Chapter Thirty-Four Sassy
thirty-four SASSY
Three weeks had passed since her father’s funeral, and the world still felt strange. Everywhere Sassy looked, she saw her father. She called out to him a few times, heart racing, only to receive confused glances in return. But still, she saw him walking into a store, his stride so recognizable. She spotted the back of his coat, then his shoes as they passed inside. There he was again, talking with a stranger on the sidewalk, but when he turned, the face belonged to someone else.
The worst was in the office. When Tom told her to take time off, she didn’t listen. “If I don’t work now, I might never do it again. After all, he left me all this money,” she hinted, but it was only partially a joke. To her surprise, work had become a satisfying part of her life. She understood now why her wealthy father had kept working his entire life. Besides that, she loved being near Tom. His energy fed hers.
But sometimes, sitting at her desk, her mind played tricks. The crack of her father’s office door easing open. The sound of his voice at the reception desk, greeting a client. His sly little smile, the one he gave Tom when a deal was almost closed. She saw it all. She missed it all. She clung to it all. She hated the impromptu bouts of misery that overtook her. She might be walking along a sidewalk, thinking of nothing in particular, when the truth would hit her, and she’d wander into a hidden doorway for privacy, torn apart by grief.
Grief was the opposite of joy, Marion had said. What Sassy needed most was joy, and to her, music was joy. The fundraising concert wasn’t about the money. Financially, she didn’t need anyone’s help anymore. It was about coming together. Trying to find happiness in the saddest of times.
The concert was the next night, so she decided to stop at Chez Monique to see Davey, make sure he didn’t need anything. On her way, she passed a man huddled on a bench, wrapped in a worn overcoat, and she couldn’t help thinking about the first time she had met Daniel. She’d learned something shameful about herself that day. She had judged him unfairly right off the bat. Now that she knew him, she understood he had only been trying to help her step safely off the sidewalk ice. But out of reflex, Sassy had been repelled by the scarred, patched man sitting on the frozen sidewalk. She had assumed the worst. Sure, Big John had turned out to be exactly what she had feared—she was so glad Marion was getting him the care he needed—but Sassy couldn’t forget that she had been entirely wrong about Daniel. He was a warm, intelligent man down on his luck. He was even handsome, despite the disfiguring marks on his face. Not like Tom’s Sean Connery look, but he had the face of a natural, hardworking, outdoors kind of man. Marion had told her he was a fisherman in Nova Scotia before he’d gone to Vietnam. Sassy could picture that easily.
“Everything’s going so well!” Davey exclaimed when she walked into the coffeehouse. “Tickets for tomorrow night are almost sold out. We’ve made nearly four hundred dollars already, and there’s lots more coming at the door. Oh, and the coffeehouse is going to donate half its take as well.”
“Far out!” She gave him a hug. “Know what I remember? That day we met, at the love-in? You said you were going to someday organize a big event, and here you are.”
“So cool that you remember that. I barely remember anything from that day, man. I don’t know what we smoked, but it was awesome.” He grinned, and she inhaled his joy. It was exactly what she needed. “But this concert, man, it’s gonna be twitchin’. The performers are psyched. They think it’s unreal about Joey being MIA, and now that Marion’s gone, they’re super keen to help out.”
“I can’t thank you enough for all this, Davey. Marion’s going to be blown away when she finds out we’ve paid for Daniel’s trip. She was counting pennies at the end.”
“Doing this has been a gas,” he told her. “So many people are supporting you. They love you, and so do I.” He gave her a kiss on the cheek. “You doing okay?”
She stiffened, keeping all the misery at bay. “Please don’t ask me that.”
“Right on.” Quick as a wink, he changed direction. “Have you picked out what you’re playing?”
“It’s a surprise.” She had decided she was going to perform all of Marion’s favourite songs. Sweet songs to make people smile for a change. She handed Davey a box of Smarties, knowing they were his favourite. “What can I do to help?”
“No way, Sass! Thanks.” He opened the box and popped a couple into his mouth. “Nah, there’s nothing for you to worry about, man. It’s all done.”
“Want to come to my place for dinner? I bet you haven’t eaten all day.”
A beat of indecision, then he asked, “What are we having?”
“I don’t know yet. Something with noodles.”
“You have cheese, right?”
It felt good, hanging with Davey after so long. Sorrow was a confusing, exhausting emotion, and she hadn’t yet figured out how to handle it. There were moments when all she wanted was to be alone, but most of the time she found herself craving company. Especially in the evenings, after work was done. Easy company, like Marion, or Tom, or Davey.
Marion had already flown across the world. Marion, the hero neither of them had ever suspected. Gosh, Sassy missed her. She kept wanting to go to her place and tell her about her day, and her absence felt like a wall.
Tom, well, she spent the whole day at the office and sometimes at lunch with him, and even though they had a great time, she didn’t think he’d appreciate being hounded by her every night. Besides, he needed time alone, too.
Davey was just right, with that warm smile and his lion-coloured eyes. She was occasionally tempted to grab him and revert to old times, but the urge wasn’t too strong anymore. More like an echo of what they’d had. Sassy had Tom firmly in her sights now. Her tragedies hadn’t affected her attraction to him. She didn’t want to scare him off, though, in case he wasn’t looking at her the same way. So Davey spent the night, but he slept on her couch, each of them content just to be around the other.
He was gone early the next morning, needing to make sure everything was ready for the concert. She grabbed her guitar then got into a bus and sat by the window, feeling strange. Sassy arrived at the coffeehouse at five thirty, dressed in her best, but wrapped like a gift in a cozy winter coat. Tent dresses were all the rage, so she’d picked up a bright pink one along with a matching pair of pantyhose. Her hair was swept back from the front, and she’d let the rest hang free with a big, happy curl around the bottom. Her makeup was perfect. She was ready.
She was riding a huge wave of adrenaline and was almost euphoric about the night to come. But deep down, all she could think about was Joey. Joey was why Marion was gone. Joey was the reason for tonight. God, she wished he was here.
Then she arrived at Chez Monique and shoved her blues away. There was a sign on the door that read: CLOSED FOR PRIVATE EVENT AT 6:00. TICKET HOLDERS ONLY. With a grin, she headed to the greenroom to see if any of the performers had arrived and was surprised to see the little room was packed tight and lit with energy. When she wriggled inside, a dozen musicians and poets all cheered.
“Thank you all for being here!” she said over them. “This means so much to me.”
“We’ll get your bro back, Sass,” one called, and they all cheered again.
Stepping out of the room, she spotted Davey standing by the bar and went to see how she could help. She slipped off her winter coat as she walked.
“Look at you! You look like a piece of Dubble Bubble! Outta sight, Sass!” He glanced at his watch. “It’s almost showtime.”
“Can I do anything?”
“Why don’t you go stand by the entrance? Tonight’s all for you, so everyone’s gonna want to see you.”
She was happy to oblige, though the cold night seeped through her little dress every time the door opened. Then Tom walked in, and she felt warm all over. She watched him slip off his brown leather coat, revealing a cream-coloured Irish knit sweater over a pair of jeans. He scrubbed his fingers through his hair, brushing off snow, then he spotted her and gave her a gorgeous smile.
“I’m so glad you came,” she said. She pointed. “That’s Davey. He’s the one who put this all together.”
“We’ll thank him later,” Tom said, holding her with those Sean Connery eyes. “He looks pretty busy right now, and these tables are filling up fast. I should grab a seat before they’re all gone.” He leaned down so she could hear him better. “I’m looking forward to hearing you sing, Sass.”
Her heart did a little jump. “I’ll sing one just for you, boss.”
“Maybe you and I could go out for a drink after,” he suggested carefully. “We could pretend I’m not your boss.”
Tom was about ten years older than she was, and he was a dyed-in-the-wool capitalist—but she didn’t mind that so much anymore. He was smart, funny, and thoughtful, never mind that he was movie-star handsome. She’d learned about business from him, and while she was still bothered by the fact that the poor did not benefit from gentrification, she judged the concept less harshly now that she understood the reasons for it. Most importantly, Tom had been there for her when her father died. She would never forget that.
Any other time, she would have beamed and agreed effusively to his invitation, but something had changed. No matter how happy she was at that moment, she was not the carefree girl she’d been before. She’d grown up. His invitation, combined with the cautious sparkle in his eyes, didn’t feel like just a drink. It felt like it could be the next step into her future. She let that feeling rush through her then shine onto him.
“I would like that very much,” she said. She stayed with him as long as she could, enjoying the performances and his subtle reactions to them.
Ernie Molnek was just finishing his recitation when Sassy realized she was on next. Her heartbeat quickened.
“I gotta go,” she said breathlessly.
“Knock ’em dead, Sass,” he replied with a smile.
She stood by the stage, waiting for Ernie to finish and getting her nerves in order. The lights overhead prevented her from making out individual faces in the audience, but even so, she thought she saw Tom’s profile. Was he looking at her or simply enjoying the poetry? Then he turned his head and held her gaze for a good ten seconds, only breaking it off as Ernie finished speaking and the audience applauded. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, calming the urgent desire burning in her chest.
Davey went to the microphone next, holding his fingers up in Vs. “Hey,” he said, a proud smile on his face. “I’m Davey, and I’m amped that you’re all here. We have one more performer for you, and you know she’s the grand finale! She’s gonna blow your mind. Ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together for my best friend in the world, Sassy Rankin!”
Beaming, she walked toward the stool he’d put out for her and pressed a kiss on his cheek. “You’re too much, Davey,” she murmured into his ear. “Thank you.”
“I’m guessing,” he whispered back, “that we’re closing in on a thousand bucks. That ought to cover some expenses.”
“Amazing!”
“Yeah,” he said, pushing her away. “Now it’s your turn. Go wow ’em, Sass.”
Settled on the stool with the guitar on her knee, Sassy leaned toward the mic. Her gaze went to Tom, and for just an instant, she saw her father sitting with him. Emotion rushed in, so she took a beat to calm herself.
“My brother Joey made a mistake,” she said to the crowd when she was ready. “When he went to Vietnam to fight, he believed he was doing the right thing, but I never agreed.”
Beyond the lights, she saw slow nods. These people understood.
“None of that matters now. He’s my brother, and he is all that remains of my family. I love Joey like I always did. Part of me died when we heard he was missing.”
She paused, recalling Marion’s voice when she’d told Sassy over the phone about her plan to go to Vietnam. Sassy hadn’t known whether to cry with disbelief, fear, or gratitude. In the end, it had been all three.
“The toughest thing for me has been coming to terms with the fact that there’s nothing I can do for him. He might never make it back. But my friend Marion saw I needed help, and she showed me what it means to be a true friend. She’s a doctor, and she has gone to Vietnam for my sake and to help those in need of medical care. I don’t expect her to find Joey. That would be impossible. But no matter what, she’s my hero just for going. Every penny you paid to get in here tonight, any extra donations you feel like dropping into that box on the bar, and half of the proceeds from your coffee and food are all going to the Canadian Red Cross to help cover expenses. Marion has gone to help men over there who might die without her. So on behalf of all of them, thank you.”
She dipped her head to her guitar, tears blurring her vision, then she sucked in the emotions and spoke again.
“Safe travels, Marion.”
She started with “Leaving on a Jet Plane,” imagining her best friend in the sky with Daniel at her side. Did Marion see the way Daniel looked at her? Did she realize she held her breath when he spoke? The romance of it all made Sassy smile as she switched keys to “Never My Love.” She and Marion loved that song.
“I have a very good friend with a really nice car,” she said after that, glancing at Tom. He nodded appreciatively. “He thinks I don’t know who Elvis Presley is.” The audience laughed, and she played a quick, complicated riff on her guitar, smiling coyly the whole time. “So this is for him. ‘All That I Am,’ from Elvis’s movie Spinout , is about a race car. Does that work for you, Tom?”
After that, she played Louis Armstrong’s new one, a poem to goodness and to all the best parts of life. “What a Wonderful World,” she was certain, was going to become a hit.
When that was finished, she took a deep breath then smiled broadly at the audience. “My last song for tonight is something a little more upbeat, and I hope you take the message home with you. Thank you again for helping the Canadian Red Cross with your donations. I hope you all had a gas tonight.”
She started to play, then she caught a glimpse of Davey’s happy face in the wings. He was beaming and swaying and singing along.
“All we need is love! Whap-bap-buh-duh-duh!”
After it was all done, and her whole body was still pulsing with adrenaline, Sassy set her guitar aside and smiled at people approaching the stage. She couldn’t get off before well-wishers came to congratulate her, shaking her hand or hugging her. She knew a lot of the hippies, but there were others as well. Women and men dressed in business suits, and some in between, like Tom.
“I dropped another hundred dollars into the box,” a stranger in a white collared shirt said. “Great cause, great show.”
“Out of sight,” exclaimed a girl she recognized from the TADP protest. “I was totally bawling. You’re like Joan Baez, only sweeter.”
“Your brother’s an idiot for fighting,” a long-haired man in a headband told her gently, “but he’s got a dynamite sister.”
“He’s not an idiot,” Sassy bridled. “He’s trying to do the right thing, just like we are.”
“Right on,” the man replied, looking sheepish. “No offence meant.”
“None taken,” she said. She was aware that a lot of people in the room felt the same as he did. “Thanks for coming. I really appreciate it.”
Tom waited behind the cluster of fans, distracting her. She was overwhelmed by all the attention, but really, she was dying to hear his thoughts.
“Well?”
“Incredible, Sassy. I knew you were good, but that was unreal. Your dad would’ve been so proud.” He glanced around at the noisy crowd. “You probably have other things to do besides that celebratory drink. We could do it another—”
“Don’t you dare back out now, mister,” she purred, lifting one eyebrow.
That brought out the Sean Connery flash. “Tonight it is.” His eyes darted to just beyond Sassy’s shoulder, and he lifted his chin so she’d look.
“Oh! Tom, this is Davey, the mastermind behind tonight. Davey, this is Tom.”
Davey stuck out his hand. “Hey, man. Sassy talks about you a lot. Thanks for coming.” Then he faced her, and something in his expression drained all her joy. “Uh, Sass, can I speak with you a moment?”
“Lay it on me. You look like somebody died.”
His mouth opened, and for a panicked moment she feared he might cry. “Somebody bagged the cash.”
Sassy stared at him, disbelieving. “No. How could that happen?”
“It’s gone, babe. I had it safely hidden behind the counter, I thought. It was tucked behind a bunch of boxes. I was only away from it for a second, when I came out to watch you. When I got back, it was gone.” His face squeezed tight with regret. “Somebody must have seen me. I’m so sorry.”
She was having trouble getting her brain to work. Who, in this generous audience, would be so desperate as to steal from them?
“You’re sure?” she asked feebly.
“I’ve looked everywhere. Like a hundred times.”
“All the work you did,” she said, feeling slightly ill. “What a waste.”
“No, man. It was an amazing experience anyway. I just can’t believe all the money is gone.”
“How much was it, do you know? Did you get a chance to count it?
He groaned. “Yeah. Just under $850.”
Tom whistled quietly. “Somebody’s going home a lot richer.”
With a knot in her throat, Sassy’s gaze travelled over all the happy people. Some had returned to their seats to enjoy a cup of coffee. Others had left already. Was the thief still here, staring back at her? She couldn’t imagine the gall that would take. The longer she watched them, the angrier she got.
“I guess we should call the cops,” she said uncertainly.
Davey’s expression didn’t change. “I guess so. I don’t know what they could do, though. We don’t know who was here, and a lot of people have already left.”
She slumped, and he opened his arms for her. “Oh, Davey.”
“It’s all right. We’ll figure this out.” He squeezed her. “Such a bummer.”
A hand touched her back. “Sassy.”
She pulled away from Davey and wiped her palms across her eyes, smearing tears and mascara everywhere. It didn’t matter.
“I can go with you to the police station tomorrow,” Tom offered.
“Okay. Thanks, Tom. Oh, I feel sick. And I’m so angry. What kind of person does that?”
Tom’s smile slid sideways. “It was a great concert, though. Everyone loved it. You were amazing.”
He was trying to cheer her up, but she didn’t want that. “I don’t feel like getting a drink after all. I’m too mad.”
Tom’s smile widened, as if he wasn’t reading her mood. He thought she was teasing. “What if I ask real nicely? I’ll even make a donation.”
“Tom! I said no.” Couldn’t he see she was upset? She turned back to Davey, dismissing Tom. “Think we should make an announcement?”
Davey looked doubtful. “Nobody’s gonna pay twice.”
“Hey, Sass,” Tom tried, but she ignored him. “Sassy?”
She felt him push a folded piece of paper into her hand, and she jerked away when she realized it was a cheque. “I don’t want your money.”
“Just take it, Sass,” Davey said, nudging her.
“What? No! I don’t want to go for a drink, and I don’t want your money. You can’t just step in and solve things like a businessman would. This is about more than that, Tom. Get it?”
“You don’t want my donation because I can afford to give it?”
“I don’t want it.”
Tom’s smile fell. “There she is,” he said tightly. “That spoiled brat I remember from the jail. I just wanted to help.”
“Yeah? Well, I don’t want your help.”
“Sassy,” Davey murmured behind her.
She thrust the cheque back at Tom, but Davey snatched it from her fingers. “Sorry, man,” he said, hovering between the two of them. “Thanks. This is awesome.”
“Stop it, Davey,” she hissed. “Give it back.”
He held it behind his back. “Don’t be stupid, Sass.”
“Stupid’s a great word for this,” Tom growled. “You’ve heard of the proverbial gift horse, Sassy? Well, here I am. Give the cheque to the Red Cross or tear it up. I don’t care. I’m leaving.”
He turned and wound swiftly between the revellers, striding toward the entrance without a backward glance.
“I’m such an idiot,” she muttered, her eyes on his receding back. What a fool she was.
“Uh, Sass, I kind of agree.”
She scowled. “Shut up, Davey. I thought he and I were clicking, you know? Obviously, I was wrong. I should have known.”
Davey sighed. “What you should have done is taken his donation and thanked him for it. For Marion. At least it would be something after this disaster.” He unfolded the cheque, and she watched his eyes widen.
“What?” she asked grudgingly.
He flipped it over, toward her. “Eight hundred and fifty dollars, Sass. Made out to the Canadian Red Cross. Sorry, but your answer should have been ‘Thanks.’ Looks to me like this came straight from his heart.”