On You 2 (On Everything #7)

Chapter 1

Jasmine

After I called out Hov, Crew walked out of the lobby. The automatic hospital doors slid open and shut behind him, leaving silence over everyone who was left standing there.

Throughout all these years, my brother finding out about me and Hov had been one of my biggest fears. I never truly believed it would happen, especially not in front of everyone.

Hov and I had been reckless over the years, sneaking and fucking when there was a house full of people and meeting up during the day when anyone could’ve saw us.

But, somehow, we were never reckless enough to get caught.

Hov was always adamant about it not being right, yet he was hooked on me for a minute the same way I was hooked on him.

It was funny how life worked, because these days I don't think of him in that way. He was still fine, still a boss ass nigga, but I knew he was taken and wrapped up tighter than a fuckin blunt.

My biggest regret is not speaking up at a better time and keeping our secrets more private. Now Reggie’s family knew, and worst of all, the one man we never wanted to know this secret, Crew. I blame Reggie and his horrible parenting for all of this. I should beat his ass again right in this lobby.

As the doctor stood there looking both impatient and uncomfortable, I felt the need to rush his decision once more. This was urgent, and it was the whole point of me saying something in the first place.

“Hov, are you going to come back here or not?” I asked.

Hov dropped his head for a second before looking back up at me.

“Yeah. I guess so. If I need to. Do I really need to, Jasmine?”

“I don’t know, Hov. I’m just trying to be sure. You all heard what the doctor said, and I want to rule everything out at once. It’s not to start a debate or—”

“Why the fuck is this even a conversation we have to have right now, Jasmine?” Reggie turned his nose up at me. “You haven’t been sure that he’s my kid this entire time and had me raising and loving the little man?”

His eyes glossed over, and for a second, I did feel sorry for him. Reggie was a dumb ass nigga and insufferable at times, but there was no doubt that he loved his son. RJ was probably the only other person he loved more than he loved his fuckin self at times.

I remembered when I first had him, for a few months, I really thought we would be a loving family.

It was his possessive ways and everything else about his personality that he had hidden that made me distance myself from that thought.

He was no longer a husband type, just a typical baby father.

Or at least what I thought a baby father was supposed to be like.

“Reggie, there’s a big chance that he’s yours, but you’re also not the only man I was with around conception. What if your blood or mine doesn’t match, and he dies? I can’t live with that, so I had to put it on the table.”

“Jasmine, was me and this nigga the only people you were with?”

Hov spoke up.

“Yes, I, I’m sure of it. Only you and him,” I replied, thinking back quickly to that year and remembering I was loyal to Reggie until the times when Hov wanted me, and then I went running to him every time.

No matter if I was in bed with Reggie, I would get up and go see Hov. Then, once he got with Cashmier, he became more and more distant, turning me from somebody he needed into somebody he fucked when it was convenient.

Hov turned to Ciara, who was standing behind him. “Mama, I swear I didn’t know about this shit.”

I crossed my arms, getting irritated because here he was again, making sure she was okay during a time when he could be worried about many other things.

I hated to be this way, but fuck how she felt.

My son could die, and he was worried about her feelings right now.

We were before them, so apologies to her shouldn’t have even been a fuckin thing.

“Hov, this is about the baby right now. We can discuss the meaning of all this later. You should just go and do what the doctor needs you to do.”

Hov nodded his head shamefully and then looked back toward me. Thank God she had some sense about the situation because I would’ve hated to go at it with her right now.

Reggie started doing that egotistical ass chuckle that I hated from him.

“Damn, I’m really about to have to get poked for a kid I shouldn’t even give a fuck about saving? That’s crazy. You know how much of a hoe this makes you look like right now, Jasmine?”

With Crew outside, Reggie’s mouth was slick as hell, but before I could force the right words out, Hov took two slow steps toward him and stood right in his face.

“I don’t know if that kid is mine either, and I haven’t heard shit about it being a possibility until today, but I’ll take a needle in my arm if it might save his life.

So, stop acting like a lil bitch in your feelings and come get this shit done.

You’re not the first nigga to take care of a child that could not be yours. That’s just how this fuckin world is.”

Hov glanced back at me before looking at him again.

“And trust me, I’m heated too, but his mother’s lies shouldn’t stop us from being men.”

The disgust written across Hov’s face told me he felt the same way Reggie did about me; he just wasn’t going to say it.

I swallowed hard.

The doctor took an exhausted breath.

“Are we ready?”

“Yes.” Hov answered.

“Through these double doors to my left, please.”

He walked off, leading us toward the back.

I followed behind him while Reggie and Hov walked on opposite sides of me. Neither one of them spoke, but I could feel both of their eyes on me, and somehow that felt worse than them talking shit.

The back rooms were cold and smelled like alcohol wipes and bleach. Once we sat down, the nurse wrapped a tight band around my arm while I stared at the wall, trying not to break down crying yet again. I just kept telling myself to be strong and that I would soon see my baby smile again.

When the needle slid into my skin, I sucked my teeth and turned my head away.

I've always hated the sight of blood, but after seeing how much spilled out of Trey, I hated it even more.

After that, just a scrape on RJ's toe made me squeamish, so knowing that the wound he's suffering from right now was much worse physically made me feel sick.

Once they finished and slapped a cotton ball on my arm with a bandage, I was sent back out into the lobby with crackers and juice in my hand because of the amount of blood they had drawn.

I dropped down into the chair beside my mama, and she opened her arms for me. I leaned into her shoulder and shut my eyes.

“Where's Crew, Mama?” I asked quietly.

“He's still outside,” she replied, rubbing my arm.

“He did not leave though Jassy. He wouldn't do that. He loves you and RJ too much. He's probably just hurt, baby.”

I glanced toward the hospital entrance, and through the glass I could see him standing outside alone with both hands on top of his head. He looked like somebody trying not to lose their fuckin mind, and I knew how hard that was for him.

“Pray, baby. We all have to continue to pray.”

My eyes started burning instantly after that, so I closed them quickly and grabbed my mama's shirt.

I didn't care how old I was. Her comfort and the feeling of her heartbeat against mine made me feel safe.

I knew she was right, and praying would be the only thing that could completely change this situation.

God was in control, and the doctors were just vessels of His power.

God, if You save my baby, I swear I'll get myself together.

And this isn't just one of those prayers that has no meaning behind it.

I mean it, God. I'll move differently, I'll live differently, and I'll stop making selfish decisions.

Just please don't let my son be the price for all my mistakes. Please, God.

I said amen, then kept my eyes closed and my head on her chest because opening them made all of this too real.

She rocked me back and forth, whispering quick prayers under her breath and kissing my forehead as I wept almost in silence. I'm not sure how much time passed before she was shaking me gently.

“Jassy, the doctor is walking up.”

I finally opened my eyes, blinded by the bright lights of the hospital lobby.

I stood up along with everyone else in the room, and then the doctor started to speak.

“There is some good news. There was a blood match, and we were able to perform the transfusion on him right away.”

For a brief moment, I felt relief rise in my chest, hope slipping in where fear had been sitting this whole time.

“But,” he added, quickly taking away that feeling of euphoria I just had.

“Your son slipped into a coma after the transfusion and is now breathing with the help of a ventilator.”

The room went quiet. I'm sure people were talking but I cut off the world the second those words hit me, like my mind refused to process anything other than what he had just said.

The grip I had on my mama tightened for a split second, and then I felt my strength slipping away.

My baby was on a breathing machine? This could not be life right now.

My knees gave out from under me, and the last thing I remembered was the sound of my mama yelling my name before everything around me went completely black.