One More Weekend (Sapphics in the City #5)

17. Sy

17

SY

As we passed the rock garden, I felt like maybe we’d finally gotten over the strange vibe from the weekend – replaced by the fresh air of the park.

We’d already walked for two hours, pausing in every section to smell the flowers while I talked Jenna’s ear off. Ever patient, she listened to my diatribes about each garden with the attentiveness of a saint.

And now, we rounded the corner of the Bluebell Woods.

I watched Jenna look up into the canopy, the towering, ancient trees drawing her blue eyes up. “So, I know we talk about your job hunt a lot. But like, how are you feeling about the Clay breakup?”

A part of me didn’t want to touch the topic, especially now. But she was best friend and heartbreak – even if the girlfriend was a fucking dick – sucked.

Jenna groaned as she crossed her arms. “I mean it sucks. But Clay wasn’t going to be my person, we all knew that. I just feel embarrassed more than anything.”

“Yeah, I get that.” Nodding, I twiddled my fingers at my side. It was obvious that she wasn’t ready to date again, not after spending all of Friday night at my side instead of looking for a hookup.

Jenna was never one for hookups though, always looking for something more serious no matter how hard she tried to have her “ho era.” Meanwhile, it was almost impossible for me to commit to someone.

Hell, my friendship with Jen was the most commitment I’d had in my entire life.

After a second, she shrugged. “It just feels pointless.”

“Jen, we’ve talked about this. You’re totally lovable.”

She rolled her eyes. “Not that. Just dating. I haven’t gotten a job yet and if I won’t be here anyway, even hookups feel like a waste of time.”

My chest tightened at the reminder. It was easy to convince myself that all of this, these elaborate dates and our more frequent outings, were just convenient benefits of having Jenna home more. But I’d started them to get her to fall back in love with this city, hoping – no, praying – that she’d stay just a little longer.

And the longer I kept it out, it felt like it was having the opposite effect. Every trip felt like a nail driven into the coffin and I was holding the hammer.

We broke through the woods into the rose arch, a small, circular section with a path through the middle. Each bramble had a flower blooming at the top.

The smell of roses was unavoidable, drifting into the sections surrounding it.

“Right. Yeah. That makes sense.” I finally managed, trying my best to be neutral.

Biting her lip, Jenna turned to look at me. “Do you think it’s crazy to leave?” From the look on her face, I could tell she’d been desperate to ask me.

I took a deep breath, knowing as her friend that I owed her the truth. “It’s not crazy. It’s an expensive city and you’ve been short on luck. Do I think it’s jumping the gun a little? Maybe. But it’s your life and your finances. If it makes you nervous to sign another lease without a job, who am I to argue with that?”

Laughing, I shrugged as we walked ourselves out of the Rose Arch. “I mean, fuck, you’ll probably be in less debt than I will be so don’t listen to my financial takes.”

It’s not like I’d had the best models of financial success. My dad was a deadbeat, barely able to hold a job. And as a single parent, my mom could never get ahead. She did her best but there were hard times.

“I just wish I could be more comfortable with not knowing what’s next.” Jen gestured toward me, knowing I’d grown up with more instability. Of course it was hard but I was far more prepared to have a creative job where money wasn’t always consistent.

Nodding, I wrapped my arm around her shoulder. “It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.”

Jenna took a break from the conversation to look around the Cherry Esplanade in front of us, pink petals from the blooms still lingering around the grass at their roots.

“I bet this looked amazing last month.” Her eyes flicked from tree to tree, her mind able to envision the glorious flowers at the tops of each cherry blossom that followed perfect lines down the long corridor.

The reality of Jen leaving was starting to set in, these dates becoming more and more of a goodbye to this city.

If I wanted to voice my opinion, the window was quickly closing.

I leaned closer to her and whispered, “If you’re still here next year, I’ll bring you back to see them.”

With a laugh, Jenna smiled at me. “Then we’ll definitely have to come on a free day because I might still be broke.”