Chapter 26
CHAPTER 26
MAEVE
T he ride home was the most awkward six and a half minutes of my life, and yes, I did time it. Being stuck in close proximity to the man who’d fucked me over and broke my heart wasn’t only awkward but also humiliating.
My brain was scrambling for answers, and the more I thought about what Callum O’Shea had done, the more it wound me up. By the time we pulled into the courtyard behind the bar, I felt like a powder keg about to blow.
My husband cut the engine, sat back in his seat, and heaved out a sigh. “Look, Maeve, love?—”
“Not here,” I interrupted. “We’ll go upstairs.”
He agreed with a nod and threw his door open. Jumping down, he ran around the hood.
Callum always helped me down from the truck, but my boots were already hitting the ground by the time he got to me. I saw his jaw clench, but he didn’t say a word. He probably took one look at the pinched expression on my face and didn’t dare.
Turning my back on him, I walked toward the back door to the bar, my steps faltering when I saw the door was ajar.
Callum walked ahead of me and shrugged. “I was in a hurry to leave.”
“Are you mad?” I asked snippily. “Last night’s takings are in there.”
“I don’t care about the takings.”
“You should,” I retorted. “You need to stay on top of business. This isn’t a game, Callum O’Shea. Your love for the place is what got us here. There’s no point letting things slide now.”
“No,” he denied. “My love for you is what got us here.”
I didn’t want to cry—giving him that satisfaction made me madder than a banshee—but every time he mentioned his love for me, I lost it because how could he say he loved me and then turn around and lie to my face?
We trudged up the stairs to the apartment in silence. Without thinking, I wandered into the living room and sat down. It occurred to me that the last time I sat here, pulling my boots on, I was the happiest girl in the world. How could my emotions flip so quickly and so painfully in such a short space of time?
Callum sat in the armchair opposite me. His elbows hit his knees, and my gaze fell on the strong, capable hands I loved so much. Callum’s fingers were long and elegant. Maybe it was weird for me to think about a man’s hands that way, but I’d always thought of him differently than other men. Perhaps that was why it had been so easy for him to embarrass me; the pedestal I’d put him on was too high for me to be able to see his true self.
“Can you say something, Maeve?” he whispered, his tone almost begging. “Scream at me, shout. Tell me I’m an asshole. Tell me I’m an eejit, baby, just don’t shut down. I love you so much, I’ll do anything to make it up to you.”
Those damned tears welled in my eyes again. I couldn’t control myself. My emotions were raw, like an open wound, and every time Callum talked about his so-called love for me, the words slashed me deeper.
“Tell me everything,” I scraped out, my throat hoarse from the permanent lump that had formed in the back of it. “Start from the beginning, and no more lies.”
“The first I knew about any of this was the day of Da’s funeral,” Callum began. “Da asked for Patrick to be present when Kennedy read the will. That was when I discovered there was a debt on the bar.”
“The day of your daddy’s funeral,” I reiterated.
He jerked a nod. “Kennedy left the room, and Patrick told me he couldn’t write the debt off, though he could give me time to pay it, but only if I married you.”
“What did you say?” I asked. Even though I knew I didn’t want to hear the answer, I needed to know.
“I told him no,” he admitted. “But it wasn’t about you. I didn’t want to marry anybody. I’d convinced myself I didn’t need a wife, that I was better on my own. Patrick could’ve offered me Angelina Jolie, and I would’ve balked at the idea.”
Something Shannon said to me on my wedding day echoed through my mind.
‘Your perfect fiancé asked Da for me and then Erin before he was made to settle for you.’
“That’s another lie,” I cut out. “You asked Patrick for my sisters, didn’t you?”
“Not for any other reason except that I knew them better,” he explained. “We’d hardly spoken, and I didn’t think we had anything in common. When we went to Patrick’s house during the summers, I’d try to talk to you, and you’d clam up and run away. It wasn’t that I didn’t want you. I just reckoned we wouldn’t suit. Think back to when Shannon tripped you, Maeve. I helped you up, and you looked into my eyes, and I was gone for you. Think back, do you remember that moment? I know you felt it, too.”
Callum was right; I remembered, and it was beautiful. I was in shock after falling. He helped me up, our stares locked, and time seemed to stand still.
Callum’s eyes were bright as stars that day, even though they were just a blur. I remembered how my heart swelled inside my chest while I gazed up at him in awe.
Now, my heart just ached.
“From that point on, it was always you, Maeve,” he croaked. “I wouldn’t have married anyone else. I didn’t know you before that day—we’d hardly even spoken. But I only had to look into your eyes once to know you were mine.”
“That’s not what you said in the car on our wedding day,” I snapped.
A sheepish look stole over his face. “I know, but Jesus, I didn’t have a clue. Thinking back, that was when I should’ve told you everything.”
“No, Callum O’Shea,” I clipped out. “You should’ve told me everything before our wedding ceremony.”
“I told myself I didn’t want you to back out because I’d lose the deal, but I know now that I didn’t wanna lose you. It was never about the bar, but I was too fucking proud and stupid to admit to myself and everybody around me that it was all about what I was feeling for you.” He leaned forward and rested his hand on my knee. “Bowie would’ve helped, and Mam, too, and I knew it. When I went to Patrick’s that night for dinner, I was still in two minds about what I was going to do. I thought I’d tell him to stick it up his arse and walk out. Then I looked deep into your eyes, and my heart made the decision for me, baby. After that, I searched for excuses to go through with the wedding instead of reasons to call it off.”
That part added up, at least.
The way he felt that night mirrored my emotions. We did have a moment, and everything changed as a result. Callum remained distant after that, but he wasn’t cold toward me like before. He was kind and thoughtful, and his newfound protectiveness toward me was obvious, like at the wedding when he told everybody to get out of the church.
I got it, and I understood, but there were still some questions I needed answers to.
“Tell me about what happened when we got back here,” I demanded.
His forehead furrowed. “What do you mean?”
“You brought me into this apartment and went about your life.”
His lips set in a line. “I fought it, Maeve. At first, I didn’t want to develop feelings for you, so I held you at arm’s length. Then you went back to New York for a few days, and I realized I missed you being around. That was when I began to accept that you were different from every other woman I’d met.”
“So, what did you tell your friends?” I asked, keeping my tone deceptively casual.
“Everything,” he stated.
My heart gave a sharp, painful squeeze.
And there it was...
“So,” I bit off. “You managed to tell your buddies that you’d been blackmailed into marrying me and was even paid for your trouble, but you couldn’t tell me?”
Slowly, the color drained from his face. “Maeve?—”
“And there’s the rub,” I stated. “You told me days before you’d prove how deeply you respected me. Instead, you discussed important details about my life with people I didn’t even know and then lied about it.” I pulled my knees up to my chin and hugged my legs. “Did you all have a good laugh at my expense?” My voice raised an octave. “Did they say, poor Callum, having to marry the ugly girl to save his family's bar? Did you feel big and clever that you made a fool out of me just so you could get what you wanted?”
“It wasn’t like that,” he protested. “I never wanted to make you look bad?—”
I leaned forward and shrieked, “But you did! You’ve humiliated me yet again! You’ve blindsided me yet a-fucking-gain. We’ve been back here weeks, and not once have you even hinted at any of this.” I jumped to my feet and began to pace the room, ranting as I went. “Jesus, Callum, Abe knew. Can’t you see how embarrassing that is? He doesn’t know me from Adam, but he knows more about my fucking marriage than I do .”
“It wasn’t like that,” he repeated.
“Yes, it was!” I screeched, throwing my hands in the air. “It was exactly like that. You told your friends you were blackmailed into getting married, but you didn’t tell the one person who deserved to know— your fucking wife! Can’t you see how crazy this entire debacle is? How unbelievably wrong it is on every level?” I pulled in a deep breath, trying to cool the fire ravaging my insides. As I exhaled, my shoulders slumped, and all the fight left my body, leaving me hollow.
“I love you,” he breathed. “It doesn’t matter how we got together; it just matters that we did.”
Tears sprang into my eyes again, and I swiped them away before tilting my chin up proudly. “Well, it means everything to me. Our marriage was a lie, and it remained that way because you weren’t honest with me.”
“I’m being honest now,” he said, his voice almost a vow.
I let out a humorless snort. “Only because you were caught.”
“I was gonna tell you?—”
“I don’t believe you.”
“I swear, Maeve,” he insisted. “Today, I was gonna tell you everything.”
“That’s the problem, Callum,” I whispered. “Lies weaken the power behind the truth. How can I believe a word you say anymore? How am I supposed to just ignore how much you’ve hurt me?”
“Let me make it up to you,” he pleaded. “I’ll show you.”
I looked up at his beautiful face, and it hit me soul-deep that I’d always love him. But love and trust went hand in hand. I had love, and I cherished it, but how could I be vulnerable and tell my deepest, darkest fears to a man I’d lost my faith in?
“I want you to give me an annulment,” I requested softly.
His face blanked. “No.”
“But you married me under false pretenses,” I reminded him, my voice getting pitchy again.
“No, wife, I didn’t,” he corrected. “I meant every word of my marriage vows.”
My eyes narrowed. “I can’t believe you. ”
His expression took on a look of cockiness. “You better fucking believe it, wife. I love you, and I’m not letting you go without a fight.” His face leaned closer, and he muttered, “You’re not getting a goddamned annulment.”
I popped a hip and cocked a brow. “’Cause it’s all about you , isn’t it?”
“No,” he denied. “It’s all about you, Mae. It’s all about us .”
“Got an answer for everything, haven’t you?” I snarked. “You think you can click your fingers, and every woman in a five-mile radius will fall on her back for you with her legs in the air. Well, you’ve met your match in me, Callum O’Shea. Agree to an annulment, or I’ll make your life a living hell.”
His mouth twisted into a stubborn line. “No.”
“ Whaddyamean , no?” I shrieked. “You can’t just say no and get your own way!”
“Can too,” he muttered. “’Cause you’re not getting a goddamned annulment.”
My tummy clenched, and my hands balled into fists. Callum O’Shea had me so damned wound up that I was surprised steam didn’t shoot out of my ears. “Screw you!” I screamed, turning and stomping toward the bedroom.
The soft laughter that followed me wrapped around my throat and squeezed so hard I could hardly think straight. A red mist descended over my eyes, and I hauled ass to the closet and dragged a large suitcase out into the bedroom.
“Fucking cretin,” I muttered under my breath, my tone turning to sarcasm. “ No , he says. Like that will get him back into my good books.” I hauled the case on the bed and dragged the zipper open.
A growl suddenly sounded from the doorway, and Callum grated out, “You’re not leaving me, Maeve.”
I strode back to the closet and grabbed a handful of his button-down shirts still on their hangers before stomping back to the case and shoving them in. “You’re right,” I snapped, shooting him a glower. “I’m going nowhere. You caused this, so you can fecking well leave.”
“I’m not going to my mam’s,” he stated vehemently, his tone slightly panicked.
I turned to him, resting my hands on my hips. “Well, you’re not staying here either, Callum O’Shea. And if you insist on it, then I’ll go.” Turning for the dresser, I plowed my way over, tugged a drawer open, and grabbed an armful of neatly folded tees. “Your choice. What’s it going to be?”
His eyes darted between me and the suitcase, watching as my feet stamped from the dresser to the closet, then back to his luggage, and I bundled his clothes inside.
“I wanna stay and work it out, baby,” Callum choked out. “Please, don’t make me leave you.”
I whirled around to face him. “I need space. You’ve hurt my heart so badly that it aches when I breathe. Even just looking at you makes me want to cry. I can’t be around you right now and function properly. You should’ve been honest with me from day one. The truth hurts once; you put it out there, we deal and move on. But dishonestly comes back to haunt you time and time again. It’s not the lie that’s the problem; it’s because you lied .” I sank down on the edge of the bed, suddenly spent. “You said you loved me, but how am I supposed to know what’s real and what isn’t?”
His ass hit the mattress beside mine, and he took my hand in his, splaying our fingers together, and just that one small gesture made moisture fill my eyes again.
“I’m sorry,” he croaked. “I know I’ve fucked up.”
My throat filled with emotion. I was happy Callum wasn’t making excuses. That would’ve made it even worse. Taking accountability went a long way in making it better, but nowhere near far enough.
“It’s the humiliation,” I whispered. “Everybody knew except me. How could that be, Callum? How could half the town know you married me under those conditions while I was totally clueless? I feel like a fool.”
His arm slid around my shoulders, and he pulled me into his side. “You weren’t the fool, Maeve. That was all me. I backed myself into a corner I couldn’t get out of.”
My head found the little nook that was created for me, and my heart wrenched. “I can’t believe this is happening to us.”
“I’ll go for tonight,” he agreed. “Tomorrow’s a new day.”
I froze.
“It’s just a blip,” he continued. “You just need a night to calm down, and then we can talk rationally.”
“Calm down?” I questioned. “Talk rationally?”
“Well. Yeah. It must be that red hair and your sexy Irish temper.” He snorted quietly. “And there was me thinking you were a pushover.”
“Pushover?” I questioned, my voice deceptively low.
He must’ve read my tone that time because I felt his body stiffen. “No. I meant when I first met you. I thought?—”
I shoved him away from me and jumped to my feet. “Pushover?” I screeched. “Oh my God. You’re such an asshole.”
He bent forward, elbows to knees, hung his head, and spat, “Fuck!”
Shooting him a glower, I stomped back to his dresser, grabbed shorts and socks, and tossed them into his suitcase. “You take me for granted. I married you and came here with good intentions. I thought we could try to be friends and part ways when we were ready. It was you who pushed for more. I should’ve known the joke would be on me. The joke’s always on me.”
He scraped a hand down his face before tipping his head up to address me. “I fell for you, Maeve. Whatever you think, please know I never meant to hurt you.”
I laughed dryly. “But you still did.”
“We can get through this. You just have to give me a chance.”
“Your chances are all used up,” I declared. “I told you the last time that it would be the last time. I meant it. And regardless of what you obviously think, I’m not a pushover.”
He looked up at me with misty eyes. “I don’t know how to leave you.”
My heart pulsed with a sharp ache because I understood exactly what he meant. If it was up to me, I couldn’t leave him either. It would be like ripping out my own soul. Making him go was the only way I could get through this. “Like I said. I need some space to think.”
“Then I’ll give it to you,” he murmured. “Even though being without you feels wrong on every level. I’ll give you that.”
My husband’s acquiescence made my throat close up, and I nodded silently.
Callum stood and made his way to the bathroom, eventually emerging with his hands full of toiletries. After throwing them into his case, he slowly zipped it closed and patted his pockets to check for his wallet and cell phone. “I’ll call you later,” he told me, a weird rasp to his voice.
I kept my chin up, eyes on the wall, and nodded again.
His lips hit my hair, and I had to close my eyes against the onslaught of emotions hitting me. A tear tracked down my cheek, and I silently prayed for him to go because if he didn’t, I’d break. Sending Callum away felt like I was fighting the laws of nature. We gravitated toward each other so easily and so naturally that making him leave me was going against every instinct I had.
My husband lifted his head and stepped away, and I shivered from the chill running through me. Keeping my eyes on the wall, I held my breath while he hauled up his suitcase, willing myself to hold it together. The ache in my chest was so damned intense that my ribs felt tight and constrictive, and when I finally heard the front door slam shut, exhaling was torture.
My ass hit the mattress, and I crawled up the bed, shoving my face in Callum’s pillow and sucking his clean laundry scent deep. My head was pounding, and my throat ached from the effort of holding back tears despite the fact I’d cried for most of the day.
I didn’t know what to do.
Maybe leaving town would be easier for everybody, and at least it would help me move on from Callum. But the thought of losing Tristan and Maureen, as well as the man I loved, crippled me, and I already felt so raw that I couldn’t take any more.
Closing my eyes was a relief, not only from the redness and soreness in them that came from a day of crying but also from the onslaught of thoughts and feelings hitting me from all directions.
The scent of Callum flooding my senses was comforting, and for a moment, I could forget and just imagine I was lying in bed with my husband, warm and safe in his arms.
The ache chest spread to my bones as I memorized it all. His scent, his smile, and the feel of his skin.
I wondered if I’d ever experience love like that again.
Having so much for a while had been the happiest time of my life, and for me, at least, it had been beautiful.