10. Dani
10
dani
I stand against the railing, foot on the bottom rung, arms crossed on the top while I watch Cade make his way through a warm-up pattern with Lady. It was another early morning, one of my few off from the bakery, and I was hoping today I would see some improvement.
I had a show coming up in three weeks, and I was nervous that I wasn’t going to be able to get there.
Cade told me that if she does well today, he’ll bring a cow in and see how she does with the real live thing.
But I’m nervous.
When I started working at home with her, she would spook if she got near the fence and the flag at the same time. I tried different bits in her mouth, wondering if mine hurt her somehow. I tried different saddle pads, a different saddle. I had the vet come and make sure she didn’t have sores in her mouth or anything else bothering her that I couldn’t see .
Nothing I did made a difference to her reaction to the flag.
Cade slows her down in the middle, facing the wall where the flag is. He, like me, has a device that sits in his hand where he can easily move the flag in any direction he desires to get her to track it.
Her ears perk up, and I let out a slow breath, keeping quiet so I don’t disturb their focus. She watches as he moves the flag back and forth along the wall a couple of times. Her ears and eyes focus on the action, her breath still elevated from warming her up.
Cade puts his ball-capped head down and nudges her forward with his legs, she moves hesitantly, but at least she moves.
He puts his hand holding the reins down by her neck, giving her the slack she needs while he guides her to the left using his right leg.
I bite my lip as they get closer, watching Cade move the flag back toward the center. She takes a quick step toward it like she’s going to go for it, Cade encourages her with a few nudges to her sides and she trots forward three, four, five steps before she huffs and lets out a little squeal, takes a sharp left then bucks her hind legs out behind her with the spirit of a wild stallion .
I cover my mouth in surprise, watching Cade ride with her for a moment while he bends her neck to one side, disabling her from continuing with her bucking bronco debut.
I sigh, letting out a frustrated breath and rubbing a hand over my forehead.
I had so much hope that she was going to do what she needed, that perhaps being here in this healthy environment with a calm trainer would change her attitude.
I watch him ride her in a couple of circles, letting her trot out her willies and then come back to the center and start the process over again.
She breathes heavily and listens to his commands, her focus completely on him and the flag again. I admire this about Cade. His ability to get a horse back to where they started like their little disagreement didn’t even happen.
He nudges her forward, but instead of trying to go after the flag, she pitches sharply to the left, surprising both of us.
I watch him shake his head as he gets centered again.
He walks her around in circles a few times, resting his right hand on his right thigh and taking a few deep breaths. If I know anything, I know that he’s thinking through his options, planning for what he needs to do.
Heading back to center, he faces the wall again and dismounts. He moves the flag with his hand, getting it going at a decent rate back and forth, and Lady tracks the movements. He gives her bridle a small tug toward the flag as it moves, and she follows him willingly, making Cade smile slightly.
“See, there you go, nothing to be afraid of,” he says to her in a low voice, rubbing on her neck as she watches the flag.
He stops the flag right in front of her, and her nose lifts toward it, giving it a friendly sniff. Her breath picks up as she sniffs, and then Cade surprises her by moving the flag. She flinches, but he keeps a hold of her, comforting her with soft tones.
It’s rare for horse trainers his age to be this gentle. Another pro in the Cade column. Not that I would tell him that.
He moves the flag back and forth, walking Lady with it until he’s jogging with her, helping her track it without the fear of…well, whatever she’s afraid of.
The thought makes me frown. What on earth did Tommy Smith do to my horse to make her afraid of a flag ?
I shake my head. If I found out, I doubt I would be pleasant about it.
Cade walks Lady around a bit, letting her cool down before he walks my way, a satisfied smile on his face. “Well, I got my workout in for the day.”
I can’t stop the smile that spreads on my face in reply. “Didn’t think you’d be jogging around your arena this morning?”
He shrugs good-naturedly. “It takes the work it takes.”
A phrase he surely learned from his parents, I bet. We walk out of the arena, and I sigh as I start to untack her while Cade gets a drink.
“Any ideas on why she’s spooking?”
Cade leans against the wall of the tack room, catching his breath. The hot summer morning makes his shirt drenched with sweat, sticking to his nicely defined chest.
I rip my gaze away and refocus on Lady before he can catch me again.
I really need to stop staring at him.
“Not entirely sure. She did well on foot, so I’ll work on her with that for a few days before getting on again. My guess is she got forced to run the flag, likely while on some sort of anxiety medication, and the combo has her experiencing some form of PTSD.”
I shake my head as sadness overwhelms me. I lean my forehead to Lady’s. “Sorry, girl,” I murmur low, not wanting to be overheard. There’s nothing worse than knowing you were the reason for your animal’s distress.
I hear boots scuff along the concrete floor and feel Cade’s body heat behind me. He’s not close enough to touch, just close enough for me to feel his energy.
“It’s not your fault, Dani,” he says quietly to the back of my head. His hand comes to rest on my left arm, just above my elbow and the heat sears my skin.
Just one touch…
“It is my fault,” I reply, undoing her cinch and letting it fall to the other side. I step around her hind end while Cade stays put, and I grasp both the front and hind cinch, clasping them together and twisting them up to the leather piece that holds them. “I was the one who sent her to Smith. I’m the reason she’s dealing with this now.”
“You couldn’t have known he was going to drug her in-house. You didn’t know he was probably using way too much, way too often.”
I shake my head, disappointed in myself. “I should have known. That’s my point. ”
Cade sighs and shrugs. “Well, you didn’t. But the moment you found out, you got her somewhere safe. That’s what matters. Smith…” He shakes his own head in frustration. “Well, he’ll get what’s coming to him.”
I reach up to grab the saddle, but he beats me to it, sliding it off his side. I move down to her legs and start to take off her bell and splint boots, the soft material that’s designed to keep their legs protected when doing serious work.
I take my time rubbing her down, giving her extra love. Probably a product of the guilt I feel, but I doubt Lady minds the extra attention.
I take her to Cade’s wash rack and give her a rinse where the saddle was, cooling her off now that she’s had time to catch her breath.
Once she’s rinsed and cooled, I take her back to her spot, where General waits with excited ears. “Here, buddy, here’s your friend back.”
Lady makes her way into the stall and right out the back door where the runs that come off the barn are, giving the horses plenty of fresh air and space to move. And like I expected, she immediately starts rolling to scratch her back.
I roll my eyes, put her halter away and start to head toward my car, feeling less than satisfied with the day. I’m grateful Cade found a way to work with her, but in true human fashion, I was hoping for more progress.
“Dani, wait up,” I hear him call me from behind, and I slow, turning to see him jogging toward me, his spurs clanking with every step.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” He takes his ball cap off, running a hand through his overgrown hair that matches the beard he now wears. “What are you doing now?”
I raise a brow. “Heading home…”
“Do you want to…” He clears his throat and replaces his cap. “Let’s go grab lunch.”
I pause, wondering if he just…asked me out? “Um, I don’t?—”
“We can discuss Lady,” he interrupts. “You know, the plan for her moving forward.”
“I don’t know, CT.” I throw a thumb over my shoulder. “I was supposed to do some work for my folks and then head to the store.”
He nods, disappointment in his gaze. “All right.” He smiles at me kindly. “I understand. Another time.”
I give him a small smile and nod, moving away from him. Even though my body tells me not to move away, and my heart is begging me to reconsider, my head reminds me of how hurt I was when I allowed myself to get too close to Cade.
I can’t let my guard down.
I can’t afford a broken heart and a broken horse.