Chapter 17
The heat was stifling, here in the grounds of Sofia and Thanasis’s home where there wasn’t even any shade amid the olive trees. Cara took a long, slow breath and held it tight inside as she found something else to focus on. She strode on. This area of the garden didn’t look as tightly managed as the area of patio where the cake and wine tasting was taking place. Here, nature was the CEO and the branches of the trees didn’t look curated, instead growing out at all angles, wildflowers scattered at the foot of their trunks. The cicadas were loud, like an almost comforting white noise, but with each tree Cara got close to, the chirping would get quieter, then if she touched her fingers to the bark, it would stop completely. Could they see her? Sense her? Did they know how terrified she currently was?
‘Like magic, isn’t it?’
Cara jumped at the sound of the voice, exhaled loudly and drew her hand away from the tree. It was Akis. Again.
‘Are you following me?’ she asked him.
‘Always? Or on this occasion?’
‘Maybe an answer for both?’
‘Always. No. Right now, totally yes.’ He smiled. ‘I thought you could use a friend.’
‘I’m fine.’ She wasn’t. Her chest hurt, as though something heavy was pressing down on it.
‘I think not. You performed a manoeuvre I have performed many times over. Exiting the formal outside dining space, jumping over the wall into this wilder space.’
‘I didn’t jump over the wall. I went down the path.’
‘Crazy,’ Akis said, shaking his head. ‘Jumping over is much quicker.’
She didn’t know what to say.
‘Listen, Cara, my mother, she can get – what is the word? – too enthusiastic and it can become overwhelming. I get it.’
‘Well, she’s organising a wedding. I believe that’s meant to be more stressful than moving house or childbirth.’
‘I do not know of childbirth but moving house… it is OK as long as you do not have too many things. Like a piano.’ He took hold of her hand then and placed it back on the tree trunk. He rested his hand on hers, pressing it gently in place. ‘Let us keep still and focus.’
‘Is this a game?’
‘Ssh.’
It was hard to keep still and focussed when her hand was being held to the bark by a guy with eyes that could win a beautiful eye contest, whose touch was currently making her insides prickle with heat. And she didn’t know what she was being still or focussed for. The cicadas on this tree were silent now as if, in a tribute to her, they were holding their breath.
‘Do you feel it?’ Akis whispered.
‘I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be?—’
‘Look,’ Akis whispered again. ‘There it is. Hiding in that hole in the trunk.’
He motioned with his head to a hollow in the tree and all Cara could see at first was darkness, a small net of cobwebs covering over it like a veil. But then something popped up its head. Large round-tipped ears, big beady eyes and a small pointy face.
‘It’s a mouse,’ Cara exclaimed quietly.
‘It makes a perfect house, no? Quiet, calm, insulated, no one around.’
It did sound perfect. A haven. No one knew you were there, but you were safe, invisible, going about your life your way without any preconceptions, without anyone interfering. Except she had given Margot free rein on interfering when she’d given up being able to make her own decisions. She wished she was stronger.
‘But it’s small,’ Cara answered him. ‘Where would you put your piano?’
He smiled. ‘That is a very good point.’
It was then Cara really realised that even though she was looking into the eyes of a mouse, she was a tiny bit calmer…
‘You cannot be a mouse though,’ he continued. ‘Or, rather, you cannot be what people perceive a mouse to be.’
‘Cute and furry? Likes cheese? I feel a little called out.’
‘I simply meant, unlike the small seeds when it comes to decisions, you should want your life to be the opposite. Big! Huge! Like as big as the Earth.’
He had raised his voice and the mouse ducked down and disappeared back into the hole out of sight.
‘I heard this saying once. It was, “Life isn’t short, it is wide.” It stuck with me because, well, we all worry about making our lives as long as possible. We want to live until we are over one hundred years old, yet even if we all did live that long, think of the time that would get wasted. Is it not better to know that however long we have, we have the opportunity to make it as wide and as full as we can?’
Cara turned her attention away from the mousehole and looked at Akis. Who was this guy with these life philosophies and the most amazing eyes? It was only then she realised he still had his hand over hers.
As if he had just realised it too, he broke the connection and put both his hands into the pockets of his jeans.
‘So, do you want to talk about it?’ he asked, scuffing the dry grass with his trainers.
‘Talk about what?’
‘Well, I’m guessing you didn’t have any idea that you had been booked to sing at the wedding.’
Cara sighed, bubbles of nervousness peppering her insides again. ‘No.’
‘So, do you want to talk about it?’
She shook her head.
‘Well, I might have something to change your mind. Something I do not like talking about but would be willing to share with you if you want to trade?’
Was she intrigued enough to ask? Could she really tell him anything about singing? She didn’t know.
‘Come on,’ he said, a cajoling energy to his tone. ‘I promise what I am going to tell you will be worth the exchange.’
‘You play piano, you dance for money, you love seafood. I’m wondering what else you can fit in.’
‘I told you,’ he said, grinning. ‘Life is wide.’
She shook her head, smiling. ‘OK, you can tell me. But I only promise to tell you something if I think what you’ve told me warrants it. If it’s good enough.’
‘You are going to judge it? Maybe give it points?’
‘Well, I didn’t mean it quite like that.’ And now she felt bad.
He smiled. ‘It is OK. I am confident it will score high.’
She watched him take a deep breath and, for the first time, she noticed a change in his demeanour, a kind of nervousness invade his shoulders.
‘OK, so, are you ready?’ He paused before carrying on. ‘So, according to the tradition of my family, I am expected to join the church by becoming a Greek Orthodox priest before I am thirty years old.’
This wasn’t real. It couldn’t be. And he had form for pretending he was a priest – taking her confession, dancing dressed as one. She wasn’t going to be falling for this.
‘Well,’ she said. ‘That would score good points if it was actually true, but when we met you were pretending to be a priest so?—’
He sighed. ‘If the first-born son of a Diakos does not become a priest before he is thirty, the legend is that something terrible will happen to the whole family. Death. Destruction. Famine. Poverty. Or things that could be worse than that. My mother, she would have me ordained today if she could, because she thinks my not being part of the clergy will curse the wedding and cause Wren and Cosmos the inability to have children. And, believe me, neither Wren nor Cosmos are characters to feed that kind of worrying information to. So, what do I do? Do I believe these stories from the past? Let them and other people decide what my life is, to protect the people I love or, do I not?’
His tone was deadly serious and Cara could see it in his eyes. This was something he was really, really battling with. This wasn’t a story, this was his truth. There was only one question she needed to ask first.
‘Akis?’
‘Yeah.’
‘How old are you?’
He looked straight at her and paused for just a second before he gave a knowing nod. ‘I’m twenty-nine.’