Omega’s Refuge (Rambling Cow Dude Ranch #1)

Chapter Ten

Rex was visibly surprised when I straddled him, and he rested his hands on my hip as if to restrain me. “Tanner, we don’t have to have sex. I swear, it’s okay.”

“I want to,” I whispered, pulling off my shirt. “I want you, Rex.” The chilly air swirled around my bare skin, but all I could think about was pleasuring Rex. I quickly shed my underwear, and his breathing picked up as he watched me.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure,” I rasped.

Once I was completely naked, I slowly unzipped his jeans. He let out a greedy moan as I pulled his thick cock out of his underwear. The moonlight showed precum glistening on the tip of his cock and dripping down the shaft. Just the sight of his rigid length had slick pulsing from my aching hole. I desperately needed him inside my body, but first—a taste.

I bent down and licked the precum from his cock, and he trembled. His reaction made me happy, and I suckled the head and moaned my appreciation at how fucking good he tasted. He arched his back, muscles straining as I sucked him harder. I hummed at how delicious he was, swirling more tart precum over my tongue.

“Shit, be careful.” Rex’s voice shook. “I… I’m so fucking turned on I might come if you keep that up.”

“We don’t want that yet .” I smirked.

I’d slipped some condoms under my pillow earlier, and I grabbed one and tore it open. He shuddered as I slipped the rubber down his shaft, and his fingers dug into the skin of my hips. I liked that he was fully dressed and I was naked. I loved the sight of his ruddy dick obscenely sticking up out of his zipper.

With a needy whimper, I lifted myself up and lowered down onto his cock. We both groaned as he penetrated my tight hole. The second he was inside me I felt my control slipping. I pushed his shirt up, just in case, and when he gave a little thrust of his hips, sinking balls deep inside my hole, I cried out and came all over his stomach.

His smile was dirty as I shook and moaned, embarrassed that I’d lost control. But he looked so pleased at the mess on his stomach, I let my anxiety go. He seemed to love the fact that he’d made me come fast, so I gave myself over to the delicious sensations of my climax. I held his gaze while I stroked myself all the way through my orgasm.

“Fucking hot,” he rumbled, thrusting up into my quaking hole. “God, I want to fuck you bare one day. ”

“Yeah,” I mumbled, still dazed from my unexpected climax.

“Yeah? You want that, Tanner?”

“I do. I want to feel your cum inside my hole.”

He growled and smeared my release all over his stomach. Then he raised two fingers coated with my cream up to his mouth. I shivered as he sucked my release into his mouth, all the while thrusting his cock up inside me.

I wanted to watch him come too, so I rolled my hips, riding him hard. His lips parted as his cock grew inside me. He was on the edge, I could see it in his eyes. His pupils were huge and his irises a golden-blue hue. His eye color had changed last time too and I was beginning to suspect that signaled he was losing control. His inner wolf was taking charge.

He dug his nails into my flesh as he pumped his hips, and he rubbed his thumb over my birthmark. The sensation of his calloused thumb against that little mark did the weirdest things to me. I was instantly ready to shoot again. Every inch of my body tingled and I threw my head back, staring up at the stars and moaning my approval. The sliding friction of his cock inside me was almost too delicious. I wanted to come again as he stretched me achingly wide. Pleasure and pain radiated through my entire body, but I didn’t want it to end .

“Oh, God,” I whimpered, holding his salacious gaze. “You’re so deep inside me.”

“Yeah.” His eyes were glassy with lust, and his breaths harsh and ragged. He growled and gnashed his teeth, looking like a hungry wolf.

His body shuddered and he seemed incapable of forming words now. I lowered my chest to his and gave him a dirty, open mouthed kiss. He responded, sucking my lips and tongue. We ravaged each other’s glutenous mouths, moaning, as he thrust faster and harder.

He suddenly went rigid and whimpered against my mouth, “Fuck, I’m coming.”

I felt him swell deep in my body, and that sent me over the edge too. I squeezed my eyes closed as once more a delicious orgasm washed through me, and I spilled all over his heaving stomach. The moment was perfect, just the two of us in the middle of nowhere sharing our bodies and souls.

Little shudders ran through me as my orgasm faded. Rex’s eyes were closed now, and he had a faint smile on his face. When he opened his eyes, they were back to normal.

“Jesus, talk about seeing stars,” he said hoarsely, grinning up at me.

I laughed and carefully slipped off of him. I grabbed a roll of toilet paper from the corner of the tent, and wiped his stomach and mine clean. “I’m sorry. I got cum on the hem of your shirt.” I grimaced .

He shrugged and disposed of the condom. “I have other shirts.”

“Okay.” I lay down beside him, staring up at the sky. “I’m glad we got that out of the way,” I said softly. “The anticipation was killing me.”

He lifted his head to address me. “I really was willing to just look at the stars, if that was what you wanted.”

“Pfft, I got what I wanted, Rex. Now we can watch the stars and relax.” I went back to staring up at the velvety black night. When I saw a shooting star, I squeaked, “Did you see that?”

He chuckled. “Yep. I was hoping we’d see some shooting stars. The Orionid meteor shower is happening right now. I figured you’d get a kick out of it. You can see this stuff easier out here than in the city.”

I loved that he’d been thinking of me. Another meteor shot through the sky and I sighed. “This is so cool. I haven’t even thought of watching shooting stars since I was a kid.”

“It’s relaxing. I love it. Always have.”

I turned my head to smile at him. “Was that something your mom loved doing too?”

“Yep. She’d whip up some hot cocoa and we’d spend the night watching the stars.” His voice was full of affection.

“I wish my parents had been into that kind of thing. They loved me, but they didn’t do much with me. That’s why I was so excited to spend a summer on my granddad’s ranch. But then he turned out to be a jerk, so that was a bust.”

“Yeah.” He sounded sympathetic. “That’s a damn shame.”

We watched the stars for a while in silence, then I asked, “You said you’ve only worked at the dude ranch for four years. What’d you do before that?”

“I was a very different person before I came to work at the ranch.” He sounded a bit defensive.

“That’s okay.”

He chuffed. “Not really.”

I got up on my elbow, studying him. “What does that mean?”

He hesitated, and I thought for a moment he wouldn’t be willing to confide in me, but then he relented. “I’m sorry to say I was a lot like my father.”

“Were you?” I frowned. “You seemed so negative about him earlier.”

He sat upright, to sit cross-legged, his expression strained. “I didn’t approve of his choices growing up, that’s very true. But once I left for college, and after I graduated, I changed. I started focusing more on making a lot of money. I lost my way for a while.”

“That’s so surprising,” I murmured. “To be honest, I can’t picture you working anywhere but on the ranch. ”

He sighed. “I’ll take that as a compliment. You wouldn’t have liked the old me. For a while there, the only thing I cared about was money and power. I was turning into my dad without even realizing it. I’m kind of embarrassed to even admit that to you.”

“You don’t have to be embarrassed,” I said softly. “You’re not like that now, that much is obvious.”

He hung his head. “No, I’m nothing like that now.”

“So, what did you do before you took the job at the ranch? You never actually said.”

“I was a corporate lawyer.” His expression was sheepish.

I bugged my eyes, trying hard to picture Rex in that sort of setting. Try as I might, it was impossible. “Are you serious? Where?”

“In Dallas. I worked for a big law firm, and made an obscene amount of money. That was one reason I kept doing it—the money.”

“That’s crazy. I… I can’t picture you like that.” I laughed gruffly, trying to visualize Rex in an expensive suit and tie. That image didn’t fit. Flannel shirts, blue jeans, and cowboy boots suited him too perfectly.

He grimaced. “I can’t see me that way either anymore. It’s like a vague memory of someone else. I’ve had a lot of years to think about things, and in hindsight, I believe I was trying to get my dad’s approval. Since money and power were all he cared about, I was trying to accrue as much of both as I could.”

“Makes sense.”

He shook his head. “What a waste of a lot of good years. My mom was horrified that I was turning into Dad right in front of her eyes. She loved him to death, but she didn’t want any of her sons turning out like him. Family was too important to her.”

“I still can’t see you going to law school. That’s nuts.” I rubbed my jaw, still trying to grapple with the new info he’d dumped on me. “So, how does a corporate lawyer end up working on a dude ranch?”

He knitted his brows. “In my case, I was terrified into it.”

“Huh?” I frowned.

He smiled at my muddled expression. “I had a health scare four and a half years ago. It altered how I looked at life. Forced me to change.”

I was shocked at what he was saying. He looked healthy as a horse. “What kind of health scare?”

His expression was grim. “The kind that stops you in your tracks and makes you take stock of your life.”

Uneasiness shifted through me. “But you’re fine now? ”

“I am. In fact, I was okay then too, but they misdiagnosed me and scared the shit out of me.” He shook his head. “I thought I was going to die until they figured out their mistake.”

“They misdiagnosed you?” I growled. “How the heck did they do that?”

His jaw was tense. “I don’t know, but they did. I went in to see the doctor because I’d had a persistent cough and some difficulty breathing. Next thing I knew they were diagnosing me with lung cancer.”

“Jesus,” I grated. “They told you you had lung cancer ?”

“They did.” He stared down at his clasped hands. “In truth, I had what’s called sarcoidosis, but they initially misdiagnosed it as lung cancer. I guess that happens sometimes with sarcoidosis.”

I blinked at him, feeling sick. “I’m so sorry. You must have been terrified.”

“I was devastated,” he said quietly. “Thinking I had months to live changed me profoundly.”

“Yeah, I’m sure.” I reached over and squeezed his hand. I was startled at how completely gutted I felt at the idea of losing Rex. Even if he wasn’t really mine, I felt sick thinking he might have died.

He smiled weakly. “It’s a dramatic story, right?”

“It is. I’m so glad you’re okay. ”

“I’m perfectly healthy.” He thumped his fist against his chest. “Healthy as an ox.”

“I can’t believe they put you through that.”

He glanced up at the stars. “It was the worst few days of my life. I won’t lie, I spiraled for a bit. When the doctors finally told me they’d made a mistake, I immediately quit my job.”

“Did you?”

“Yep. I couldn’t make myself go back. Not even if they paid me, and they would have. I was very good at what I did. They tried to bribe me back with obscene amounts of money, but I’d had enough. When I thought I was going to die, I saw how empty my life was just chasing the almighty dollar. I wanted to change my life completely, and so I did.”

I scratched my head. “I understand now why you quit your job, and I think you made the right choice. But I’m still fuzzy on how a big shot lawyer ended up working on a dude ranch.”

He smiled. “I can see why. The two jobs aren’t at all similar.”

“No, not at all.”

“I spent summers on my granddad’s cattle ranch in Montana growing up. My grandfather was very different from yours. He was warm and accepting of people. Those years on his ranch were some of the happiest of my life. But once I went to college and law school, I sort of forgot about those times. Then I got that mistaken diagnosis and I was filled with nothing but regrets.”

“Of course,” I mumbled.

He said softly, “You always think you have more time. But if someone tells you it’s game over soon, you’d be surprised how easy it is to get rid of all that stupid shit you thought was so important.”

His words resonated with me more than he could know. I’d been spinning my wheels for years, hating where I lived and constantly chasing down jobs. If I was honest with myself, I’d known all along that my relationship with Steve was doomed. I’d let him back into my life just to postpone the heartache. And look where that had gotten me. Rex’s story was forcing me to face the facts—if I were told I only had months to live, would I stay in Billings? Would I change my job?

“It makes you think, doesn’t it?” Rex watched me closely.

“Yeah. It does.” Of course, there was no way he could know what I was thinking, but the way he looked at me, I felt like he did.

He sighed. “Anyway, when I thought I was dying, I started thinking about how I wished I’d lived my life. I started remembering all the things I’d wanted to do that I’d always put off. I didn’t want to live like that anymore. I wanted a happy, fulfilling life.”

“Seems like a worthy goal,” I murmured .

“I thought long and hard about when I’d been the happiest. I realized it was my summers as a kid on my grandfather’s ranch. That’s when I was most content.”

“Maybe that was just because you were a kid? You had your whole life ahead of you.”

“Nope.” He shook his head. “I wasn’t happy because I was young . I was happy because my life was uncomplicated and straight forward. Working on a ranch is kind of like that. The job is cut and dried. You do what needs doing. You help out where you’re needed.”

“I suppose that’s true.”

He said, “So, I reached out to a few ranches in Montana, to see if they’d hire me.”

“Why Montana. You lived in Dallas, right?”

“Yeah. I picked Montana because that’s where my Grandfather’s ranch had been. My grandmother sold it after he died, but Montana had settled in my bones. Since I was determined to do what I wanted, and to live where I wanted, I picked Montana.”

“Okay. I get it now.”

“I didn’t have enough experience for most of the ranches I contacted. But Mrs. Rodwell was willing to give me a shot. I’ve worked my tail off hoping to make her happy about her decision. I had to prove myself, but I think I’ve done that. She trusts me implicitly now. ”

“She seems very fond of you,” I murmured, thinking about the talk we’d had where she asked me not to make promises to Rex.

“I’m fond of her too. I’ll never be able to thank her enough for taking a chance on me. She saved my sanity.” His jaw tensed. “Being a corporate lawyer involves a lot of game-playing and trickery. I realized I really hated that shit. I wanted a simpler life. A more honest, authentic life where my connections with people were real. I wanted a job where I made people happy , not just rich.” He gave a self-conscious smile. “That probably sounds naive to you.”

“No, Rex.” I grimaced. “Not at all. I get it. I really do.”

“Yeah?”

“Absolutely,” I admitted. “I feel trapped and unhappy much of the time.” The confession tumbled out unplanned, but I didn’t regret it. He was being so open with me, it seemed okay to tell him how I felt about things.

He looked empathetic. “I sensed that discontentment in you, if I’m honest.”

I met his gaze, relieved there was no judgement. “I’ve tried to ignore the feelings of emptiness for ages.”

“You shouldn’t ignore them. You should act on them.”

“How? ”

He shrugged. “Make changes that will make you happy.”

“Easier said than done.” I plucked at a loose thread on the sleeping bag.

“It seems overwhelming, I know. You have to break it all down into little parts. What is it you hate most about your life?” His expression was curious. “If you could only change one thing, what would it be?”

“My job,” I admitted without hesitation. “Not the art part, but I hate having to hunt down a new position every few months. Job hunting is stressful, and even though I always find a job, I know that stress is looming in the near future.”

He winced. “Sounds awful.”

“It is.”

He twisted his lips, looking thoughtful. “What’s the second thing you’d change if you could?”

“Where I live,” I confessed.

“What don’t you like about where you live?”

I looked up at the stars twinkling in the night sky. “The noise. The smog. It’s not as bad as maybe LA would be, but it’s also not great.”

He nodded. “No, living in the city is always going to have some smog and traffic.”

“But Steve liked where we lived, and moving is such a hassle.” I met his gaze. “It’s been easier to just stay put. ”

“I agree. Moving is a big decision.” He wrinkled his brow. “Changing your job might be simpler. Maybe you could change the types of jobs you go after. Look for something long term, rather than contract work.”

My cheek twitched. “Unfortunately, those jobs are harder to get without a degree.”

“You don’t have a degree?” He lifted his brows.

My cheeks warmed and I dropped my gaze in embarrassment. “No. I… I went to college for four years, but I switched up my major and never finished. It was too expensive to keep going, so I quit and just started freelancing.”

“I see.”

I laughed self-consciously, glancing up nervously. “Do I sound like a slacker to you? You have a law degree and I couldn’t even get a damn art degree.”

He squinted at me. “There you go again putting yourself down. I really wish you wouldn’t do that, Tanner.”

I sighed. “I can’t help it. I always feel inadequate. Maybe I should have taken on more debt and just finished college with a degree. But it felt like such a waste of money. Especially when, what I really wanted to do was sell my own art. Not do commercial art.”

“Yeah?” He looked intrigued. “You wanted to sell your art? ”

I nodded. “That was my original dream. But it’s hard to get shows at galleries unless you have a name, and if you don’t really have a way of promoting yourself through shows, it’s hard to sell anything. I tried for a bit, but then gave up and started taking the free-lance graphic artists jobs. They don’t pay great, but they pay better than nothing, which is what I was getting trying to sell my art.”

“I’d love to see your work,” he said softly.

I smiled. “Why?”

“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “I have a feeling it’s great.”

I laughed gruffly. “You can’t know that.”

He touched his temple. “Logically, that’s true. But you’re such a compassionate, creative type. I’m sure that comes out in your work.”

I couldn’t help smiling wider. “You’re so damn nice, Rex. I mean, you make me feel so good, just being around you.”

“Yeah?” He looked pleased. “Well, I’m not doing anything special. I’m just being honest.”

I hesitated. “Maybe when we get back to the ranch, I’ll show you some pictures of my work. I have some photos on my phone.”

His face brightened. “I can’t wait to see your work. I used to collect art when I lived in the city. I even brought some of my favorite pieces with me here. They’re hung in my cabin on the ranch. ”

“Seriously?” I asked in surprise. “That’s fantastic. What kind of art do you like?”

“All of it.” He shrugged. “Modern, impressionist, anything. I’m blown away by the creativity of humans.”

My chest warmed at how sincere he sounded. Rex had so many more layers than I’d ever have expected. I’d dismissed him as “just a cowboy” but nothing could be further from the truth.

Rex added, “My brother, Jack, he runs a gallery, and he sells art to hotels and businesses. He makes a great living doing that. Maybe I could put you in touch with him.”

Shocked at the offer, I froze. “No. You’ve never even seen my work. I can’t let you do that.”

His expression softened. “If it would help you improve your life, I’m happy to help.”

“It’s awfully kind of you to offer to connect me with your brother, but I wouldn’t want to impose on you like that.”

“It’s no imposition. He’s always looking for new talent.” He tilted his head. “Why do you hesitate, Tanner? I’d think you’d want to make a connection with someone like Jack. Especially if you want to sell your own art.”

“I guess the idea of showing him my art makes me nervous.” I grimaced self-consciously. “What if he hates it?”

“Or.” Rex pursed his lips, his expression thoughtful. “Maybe you’re afraid he’ll love it. ”

I frowned. “What do you mean? Why would I be afraid of that?”

“Well, if he loves it, you’ll be given an opportunity to change your life. Maybe that scares you. Even if you’re unhappy with how things are now, they’re familiar. Better the devil we know than the devil we don’t know, right?”

My face warmed because he was right. I tended to hold on to things too long just because they were familiar. I’d done that with Steve. I’d continued on with Steve knowing deep down we’d probably never make it.

I met his gaze. “Jesus, maybe you’re right. Maybe I am just really scared of new things.”

“It’s okay,” he said softly. “A lot of people are. Hell, it took me thinking I was going to die to make the change I wanted.”

I gave him a grateful smile. “Thanks for not judging me.”

“Nah, I don’t have that right.” He leaned toward me. “But I can tell you this, change can sometimes bring the happiness you’ve been looking for. Just look at me.”

I smiled grudgingly. “True. But maybe you’re the exception. Maybe most of us are destined to plod through life, taking whatever we’re given. Nobody ever promised that being a grown up would be fun.”

“Why can’t growing up be fun?” he asked. “Who said being an adult has to be a dreary existence? You should be happy with the life you’ve been given. You shouldn’t have to get a terrifying diagnosis just to live the life you want.”

“I know.” I frowned. “But to be honest, I have enough on my plate right now after breaking up with Steve. I probably don’t need to throw moving and starting a new job into the mix.”

“It just hard for me to accept that you’re so unhappy,” he murmured. “I want to fix that for you.”

“You don’t need to worry about me, Rex.”

“Yes, I do.”

I laughed because he sounded so definite. “Why would you?”

He held my gaze so long, I thought for sure he’d give me more details, but then he looked away. He scooted down to lie on his back, avoiding my gaze. “You’re a good omega. You deserved better than Steve. That’s all I was trying to tell you.”

I could tell he was holding something back. “You never liked Steve.”

He glanced at me and his lips thinned. “No, I didn’t. He was boorish and self-centered. He proved me right too, when he ran off with Tony. I knew you were too good for him.”

I lifted my brows. “Tell me how you really feel, Rex.”

He smiled sheepishly. “Am I getting carried away? ”

“Well.” I laughed gruffly. “You’re very passionate on the subject of Steve.”

“Sorry.” He sighed, and rolled onto his side, facing me. His expression noticeably softened as he studied me. “Thanks for coming out here with me, Tanner. I’m happy I got to share this with you.”

“It’s my pleasure.” I leaned forward and kissed him.

When the kiss ended, he reached up and brushed my hair off my brow. “Life sure does take some funny twists and turns sometimes, doesn’t it?”

“It does.” I stared into his eyes, heart squeezing. “But if I’m honest, I kind of like this twist, Rex. I’m having fun with you.”

“Just you wait, Tanner,” he said quietly. “The best is yet to come.”