17. Tara
17
TARA
I’m standing on the lawn of the resort waiting for Lexi to pull in. It’s brisk, and I should be wearing more than a T-shirt and shorts, but I was trying to get out of the hotel room unnoticed and grabbed the first thing I saw.
“There you are. I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”
I don’t even turn when I hear Grant’s voice. He stops next to me. “Tara, baby.”
I hold a hand up, still not looking at him. “Don’t call me that.”
He blows out a breath and kicks his foot in the gravel. “Look, I messed up. I shouldn’t have cheated on you.”
I finally look at him. “Oh, is this an apology?”
“No. I mean yes, I’m sorry, but it’s not my fault.”
I laugh, and it sounds maniacal even to me. “Right, so she fell on your dick. I get it.”
He stomps his foot. “Listen to me. Your sister flirted with me. She’s the one that wanted to have sex.”
I roll my eyes. I’m not surprised. Any time I’ve had a boyfriend, Brynn has flirted with them. Grant is not the first ex-boyfriend to have sex with my sister. “Whatever, Grant. You could have said no. But whatever, it’s done, and now you’re getting married.”
“No, listen to me. She said she was pregnant?—”
I interrupt him, my hand going to my chest. “My sister’s pregnant?”
“No. She lied. I wasn’t going to leave you. She concocted it all. She made it so you’d catch us, and when I told her I didn’t want her, she said she was pregnant. I found out last week it was a lie.”
I laugh because what else can I do? Finding out how badly my sister wanted to hurt me is too much to deal with right now. “Look, none of this matters to me. I don’t want to be with you. We are over. You and my sister can do whatever you want to do, but I’m not going to be a part of any of it.”
“Tara,” he starts, but I turn to him with so much anger. “Look, I’m over you. I don’t care what you do but whatever it is, do it away from me. Now leave me alone.”
He doesn’t budge.
“Go, Grant. I’m done with this conversation.”
Finally, he walks away, and I take three deep breaths to try and get my nerves under control.
I try to think about anything but him, and of course my thoughts go to last night with Cruz.
Finally, Lexi pulls in. I’m waiting for her usual “Hey, bitch” or some other form of hello, but she already has pity on her face. “How’s it going? Have you killed Grant or your sister yet?”
“It’s fine,” I tell her in a shrill voice.
I avoid her gaze and move to the back of the van to help her unload the flowers. I get the doors open, and Lexi stops right next to me. “Hey.”
I avoid her gaze, acting like I’m assessing the arrangements. “Yeah?”
She moves closer. “Look at me.”
I clench my eyes shut. There’s no hiding the look of guilt on my face. How am I supposed to tell her I had sex with her brother? I open my eyes and try to clear the expression. “What?” I ask defensively.
Her eyebrows shoot up. “Whoa… what happened to you?”
I wave her off. “What? My ex-boyfriend is marrying my sister. I have the right to look like this.”
Her forehead creases, and she grabs my arm, turning me so she’s looking straight at me. She starts to shake her head and waves her finger around my face. “No, that’s not that look. What happened last night?”
I start to choke. On air, my own saliva, I’m not sure, but I know I’m caught. She stomps her foot and gets a big smile on her face. “What did you do?”
“Nothing. I didn’t do anything.”
I reach into the van and grab my sister’s bouquet. She wanted one with a long tail to it, and we’re going to have to make trips to get them all in. I hold the huge bouquet in my arms, and Lexi is still staring at me. She blocks my path. “What happened with you and my brother?”
I can feel the blood drain from my face. I feel hot all over, but I can’t lie to her. I can’t tell her nothing happened because last night was probably the best night of my life. I try to shake her off. “I don’t know what you mean.”
As soon as I side step her, she does the same. She has a huge smile on her face. “Tara Brooks, I’m your best friend, and I know something is up.” She gasps. “Oh my God, did you and my brother…”
Her voice trails off, and I juggle the stupidly enormous arrangement in one arm as I grab her with my free hand. “Lexi, shush. Everyone doesn’t need to know?—”
“Know what? That you did the deed? Hooked up? Smashed?”
“Lexi, stop, this is your brother that you’re talking about.”
She laughs, unfazed, and points at my scarlet face. “So you admit it, you were with my brother.”
I clench my eyes again. I know it will be better if I just come clean and we move past it. “Yes, I slept with your brother. Yes, it was amazing, I’ll go as far as to say life-changing.” I can’t stop the smile from forming on my face as I think about last night. It wasn’t just the sex. It was the best, but also the way he took care of me, the way we talked… it was so much more. “But that’s all it was. One night. Now it’s over, and it’s time to move on.”
She rolls her eyes. “And Cruz is okay with that. One night of sex?”
I release her and hold the heavy bouquet with both arms. “Look, yes, that was the agreement. We’re both okay with it. We talked about it before we did anything. Now are you here to help me or not?”
She grabs one of the bridesmaid bouquets from the van. “Okay, I’ll stay out of it, but I should tell you. I know you and I know my brother, and neither one of you are one-night stand kind of people.”
I just stare at her. It’s true about me. I’ve never had a one-night stand before, and when I think about last night, it didn’t feel like I would think a one-night stand would feel. “Regardless, that’s what it was.”
She opens her mouth and then slams it shut. She gestures to the sidewalk. “Go ahead, I’ll follow your lead.”
I turn on my heel and lead us up to the side entrance. Once inside, we walk side by side. It’s still early, and I haven’t seen any of my family, which is good because I’m not ready to face any of them. I’m not ready to deal with the way they treat me. I tell Lexi about last night, and I’m about to tell her about Cruz’s book deal but then keep it to myself. He should be the one to tell her.
“The bride's dressing room is through here.”
We walk through where the wedding is taking place, and Lexi stops. “Tara, this is beautiful.”
I take in the arrangements of flowers, the chair decorations, and the special archway. It’s everything my sister asked for, and even though it’s not my taste, I still take great pride in it. “Thanks. It turned out way better than I thought.”
We’re walking down the hallway toward the dressing rooms when I see Ben striding toward us. I have to move the flowers I’m holding to the side. “Hey, Ben.”
He’s looking past me. “Hey, Tara.” His voice drops a whole octave. “Lexi.”
Lexi stops midstride behind me, and I stop at the door to the dressing room. Looking at her, I see that her face is red. “Ben,” she mutters.
She avoids looking at him and rushes past me inside the room to lay down the flowers she’s holding. I put down the bouquet I have and act like I’m fixing a few flowers as Ben moves into the room. “Lexi, can we talk?”
She walks past him. “We have nothing to talk about.”
Stunned, I look at Ben. Was Cruz right? Did Ben break Lexi’s heart? I look at Ben as I walk past him, and there is sadness on his face that he hides quickly. I have to jog to catch up to Lexi. “What was that?”
She picks up her pace, and so do I. “Oh hell no, what was that?”
She shrugs. “We had a thing. It’s over.”
I pull her to a stop. “What do you mean you had a thing? Why is this the first I’m hearing of it?”
She crosses her arms over her chest. “Look, it wasn’t a big deal. It was when you and Grant were together, but it was nothing.”
“Lexi—” I start, but she holds up her hand to stop me.
“Please, Tara, let’s unload the flowers so I can get out of here. I didn’t know he’d be here.”
Thinking back to last night, I murmur my thoughts out loud. “I think he’s here because of you. He said last night his family didn’t want him here. He asked about you.”
She shakes her head like she’s trying to tune out everything I’m saying. “It doesn’t matter. Can we unload the van so I can go?”
I grab her hand. “Lexi, I’m sorry. I had no idea… you didn’t tell me.”
I know it sounds accusatory, and I try to soften it. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
She shakes her head again. “You were dealing with Grant and your sister. You didn’t need to deal with my shit too.”
“Lexi… come on. I could have… I should have been there for you.”
A blank look comes over her, and I know she’s got her emotions on lock down. “It was nothing. I’m fine.”
She’s not going to spill. I know that much about her. I release my hold on her. “Fine. Come on, I’ll grab the last of it and put it on the cart. You don’t even have to go back in. But when I get home, we’re going to talk about this.”
She almost looks relieved as she nods her head and leads me to the van. She helps me load everything on the cart, and even though she offers to help me, I refuse it. I can figure out how to get this all inside. She’s obviously hurting, and I’m not going to cause her to deal with any more than she’s already dealing with.
I hug her bye and thank her for taking care of the store. Fuck, I owe her so much. I had to bring in her and five other people to man the store today, and I silently curse my sister again for planning her wedding on my busiest day of the year.
“I love you,” I tell Lexi through the window.
She smiles, but it’s not as bright as it was before. “I love you too. Take care of you, friend.”
She drives off, and then I struggle to take the cart inside. Ben meets me at the door and helps. I huff as I get it over the threshold. “You going to tell me what that is about?”
“Where did she go? I’ve given her space, but I’m done with that.”
Shocked, I look at him. “She’s working the shop today since I had to be here.”
“Fuck.” He groans and runs his hand through his hair.
“Morning. I missed you this morning.” I feel Cruz’s arms around me, and then he’s kissing the side of my neck. I tense automatically, and he turns me to look at him. “Hey.”
I force a smile I’m not feeling. My hair is in a wild bun on the top of my head. I have on jean shorts and a T-shirt, and besides brushing my teeth this morning, I probably still have last night's mascara smeared under my eyes. “Hey. Can you help me get these to the dressing room?”
He looks between Ben and me and then releases me. “Sure.”
Ben strides down the hallway without a backwards glance. It kills me not to know what is going on with my best friend, and as soon as I get out of here, I’m going to find out.
Cruz starts pushing the cart on his own, and I catch up with him, leading him to the dressing room. As soon as we enter, Brynn and her friends look at me, and Brynn starts in. “Where have you been? There’s so much to do and you’re late. Tara, why do you look like that? You do know the wedding is in two hours.”
I grit my teeth and remind myself this is her wedding. “I know, Brynn. I have all the arrangements and the boutonnieres right here. Everything is taken care of.”
She rolls her eyes and spits out a laugh. “Right, don’t act like you have it all together. We all know you’re a mess.”
“Excuse me,” Cruz starts, but I put my hand up to his chest to stop him. “No, let her finish.”
She lifts her chin. “We all knew you would try to ruin my wedding day. You’re so jealous that of course you couldn’t just be happy for me.”
I’ve had enough and hold my head up high. “I did all the decorations for this wedding as a gift to you. It cost me a small fortune, but I did it. I’ve tried to be your friend, Brynn, but I’m now finding out that will never be possible. Grant was my boyfriend. You had sex with him, you lied and told him you were pregnant when he said he didn’t want you, and you made sure I caught you having sex with him. If anything, I think you’re jealous of me.”
Brynn’s face is bright red, but she tries to play it off and scoffs. “Right. Like I’d be jealous of you.”
Defeated, I shrug. “I hope you have a good wedding. A good marriage. You and Grant deserve each other. Now I’m leaving. You have your wish. You don’t have to worry about me ruining your wedding, your pictures, your flowers, or anything else. Goodbye, Brynn.”
I turn on my heel, and the tears don’t start until I’m at the stairwell. I’ve left my cart behind, but I don’t care at this point. I’ll just have to buy another one.
I’m halfway up the stairs when Cruz catches up to me and stops me. “Tara, wait, honey.”
He pulls me toward him, but I struggle out of his arms. “Stop, Cruz. I can’t do this right now.”
“I just want to be here for you. Let me hold you.”
I hold my hand up. “Cruz, look at me. I’m a mess.”
He shakes his head. “You’re not.”
I laugh bitterly. “I am. My own family hates me.” I suck in a breath, but it feels as if I can’t get any oxygen into my lungs. “Look, I’m sorry I got you mixed into all this. This was supposed to be easy. One night, fake date. That was it, and now it’s over.”
“It’s not—” He starts, but I can’t stand here and listen to him while he looks at me with pity on his face. “Look, I’m going to grab my stuff and get out of your hair. You’re off the hook. I’m not going to the wedding… so you can go home.”
“Tara, please.” He pleads with me, but I’m already backing away from him. “Cruz, please, this is embarrassing enough. Thank you for everything. Really.” I suck in another breath, hoping that I’m not about to have a panic attack. “Last night…” I put a hand to my chest over my racing heart. “Last night was perfect and everything... Thank you for that. I’ll never forget it.”
I turn on my heel, running up the next two flights of stairs. I get to the room and grab my clothes, leaving my bridesmaid dress in the closet as I stuff everything into my suitcase. I haphazardly throw all the toiletries into the same bag and then I walk out of the hotel room, down the hall, and to the elevators.
I’m making the right decision. Walking away from this wedding and how my family treats me is the best thing for me. And it’s better to walk away from Cruz now. It already hurts, so there’s no sense in dragging it on.
No, I can pick up the pieces and move on, and I’m going to do just that after this Valentine’s Day is over.