One String (Lighter Ones)

Chapter 19

Ricky

“What are you doing?” Marilyn asks.

“I don’t like this. We’re here to come clean to our friends, so why are we lying to them?”

“Are we?” Her beautiful blue eyes glisten.

Even the thought of Marilyn crying is too much. Releasing her arm, I pull her to me, smashing her breasts against my chest as I move us into the room with Marilyn’s overnight bag on the floor and close the door. When she looks up, I see red splotches on her neck and cheeks.

“Talk to me.”

Marilyn’s nostrils flare. “I think it would be easier to admit that we’re not right for each other.”

“Easier?” I ask, my volume increasing. “What the fuck is easier about that?”

“I don’t want to be hurt, Ricky.” She pushes away from me and walks to the window. With her back turned, she continues talking. “During my drive down here, my thoughts were all stupid and unobtainable.” She spins toward me. “I’ve liked you since I was a kid.” She motions between us. “This isn’t real.”

Fuck that.

I take two long strides and meet her chest-to-chest, towering over her. “This is real, Marilyn.” Snaking one arm around her waist, I bring the other to her long hair and tug it back, making her lift her perfect pouty lips to mine. Before she can say anything, my kiss captures her, stealing her protest.

I kiss her like there’s no tomorrow, because if she keeps listening to the voices in her head, there won’t be a tomorrow. I press my tongue against the seam of her lips, demanding entrance. Once inside her warm heaven, our tongues slide and twist, a tango of give-and-take. The longer we kiss, the slacker she becomes in my arms, the tension easing from her. My hand around her waist goes lower, over her firm ass, pulling her toward me.

When I come up for air, I meet her radiant blue orbs. “This is real.”

“I want it to be.”

“Then stop fighting it.”

Her lips quiver as she leans her forehead against my chest.

Framing her cheeks, I lift her face back to mine. “Tell me when I’ve lied to you.”

Marilyn’s eyes close and open. “You haven’t.”

“I know I hurt you. There’s no fucking excuse for that. There was no lying. We went into that night after graduation with a deal for no strings.” I stare deep into her gaze. “I want strings, one or two, a whole fucking spool. I don’t know what our future holds, but I know that I want to give it a try. And that means not lying to our friends. Not lying to each other.” My cheeks rise. “I fucking love your sassy mouth, but I don’t want those sassy remarks to sound like you hate me again.”

Marilyn’s voice is barely a whisper. “I’m not sure I ever hated you.”

“What was that? I didn’t hear you.”

She sniffles before speaking louder. “I hated that you didn’t think about me the way I thought of you.”

“Do you want to know what I think of you right this minute?”

She shrugs. “I don’t know. Do I?”

“I think you do.” Releasing her, I reach for her hands, holding both of them in mine. I tug her toward the bed, sit, and pull her onto my lap.

“I’m too heavy.”

Not allowing her to get up, I hold her close. “You’re light as a feather.” For a long moment, I’m silent, just looking at her—really looking. It’s as if I’m seeing her in a new light after knowing her for so long.

Letting go of her hands, I brush a rogue strand of her long hair behind her ears. One side and then the other. My gaze begrudgingly leaves her stunning stare and lowers, inch by inch. Instead of seeing the soft blue sweater, I imagine what she looks like beneath, her perfect boobs free from their prison. Lower, I imagine the way her hips curve, the way her trim stomach tightens as she comes. I stop myself before making it to her warm, wet pussy.

If I don’t, we’ll have to come up with another explanation for Justin and Devan.

“Last night,” I begin, “I asked you to give me another chance. You didn’t answer.”

“Because I don’t understand what you’re asking. We never dated before.”

“We never dated because I was scared.”

Marilyn cups my cheek. “Am I that scary?”

“Yes.” I nod with a grin. “All those years ago, I was me, a twenty-eight-year-old with nothing to show for my life but dirt under my fingernails and work that never ended.” When she tries to speak, I place a finger on her lips. “You, on the other hand, had been accepted to Ball State. You had a plan for your life. I wasn’t looking for a relationship, but if I had been, I wouldn’t have looked at you.” I hurry to keep her from questioning. “Not because you aren’t the most beautiful woman I know, but because I didn’t deserve you—probably still don’t. You had your whole life in front of you. You were never shy about wanting to get out of Riverbend.”

Marilyn reaches for my hand and turns it over, inspecting my nails. “No dirt.”

“Not now, but there will be. I’ll do what I can to help Justin. He has twice the acreage now, and he’s not only my friend but my brother-in-law.”

“You deserve to be happy with whomever you see in your future.”

“It’s taken me too damn long, but I see you, Marilyn. I want to deserve you. Farming is an honorable profession. My dad and Justin’s dad did it before us. I would never diss what Justin does, but I wasn’t fulfilled. I don’t know if I will be at Parker and Stevens, but I think I could be.” I drop a kiss on her upturned nose. “We should address the obvious. I’m a decade older than you. Years ago, our ages bothered me, but they don’t anymore. Do they bother you?”

She shakes her head. “I think I’ve gotten used to them. Last night, Mrs. Stevens mentioned you are older than the other applicants. I hadn’t thought about that until she said it.”

My forehead furrows. “Did she say that was bad?”

A smile threatens Marilyn’s lips, curling the ends. “She agreed it made you more stable. And by the sound of what Mr. Stevens proposed to you, he sees your life experiences as assets that you can bring to Parker and Stevens.”

Rubbing her back, I ask the same question I’ve been asking since last night, “Will you give me another chance?”

“You’re scary too.”

“I am?” I ask with a grin.

Marilyn nods. “I’m afraid to trust you.”

“You trusted me with your body last night.”

“And today.”

“And today,” I say, smiling.

“My body isn’t as easily hurt as my heart.”

I lay my hand over her sweater. “If you think I’d ever hurt what’s protected by these amazing boobs, intentionally,” I add, “you don’t know me. I’d like to get to know you better and vice versa.”

“That means telling our friends the truth?”

“I think it does.”

“Okay.”

Our lips come together, a kiss sealing our agreement and increasing my circulation. When she pulls slightly away, I tip my chin down. “Unless we want Devan and Justin to wait longer, I suggest we head downstairs.”

“Do you think they’d mind if we were another thirty minutes?”

Holding her securely, I spin, lowering her to the bed and leaning over her. Marilyn’s giggles fill the air, and her smile radiates her change in emotion. When she looks up at me surrounded by a cloud of her soft hair, I am taken by how much I truly want this to work.

“I think we should go downstairs,” she says.

Cupping her chin, I run my thumb over her puffy lips. “I prefer your smile.”

“I prefer smiling.”

I stand and reach for her hand. “Ready to come clean?”

“Are you proposing another shower, because I’m game.”

Damn. This woman.

“Many future showers. Devan and Justin first.”

“I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.”