41. Dani
41
dani
Work was much slower than normal, but it could have just been my arm hindering me from doing anything necessarily useful.
Aveline was kind enough to let me come in and try to keep working, though with one hand, carrying and moving things was awkward. So, to help, I took over ringing up customers while Tori boxed up their goodies.
After Thanksgiving, the crowds were slim.
Just the week before, everyone and their mother and grandmother wanted pies from Belle’s Bakery. Thankfully, Aveline’s mother, Maebelle, had come in to help and get the orders out.
I was there but not as much help as I would have liked to have been.
Thanksgiving Day came and went without much fanfare for me, but I was okay with that. I hadn’t really felt in a celebratory mood. Mom and Dad headed to the Trevors’ place with my “blessing,” as Mom said. They insisted they didn’t have to go, but I assured them it was fine. I could see how excited they were about going back to the ranch for the holidays.
We don’t have too much extended family we see, aside from my aunt and cousins, and the Trevors used to be that family.
I never want to be the one to ruin it.
So, I stayed at home and binge-watched Netflix while eating the goodies Mom bought me from the store.
I was sad to have missed the holiday, but I couldn’t have faced him. Not yet.
I ring another customer up, pasting a smile on my face and wishing them a good day. Tori tells me we need more boxes and heads toward the back, so I’m left alone when Quinn walks through the door.
Her little girl isn’t with her, and her smile—though kind—is sympathetic. Oh great, I was hoping I could have another round of “poor Dani.”
I sigh at my own internal monologue. Stop being so snarky, I tell myself.
“Hey girl,” Quinn says, leaning against the counter. She’s here often enough that I know her coffee order and slowly get started on it .
“Hey, how was your holiday?” I ask, making the same conversation as I have with every other customer this morning.
“Holiday was good, though I ate way too much. I’m pretty certain I gained a pound or two. My jeans aren’t fitting.”
I chuckle lightly. “I can understand that. Did Cal make his famous turkey?”
“Oh my gosh.” She makes an astonished face. “How does he do that?”
I shrug and pour in the cream. “I don’t know, but it’s like crack turkey. It’s so good we used to beg him to make two. I remember eating it as a teen, and every one of us would pass out in the living room after we ate because we’d overeat and get hit with a tryptophan coma.”
Quinn laughs. “Right! I was on the couch before dessert was even mentioned.”
I smile and hand over her coffee. She takes it and hands me her card. “So,” she starts. I refrain from rolling my eyes.
My few interactions with Quinn have been pleasant. I could see her being a great friend—ah, could have seen her being a great friend.
“How have you been?” she finally asks, interrupting what was sure to be a thought that sent tears to my eyes. She raises a hand before I can speak and closes her eyes. “I know this isn’t my place. Hell, Graham told me not to bother you.” She kind of grumbles the sentence, and I can’t help but crack a small smile at her defiance. “But I can’t help it. I see you two all sad together but apart, and I just want to help.”
I sit on the stool Aveline insisted I have behind the counter and let out a deep sigh. “I don’t really know what to say.”
She nods. “I understand that. Those Trevors boys are stubborn as hell. When Graham and I were first together, I—well…” She waves a hand. “I did something stupid, and he was not interested in hearing me out. I basically had to bare my heart to get him to listen.”
I nod. “Cade’s told me a little bit.” She watches me, and I shrug my shoulders. “I don’t really know what to say, Quinn. I asked him to be straight with me, to be honest, but his fear is holding him back. How can we move forward together when individually he won’t take that step forward?”
Quinn’s smile is small and full of empathy. She twists the coffee cup between her hands. “I’ve heard a lot about Donna,” she starts, a fond smile on her lips. “She sounded like the perfect mom, the perfect wife. I’m sure she had her moments, we all do, but ever since I’ve been with Graham, she’s been up on this pedestal.”
“She deserves the pedestal,” I defend, not knowing where she’s going with this.
“I’m not saying she doesn’t,” Quinn assures me quickly. “CT especially holds her up there, talks about her with reverence, tells me what a saint, what an angel she was. How she was always the first one to jump when there was an option for fun.”
I listen, unsure where she’s going with this.
“He puts you right next to her, up on that pedestal.”
I frown because that’s not at all what I was expecting to hear.
“When he talks about you, it’s like you’re this untouchable angel who can do no wrong. An angel with a temper, maybe.” She chuckles lightly. “But an angel nonetheless.”
I sigh and rub a finger over my forehead. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying, maybe instead of trying to get him to admit where he’s faltering, you tell him how you falter. You can’t possibly be perfect all the time, though I do envy that hair of yours.” She smiles, a teasing glint in her eye. “Maybe he needs to hear that you’re not so perfect, that for ‘perfect’ to be achievable, you need him in your life to balance you out.”
“You really think that will work?” I ask, running through all the places I falter.
Quinn shrugs and stands straight from her leaning position. “I don’t really know. I’m no expert on relationships. But if you love him and judging by the look on your face since I walked in here, you do. You’ll find a way to break through that wall.” She shakes her head, a thought maybe crossing her mind. “Just don’t give up on him yet, Dani. Graham’s never seen him so happy as he has been these last few months. Maybe that’s a lot to put on you, to ask of you, but sometimes one side of the partnership has to be the bearer of the strength. Take turns carrying each other, and it’ll work out.” Quinn taps on the counter and says, “If it’s any consolation, and again, this is none of my business, but I think it may be time for him to carry some of that weight.”
With that, she turns and makes her way out of the shop. I think about what she’s said, about how we have to take turns carrying each other.
Maybe my emotional burdens aren’t as large as Cade’s, but he has been there to push and carry me through my emotions. When I was upset about Lady being in poor care, he was the one to assure me I did the right thing. When I was stressed about showing, he pushed me through it, let me weep on his shoulders and tried to help me get myself together.
When I got bucked off, though he couldn’t stand to see me in the hospital, he was the one who carried me from that valley, who rode with me all the way to the house and then got me somewhere safe where he didn’t leave until I was with someone who would watch over me.
So, maybe not as one-sided as I thought we were.
Man, that makes me feel selfish.
I do not think what he’s done is right or okay. Pushing me away when we both need each other will never be what I want or what we need.
If I knew Cade, this whole situation wasn’t far from his mind, not in the slightest.
So maybe if I just give him a little time, a little grace, things will work out okay.
I clung to that hope as the next customer came in, and when I smiled and wished them a happy day, it was the first time it’s been genuine all day.