Orphan Bride

Chapter 3

”Why is the door to the library locked, m”lord?” she asked, not bothering to hide her annoyance at having found it so as she levered herself away from the door and crossed her arms across her chest.

”Because I locked it,” he answered softly, moving slowly down the hallway until he was standing in front of it himself.

Felisa bit back another put upon sigh. ”May I please have the key? I like to read in there.”

”I know you do, and, no, you may not.”

She looked adorable when she was angry, even more so when she was flummoxed.

”May I ask why not, sir?”

”Because I”ve twice found you reading things that I don”t think you ought to be reading. So from now on, if you want to borrow a book from the library, you will have to come to me to be allowed in and show me the book you want before you leave. And if I don”t think that you should read it, then you won”t be allowed to do so. And I hope you remember the rules I already put in place for you in regards to drinking and eating.” Rune leaned casually against the door, thoroughly enjoying watching her try to come to grips with everything he”d just said.

For someone who he knew considered herself a servant, she wasn”t at all enamored of being told what to do, which was a dichotomy he found absolutely delicious.

For a long moment, he would swear that she was having a very hard time of it, indeed. Her less than submissive attitude was a breath of fresh air, much less deferential than anyone else on the staff, if he could consider that she was a part of the staff, and he wasn”t really sure whether or not he should.

But then, all of a sudden, her entire demeanor changed, and she relaxed visibly. Felisa presented him with what could only be described as a beatific face, meeting his eyes and saying softly, ”As you wish, sir,” then walking calmly away from him.

Damn. He”d hoped she”d give him a taste of what could be her very sharp tongue or even have a full-blown tantrum.

Rune longed to do to her again what he”d done to her that night so long ago. He”d replayed the scene over in his mind, but he was eager to do it again in real life.

He gave the library door a withering glance then headed to his study, where he poured himself a glass of whiskey and sank down into the blissfully comfortable chair behind his desk, while pulling at his tie and half unbuttoning his shirt. He was relatively sure that he wasn”t going to see her again this evening and that they were the only ones up at this hour.

Leaning back, he closed his eyes and allowed himself to drift back to when they”d met and that subsequent night.

”And who have we here?” he”d asked, entering his mother”s presence and noticing a very subtly pretty young woman sitting near her as he crossed to the older woman to kiss her cheek.

”This is Miss Heath, my new companion.”

The woman in question stood and curtsied politely to him. She was certainly a lovely change from the women his mother usually chose to have with her, who were all north of sixty and looked like the ass end of a barge.

This one was quite pretty, if a little plump, even if she was wearing a truly abominable dress. Even the horrible cut and quality, to say nothing of the terrible color of the thing, couldn”t diminish her loveliness as far as he was concerned.

”Miss Heath, this is my son, Rune Alderton, the seventh Marquis of Sommerville.”

”It”s very nice to meet you, sir.”

Her voice matched her looks, soft and sweet and melodic.

Rune recognized that name. ”Oh, you are the one I have to thank for saving my mother”s life when she fell ill?”

Her blush managed to make her look even more becoming, somehow, enhancing her complexion with a soft pinkness, rather than making it turn ruddy and blotchy as it did with some women.

”Well, I don”t know about that, sir,” she demurred.

”I do know about that, young lady. My mother counts your quick thinking and acting as the reason she survived to tell the tale.”

”She”s very kind.”

”No, she”s not, but I”m glad you think so, for now,” Rune teased.

His mother blustered at that, not wanting her new girl to leave because he”d given her a false impression of what she was like.

But he hadn”t. He was, in fact, dead on, so she couldn”t object too vociferously.

The more Rune got to know her, the more he came to like her, overall, although he sensed that her ”sweetness and light” demeanor hid something much deeper and perhaps even darker. He”d seen flashes of her temper, although it had, surprisingly, never in his presence been directed toward his mother, who could be a difficult person at her best and downright vicious at her worst.

She wasn”t smooth and polished, like the women his mother—and every other mother in the country, it seemed, would push into his path every time he went to any of the many balls his mother desperately wanted him to attend. She wasn”t fakely demure, carefully coiffed, and hadn”t been told to defer to him in regards to everything, in hopes that he would propose to her.

She obviously hadn”t gone to the best of schools—if she”d gone to any at all—and definitely hadn”t been put through a finishing school, either. She was more rough and tumble, and he liked that.

He”d been pleasantly surprised to find that she enjoyed reading, quite voraciously. It seemed to him that she was never without a book, and he discovered, too, that she was busy mowing her way through his library. She was also a night owl, like he was, and he often saw a light on in the library, knowing it was her.

Sometimes, he stopped on his way by to check in on her, and knowing that he couldn”t be caught there only made the prospect of doing so all that much more appealing.

On the night in question, Rune had found himself at loose ends, the evening he had expected to have with friends having fallen through, since more than one of them managed to get themselves engaged and were no longer allowed to prowl in the evenings, as they usually did—at least, not until he was married, anyway.

He had a glass of whiskey in his hand that he was going to take to bed with him, where he was going to read over some financial contracts that he would then—probably—sign.

While walking down the darkened hallway, he”d seen the telltale light peeping out from under the door to the library that he knew she favored, because it was closest to where she liked to sit.

A picture entered his mind as he entered the library, of her sitting there in her nightgown and robe, her hair down, skin enhanced by the golden glow of the candlelight.

She”d never done that, that he knew of—come to the library in her gown and robe—but it was certainly a sight he would love to see.

No, he could see that she was fully dressed, but definitely casual, as she sat with her legs stretched out in front of her, crossed at the ankles, a light blanket over her lap, biting her lip as she turned the pages eagerly, only occasionally reaching out to take a sip of something, probably sherry, and occasionally taking a bite of something, likely something sweet leftover from dinner.

Felisa had a definite sweet tooth, and he wished his mother would leave her alone about it, although that wasn”t likely going to happen. She was just beautifully rounded, and he liked her that way. She”d been downright skinny—near to starved—when she”d come to them, and he was only too glad to see her looking well fed. He preferred his women that way. When he brought a woman into his arms, he wanted to know that it was a woman—all soft curves against his distinctly more muscular build.

”I hope I”m not disturbing you, Miss Heath,” he announced his presence after a short time of perusing her quietly, to his own delight.

She literally threw the book at his head, and he had no doubt that it was some sort of automatic response.

He ducked athletically, and it sailed over him. Chuckling, Rune went and fetched it, bringing it back to her.

She stood as he approached her, putting her hand on her chest but curtseying anyway. ”I”m so sorry, m”lord. I didn”t mean to do that?—”

”I know you didn”t,” he soothed. ”Here”s your book back.”

She looked quite nervous and tentative, despite his reassurances. ”Thank you, sir.”

”You”re welcome. What are you reading?” he asked, having already covertly read the title. He wouldn”t have returned it to her if he thought it was something she shouldn”t have been reading.

”Oh, an old favorite, Jane Eyre.”

He nodded. ”Ah. Yes, I think a lot of young women like that story. It”s quite romantic.” He gestured to the seat. ”Please. Sit.”

Felisa had the distinct idea that it wasn”t a suggestion, so she did, although she was quite uneasy about it, even as she answered him truthfully. ”It is, but I also like the part where she first comes to Thornfield Hall and is just beginning to teach Adele—I like that she”s been able to break away from Lowood and come into her own a bit.”

He asked insightfully, ”Is that perhaps because her journey reminds you of your own, Miss Heath?”

”I”m sure. I”m an orphan, and I”ve been a governess.”

His eyebrows went up, but he wasn”t sure at which bit of information she”d inadvertently given him about herself. ”You”ve been a governess?”

Felisa couldn”t help but smile at his surprised look. ”Yes. I”ve been most things in service—tweenie, scullery maid, parlor maid, governess. I was a parlor maid at the Whitcombs when your mother had her attack, but I”ve done a little bit of everything.”

”My, my, my, that”s quite a resume for one so young.”

She took that as a blot on her character. ”I have done and will do whatever I need to turn my hand to feed myself, and I have excellent references from all of them, sir.”

He smiled reassuringly. ”I”m sure you do. My mother wouldn”t employ just anyone, even if she did think they”d saved her life.”

He wished she”d smile, but she was too ill at ease to do so.

Rune handed her drink to her and raised his own, clinking his glass with hers.

”And now, you”re the companion of a very important woman.”

”I know.” She sat there, holding her drink and not drinking, until he reached out his finger and tipped it toward her lips. Hoping, too, that it would relax her some, she took a reasonable swallow of it. ”Have you read all of the books in the library?” she asked suddenly.

He laughed. ”Not hardly. Although I”ve developed more of a taste for it as I”ve grown older, reading—or anything that smacked of having to be cooped up in a room for any length of time—wasn”t high on my list of things to do when I was younger.”

”And I”ve never really wanted to do anything else.”

He smiled down at her. ”I think I”ve gotten that idea. You”re here quite often.”

Felisa nodded. ”Most nights, I have trouble sleeping, but I”ve found that if I can read some, and have bit of a drop of something?—”

”And a bit of pudding,” he contributed with a teasing grin.

”Yes, that too, I”m better able to get at least some sleep.” Realizing that she”d just confessed to raiding his larder—and his liquor cabinet—every evening, she peeped up at him. ”You don”t mind that I do this, do you? I”ll stop if you want me to.”

There was the opportunity he had wanted since he”d gotten home.

”Well,” he drawled, almost unable to prevent himself from smiling. ”I don”t know about that. Liquor isn”t cheap, to say nothing of the fact that you”re much too young and innocent to drink it, and I know my mother isn”t fond of you eating sweets, so there are two strikes against you.”

”Oh,” she said, the very picture of dejection.

”But I do have a way that you could be purged of your guilt. And, if you agree, then you can continue to come to the library, but without the booze—have a cup of tea instead—and although I wouldn”t restrict you from it, myself, without the sweets.”

She looked immediately suspicious. ”Agree to what?” The words were out of her mouth before she had a chance to tame their accusatory tone, and she bit her lip, wondering if he was going to take offense.

But he just laughed again, to her surprise. ”Well, when I was a boy, I used to get the cane when I misbehaved.”

Rune actually saw her shudder and wondered if he hadn”t hit a nerve of some kind that was going to send her fleeing out into the night to get away from him. Then he remembered what he”d just learned about her. There was no telling what kind of hell she had lived through in that orphanage.

In fact, she began to move herself away from him, cornering herself into the window. Her face was ghostly white, and her hands were out in front of her. ”No,” she breathed, ”please. Not the cane.”

He immediately wanted to do nothing more than comfort her, his arms already out to pull her to him before he had a chance to think about it. But one look in her terrified eyes, and he retracted them, crossing them over his chest to keep from pulling her to him.

”No, no cane, I promise,” he murmured softly. ”Just my hand.” He held it up, as if it was going to look innocuous to her, although she didn”t think she”d ever seen a hand quite that big before, and all she could do was blink slowly at it.

Apparently, thinking about it coming crashing down on her vulnerable rear wasn”t something she was willing to consider.

”I-I don”t think?—”

Before she could get any further, he sat down next to her on the window seat and, with surprising gentleness, tugged her over his lap.

She didn”t struggle as he”d imagined she would, but rather merely turned her head so that she could see him, looking confused. ”What are you doing?”

”Why, Miss Heath, I”m going to spank you, as you deserve, for making free with my pudding and my wine,” he answered matter-of-factly.

”Oh.”

She was acting as if she”d never been taken over anyone”s knee before, which belied her previous reaction about the cane. Although with further thought, he wondered if she”d only ever been punished while bent over something—a chair or a horse, designed or at least set aside for exactly that purpose and none other.

To him, that was the least desirable position in which to punish a beautiful young woman. It was much too cold, bringing to mind the word ”institutional”, which he supposed probably fit her experience.

But this was not going to be that kind of experience at all. He wondered if she could even fathom the difference, considering how violently she had reacted at first.

Rune set his feet on the lower rung of the handy small table she”d commandeered, which kept her level. He did still lay his free arm across her back, though, but he didn”t wrap it around her. He thought that might become necessary later, when she inevitably began to move around, trying to avoid the swats he was going to deliver to that beautiful backside of hers, but he would save that move for later.

”I don”t mind you having more of something, Miss Heath, but I would like you acknowledge that it is mine. So the next time you crave something to eat or drink while you read in here, I want you to come find me and ask me if you may have it.”

Her tentative, ”Y-yes, sir,” was obviously said solely by rote.

”And I hope this will help you to remember to do so. Believe me, you do not want me to have to repeat this lesson, or it will go much worse for you.”

”Yes, s-sir.”

Rune didn”t think he”d ever had a woman lie over his lap in imminent danger of being disciplined, who was so quietly accepting of her fate. It almost bothered him that she was being so compliant, but he wondered if that would change once the spanking began.

He brought his palm down—relatively hard—over her material covered behind, and even though it wasn”t on the bare as he preferred, he still marveled at the feel of her bottom beneath it—soft but firm, wobbling just slightly at the impact.

She was fair, and he desperately wanted to watch her skin turn a dusky rose from his efforts, but he wasn”t sure he dared to do that, so he continued to administer her spanking over her skirts.

She remained almost eerily quiet, only occasionally gasping when he landed a harder than usual swat that must”ve made it through those annoying layers of clothing.

Finally, he could stand it no more. Spankings given over clothing were a waste of time, in his opinion, so he paused and—somewhat more tentatively than he might have if the situation had been but a bit different—began to lift her skirts up over her back.

”Your lordship, please, don”t!” she whimpered, and his cock came to full attention—not that it had been far from that continually since he”d met her. Some of the women he”d spanked in the past—granted, they were almost always ones he”d had to pay—would have noticed his blatant interest immediately, but she didn”t. And Rune wasn”t sure whether he was glad about that or not.

”I”m sorry, Miss Heath. But you”ll find that I”m at least as much of a stickler as my mother is about some things, and I”m sorry,” and he almost did sound as if he was, ”you having the temerity to just take what you want from my larder is one of those things. I believe that servants are very much like children and that they can occasionally benefit from physical chastisement in order to remind themselves of who and what they are. Normally, I might bring something like this up to Mrs. Brown, the housekeeper. or Rochester, depending on who and what the culprit was. And, in your case, I suppose I should be telling my mother about this?—”

”No, sir, please don”t!”

He was glad she couldn”t see the knowing smile that spread over his face at her heartfelt exclamation. ”You would rather I dealt with it than tell her, then?” he asked, liking the idea of forcing her to admit that she would prefer that he spanked her than to tattle on her to his mother, even though his mother would definitely just bawl her out and not exact any kind of physical penalty.

He knew he was probably going to Hell for using her fear of losing her job against her in order to be able to spank her, but Rune couldn”t stop himself. He would carry plenty of guilt about it, but it felt too damned good to have her draped over his erection like this, her bloomer-clad behind revealed by the skirts he”d bunched at her waist.

She was caught between his mother and a man who seemed determined to spank her. She did not want her employer to find out what she”d been doing in the evenings. Felisa knew that she would be unhappy with her on several fronts about that, and she did not want to incur any black marks that might—even just eventually—lead to her being dismissed.

She wasn”t that interested in accruing any red marks, either, but she”d take those over potentially losing her job with no reference and, thus, no possibility of being hired for another.

But, oh God, she didn”t want to answer him and his blasted question!

Rune lay his big hand over a bottom that he could feel, even though her bloomers, was already quite warm from his efforts.

She wiggled and squirmed more while trying to decide the undecidable than she had during the entire spanking, so far.

”God, please, no. Yes!”

”Which is it to be, Miss Heath? My discipline, or a couple of blots on your copybook with my mother, who holds your ultimate fate in her hands?” he pressed, patting her backside almost lovingly.

Suddenly, the struggling stopped. ”All right.”

He snapped his hand down on her relatively unprotected rear, hearing her cry out for the first time. ”That”s not enough.”

”Yes, I”d rather have you discipline me, sir,” she agreed quickly but through obviously gritted teeth.

”I knew you were a smart young woman.”

Rune wondered if he dared to take her undergarment down, and after several more, sharp smacks, he did just that, nearly losing control of himself entirely at the sound of the tiny whimpers she issued while begging him not to.

”A spanking isn”t really effective if the miscreant is protected by layers of material, Felisa.”

It was the first time she”d heard him use her given name, and somehow, it sounded utterly obscene when he said it.

And the punishment was just that much worse to her when it was his skin coming in direct contact with hers. Being over his lap—being this close to him at all—was intimate enough. But to feel his hand touching her there, Felisa couldn”t even begin to put into words what she was feeling, beyond the obvious pain of it.

And of which there was quite a bit! She didn”t think it was as bad as that she had endured as a youngster, but the combination of who was spanking her and the position into which she”d been put to receive it conspired to make it worse than it might have been, she thought.

It had been a while since she”d had to face any kind of physical punishment, although it had been a part of her daily life in the orphanage when she was younger. But as she grew, she was then expected to take on the role of disciplinarian—as well as mother, doctor, friend, and confident—to the younger children.

She refused to lay a hand on any child, and as a result, she was vilified by her fellow older students but beloved of the children. She was the one they came to with a problem or concern—certainly not the adult teachers or caregivers, and not the elder orphans, who didn”t treat the younger children any better than the adults did.

And it was something altogether different from what she remembered. She wasn”t sure if that was because he was the one doing the spanking—and she was halfway in love with him already—or if it was just because the setting was so different, although she had just about as much ability to avoid this punishment as she”d had when she was younger. She was just as trapped now as she”d been then, only she was in distinctly better circumstances overall.

Did that matter?

It certainly did to her flesh, which was weaker than she wanted to admit around him. She”d certainly never felt like this when she was younger. And this was a much more personal method of punishment than what she”d had to endure. She was never taken over anyone”s lap, never held like this, and never, ever felt that the person administering the spanking ever had her best interests at heart.

She wasn”t at all sure that he did, either, but at least he bothered to pretend he did, and that made her softer toward him than she wanted to be, too.

She couldn”t feel like this toward him. She just couldn”t. It wasn”t right, and it was quite likely to end up with her either having to leave or being booted out.

Neither of those eventualities was anything to be aspired to, but no one had told any other part of her than her mind that, apparently.

”Do you understand what I expect you to do the next time you want to take something from the kitchen, Felisa, like a plate of sweets or a bit of wine?” he asked, continuing to leave his angry red imprint on her rump with each slow, deliberate smack.

”Yes, sir,” she whispered, eyes filled with unbidden tears that she refused to shed. It would be a cold day in hell before she did either of those things again. She could certainly do without the sweets and the wine or liquor. In fact, she”d probably go so far as not to come down here again—at least, not at night. Instead, she”d do what she”d been doing for the first few months she was here—read in her room, although she”d miss being surrounded by all those lovely books.

It would be worth it to avoid being mauled by him or have him holding her job over her head as he was doing now—perhaps for even more nefarious purposes.

When he finished the punishment—with ten, very painful, worse than anything he”d done before smacks—he did something else she found highly unusual.

He didn”t just let her go as she expected he would, perhaps suggesting that she should go to bed and think about her bad behavior or threatening her with more of a punishment if she didn”t obey him immediately. No, instead, he turned her over with more tenderness than she”d ever experienced from a man in her life and gathered her into his arms, so that she was cuddled against him.

The only time she”d ever been held like this was by one of the few friends she”d made as a child. They had comforted each other whenever they were punished, in the night, after everyone else was asleep.

No one—besides her friend Penny—had ever hugged her as an adult, and certainly, no adult man.

But here he was, holding her securely against him. He wasn”t even trying to touch her in the manner she fully expected that he would—his hands wandering to touch her in places he had no right to—especially considering that her skirts were still up and her bloomers were still down. In fact, he seemed to be avoiding touching her bottom at all, perhaps in consideration of the pain she was in at his behest. But then, she wasn”t at all sure that she should be ascribing such altruistic tendencies to him, considering what he”d just done to her.

Felisa was quite certain that she should have been trying to get away from him, twisting and turning and, if all else failed, going boneless and ending up in a heap on the floor if necessary. But it felt too blasted good to be held like this for her to convince herself to do what she knew she ought.

He was warm and strong and sure and solid, and it felt like Heaven to just lie against him. His arms were quite secure around her, but he still managed to rub her back and brush the hair that had inevitably fallen out of her carefully tight bun out of her eyes. He was even murmuring soft, soothing things, as if she was a child rather than a full-grown adult. She”d never heard those kinds of things as a child, either, but they felt just as amazing at twenty-two as they would have at nine, she was sure.

”Are you all right?” he asked.

Felisa couldn”t keep herself from snorting derisively. ”You”re asking me that now?” She stiffened immediately after having said that, though, not knowing how he was going to take her sharp question.

But he just chuckled. ”Yes, I am.”

She shrugged. ”I”m all right.”

”I”m glad, Felisa. Is your bottom sore?”

”Do you really have to ask?”

Another low chuckle. ”I suppose not.” There was a slight pause, during which he began to rock her just a bit. She”d always wanted to be rocked and never had been, that she remembered. ”Did someone beat you with a cane, Felisa?” he asked, his tone quiet but firm, and she knew he expected an answer.

Although everything in her was telling her to move away from him, she instead burrowed her head against him at that question.

Rune took that as a yes. ”Someone at the orphanage?”

He”d felt her stiffen at his questions, even more so at the second one.

”Please, don”t ask me.”

”Why?”

She lifted her head and met his eyes boldly. ”Because you don”t really want to hear.”

He grimaced. ”I”m sorry. But punishments don”t need to be like that—given just to inflict as much pain as possible on the recipient, without any care for her, or whether or not a lesson is being learned in the process.”

She scoffed.

”You were just punished. Do you feel beaten as you must”ve before?”

He raised his eyebrows at her, having made his point.

”No.”

He contracted his arms around her tightly. ”I”m glad. That”s not how I wanted you to feel—at least, not when I finally let you go.”

Felisa knew she was probably going to regret asking this question, but it came out before she could stop it. ”H-how do you want me to feel?”

”Do you really want to know?” he asked, his face much more open than she had experienced in men of his set.

”Yes, I think so.”

”You”ll have to trust me a bit. Do you think you can?”

She bit her lip. ”Are you going to hurt me again?”

”Not as long as you behave,” he answered truthfully.

”What do I have to do to behave, as far as you”re concerned?”

This time, he did grin, flashing his even, white teeth. ”You are definitely very smart and very wary. All you need to do is be quiet and let me touch you in places you know you shouldn”t.”

There was the rub she”d been expecting. She looked alarmed, and he set about soothing her again with his voice and touch.

”No,” she whispered.

”All right. Then I won”t make you feel good. You can totter off to bed with your bottom throbbing and nothing to offset it.”

”Offset it?” She looked delightfully confused.

”Yes. I generally think of a punishment as having two sides or parts—the actual spanking, or strapping, or whatever, and the comforting afterward, which I”m doing for you now. That comforting can be extended a bit, to make you feel wonderful and nearly forget about your thoroughly spanked bottom, but you don”t want me to touch you like that, so I won”t.” He continued to rock her gently, though, holding her tight, but she had a feeling that if she began to struggle, he”d put her down. And even her contrary mind didn”t want that.

Felisa bit her lip, looking very apprehensive. ”I-I don”t think I can,” she admitted, knowing she was risking angering him, although he”d not shown himself to be angry about any of this in the least, even the fact that she”d made herself free with his food and drink.

He dropped a kiss onto her forehead. ”I understand; I do. Would you like a taste of it? And I”ll stop any time you tell me to?” he offered, hoping his own desires wouldn”t turn him into a liar once he began.

She was curious about what he was suggesting, he could tell, because she hadn”t said ”no” immediately. She had an agile mind, and he would bet that her body was just as curious as it was.

”M”lord.”

”Felisa,” he breathed, leaning down to kiss her cheek with the utmost tenderness.

”I-I don”t know what to say.”

Her eyes flitted to his for a second then down again, and he intuited that she wanted him to make the decision for her.

Rune began to adjust both of them slowly, so that he could lean back against the casement of the window, while keeping her on his lap. Then he stretched her out, partly beside him, partly still on top of him.

”I”m going to touch you now. If you want me to stop, all you have to do is say so.”

That sounded so simple at the time—as if she was in control of everything—but she had no idea, at that point, that what was going to happen to her was going to make that so bloody hard to do!

She opened her mouth, and he paused, but when she didn”t say anything, he brought his hand—not to where she thought he was going to go—between her legs—but to cup her cheek instead, bending slowly down to kiss her, just barely pressing his lips to hers.

”You”re very pretty, Miss Heath,” he whispered against her mouth.

It seemed absurd that he would call her that when she was practically lying naked on his lap, but his voice had a teasing tone that she knew was meant to put her at ease as much as was possible in this situation.

”No, I”m not,” she breathed nervously.

He lifted his lips from hers at that, looking down his patrician nose at her, and she knew from his expression that he was going to scold her. ”Don”t argue with your betters, Miss Heath. If I say you”re pretty, you”re pretty. I”ve seen a lot of women in my time, and I know beauty when I see it.”

”Have you seen a lot of women in this position?” she asked boldly, wishing—once the words were out of her mouth—that she”d kept it shut.

But he didn”t seem perturbed at her question in the least. ”My fair share of them, I suppose.”

This time, when he kissed her, he was a bit more demanding, slowly slanting his mouth over hers, then nipping at her lips lightly and whispering, ”Open your mouth for me, Felisa.”

Her caught breath was all he needed, taking advantage of that slight opening and gently pressing his tongue past her lips. Her mouth opened further on a gasp, and a small, hesitant palm found his chest but didn”t push at him at all.

Rune continued to kiss her, one hand cradling the back of her head, the fingertips of the other drawing a line down the center of her body, between her breasts, down the front of her corset, over the mound of material around her hips, then onto her bare lower belly.

She started at that, and he pulled a bit away from her. ”I know it”s too much to ask, but you really don”t need to be afraid of me. I”m not going to hurt you.”

”It”s not just that. I shouldn”t, we shouldn”t?—”

”I know. But I want to give you a taste of what I can do for you.” He caught her eyes as he touched the tip of his nose to hers. ”Remember, you can stop me any time you like.”

Felisa nodded, already panting.

Rune took that as a good sign—a very good sign.

”I”m going to move my fingers, and I want you to try to relax. Let your legs fall open for me.”

But she became rigid in his arms at that, looking alarmed. ”Oh, but I can”t!”

His hand cupped her jaw again. ”Oh, but you can, Felisa. I promise you, there will be no bad consequences from what we”re doing. None. My mother won”t find out, you”ll not lose your virginity, and you won”t get pregnant.”

She was biting her lip again—in uncertainty, he was sure.

But he was wrong about that, although he wouldn”t find out why until a little later.

He began to drag his fingertips down toward her most private secrets. ”Relax,” he repeated hypnotically, voice low and reassuring. ”Open for me, Felisa.” She was still quite rigid, and he didn”t push.

Instead, he simply began to explore other places, letting her learn how it felt to be touched by him and feeling her slowly begin to relax for him.

Even then, he didn”t pounce. He caressed her hips, down her sides and the outsides of her thighs, even reaching behind her to cup a still hot, well rounded cheek.

She was just as happy for him to move his hand away from that area, and he took advantage of her disconcertion to bring his fingers to cover her mound.

Not really knowing what she was doing—but actually doing the exact opposite of what she should have—Felisa arched into his hand, rather than away from it, somehow, blushing brightly at having done so, and belatedly moving way.

But his other hand came down to stop her by resting atop her bottom.

”Stay still,” he cautioned in a just slightly chiding tone, which he found a lot of women often responded well to.

And she was one of them, although she did whimper in a way that made it just that much harder for him to continue being as restrained as he was with her.

But one of the delights of his life was to watch a woman who had never felt the ultimate in ecstasy as he brought her to her first pleasure, and he was definitely dying to see the lovely Miss Heath in the throes of an ecstasy she”d never experienced before—that she probably didn”t even know existed.

Why he was so attracted to her, Rune would never know. But he recognized that it was much more so than he had ever been to any woman he”d ever met. And—even though his conscience was going to give him hell about it—he intended to take full advantage of the close proximity in which they were living, as often as he could manage.

”M”lord, I-I…”

He had a feeling that in her next breath, she was going to tell him to stop.

So he did something he wouldn”t usually, carefully pressing his fingers between lips that were pillow soft, deliberately dragging them over her clit—and thoroughly enjoying how she shook once, hard, when he did, while crying out softly—then following her natural furrow to the entrance he most wanted to occupy.

She wasn”t quite as wet as he might have hoped, but her tribute was definitely there.

But what wasn”t, when he pressed his fingers against that opening to test her virginity, was a hymen.

Of everything he”d done to her, that was what made her struggle away from him. She didn”t tell him to stop touching her, but she did break free of his hold and sit up, burying her hands in her face.

”No! I can”t let you do that! I won”t go through that again!” she sobbed, apparently too lost in her own bad memories to hide herself any further away from him.

As badly as his own body was aching—and he had the audacity to hope that perhaps she might be aching some, too—Rune put that aside in favor of cradling her to him again. She didn”t want to be held at first, but he was persistent, and eventually, she stopped fighting him.

For a long time, he simply held her there, leaning his back against the casement while she lay sideways against his chest, his hand stroking her hair as best he could when it was still confined to that horrible bun of hers, his other arm slung lightly across her hips.

”I”m sorry. I didn”t know,” he kept repeating, soft and low.

”Of course, you didn”t know,” she said eventually, her voice a dull imitation of its usually animated tone.

”Someone hurt you that way, too,” he stated quietly, hoping against hope that she would refute his assertion as he rubbed his hand up and down her back.

But she didn”t.

Felisa wasn”t even crying anymore, he”d already noticed. She was just lying there, spent and surrendered, not holding on to him, either, but rather with her arms wrapped tightly around herself.

”Someone at the orphanage?” he asked, wishing he thought he could get her to tell him who, so that he could find him and wring the man”s neck personally.

Her entire body contracted at that, but not in the way he had wanted her to originally, before he”d discovered this highly disturbing thing about her.

”For what it”s worth, I wouldn”t have hurt you for the world. In fact, my goal was exactly the opposite of that. But that is neither here nor there,” he murmured, still trying to soothe her in any way he could while she trembled minutely in his arms. If she had seemed as if she wanted to get down, he would have put her down, but she made no motion to do so, so he simply continued to hold her, trying to provide as much comfort to her as she would allow.

Finally, she surprised him by saying, ”It always hurts,” and his own breath caught at the raw depths in her voice.

Rune rested his chin atop her head and sighed. ”It doesn”t have to, little one. I”m sorry that it did for you, but I assure you, that does not have to be the way it is between a man and a woman. Many women quite enjoy it if the man they”re with bothers to make certain that she does.”

”You”re lying,” she said without rancor, her tone back to that still, deathly neutral way.

He didn”t take offense at what she said at all. ”I”m not, Felisa. That was what I was going to do for you—bring you to pleasure after I”d blistered your bottom.”

She leaned back, looking into his eyes, from which he did not flinch despite how suspicious she looked. ”There is no pleasure in that act for a woman.”

”Well, there doesn”t have to be pain during penetration, but I was speaking of a slightly different act.”

She looked confused, and on impulse, he offered, ”Would you like me to show you?”

The wary look crept right back into her expression. ”I-I don”t think so.”

”All right.”

”I should get up.”

”You can if you like, but I would be just as happy to have you stay with me if you would like.”

”You must be tired of holding me.”

”I don”t think I could ever get tired of doing that.”

She almost smiled, and he tapped the end of her nose.

Felisa was looking tentative again.

”What is it? You can say anything to me, Felisa. I won”t take offense.”

Her doubtful look made him chuckle.

”Pleasure, you say?”

”Yes, darling,” he answered patiently. ”More pleasure than I”d wager you”ve ever experienced in your life is waiting for you, whenever you would like me to bring it to you.”

”And it wouldn”t hurt?” she asked, looking more fragile than he”d ever seen her look before.

He shook his head solemnly. ”No, it would not. I promise.”

Her hands went to his shirt, playing with the buttons nervously. ”And you would show me this?”

”Yes, if you would like.”

”But I can stop you any time I want?”

”Absolutely, love,” he whispered, meeting her eyes every time hers peeped up at him.

He couldn”t believe that she was considering it, and he very carefully didn”t push. He wanted it to be her decision. Later, he might take that choice away from her, but not now. She was in too delicate a frame of mind, and he didn”t want to take the chance of driving her away.

”All r-right,” she allowed, biting her lip.

Again, he moved slowly and surely, putting her back in that very vulnerable position but watching her even more carefully this time than he had before as he did so. Eventually, she ended up where she had been, with his hand between her legs, although he could feel how rigid her body had become.

”It”s all right. You”re safe.”

He dipped two fingertips into the remnants of her juices, bringing them up to that tiny bump and stroking slowly over it.

Her ”Ah!” and the way she jerked her body at first touch wasn”t unexpected, and the hand that had been stroking her back came to rest just above her bottom, not quite holding her still, but there was the unspoken threat of it.

His fingers never stopped touching her there from that point on, though, and she quickly lost any fear she might have felt as he began to drown her in utterly overwhelming sensations that quickly began to build on top of each other with every deliberate stroke.

Sure, firm fingertips brushed over her, rubbed around her, teased just the very tip of her as he watched and listened to even the slightest of sounds she made, drinking in the sight of her every time her hips undulated toward him as she innocently tried to increase the sensations he was teasing her with and coveting every single response she showed him.

When he knew she wasn”t far from her culmination, Rune stopped suddenly. ”Afraid?” he asked, knowing she wasn”t.

”No!” she practically yelled, almost grinding against him in her frustration.

”Want me to continue?”

”Oh, yes, please!” she sighed, and with a chuckle that sizzled along nerve endings that were already highly sensitized, he did.

She was panting and writhing and gripping the front of his shirt for dear life, and he knew she was close.

”Look at me, Felisa,” he ordered.

To his amazement, she obeyed him immediately, her eyes fuzzy and half-lidded.

”It”s going to happen in a few seconds, and I don”t want to you to be afraid. Your body is going to be entirely out of your control, but it”s going to feel so incredible that you”re not going to care. I”m right here, and I have everything in hand—I have you, in hand.”

”Yes, sir,” she sighed dreamily.

He gathered more of her on his fingertips—which were the only times she had tensed up—but that went away immediately as the pads of his fingers began to worry her clit again almost immediately.

Suddenly, her eyes went very wide, and she held her breath. ”S-sir! I-I f-feel—oh my God!”

As much as he hated to, he put his hand over her mouth so t the scream he could feel building within her was stifled. Damn, he wanted to hear her full-throated expression of ecstasy! But she seemed to get the message and contented herself with long, low moans as her body continued to convulse on his fingertips.

He milked as much pleasure out of that orgasm as he could—her first—then gathered her shaking, shuddering body to him again, holding her until the storm had passed.

And this time, she clung to him as if he was the only stable thing in her world.

After a long while of simply holding her, demanding nothing more from her than that, she whispered, sounding so incredulous that it made him laugh, ”You were right. No pain.”

Rune tightened his arms around her as he continued to chuckle.

”I”m sorry. I”m not used to men telling me the truth.”

That brought him up cold. ”I”m sorry to hear that.”

She shrugged. ”It”s just a fact of life for me.”

”I”m still sorry that is your experience of life, Felisa.”

With a big breath, she sat up, and he mourned the loss of the feel of her small body lying—spent and trusting—against his.

”I should go to bed.”

Rune helped her down off his lap, holding her by the hips until he could see that she was steady, then hopping down himself.

When she would simply have turned and walked out of the room—and perhaps even his life—without another word, he stopped her, catching her wrist and using her own momentum against her to pull her back against him.

As he tipped her chin up so that she had to look up at him, he whispered, just before his lips descended on hers, ”I wish I could pick you up and carry you to my bed.”

When he finally took a step back, knowing that if he didn”t, he couldn”t be responsible for what he did next, she gave him a tentative smile and turned to leave.

Rune watched her walk away from him, fists clenched at his side while the muscles in his legs spasmed with the effort it took to keep him from running after her and doing what he”d just told her he wanted to, damn the consequences.

Now, thinking back on it, a lit cheroot in one hand and a generous glass of whiskey in the other, Rune was definitely kicking himself for not having given in to his instincts and taken her to his bed. Perhaps then, she wouldn”t be giving him such a cold shoulder, although the events that happened shortly after their first encounter, many months ago, might well have more to do with that than his own chivalrous tendencies.