2. Xander
Xander stood on the balcony for a long while, breathing in the cold, fresh air and watching the stars. He felt a strange kind of heaviness on this, the eve of his brother’s wedding. Xander couldn’t quite put it into words. He’d never been jealous of his brother, not for being two minutes older, and not for being first in line for the crown. Ruling wasn’t something Xander had ever found appealing.
And he wasn’t jealous of his brother for marrying, either — not exactly. Xander could have married, too; several of the women he’d dated had strongly implied that they’d be happy to receive a ring from him. But Xander wasn’t interested in marriage. Not really. There was nothing particularly appealing about a life with a random woman.
No, it wasn’t jealousy that Xander felt. Not exactly. It was just… heaviness.
If he were being honest with himself, Xander knew that he felt some kind of… spark… for Maisy. They’d met a few times during her courtship with his brother, and their conversations had always been marked by wit and repartee. But that spark wasn’t something Xander ever let himself think about too closely. This time tomorrow, Maisy would be his sister-in-law — and that, for better or worse, would be that. Anyway, it wasn’t like the spark could possibly be mutual. It was better to ignore it.
Though telling himself this didn’t alleviate any of the heaviness he felt.
Xander stayed on the balcony longer than he should have, relishing the fresh air and the peace. Eventually, though, he would be missed, despite his status as the free-spirited younger brother. He needed to return to the ballroom and make an appearance.
The moment Xander stepped back through the double doors, he caught sight of Maisy dancing with Niko. They were a well-matched pair. Maisy’s flowing green gown hugged her feminine curves and perfectly highlighted the forest green of her eyes. Her slightly curly chocolate-brown hair had been partially pulled back with a series of intricate silver pins adorned with tiny emeralds, while the rest cascaded freely down her back and swayed as she moved. Her cheeks were slightly pink with the exertion of the dance. She was gorgeous.
Not that Xander was thinking about how gorgeous she was. Not at all.
“Xander!”
Xander quickly turned from the sight of Maisy dancing, feeling a little like a young boy caught stealing candy, and saw his mother, Queen Karina. She was in her usual ceremonial outfit — a long blue gown and a modest silver tiara.
“Hello, Mother.”
Karina held out an arm, and Xander escorted them both to a collection of chairs near the edge of the room.
“How does your brother seem?” Karina asked as they took their seats. Xander glanced up at Niko, who was swaying with Maisy.
“He seems fine.”
“Hmm.” Karina tilted her head to the side. “I think he might be having cold feet.”
“Why would he be?” Xander regretted the words as soon as they came out, but his mother didn’t seem to notice anything out of the ordinary.
“Just… keep an eye on him, would you?”
“Of course, Mother.”
She smiled at him and patted his hand with her own. “Thank you, dear. Anyway, to you. How have you been? I saw you in the tabloids with that lovely French girl.”
“That was just gossip. We were only friends.” It was true — more or less.
“Hmm.” Karina tilted her head again, and Xander felt a stab of annoyance that she could read both him and his twin so well.
“How are you?” Xander asked. He wanted to preempt any further questions about his or Niko’s love lives. “I saw that you and Father are working on that new educational policy. Expanding the definition of a preschool to make childcare more affordable, right?”
“Right.” Karina launched into a description of the new policy, and Xander listened politely. Since he knew he’d never rule, he wasn’t particularly invested in the ins and outs of Aenicean policy. His eyes kept drifting back to Maisy as she danced, first with Niko, then with her father, then with a series of government officials and businessmen. Xander was impressed that her steps stayed so light and her smile stayed so real, even as she waltzed her fifteenth dance of the evening.
Eventually, the dancing wrapped up and the guests began to trickle out. Many were staying nearby or even in the palace in preparation for tomorrow’s wedding. A few of Niko’s groomsmen, including several childhood friends of both twins, found Xander and pulled him off for a quick prank on Niko — hiding one of his wedding shoes.
After the other groomsmen left, though, Xander retrieved the shoe and put it back with its mate. There was no need to stress his brother out, especially if their mother was right and he was having cold feet. Plus, the prank hadn’t been particularly clever. Xander smiled to himself as he remembered the kind of mischief he and his brother used to pull on each other as children, before they both grew up and Niko became increasingly serious and dutiful in preparation for his princely duties.
Finally, most of the guests were asleep. A few servants still walked the corridors, preparing pieces for the wedding tomorrow or doing the daily tasks of keeping such a large palace running. Xander started towards his room, but paused when he saw a door to one of the towers slightly ajar. When they were young, he and Niko had climbed the tower and locked the door behind them to avoid schoolwork, tutoring sessions, and endless rounds of dancing lessons. Could the door be open because Niko was upstairs now?
Xander hesitated, then slipped past the door and climbed the stairs into the tower. At the top was a veranda overlooking Aenicea in all its midnight glory. And leaning against the railing, a bottle of whiskey in hand, was Niko.
Xander smiled slightly at the realization that this was the second terrace-based meeting of the event with one half of the soon-to-be-married couple. Then he stepped onto the veranda and closed the door behind him. Niko started slightly at the sound and turned.
“Xander. It’s only you.”
“Wow. What a greeting.” Still, Xander crossed to his brother and leaned against the railing beside him. Niko offered him the bottle of whiskey, which Xander was alarmed to discover was already half empty, but Xander shook his head. He wanted his thoughts to stay clear tonight. One of the brothers had better be sober.
“What are you hiding from?” Xander asked.
Niko looked slightly surprised. “What makes you think I’m hiding from anything?”
“We always used to come out here to escape our duties. Remember how our math tutor used to bang on the door downstairs?”
“’Come out right now or I’ll make you do extra algebra!’” Niko recalled, his voice sounding just like that of their old tutor.
“Exactly. So, what are you hiding from today?”
Niko sighed and stepped away from the railing so he could rest his head on his hands. “Marriage,” he said, his voice slightly muffled.
For some reason, the admission irked Xander.
“Marriage? Why?”
“I… I don’t want this, Xander.” Niko straightened and turned to his brother. His eyes held an emotion Xander hadn’t seen from his brother in many years — something like regret. Guilt, even.
“Okay…” Xander waved a hand to encourage his brother to keep speaking. “Why not?”
“This isn’t what I wanted. None of it is.” Niko swept a hand across the darkened city. “I didn’t ask to get engaged as part of a political alliance. I didn’t ask to spend every moment of my life trying to do everything right to appease the public.”
“Niko.” Xander’s voice was low. He’d never heard his brother speak like this. It seemed their mother was right about the cold feet, after all. “What are you saying?”
“I don’t know. What I do know is that I don’t want to get married tomorrow.”
“It’s normal to be stressed.” Xander wasn’t sure what to say, but he had to say something. “I think a lot of people feel this way before their wedding night. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t the right thing to do.”
“What makes you so sure it is?”
“I mean, don’t you love Maisy?”
Niko sighed. “She’s a wonderful person. But like I said, this isn’t the life I would have chosen for myself.”
“Since when?” Xander let out a strained laugh. “You’ve taken to your role like a fish to water. You were born to be king — literally — and you’ve always performed all your duties admirably. The marriage might seem like a big deal, but it’s hardly different from what you’ve always done. Your duty.”
Niko took another long drink of whiskey. “My duty.”
“Yes, your duty. To the people you love. To your country. To your future wife.”
“To the people I love,” Niko repeated slowly. “To my future wife.”
“And to your country.”
The brothers looked at each other for a long moment, then Niko sighed.
“You’re right, Xander. I didn’t mean to worry you.”
“It’s fine. And I’m always right.” Xander flashed a grin, but he still felt a little unsettled. “So, you’re going to follow your duty tomorrow?”
Niko nodded slowly, then took another long drink of his whiskey.
“I am. Maisy really is a wonderful woman, and I need to do the right thing.”
“Good.” Xander grabbed for the bottle of whiskey, but Niko held on to it like it was his lifeline in a stormy sea. “You might want to cool it on the drinking a little.”
“Come on.” Niko toasted the starry sky above, then took another long pull. “It’s my last day as a bachelor. Have some!”
“I’m going to go to bed.” Xander punched his brother lightly on the shoulder. “Go to sleep soon, okay? And drink a whole glass of water.”
“Yes, Mother.” Niko rolled his eyes, but he looked more like himself, somehow. He looked lighter. “Don’t worry; I’m not going to drink myself into a stupor. I just need a few more minutes of fresh air and then I’ll go to bed too.”
“Okay. Good night, then.” Xander turned for the door, but hesitated with his hand on the handle. “Niko… I’m proud of you. You’re doing the right thing.”
The twins didn’t often talk like this. They preferred to exchange quips and teasing or, lately, to talk much less than they had before. But when Xander glanced back at his brother, he saw that Niko was smiling. It had been the right thing to say.
“Thanks, Xan.”
Xander smiled at the childhood nickname.
“Night, Nik.”
Then he retreated down the stairs and made his way to his room. Despite Xander’s success at talking his brother around — at least, he was fairly certain Niko had agreed to do his duty tomorrow — he still felt heavy. As he changed into pajamas and prepared to sleep, the heaviness pulled him down. Only when he was in bed, staring at the dark ceiling above, did Xander realize the problem.
Xander never wished he’d been born two minutes earlier, but he couldn’t help feeling that he would have a very different attitude towards marrying someone as intelligent, gorgeous, and funny as Maisy if he were in his brother’s shoes. Xander wished that Niko would appreciate Maisy more — she certainly deserved it.