alone with Rex sent a thrill through me. It did irk me, though, that I might just be one of many for him. He definitely made me feel special, but if I were to believe Mrs. Rodwell, I wasn’t.
Isn’t that for the best?
Yes, ultimately, it was best if I was nothing special to Rex. That would make leaving him behind easier on both of us. I didn’t want to hurt him, and I had no desire to be pining for him once I returned home either. I didn’t see myself getting involved in a long-distance relationship. Keeping things causal was the way to go.
As we rode on, the wide-open plains gradually gave way to the rugged foothills. Patches of tall grass gave way to clusters of aspen and fir, and the terrain shifted underfoot, becoming rockier and more uneven. The air grew cooler as we neared the mountains, and when I shivered, Rex noticed.
“Are you cold?” he asked, reaching back to a knap sack tucked beneath the back of his saddle. “I have a spare flannel shirt you can wear.”
“What about you?”
“I’m not cold.” He smiled and tugged the blue and white shirt free of the bag. He tossed it at me and I caught it midair. “You city slickers get chilled easier than us.”
I wrapped the reins around the horn of the saddle, and Spitfire just kept plodding along unfazed. I was fairly certain she’d just go wherever Rex went, regardless of what I did with the reins. I slipped on his flannel shirt, shivering at the clean scent of his cologne that lingered on the clothing. I liked slipping on his shirt. It made me feel closer to him.
Don’t want to get too close.
“Thanks,” I said, buttoning the shirt. “I feel warmer already.”
“You bet.” He smiled at me. “That color looks good on you.”
I glanced down at the shirt. “Yeah? Steve hated me in blue.”
Rex squinted at me. “Come again?”
I laughed. “He thought it made me look pale. Sickly.”
“Well, I already suspected he was a clown, now I know he’s a clown. You looked sexy as hell in blue.” He shook his head. “That guy has issues.”
It was hard not to be flattered by the way Rex was looking at me. He ran his gaze over my face and body, lust flickering deep in his eyes. I knew I was blushing because my face felt hot. I cleared my throat. “Uh… do you think it’ll be even colder tonight?”
He grinned. “Am I making you nervous, Tanner?”
I laughed sheepishly. “Kind of. You’re undressing me with your eyes. ”
“Sorry. It’s hard to look at you and not want to drag you behind a tree and have my way with you.”
“In this temperature, my ass might get frostbite.”
He chuckled. “You think this is cold? Haven’t you ever heard about the ‘Great Die-Up’ of 1886?”
“The great what now?” I laughed. “That definitely sounds made up.”
He widened his eyes. “Oh, it’s not made up. It was a real historical event. The winter of 1886 was particularly harsh, with record low temperatures and heavy snowfall. There are stories of cattle being found frozen solid, still standing upright.”
“What the hell?” I squawked. “The cows were frozen solid where they stood?”
He grinned. “Well, that may be a slight exaggeration, but they definitely froze to death. It was a terrible time. Ranchers lost huge portions of their herds, and that winter had a profound impact on the ranching industry. It forced many ranchers to adopt more protective measures for their animals in the following years.”
“Well, thank goodness something good came out of that.” I glanced up at the clear sky, shivering. There were no clouds, but it was definitely chilly, and the temperature would drop once the sun went down. “Is it safe for us to be out here camping? ”
“Oh, yeah. I brought a tent and warm wool blankets to go over our sleeping bags.”
I frowned. “I thought we were sleeping under the stars. How’s that work if we’re in a tent?”
“I brought a stargazing tent.” He laughed at my blank expression. “It has a large mesh panel on the ceiling that protects us from insects and light rain, but we’ll still be able to see the night sky clearly.”
“Ah, I’ve never heard of a tent like that.”
“Yep, they’re an amazing invention.” He grinned. “We can sleep under the stars without sacrificing comfort or protection.”
“You sound like an infomercial.”
“No, I don’t.” He smirked. “I never once said, ‘And that’s not all!’”
I laughed. “True.”
“Don’t you worry, Tanner. The cow freezing story happened in winter, and we’re only in early fall. Plus, I’ll take care of you and keep you safe, no matter what. Okay?”
“Okay.” My chest tightened at the protective look he gave me. “I trust you, Rex.”
He beamed. “Yeah?”
“Absolutely.”
He smiled. “That’s just about the nicest thing you could have said to me.”
“Well, you seem to be a very trustworthy fellow.” I bit my lip so I didn’t laugh. “Maybe I’ll even share my sleeping bag with you just to show you how much I trust you.”
His smile slowly faded and heat once more shifted through his blue eyes. “Oh, I plan on sharing your bag, Tanner.”
“Yeah?” I playfully blew him a kiss. “I like the sound of that a whole lot, cowboy.”
He blew out a breath. “We still have an hour and a half ride. We should probably stop flirting.”
Ignoring him, I teased, “I’ve never had sleeping-bag-sex. How’s that work? Should I be on my stomach? Can I spread my legs enough in a sleeping bag, or should I ride you on top like a bucking bronco?”
He pulled up his horse, giving me a dangerous look, and my horse stopped too. “I’m serious, Tanner. Stop flirting with me until we make our camp. You keep it up and I’m gonna need a taste of you now . But we don’t want to be traveling in the dark.”
I grinned at him. “Okay, okay. I didn’t know you had so little self-control.”
He kicked his horse gently and we started moving again. “I don’t seem to have any, where you’re concerned.”
I liked hearing that. I liked knowing Rex was as consumed with me as I was him. I was happy that we had an entire week to enjoy each other. Time would go quickly though, and soon I’d have to say goodbye to him. I didn’t look forward to that day, but I didn’t want to think about saying goodbye to Rex right now.
I had a night under the stars with Rex to look forward to.
And that’s what I was going to do.