One More Weekend (Sapphics in the City #5)

37. Sy

37

SY

I fought back sleep with everything I had, refusing to let the night end.

Because if I lost and let the weight of sleep take over, I would wake up in the morning to our last Sunday in this apartment. And I’d have to go to work, stacking an apartment showing after my shift.

Jenna would pack boxes and I’d come home to missing spatulas and torn-down posters.

If I just kept my eyes open, it wouldn’t happen.

But eventually, sleep took hold. And I wasn’t strong enough to fight it.

When my eyes flitted open, the sun was peeking through Jenna’s window. I slipped out of her grasp and headed to the kitchen. I hated that I had to work on our last weekend day together.

I needed the money too badly to skip out on any shifts; I’d be kicked out of here in a matter of days and then I’d have to figure out a new place to live.

In the kitchen, I got to work on breakfast – making sure there was enough for Jenna too.

It wasn’t long before I heard the soft padding of her feet on the hardwood. When I turned on my heels, she leaned against the wall with her hands tucked behind her back.

“Hi.”

I smiled at her. “Hey.”

Walking closer, she pulled me in for a hug. The feeling of her arms around me made me melt, wanting to stay there forever.

“We should stop, for both of our sake. Right?” Was all I could manage as I held her.

She nodded into my chest. “Yeah. A lot will change but I need your friendship to get through it.”

Swallowing hard, I pulled back enough to see her face. “Me too.” I brought my finger to her cheeks where a tear fell from her tired eyes. Tears welled in my own eyes as I watched her.

In a low voice, Jenna looked up at me. “Can I just kiss you one more time?” The crying made her eyes somehow more crystal blue than I’d ever seen.

Gently, I put my hands on her neck and nodded slowly. “Please.”

Our lips hovered just an inch apart as our breathing escalated in each other’s grasp. And then I pulled her lips into mine one last time, holding myself in that moment for as long as I could.

My breathing hitched in my chest as I clenched my eyes closed, trying to remember every detail of this.

Forcing myself away, I took a step back. “You know I adore you, right?”

“I know,” Jenna wiped her eyes with the long sleeves of my hoodie. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” I squeezed her hand and packed up breakfast for myself, leaving her a neat burrito – filled with eggs, spinach, and peppers – on a plate.

Packing my bag for the day, I said goodbye to Jenna and headed out the front door. I stood on the landing at the top of the stairs, trying to will myself to walk down them.

The time on my phone was enough to force me to move. I couldn’t be late, no matter how badly I wanted to turn around and curl up in bed with Jenna and hide from it all.

Time was melding together. I hardly remembered the walk to work, or the first half of my shift at the coffee shop. I’d confirmed an apartment to see after work, trying to stack in as much apartment hunting as I could in these last few days.

I didn’t come to until Angel’s familiar voice sounded from the register. “Sy, what’s up, bro?”

“Hey.” I cleared my throat, hoping I could sound more okay than I was. “What can I get for you?”

Angel raised an eyebrow and scoffed. “A better attitude for one. What’s going on?”

Shrugging, I took her order and then got to talking. “Jenna’s actually moving. Like at the end of the week.”

“Well, fuck. Did you tell her how you felt?” Angel leaned on the counter, sipping the hot coffee.

“I mean we’ve been seeing each other for a few weeks. But we called it off this morning, it’s going to hurt too much to lose the friendship and the relationship.” Resting my elbows on the counter, I avoided looking into her eyes.

“That blows.”

“Yep.” I grabbed the cleaning rag from the counter and gave it a half-hearted wipe.

Angel pursed her lips while she watched me.

“What?” I knew pushing was a risk, but I wanted her thoughts.

With a shrug, Angel raised her hands in surrender. “Well, what if you don’t lose either? Maybe you need to fight harder. Feels like she’s getting away with ditching this.”

It was a harsher read than I had. But it was how I felt deep down, a part of my chest burning at the feeling being recognized.

Angel left soon after, leaving the thought in my hands.

I knew I would always show up to fight for my friendship. But maybe I hadn’t ever fought hard enough for a romantic relationship. Maybe it was time to try.