Chapter 48
forty-eight
A shooting pain streaks down my neck as I turn my head, straining to keep the tiara balanced.
As uncomfortable as I am, I can’t deny, the guys seem enamored with the sight of it on my head. Every time I glance across the smallest of Everdeen’s reception halls, I find one of them staring back at me. Dair with that about-to-take-a-bullet-for-me intensity, Bast with a flirty grin, and Asher with the sort of pride that mists my eyes.
I… love them .
It’s why I have this tiara on. I may not have a speck of certainty about becoming a future queen, bearing royal heirs, or bonding in front of the entire universe… but I love them . How could I see the hope and fear filling each of their beloved faces and say no?
Do I want to say no?
I don’t think I do. Not really. I only doubt if I should be saying yes. If I might somehow fail them.
Truly, I can’t think of anything worse than that—and neither can my Omega.
Queen Selene smiles at me, her expression full of the sort of maternal warmth that still makes my throat sticky. I miss my mother terribly, especially on nights like these, watching Asher’s parents glow with pride over the prince.
And, now, over me too.
“Ivy has done so splendidly!” Selene boasts, grinning at her husband and Jasmine’s father, Shah Ahmad, in turn.
The Shah eyes me shrewdly, his dark eyes so like his daughter’s—lively and mysterious. “Jasmine has told me she makes a lovely princess. So far, I must agree.”
Selene nods soundly, adding her own agreement while King Leopold stares at my profile. His expression is unyielding, but he has the same calculating gaze my prince gets sometimes. When his wife escorts the Shah to a group of new arrivals, the king doesn’t budge.
“That tiara was my mother’s,” he tells me, taking a slow sip from the tumbler in his right hand, flashing a gold ring inlaid with the Everhart’s signature sapphires. “And her grandmother’s before that.”
Oh, figs .
I open my mouth to apologize, but the king suddenly pins his golden gaze on mine. “I’m honored for you to wear it, Ivy.”
I—
He’s—
What?!
King Leopold sighs. For the first time, he doesn’t seem imposing and untouchable—for a moment, he actually looks like a normal man. A tired one.
“I know I was doubtful about all this,” he goes on. “I apologize if I ever made you feel less welcome here. I only… I know better than anyone how hard this job is. And I want my son to have a partner who will make it bearable for him the way my Selene has for me.”
It’s impossible to miss how his eyes soften when he says her name. Another expression he and his son have in common—one the prince reserves for me .
“Over the last month, I’ve seen how hard he’s worked. I thought you might be a distraction, but you’ve only made him more determined than ever to be a good ruler.” The king nearly smiles. “That’s what mates do. They make us better. Braver. Whole.”
Have I, though? Or is that just my incredible alphas coming into their own?
I shake my head, refusing the credit he offers. “No, Your Majesty, they’ve always been amazing men, I just?—”
He raises a brow in another familiar face. “Even Dairragh?”
Well… I wince, remembering his mocking orders and burning glares. “He’s always had so much potential,” I finally manage.
That time, the king actually laughs. “I see my wife’s diplomacy lessons have been put to good use,” he chuckles. “That’s very good. You’ll need that sort of tact around here. Much sooner than you think.”
My mouth moves to fall open, but I pause mid-gape. “S-sooner?”
Despite the layers of polite descenter covering me, Dair still stiffens the second my insides squirm. His dark eyes snap to mine from across the room. I watch him mutter an excuse before he starts clipping his way to me.
Kind Leopold goes on, oblivious. “Well, with the four of you doing so well, I assume you’ll have your bonding ceremony before your first heat or just after it. And once you’re bonded, I don’t see any reason why Asher and his pack can’t take over for me right away. With you by their sides, they’ll make fine kings. And you’ll be queen by the end of the year!”
He pats me on the back, offering another of his stern smiles before walking away. I stand in a daze, blinking at the blank space beside me as I replay his words.
Queen. By the end of the year ?
“Ivy.” Dair’s low voice hums near my left ear. “I swear to God, if the bastard’s insulted you?—”
I shake my head slowly, noting that Bast is also on his way over. He stops to exchange a few words with the king and queen, who both smile and wave him my way. Asher also begins shaking hands with his latest group of admirers, turning toward us.
My blond, gorgeously athletic alpha grins as he approaches, sweeping me off my feet and into a swirl. “Perfect angel,” he praises, blue eyes shining. “Asher’s parents love you. I can’t wait for you to meet my folks, too. They’re abroad for the summer, but they’ll be back before the holidays, and Selene was telling me she wants to do our ceremony before Christmas, so I thought?—”
He cuts himself off when my eyes fill, setting me on my feet and stepping up to block out the rest of the room. “Love? What’s wrong?”
I’m not sure. I only know that my insides are juddering like a washing machine full of rocks. Asher finally reaches my side, his tone low and urgent. “Do you guys feel this?”
Dair nods, scanning the room to make sure no one is watching me tremble in Bast’s arms. “Is it her heat?” he mutters, keeping his face blank.
Asher cups my cheek, hazel eyes examining me behind their tortoiseshell frames. “Do you think this is your heat, darling? You don’t feel very warm, but it could be a spike.”
I open my mouth to tell him that it’s actually, in all likelihood, just a boring old panic attack. Courtesy of the walloping notion of me being a queen within the next few months .
But then I feel it.
The stab between my hips, striking hard and twisting viciously.
No , I tell my Omega. Not now. Please.
Her only reply is a hard nudge that sends me into Asher’s chest. I bury my face against the base of his throat, and he purrs quietly.
“I-I’m sorry,” I mumble. “I’m supposed to be helping , not dragging you away from all of your duties and—” I tuck myself tighter against Asher’s torso. “I don’t want to let you all down.”
“You won’t, goose,” the prince vows, leaning back to capture my face in his palm and staring hard into my eyes. “You aren’t .”
All my anxieties bubble over, boiling the base of my lungs until I feel like they’re melting and I’ll never be able to inhale again. And the horrible question I’ve been thinking for weeks —my biggest fear and greatest suspicion in one—finally scrapes up my throat.
“What if I can’t do this, Ash?” I whisper, “What if I’m not supposed to be a queen?”