22. Dani
22
dani
The next morning, I woke up snuggling Cade Trevors.
He was shirtless, his skin was warm to the touch, and I had been practically using him as my own personal heater.
My mind flashed back to the nights we’d spent alone, though they’d been rare and usually in my dorm room whenever he came to visit me at school. I had the luck and fortune of having a single room, so I never had to worry about roommates. The mornings we woke up together, I took complete advantage of that.
I remember running my hand over his chest, the pale skin that never saw the sun that was a giant contradiction to his arms that were dark with a suntan.
Farmer’s tan.
Cade wasn’t a prude, and he enjoyed sex as much as I did. I used to love waking him with my hand, with my mouth, loved taking him apart at the seams. It gave me a sense of power that I reveled in.
The temptation to do that this morning had been overwhelming. So much so that I bolted out of his trailer before he had a chance to do anything.
I knew Cade’s intentions, ones that I was starting to come around to.
In fact, my heart and head were currently at war with the thoughts that were swirling around like a tumultuous storm.
My head, knowing that I would be risking getting even more hurt than I did before, while my heart begged for me to give Cade another chance, to give a future that I’d all but given up on another shot.
In the last six years, he’s grown up a lot. I can tell by his actions, by his words. He learned from his mistakes and was willing to make another go of it. To make up for it.
I’d grown, too, and hoped that I was ready to see what a relationship with him would be like now that we were older, more mature.
I’m lost enough in my thoughts that when I exit the bathroom where I showered, I run right into someone. Hands clasp around my upper arms, and I squeak in surprise as my eyes connect with Tommy Smith’s .
“Smith, let me go,” I tell him firmly, yanking away from him and standing tall.
Tommy sneers down at me, a nasty smirk on his face that I only ever saw one time. When I told him that I wouldn’t be training at his facility anymore. He liked to pretend he was an easygoing guy, but he was genuinely a righteous prick. He raises his hands defensively.
“Hey, just trying to keep you from falling.”
I grit my teeth and make a move to go around him, but his arm shoots out, his hand connects with the wall, and I glance around the little hallway we’re in, but there aren’t nearly enough people awake this early.
He waited for this moment.
I get a chill down my spine at what that means. That he was waiting and watching for me to be alone.
“What do you want?” I ask hastily.
He leans closer, the smell of cigarette smoke on his breath. My back touches the cold concrete wall, sending an eerie chill down my spine. “I want you to keep your mouth shut,” he whispers to me, his eyes wide with anger, hate oozing out of them.
“Keep my mouth shut about what?” I try to sound nonchalant, but my voice comes out hitched, and the truth is that I’m terrified. He doesn’t look right. Doesn’t look sane.
He chuckles without humor. “That’s cute.” His hand reaches out and grasps my chin in his grip. I try to yank away unsuccessfully, my arms full of my bag and clothes I hastily grabbed from the shower floor. “What you saw and heard at my barn is my business.”
“Fine,” I spit out, his grip on my jaw growing tighter. How pissed will he be if I knee him in the balls? Could I reach? I glance down, trying to judge the distance.
“You can also tell Trevors to mind his fucking business,” I glance back up at those words and watch anger like I’ve never seen before cross over Tommy’s face, and I decide, for my own safety, that kneeing him in the balls is probably not the brightest idea.
“I don’t control what CT does.”
He laughs louder than he should if he doesn’t want people to find us. “That’s adorable.” His eyes grow dark, and he leans in closer, almost like he’s going to kiss me, and I try to jerk back again, hitting my head against the wall. We’re too close, and I’m not able to get his hands off my face. It’s going to bruise for sure. “You’ve always worn the pants in your relationship.” He shrugs. “I’m sure you can find a way to make him let it all go. ”
Disgusted with him, with this whole situation, I drop my things and shove him in the chest, and he takes a step back, pointing one finger at me. “Keep this conversation in mind, West.”
I wait until he leaves to roll my eyes. Calling me by my last name to try to, what, make this an old Wild West shoot-out situation?
Gently I feel my jaw. It’s sore to the touch, so is my head, but thankfully when I touch it, there’s no bump. I walk back into the bathroom to make sure there are no visible marks, and my eyes well with stressed and relieved tears.
The bathroom is thankfully empty this early, so I don’t have to explain when I let the tears fall. I’ve never been handled like that before, and my heart blooms with sympathy for anyone who’s had to deal with that.
I’ve always thought if I had to be in a situation like this, I would just fight, that I wouldn’t ever let a man touch me.
But I froze.
Froze in shock and fear over what Tommy might do to me.
I think about Cade sleeping peacefully in his trailer, none the wiser about what just happened, and I’m grateful because if I know anything about Cade’s temper, it’s that he wouldn’t stand for Tommy putting his hands on anyone.
I quickly run cool water over my wrists and look at myself in the mirror, making a plan to stay far, far away from that prick.
“Cheers to the dynamite duo who took their classes by storm this morning!” Amy lifts her glass, and we all clank our beers together.
I was able to put aside what happened this morning, letting it fade like a long-forgotten memory and focus on why I was here.
After I did my run—one of my best of the week—we waited around for Cade to take his turn.
Poco was on fire today, and they make an amazing team. Their scores were in the top five spots today, and that, combined with yesterday, will look amazing for them both.
“Cheers,” I say, tapping Joanna’s bottle, then the rest of the group.
After this morning’s encounter, I kept trying to keep up a positive outlook and not think about Tommy’s threats.
I saw him a few times but always kept my gaze away from him when he tried to stare me down. Cade was glued to my side for most of the day, and normally, I might tell him I don’t need him with me every second, but I couldn’t help the comforting feeling it gave me to not be walking around alone.
I could tell he noticed I wasn’t my usual self. I tried to keep things normal, but it still shook me. He’d asked about it once, briefly, and I had brushed him off. I wasn’t ready to talk about it. I had already had to spend twenty minutes in the bathroom covering my chin and jaw in makeup to hide the bruises that were slowly becoming visible.
I shake myself from my thoughts and focus on the present.
Hank and Cade set up a dartboard, and we all separate into teams. Amy alternates between teams, so it’s even, and we drink and play, catching up with each other and our plans going through the season.
After a few hours, I’m more than a little tired and bid the crew good night, walking behind Cade’s folding chair and patting him on the shoulder in a bye gesture. He tries to get my attention, but I keep walking .
Once I’m settled into my trailer, the door propped open thanks to a still busted AC unit, I look in my little hand mirror and can tell that the bruises are coming through even more prominently than before.
I slump. “Great, just what I need.”
I dig through my bag and find a makeup remover wipe, clearing my skin of the foundation I have slathered over the marks.
Shaking my head at the thought of Tommy touching me, I eye the bruise marks on my face. This was going to be hard to cover up, and I’m not even that good at makeup.
I stand and am about to strip out of my clothes and boots when I hear my name called. I reach over and turn my overhead light off quickly.
Cade can’t see the bruises. I’m not sure how he’ll react, but it is best to just keep it to myself. Tommy couldn’t do anything to me, couldn’t hurt me so long as I was smart about watching my surroundings. There was no reason to stir up drama just for the sake of it.
“Dani.” He comes into view and gives me a charming smile, leaning an arm against the door of my trailer. “What are you doing?”
“Oh, I was tired. I need some sleep. ”
“Yeah, I know, but what are you doing here?” Cade gestures to my trailer. I can tell by the playful glint in his eye that he’s more than a little tipsy, and I smile at seeing him like that. He’s always more relaxed when he drinks—who isn’t?—but it was more than that. It was Cade being himself again, allowing himself to have fun when he’s carried a world of stress and grief on his shoulders for the past six years.
“I figured I took over your bed enough last night. I’ll sleep here tonight.”
He frowns. “You can’t sleep here. It’s too hot.”
“It wasn’t as bad today,” I protest. “I’ll keep the door propped.”
“The fuck you will,” he rebuts, and even though he’s keeping his voice calm, I can tell by the look on his face that he’s appalled at the idea.
It’s not the safest, I admit to myself.
I can already feel myself wavering.
“You’re sleeping in my trailer…” He pauses for a moment. “If you were uncomfortable with me in the bed, I’ll sleep on the floor. But you’re not sleeping here.”
I melt a little inside, knowing he means it. “I wasn’t uncomfortable.”
He nods like he already knows that isn’t the problem and waves his hand. “Well, come on then. Don’t make me carry you.” He quirks a brow. “Unless you liked it?”
I chuckle lightly and grab my bag. Stepping out of the trailer, he puts his hands on my hips and helps me down, and we let the trailer door slam shut.
He reaches over and grasps my hand, interlocking our fingers and dragging me to the trailer. We enter, and Cade says, “I’ll change in the tiny-ass bathroom.”
I laugh at the grumpy tenor of his voice.
“You can change out here. Let me know when you’re done.”
As soon as the door shuts, I quickly gather my tank and shorts, step out of my boots and shuck my jeans and shirt off, slipping my sleep clothes on and tying my hair up. “I’m decent.”
Almost immediately, the door opens, and I’m still tucking my stuff into my bag.
“You don’t have to do that. You can leave your stuff wherever,” he tells me, coming to stand close. He’s back to wearing his shorts, no shirt, and I have to force my eyes away.
Without thinking, I look up at him and smile. “Then we’ll be tripping?—”
He frowns intensely and places a hand on the side of my head, gently turning it.
Shit .
I wasn’t thinking about the fact that his trailer was ten times brighter than mine when I came over here. I was only thinking how happy I was that we were finding this weirdly neutral ground, and I didn’t want to stomp all over it.
“What the fuck?” Cade whispers, his eyes ablaze. “Where did you get those bruises?”
He tilts my head this way and that, his anger getting more intense by the second, but his hand never gets tighter than a gentle touch.
Cade would never hurt me or anyone.
Well, any woman, at least.
“It’s nothing,” I lamely deflect, thinking of other things that would cause them.
Then I pause.
Why am I protecting Tommy Smith? Why am I taking this choice away from Cade? If he wants to do something about it, he can. He’s a grown man, and I was hurt by someone who clearly hasn’t had to deal with the consequences of his actions.
I swallow, Cade watching, waiting for me to tell the truth. “Tommy cornered me this morning.”
Cade swallows hard and takes his hand from me, his hands curl into fists, and his chest rises rapidly. “He what?”
“He…” I pause to think back to the conversation. “He doesn’t want me spreading rumors about him drugging horses for sport,” I tell him, and if possible, the anger in his eyes grows until a raging inferno takes the place of his normally calm and serene hazel color. “He also told me to warn you away from bugging him about things.” I phrase this as sort of a question, and Cade snorts, reaching for a shirt that was tossed on the table and goes to put it on.
“What are you doing?” I ask, reaching out to grab his arm before he can put the shirt on.
“I’m going to find this fucker and make myself perfectly clear,” he declares, his nostrils flaring.
“Okay,” I start, then try to figure out how to calm him down. At least for now. “How about this? You come cuddle with me in bed for a bit, and if you still feel like finding him in the morning, I won’t say a word.”
Doubt fills his eyes, his hands already in the shirt, ready to whip it on. “You won’t stop me?”
I raise my hands. “I have no reason to tomorrow, but tonight, your emotions are heightened, and you’ve been drinking. I just was hoping you’d wait. ”
Understanding dawns, and he sighs, shaking his head without looking at me. It takes a few moments for him to calm down before he puts his shirt back on the table. Suddenly, he reaches forward and picks me up. I release a girly squeal and cling to him.
“Then I’m taking you up on that cuddling,” he announces, climbing the few steps to the bed and laying us side by side. We face each other, and I watch as the adrenaline he was previously feeling drains slowly from his body.
“You okay?”
He shakes his head. “I should be asking you that. I can’t believe he fucking hurt you.” Swallowing hard, he says, “You know I can’t let him get away with this.”
I nod. “I know, I understand.”
He gently brushes some of the hair that fell out of my ponytail behind my ear, his touch igniting parts of me that have been dormant for too long.
His eyes are cool now as we look at each other. I can’t tell what he’s thinking, but my mind is racing with memories of how we used to be, of how he used to stare at me, then tell me all the dreams he had for our future. It was maybe unusual to some that a man so young was ready to settle down, but Cade was .
There was one thing I never doubted, and it was his love for me.
Well, never doubted until that awful day.
But I see it now. I see in his eyes that he’s not in that horrid hurricane of grief anymore. I can see him start to heal himself.
I am so beyond glad that I almost feel like crying.
His hand rests on my waist, and he watches me.
“Dani,” he whispers, leaning his face forward. I tilt my chin up, unable to help myself. “Can I kiss you?”
I don’t have the words, so I just nod, and immediately, his lips come down on mine, eliciting a moan from me.
I reach forward, my hand running over his naked torso, and his tongue prods at my lips, begging for entry. I grant it, and I can taste the mint of his toothpaste on my tongue as it glides across mine. I nearly moan again at the taste of him.
His hand digs into my hair, holding my head to him and angling my mouth just right.
I let him take the lead on the kiss.
We go on like this for several minutes before he pulls away, pecking my lips once before he pulls back to look at me, and I smile dazedly at him.
“Dani West, I have missed kissing you. ”
Just like that, my heart gives a little thump-thump , and I can no longer deny that my feelings for Cade Trevors never really left me at all. They were just locked away until he twisted the key and let them out again.
And though I knew I was risking my heart once more, I had faith that he would protect it at all costs.