One Scottish Summer

Chapter 1

Home is where the heart is, isn’t that the saying? I’ve never had a home, not in the way Logan has on Mull with his aunt Joy, even if he’s never lived here permanently. Then again, I’ve never been in love either.

Extract from Tilly’s journal

Even in mid-summer, Tilly Fernsby found it hard to believe that she was in Scotland.

She stood with her hands on her hips and gazed across the pearl-white sand to the turquoise sea.

The Isle of Mull had stolen her heart, even more so than the handsome Scot who was striding barefoot into the water with his jeans rolled up.

Despite it being August, Langamull Beach was deserted.

Her summer fling, Cal Garvie, had picked her up early, as soon as he’d finished the morning jobs on his family’s farm.

The first half of the thirty-minute hike along a rough stone track through a barren landscape had been uninspiring and left Tilly questioning where on earth Cal was taking her.

Yet, the further they’d walked, the more appealing the surroundings had become.

They eventually took a grassy track past grazing sheep and wind-blasted trees and glimpsed a smudge of white sand.

Even so, if it hadn’t have been for Cal’s insistence, Tilly would have turned back.

The effort had been worth it though, to reach the pristine beach.

With the tide coming in, they had a cove to themselves, which was edged by coal-black rocks.

Tilly sat on one that was dotted with tiny grey barnacles and tugged off her walking boots.

She peeled off her socks, sighing with relief as she dug her toes into the cool sand.

Unlike Cal, she’d sensibly worn shorts, and the rock was warm against her bare thighs.

She watched him wading out, the water lapping at his jeans.

Away from the farm, he looked relaxed and sexy with it, his broad shoulders pushed back as he tilted his head to the sun.

Tilly rested her hands on the rough rock and relished the warmth.

It wasn’t often she was able to do nothing; even on Mull she’d been hard at work for much of the summer, but she thrived on keeping busy, which was why days like this were special.

To have the freedom of being outside somewhere beautiful with the time to think and reflect, plan and dream.

With only the sound of the bubbling surf and an occasional baa from a distant sheep, she soaked up the peace and wondered if Logan had ever been here.

Despite her earlier reservations on the walk, she wished they’d come here together, but while romance had blossomed for Tilly with farmer Cal, her best friend Logan had been getting up close and personal with barmaid Rosie. A farmer and a barmaid.

Tilly smiled. Having recently graduated from the University of Edinburgh – Tilly with a degree in Interior Design and Logan in Illustration – they had the ambition to pursue creative careers and were the opposite of their summer flings.

To start her own interior design business was Tilly’s dream, while Logan was still figuring out the direction he wanted to go.

The end of their education was the end of an era.

Life would be different when they returned to Edinburgh in a couple of weeks.

‘Come join me!’ Cal’s deep voice and seductive Scottish accent carried towards her.

She pushed her sunglasses into her hair and squinted. He’d waded to where the turquoise water turned a cool dark blue and was facing her with his arms spread wide.

Propping her bag next to her walking boots and socks, she slid off the rock and paced down the beach, leaving footprints in the compact sand.

A breeze tempered the heat, and shells and fronds of seaweed were caught in the surf that bubbled onto the beach.

Tiny sand eels darted about in the shallows, and the water was refreshingly icy, splashing her bare legs and soothing her hot achy feet as she waded further out.

Cal caught her hand in his; it was warm and calloused from the physical work on the farm.

He was stocky but tall, with coppery-blonde hair and freckled cheeks, which were a stark contrast to her own chocolate locks and lightly tanned skin.

He always looked as if he was blushing because of his ruddy complexion from his days spent outdoors whatever the weather.

Their summer romance had revolved around drinks in the pub and stolen kisses in the cowshed.

Actually, they’d done a lot more than kiss on scratchy bales of hay.

It had been a smoking hot summer in every way, but it would soon be coming to an end.

It wasn’t only Cal who she’d miss. She and Logan had been staying with his aunt Joy at her house by Loch Na Keal, where Tilly had put her interior design skills to good use, renovating two spare bedrooms for Joy to let as guest rooms, so she could run a B&B alongside the cottage she already rented out.

Although Tilly and Logan lived together in a shared student house, it had been refreshing to have his company in a place he loved, while she adored spending time with him.

She always had done. This summer had been special, sandwiched between graduating and real life, but the weeks had flown by and their post-university life was calling.

Cal slid his arms around her and she echoed his stance, clasping his muscled waist as they stood together in the cold water, surrounded by nothing but the sea, rocks and grassy hills. The sky was peppered with white clouds and there wasn’t another person in sight.

‘I, um, wanted to ask you something.’ His eyes flicked away from hers and his cheeks flushed an even deeper red. ‘I know you have to leave and you’re off travelling, but what if you came back here and lived with me afterwards?’

Tilly laughed, but it soon petered out when she registered how intently he was looking at her, his brows furrowed with hurt. His hands tensed on her hips.

‘Oh.’ She faltered as a wave of worry rolled through her stomach. ‘You’re serious?’

A grunted agreement caught in his throat as he studied her with tight lips.

‘But what do you mean exactly?’ She frowned.

‘To come back and what? Live on the farm with you? Work there?’ Her chest tightened with a growing fear that her summer fling was trying to transition into something more, something she wasn’t ready for and didn’t want, because it would involve opening her heart and inviting the possibility of hurt, disappointment and loss when he eventually realised he’d made a mistake.

‘Aye, living on the farm but not working there. You can still do interior design on Mull. Work for someone on the mainland maybe? Or start your own business.’

She dug her toes into the sea-covered sand. ‘I’m twenty-one.’

‘Aye, I know. So?’

He was being deadly serious.

Tilly opened her mouth, then closed it. Despite standing in the sea, she felt like a fish out of water flapping about because she was uncertain what to say and terrified of big scary feelings.

The sun disappeared behind a cloud and plunged the beach into shade.

The only sound besides the call of swifts and the slap and retreat of the waves was the roaring in her head.

The water lapped at her thighs and it was so cold, it felt painful.

Cal linked his hands tighter and tugged her close.

Part of her wanted to sink into his warmth and breathe in the intoxicating scent of straw and sweat.

He was kind, passionate and thoughtful, yet that wasn’t enough to override the part of her that was pulling away.

It had already felt like she was in too deep before he’d started saying things like that.

The wind buffeted them and it was chilly without the sun. The rush and suck of the small waves on the shore competed against the thump thump of her heart.

‘I love you, Tilly.’

The breath she hadn’t realised she’d been holding whooshed from her. The look of longing and love he was giving made her want to run away. Except they were a good half-hour walk from Cal’s car with another forty-minute drive for him to drop her off, so she was trapped, physically and emotionally.

‘I know it’s a big thing to admit, but this summer with you, it’s been—’

Tilly stopped him with a kiss. She didn’t want the fallout of feelings, just touch and physical desire.

She wanted an uncomplicated fling, then to leave and get on with her life.

To keep moving and striving forward, not to stay on Mull, however much the island had captivated her.

There was a whole world out there and she couldn’t – she wouldn’t – be suffocated by feelings or allow herself to be trapped.

It should have been easy to fall in love in a place like this, and yet something had stopped her from falling for Cal completely.

So Tilly initiated desire, knowing full well that Cal wouldn’t be able to resist a spicy fumble on a deserted beach.

Her goal was to divert his train of thought, because she didn’t know how to reply to his proclamation of love.

She wouldn’t reciprocate or give him hope when he’d obviously been thinking of their time together in a completely different way to her.

Sex and desire was a lot less complicated than love and promises.