On Loverose Lane (Return to Dublin Street #1)

25. Callan

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

CALLAN

T here had been times when I’d been frustrated with Baird. Never usually on the pitch, but definitely off.

This went beyond that. I was ragin’.

“What the fuck are you playing at?” I spat at him as I moved to go after Beth.

Baird grabbed my arm, stopping me. “What are you playing at? I know that this is more than just trying to get a meeting with Carmichael or helping Beth. Whatever your history with this lassie is, you’re into her.”

I shook off his hand. “It’s a business deal, Baird. End of.”

“Nah. It’s more than that. So, here’s a wee bit of common sense advice—don’t fuck it up, Cal, by fucking around with women you don’t even want.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You haven’t slept with a lassie in weeks. Since her . And you bring her here as your date, fake or otherwise, and you immediately start flirting with Amy? C’mon, man, you wouldn’t even do that to a hookup.” Baird gave me a disappointed look. “You hurt her feelings. Beth’s. I … I wanted you to have a wee taste of your own medicine.”

Shit.

I turned away, scrubbing a hand down my face.

He was right.

Even if Beth and I were only pretending to date, I’d brought her here. I shouldn’t have been flirting with Amy. I … I wanted to prove that I wanted other women.

Amy was gorgeous … but the truth was I felt nothing.

Until I saw Baird touching Beth up in his bedroom.

Then I’d felt something like white-hot fucking jealousy and anger.

This was messed up. “Maybe I should tell her the deal is off.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re right.” I shifted uncomfortably. “I want her.”

“What’s the problem?”

“The deal,” I huffed. “The fact that her dad is Braden Carmichael. The fact that I don’t want a relationship, and she ran a podcast at uni about the search for the right guy.”

Baird narrowed his eyes. “Did she tell you that?”

Heat hit my cheeks. “I might have googled her.”

My friend’s lips twitched. “You sure you don’t want a relationship?”

“You know I don’t.”

“So, you wouldn’t mind if I had a crack at her? You know I’m not averse to finding the right lassie.”

“Baird …” I stepped toward him. “You’re like a brother to me, but if you keep dangling that threat over my head, we’re going to have a problem.”

Baird burst out laughing. “Fuck. You’re a fucking idiot.” He shook his head. “I’m only messing with you, and you’re so far gone for Beth, you’re making it easy for me.”

My hands curled into fists at my sides.

My mate sighed heavily. “She’s a nice lassie and she shouldn’t be walking home alone … so are you going to chase after her, or am I?”

I gave him a gentle shove out of the way and hurried from his place without saying goodbye to anybody.

Thankfully, I caught up with Beth quickly. She was easy to spot on the darkened pathway along the Water of Leith. Her blond hair spilled down her back in messy waves, covering the slither of skin revealed between her top and shorts.

Those fucking shorts.

Those fucking shoes. The ties that were wrapped around her calves. I didn’t know why they were so sexy. Maybe because they drew attention to Beth’s long, long perfect legs.

Baird was right.

I was fucked.

It was high school all over again: As soon as I realized Beth Carmichael existed, every other girl ceased to exist for me. It was brutal. And it chafed I was letting that happen all over again.

But the sight of Beth jumping in fright at the sound of my approach made my teeth clench, and I forgot to be annoyed about wanting her. She’d been on edge lately. I didn’t think it was only about the CEO of Aura Beauty either. Something was going on with her.

“Oh, it’s you.” She uncrossed her arms and my gaze dropped to where the hem of her shirt rose to reveal a glimpse of skin. “What do you want?”

“To walk you home.”

“Why?” She stopped on the path. The water flowed by in a gentle stream, covering the sound of the city beyond us.

I stared at her incredulously. “Because it’s late in the evening, princess, and you shouldn’t be walking home alone.”

“No. That’s not what I was referring to. I meant in there, the party. One second you act like you’ve forgiven me for high school … and in the next, you bring me to a party and abandon me so you can flirt with another woman. And I know we’re just fake dating here”—she gestured between us—“but it made me feel weird and uncomfortable, and part of me thinks you meant to make me feel that way.”

Bloody hell. I’d forgotten how forthright Beth could be. Guilt and indignation swept over me. “You should know me well enough to know that I would never mean to make you feel that way.”

“Callan, I don’t know you anymore. Or, according to you, I never did.”

“I might have exaggerated. But you caught me off guard with what went down back then.” I took a step toward her, and she jutted her chin in defiance. The air crackled between us like it always had. “Truth is, you knew me then. And I haven’t changed that much.”

“Then why?”

Why? I wanted to believe for one second that I could want another woman. That Beth hadn’t come crashing back into my life and made me feel like that kid who couldn’t think about anything else but her and football.

But I couldn’t tell her that.

And I definitely couldn’t tell her that I could barely picture Amy’s face, and I hadn’t even noticed any other woman in that room tonight. Maybe … maybe I was holding onto the past after all, though. Maybe, and I hated to sound like a prick, maybe it was because Beth was the one person I’d wanted and hadn’t had. Maybe … if we scratched the itch, I’d return to normal.

“I’m sorry,” I chose to say. “If I made you feel that way. I really didn’t mean to.”

“Okay.” Beth started to walk again.

Deciding I owed her honesty, I fell into stride beside her. “Not going to lie, though, this deal is complicated by the fact that I do want to sleep with you.”

She almost tripped over her own feet.

I smothered a smile of satisfaction as she whirled on me, her mouth gaping like a fish out of water.

“You all right there?” I teased, patting her back. “Need some air?”

Beth shrugged off my touch. “Are you messing with me?”

“Nope. Just being up front.” This time I started walking, and she had to hurry to catch up with me.

“You want to sleep with me?” Her voice was several octaves higher than normal.

Trying not to laugh, I nodded. “Absolutely.”

“How? Why? What?”

“How? Well, usually a man’s penis is inserted into a woman’s vag?—”

“Not that!” She smacked my arm playfully, laughter in her voice.

I ignored her, grinning. “Why? Because you’re sexy as hell, and I’d quite like to hear how you sound when you come.”

Not to my surprise, she raised an eyebrow. “A wee bit arrogant to think you could make me come, no?”

I chuckled, pleasure zinging through me at the challenge. “Oh, I could make you come multiple times. As for the what? I’m not sure I understand the question.” My look dared her. “Can you honestly say you don’t want to sleep with me? Hate sex is supposed to be amazing.”

She stopped again and waited for the couple coming toward us to pass before she said, sounding almost hurt, “I don’t hate you. Do you hate me?”

Christ, I wanted to, but she made it impossible. “No. I don’t hate you, Beth.”

The hurt in her eyes dimmed and with it the ache it had caused in my chest.

I reached for her hand. “In case anyone’s watching.” It was such a bloody pathetic excuse.

Exhaling heavily, Beth slipped her hand into mine. I squeezed it almost unconsciously. Then we walked back to Loverose Lane.

“I do … I am attracted to you,” Beth admitted. “I always have been. But I’m looking for something real with someone, and a hookup with you … it would only complicate everything. Especially … well … I think we’re finally getting to a good place. Friends, perhaps?”

Friends .

The word sounded ridiculous when it came to Beth.

But if she wanted more than sex, I couldn’t give her that. “Okay.” I squeezed her hand again. “But if you ever change your mind about scratching that itch, I live right upstairs.”

Her nod was quick and uncharacteristically self-conscious, and she wouldn’t meet my eyes.

The walk back to our flats was quiet. We didn’t speak, but I knew we were both thinking about sex because this invisible tension crackled around us the entire time.

And when we stopped at her apartment door and she finally looked in my eyes … my skin felt too tight and too hot, and I knew by the flush high on her cheeks she was turned on too.

To my disappointment, she choked out a good-night and fled our attraction with a fumbling, hilariously awkward attempt to get into her flat. I almost brushed her aside and took her keys off her because every second she lingered was a second that pushed me toward begging her to change her mind.

Thankfully, she shouted triumphantly, “Got it! Night!” as the door swung open, and she fell inside. She’d been in such a hurry to get away from me, she tripped over her own fucking feet and fell on her hands and knees.

Before I could help her, she kicked out with a foot, yelling, “I’m okay!” and the door slammed shut in my face.

I didn’t know whether to laugh or groan. In the end, I did both.

And when I got home, I took a very long, very cold shower.