CHAPTER FIVE
Breck
W e piled into the Jeep and hit up a small local burger joint for lunch. It was technically within walking distance, but with Willow’s insistence on the flimsy leggings, driving was the prudent choice. Jamie, Rory’s friend, had a table waiting for us when we arrived.
I don’t know what I was expecting, but a hulking man with red hair and a beard wasn’t it. Willow took to him immediately, pointing out the way his slight Scottish accent was different to Rory’s but not quite like ours either. Sitting next to each other with her strawberry blonde hair, he and Rory look more like siblings than she and Wes do.
Was I curious to know if there was more between them? Maybe. But with the way she encouraged him to get the waitress’s phone number and her pleased expression when he did, I don’t think there is. And I don’t know why I felt relief with that realization… Not at all.
We didn’t linger after lunch, knowing we had a wardrobe explosion to clean up. I tried to help when we got back to the condo, but Rory seemed to have a system going, and I was only in the way. I also couldn’t stop my eyes from snagging on the picture on the bedside table. I finally had to walk away, leaving the girls in peace to do their own thing.
So, here I stand, in the kitchen drinking a cup of cold coffee, contemplating my life.
I’m a thirty-five-year-old single dad who ran to a foreign country because the mother of his child left him for a man he called a friend, a business partner. I’ve been unemployed since we sold the company, but I’ve promised myself not to dwell too much on that fact given how much the sale brought in. If it was enough to allow Talia to leave with Drew, it’s enough for me to enjoy this time with Willow.
Still… Nothing about my life looks the way it did even a month ago, and the future I’d envisioned for myself feels lost in the tumult.
By the time Rory has a comprehensive list of everything Willow needs and they trudge down the stairs, I can tell my little munchkin is waning on energy. Driving thirty minutes to go shopping is a no-go seeing as she’s already burrowing into the couch, and I’d like to avoid a meltdown. I scrub at the back of my neck, a sigh escaping my lips.
“I can go,” Rory says quietly from beside me. “I can grab you guys something for dinner while I’m out.”
“No. It’s okay. We can wait until tomorrow to shop and I’ll just order something in,” I protest. She must have better things to do, but she’s not taking no for an answer, and no matter how much it feels like I’m taking advantage of her kindness, I relent. She takes my credit card with a smile and a promise to be back soon.
If my broken, useless heart could feel something for anyone besides Willow right now, I think it would fall for Rory with the way she’s taking a bit of the burden off my shoulders.
The door clicks shut behind her and I fall into the couch. Letting Rory help feels like a slippery slope. I can’t become reliant on her. I can’t let her become a crutch over these next seven weeks, and I know it will be all too easy to do so. She’s already been more helpful and accommodating than I possibly deserve. Wes’s doing, no doubt. His guilt at not being here has manifested in lobbing the job of caretaking onto his sister. What I do know is that I cannot— will not —take advantage.
I tuck my daughter closely into my side and turn on Bluey . She got plenty of sleep last night, but jet lag is telling us both that we should’ve been asleep for the last eight hours. While she lounges against me, her breathing evening out in a way that tells me she’s drifted off to sleep against my chest, I pull out my phone to text Wes.
Me
How were the waves this morning? Do they miss me?
It’s less than a minute before I feel a vibration in my hand that pulls me from the sight of four animated Queensland heelers dancing on the screen.
Wes
I don’t know about the waves, but we sure do. I did catch a couple extra ones for you though. Getting settled?
I turn on my camera and flip it to selfie mode, watching a wide smile spread across my cheeks, just enough to cover the exhaustion. I snap the picture at an angle to include a conked-out Willow, then hit send.
Wes
I miss her too. She doing okay?
I’m not sure how to answer that. Honestly, Willow has handled this better than I expected. The first few days after I told her, she cried a lot and asked plenty of questions, but aside from being a little moodier, she’s her usual bubbly self. I’m not really sure how to feel about that. I know what it was like not to process my grief as a kid—hell, I’m still doing it—and I don’t want that for her.
I didn’t want any of this for her.
Me
She seems fine, but how can she be?
Wes
I’m just going to say it. You seem fine too, but how can you be?
Well, shit. I can’t argue with that. I am trying to be fine. I need to be for Willow. Right?
Me
Touché
Wes
Sorry. I just want to be sure you’re really okay too.
Me
I will be, mate.
Wes
I’m here, you know, if you need to talk. You didn’t push me, and I’m not going to push you.
But I am here.
Me
I know. Thanks.
Rory’s been a god-send. She’s out shopping for Willow to get her properly outfitted for a Tahoe winter… something I dropped the ball on. There’s supposed to be a couple feet of new snow this week.
Wes
She’s pretty amazing. I’m glad she’s able to help. I wish I could.
I can’t wait for the snow. Less than two weeks and I’ll be shredding that powder right alongside you.
I chew my lip, wondering if I should tell Wes that his sister is doing too much. That she has a life of her own, and I can do this… but I’m beyond exhausted. Saying no to the help she’s offering feels almost irresponsible at this point. Bluey ’s soft end-credit music drifts through the room and I’m out like a light, my mind blissfully clear in a way it hasn’t been in weeks.
A persistent knocking draws me out of sleep, and when I reach for my phone, I discover it’s been two hours. I scrub a hand across my face feeling the day’s stubble scratch my palm.
The knocking continues.
Shit. Rory .
“Coming!” I holler, and Willow startles awake next to me. “Sorry, Willow Bear.” I lean down and kiss her head before extricating myself from her lanky limbs.
I swing the door open and Rory stands there, a walking Target ad, loaded down with an absurd amount of bags.
“Bloody hell. Did you buy the whole store?” I ask incredulously, reaching out to grab as much as I can. “You haven’t been standing out here long, have you? We passed out on the couch.”
“Not too long,” she says, but her cheeks are bright pink like she’s been standing in the cold for a while. They match her lips perfectly.
I should not be looking at her lips.
I clear my throat and glance away. “Come on inside and warm up. Want a cup of coffee or something?”
“Sure, that sounds great.” I swear I see her teeth chatter around the words.
“Rory!” Willow’s excitement levitates her off the couch and she tackles her in a big hug. Rory bends to pull her in, rubbing a palm down her back, likely trying to syphon her warmth.
“Hey. Wait until you see all the fun stuff I got you.” She glances up from where she’s crouched and winks at me. “Your daddy gave me his credit card and I went all-out.”
Willow giggles, and a laugh bubbles up in me as well.
“Do you take milk in your coffee?” I ask, moving into the kitchen. “And do you mind if its reheated? Or I can make a fresh pot.”
“Reheated is fine and milk’s great, thanks. Okay, Willow, let’s get to the good stuff.”
She grabs a bag and starts pulling out item after item. Fleece-lined pants and jeans, sweaters and thermal tops, hats, gloves, heavy socks. Even flannel pajamas. Then there’s the snow gear. A pair of snow bibs and snow gloves that she somehow was able to match to the heavy jacket I bought for Willow. There’s flower prints and unicorns, pinks and purples and blues, sparkles and sequins. I couldn’t have picked out a more perfect wardrobe for Willow, and Rory’s only known her for a day.
“Daddy! Look!” She grins at me from beneath a pink hat with furry poof ball ears. My Willow Bear.
“Well, if that isn’t perfect for you, I don’t know what is. Did you thank Rory for picking everything out for you?”
“Thank you, Rory!” She jumps into her arms again and Rory laughs, her turquoise eyes landing on me.
Thank you , I mouth, and she nods, everything in her face softening.
I’ll never be able to thank her enough for being here. It’s only been two days and I feel like I can breathe again—like maybe, just maybe, Willow and I will be okay.