43. Beth
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
BETH
W e did get a room. My old bedroom, to be precise.
After dinner (where we behaved ourselves for Elle’s sake) and dessert, Elle got her selfie with Callan (and it was adorable), and then made us watch some weird comedy she was in love with. Thankfully, the episodes were only thirty minutes long and after the first one, Elle’s best friend called, and she disappeared into the sitting room to gossip.
I gave Callan a tour of the rest of the house.
“It’s amazing, Beth,” he told me as we climbed to the top floor. “Dream house.”
“I know.” I tugged on his hand, leading him into my old bedroom. “I was lucky to grow up here.”
My siblings and I had shared the floor and the gargantuan bathroom on it. My bedroom was the largest because I was the oldest, and my parents hadn’t changed a thing since I’d moved out. A massive four-poster bed sat against one wall. There was a dressing area and a study corner. Two tall Georgian windows offered a view across Queen Street Gardens at the back of the house. The paneling in here had been painted a silvery gray-blue, and the soft furnishings were a mix of blush pink, silver, and blues. It was a pretty sophisticated room for a teenager, but I’d loved it.
Callan whistled as he walked through it. “I think princess is spot on.”
His tone was affectionate, so I knew he was teasing. But he wasn’t wrong. It was a bedroom fit for a princess. I sat on the bed, watching him look around. Pick up things. Stop to study the photographs I had pinned to the wall above my desk. There were lots of my family and extended family, a ton of me and Amanda. I couldn’t bear to part with the latter, even though they still hurt to look at.
Finally, Callan sauntered over to me and sat on the edge of the bed.
“What are you thinking?”
He leaned his elbows on his knees, still gazing around the room. “That you can feel the love in this house, even with only you and your sister in it.”
I swear my heart throbbed. “Then you’re feeling it right. There is definitely a shit ton of love in this house.”
“I’m glad. I’m glad you have that.”
We were quiet a moment, but I ached for him … so I dared to say, “You must miss them.”
Knowing I referred to his mum and stepdad, Callan swallowed hard. He sat back on the heels of his palms and met my gaze. “Every day. There’s always something I wish I could tell them. Sometimes I look up into the stands during a match, and I imagine them there. Cheering me on. Instead, sometimes I see Gavin. He’s started coming around again. Showing up at the games. At training. He pretends like he had anything to do with where I got. Embarrasses me. Hounds me for money.”
My stomach plummeted at his confession. “Why didn’t you tell me before?”
“Ashamed.” He shrugged. “Ashamed that he’s technically my father. That I have to put up with that. Last time he was there, we got into a physical altercation.”
I rubbed a hand over his shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”
“The gaffer asked me if I wanted him banned from the grounds. But I worry he’ll retaliate. And the truth is, he did take me in after Mum and Dad died. Put a roof over my head.”
Anger flushed through me. “A foster carer could have put a roof over your head, Callan. He is your birth father, yes, but he gave you nothing that mattered. You don’t owe him anything, and if he’s infiltrating a place that feels like home, you should have him banned.”
“You see that, don’t you?” His lips curled at the corners. “That Caley United is home for me.”
“I do. And now that we’re seeing each other for real, I’d like to come visit that home.”
“You mean come to a game?”
“Aye. If that’s okay?”
“I’d like that.”
“Ban Gavin,” I pressed. “If it’s what you really want.”
Callan considered me. “He knows about you. I don’t want my actions coming back on you.”
“Don’t you worry about me. I’m good. You do what you need to do. You don’t owe Gavin anything. He’s just scum trying to ride your coattails.”
“Life’s a bitch, ay. Mum and Dad gone. Amanda gone. But wastes of space like him roaming around. Sometimes I miss them so much, I feel like I can’t breathe. I’m twenty-five and there are days I feel twelve all over again.”
Pain flared in my chest. “I’d give anything to give them back to you.”
The muscle in his jaw flexed as he fought down some overwhelming emotion. “Sometimes I think it would have been easier if they were more like Gavin. It would have been better not knowing what it was like to have good parents.”
“You wouldn’t be you, then, Captain. You’re a good man, and part of that comes from being raised by good people.”
“Am I good, though? Maybe I’ve got some of Gavin in me. I hurt you,” he said hoarsely. “I worry about hurting you again. I mean, I fucking coerced you into getting me a meeting with your dad. You were dealing with anxiety and Amanda, and I piled more on by forcing that situation.”
“You didn’t force anything,” I promised. “Also, I’m sorry you haven’t had that meeting yet.”
“That’s not the point.” Callan waved a hand. “I couldn’t give a fuck about that. I care about the way I treat you. I never want to be the man who hurts you. And I hurt you. Several times.”
“I hurt you first. Didn’t I? In high school?”
“We were kids.”
“Callan …”
“Aye,” he agreed impatiently. “You hurt me.”
“I’m sorry.” I leaned in and brushed a kiss across his jaw. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
“No.” I turned his face gently. Staring into his eyes, I promised, “It hurt me too. I tried to tell myself it wasn’t a big deal because we were just kids and I didn’t want to cause issues with my parents and with Amanda … but it was a big deal to me, Callan. I did a really good job of pretending it wasn’t, but I missed you so much. Why do you think I went out with stupid Ryan Preston?”
He curled his lip. “Why did you?”
“Because at the time, I was angry that I’d given up the person I wanted to be with and thought if I couldn’t have you, it didn’t matter who I went out with.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously. But I quickly realized that dating no one would’ve been better than going out with Ryan.”
Callan smirked at that. “Aye, you’re no’ joking.”
“When I saw you carrying that god-awful sofa upstairs with the lads that morning, I was both excited to see you after all this time and terrified that I’d start crushing on you all over again. It seemed easier that you wanted not one thing to do with me.”
He studied me, eyes searching as I continued to confess, “I was jealous of the girls you brought home. I couldn’t admit it to myself.”
“I’d never know it by the way you befriended every single one of them,” he teased.
“Well, it wasn’t their fault you wanted them and not me.”
“I wanted you. I have never in my life not wanted you. I can’t even remember them. I know that makes me an utter arsehole, but the truth is, you were the first and only girl who ever got in there.”
Pleasure curled in my belly as I placed my palm over his heart. “In here?”
Callan nodded.
“Do you forgive me?” I asked suddenly.
“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t. Do you forgive me?”
“From the moment I saw you sitting on my doorstep.” I leaned my head on his shoulder, placing a soothing hand on his knee as I stared at my room. “Do you trust me? Do you trust me to put you first now?”
He didn’t hesitate. “I do.”
“Good. Because … you’re my best friend.”
I felt his lips gentle on the top of my head. “You’re mine too,” he promised gruffly. “Though don’t tell Baird that.”
I laughed softly. “I’m so glad we found each other again … but there’s a part of me that resents the years we missed. I would’ve loved to bring you back here then. Give you me, give you this family.”
“We can’t look back, princess. If I’ve learned anything from losing my parents, it’s that. Looking back … it drives you round the bend with grief.”
“You’re so wise,” I whispered.
A few seconds passed and then he said, “Though this bedroom being so far away from the living spaces would have come in handy when we were teens.”
I giggled. “I wouldn’t know.”
He pulled away and I looked up at him. He seemed surprised. “You’ve never had sex in here?”
“Just with myself.”
Callan’s eyes grew hot. “Do you think Elle would miss us if we stayed in here a bit longer?”
I was already pushing him back on the bed. “We have to be really quiet, though.”
“I’m not the one who can’t keep quiet,” he panted as I yanked at his zipper.
“Just for that, I ought to torture you, but we don’t have time.” I straddled him, bending over to swallow his laughter in my kiss.
What followed next was a quick, quiet fuck in my old bedroom … and it was awesome.
Afterward, as we righted our clothing and tried our best not to look like we’d had sex, I suddenly remembered Mhairi.
“Shit.” I paused at my bedroom door.
“What?” Callan asked, alert.
“We had sex without a condom again.”
“I thought you were on the pill.”
“Well, Mhairi, my photographer, is pregnant, even though she was on the pill. So no more condomless sex.”
Callan’s lips formed a moue.
“Are you actually pouting?”
“No. Maybe.”
“Maybe baby ?” I asked wide-eyed.
Callan’s eyes flared. “Right. You’re right. Condoms from now on.”
Glad we were in agreement, I strode out of the bedroom, reaching back for his hand. He took it, but even though he was holding onto me, I almost stumbled on the stairs when he said, “Taking you bare will be something to look forward to when we are ready to get pregnant.”
“Right,” I squeaked out, doing my very best to hide my inner MY BOYFRIEND WANTS TO HAVE BABIES WITH ME SOMEDAY scream.
The man had made quite the one eighty in the past few days. Almost losing me really had shaken the bachelor out of him.
I was still reeling from this astoundingly ecstatic news when we wandered into the sitting room to find Elle curled up on an armchair. She took one look at us and scrunched up her face. “You two did it in your bedroom, didn’t you?”
Callan made a choking sound.
I gaped in horror. How the feck did she know that?
I glanced down at our clothes to make sure everything was in its right place. It was!
“Aw, you did.” Elle grimaced as she got up to stroll toward us. “What is it with this family and the sex mania?”
“It’s not sex mania.” I turned to watch her pass. “Sex is a perfectly—Grandma Elodie! Grandpa Clark!” I gaped at the two people sitting on the sofa situated against the back wall of the room. The two people we had not noticed upon entry.
Callan spun around so fast, he stumbled into me.
Elle smirked devilishly at me. “Oh, Grandma Elodie and Grandpa Clark are back.”
My expression promised retribution. Whether it was two days or two years or twenty, I’d pay my wee sister back for this moment.
Grandpa Clark was visibly struggling to restrain his laughter while Grandma Elodie stood from the sofa and primly said, “Elle, fetch clean sheets from the second-floor laundry cupboard, will you?” Then the grandmother who flinched at discussions about farting held out her hand to my boyfriend and said, “Elodie Nichols, Beth’s grandmother. How should I address the man who just had sex with my granddaughter in her childhood bedroom?”
Elle broke out into peals of laughter in the hallway as Clark covered his with a few coughs.
Sometimes, I really hated this family.
But Callan, unperturbed, took Grandma Elodie’s hand and shook it congenially. “I’m Callan Keen. If it’s any consolation, the sheets are clean.”
My eyes practically bugged out of my head.
But Grandma Elodie nodded. “Good. You don’t scare easy. Maybe this one won’t pee his pants when he meets your father.”
Thankfully, Callan laughed while I wished the floor would swallow me whole. “Okay, very funny. No more sex talk in front of the grandparents.”
“Yes, I’d prefer that too. But you’re not running away. Come join us for a cup of tea.”
I looked at Callan and he nodded, his countenance telling me he was cool with that.
And that’s how we spent the rest of our evening, with my grandparents, over tea and biscuits. To my delighted surprise, Callan was totally at ease with them, and as we walked home to Loverose Lane, I felt a lightness I hadn’t experienced in a long time.
Grandma Elodie and Grandpa Clark liked Callan. I could tell. And Elle did too.
That was good … because I more than liked him.
I was so head over heels in love with this man, and the only thing better than that was the possibility of my family falling in love with him too.