Chapter 6
Chapter Six
Deanna
I haven’t been bold in a very long time. Living the way I did with Kyle? All I wanted was to avoid being noticed. The more I was able to disappear, the better. But there’s this funny thing that happens when you start to heal your mind. Your body gets better too. I haven’t wanted a man to touch me. Not for a very long time. But Luke is different from anyone I’ve ever met.
Listening to him talk about his childhood, it should have been a red flag. Don’t they always say that most abusers start out as the abused? But I have to believe it’s possible to see that shit growing up and not repeat the cycle. For Malcolm. For Addie. But I’m not kissing him for that reason.
I’m kissing him because all night long I’ve sat at this table, watching his lips move. Watching him take a bite. Watching him talk. Watching that slow smile spread across his face. And all I could think about was what it would feel like to have his mouth on mine. I want to feel desired, to feel like I’m whole in a way I haven’t since the first time Kyle laid his hands on me.
Luke brings his hand up, cupping my face—his touch so gentle. Not hesitant, but like he’s letting me lead. One hundred and ten percent.
Easing back, I smile at him. “I haven’t done that in a really long time.”
He smiles. “We can get out of here… go for a drive. And then I can do that again. Some place not in public. Some place where neither of us has to worry about who might be watching.”
I can’t even verbalize an answer, so I just nod. Before I can reach for my purse, he’s already tossed cash on the table. “I can pay my own way,” I protest.
He just looks at me. “I’m not paying because you can’t. I paid because this is a date and that’s what a man does.”
I get up from the booth and he helps me slide my jacket on. This is all so new. So different from anything I have ever experienced. Even when Kyle and I first dated, he never treated me like this.
We’re walking past the hostess stand, heading toward the parking lot, when the evening hits a sour note. Joe Stevens walks through the door. He and Luke make eye contact and both of them bristle. You can feel the tension—like dogs ready to attack one another.
Then Joe’s gaze slides over to me and his lips curl in a sneer. “Now you’re a goddamn narc, Deanna? Or has your shit of a kid got himself into trouble you’ve got to fuck him out of?”
I grab hold of Luke’s arm. “Don’t. He’s only trying to provoke you to do something that will ultimately benefit him.” It’s true. Kyle is violent and vicious, but it’s not typically premeditated. He doesn’t sit and think about ways to torment people. Joe, on the other hand, is evil all the way down to the bone.
Luke looks at him, his gaze hard and angry enough that it gives me pause. But when he speaks, Luke’s answer is controlled. “Harassment and stalking are nasty charges… especially when you’re already under investigation for a dozen other things.”
“Stalking?”
“Yeah,” Luke says. “Or are we just supposed to believe you rolled in here by accident at the exact time we were walking out? You think the judge is going to believe that Kyle didn’t put you up to this? That’s a good way to kiss bye-bye to probation and parole. Keep it up, Joe. I goddamn dare you.”
Joe glares at us both for a second, then just turns on his heel and leaves. But Luke doesn’t. Not immediately. We hang back inside while he watches the parking lot to make sure Joe actually leaves before he opens the door for me.
___
We’re in Luke’s truck. And all that boldness I felt before, all the curiosity and the hopefulness and—I freely admit—the horniness, have kind of faded. All that I’m left with is the ugly reminder that Bellehaven is not a town where you get to start a new life. Every day, I’ll see reminders or run into people who won’t let me forget.
“I should have taken you to Lexington,” he says.
I shake my head. “No. This was good. This was really good. And I’m not gonna let that asshole ruin it for me,” I say, feeling determined. I have the right to have a life that I can enjoy, that I can call my own. “I hope it wasn’t too awkward for you.”
“Awkward? Naw. It wasn’t awkward. But I wanted to knock him on his ass so bad I can’t stand it.”
I shake my head. “No. If that had been Kyle… fine, knock him on his ass. I’ll cheer. But Joe is different. Kyle is a shitty human being with a bad temper, but Joe… if the devil walks this earth, I’m convinced it’s Joe Stevens. Don’t mess with him any more than you have to. Especially not over me.”
He looks at me, shaking his head. “Not over you? Haven’t you figured it out yet, Dee?”
“Figured what out?”
“You’re the best reason for anything I do.”
He eases the seat back and holds his hand out to me. I take it and let him pull me over the console until I’m sitting in his lap. My hip bumps the steering wheel and the horn gives a little beep, which has me giggling. I’ve not done that in a very long time.
“You make me feel like a teenager all over again,” I whisper. “You make me feel like it’s okay to hope for things. Like maybe not everything in this world is bad.”
He cups my face with both hands, his thumbs gently stroking over my cheekbones. Then his mouth is on mine. This isn’t a sweet goodnight kiss. It isn’t that careful first kiss that we shared in the restaurant. This is like wildfire, sending heat shooting through me. My heart is racing as I shift myself around, straddling his hard thighs. We’re face to face, our lips seeking one another’s over and over again. But this way, I can touch him. I can run my hands over the hard wall of his chest. And I can feel the hard ridge of his cock pressed against my thigh. If I’d questioned whether or not he wanted me, I have all the proof I need right now.
He scoots down in the seat, shifting me just a little higher. And when I settle against him once more, I can feel him. The only thing keeping him from being inside me are the layers of clothes between us. I move my hips, grinding my body against his until I find the right angle, the right rhythm.
“Fuck, Dee,” he breathes, the words hissing out between his teeth.
“Not yet,” I whisper. “I’m not ready for that. But there’s no reason we can’t make each other feel good, is there?”
His hands settle on my hips, guiding me as he thrusts upward, increasing the friction between us. “Not a goddamn one.”