24. Comfort
COMFORT
ISABELLA
F or the first time in what feels like forever, I'm not injured, endangered, captive, or in heat. As Orri and I ride away from the scene and back onto the trails toward the surrogacy center, I feel nothing but a calm, exhausted sense of relief.
I guess I don’t have the energy left to feel anything else. That had been a close one. Far, far too close. Even though Orri came to my rescue at the end, I'm still proud of my quick thinking. I'm proud of myself for finally standing up to Adik once and for all, and even though the thought of him being devoured by monsters makes me a little queasy to my stomach, I know he brought it upon himself.
There's a sense of lightness in my heart and in my gut, knowing that he won't be able to bother me anymore. I wouldn't say that I'm glad that he's dead, but it feels like I can finally breathe. Like I can stop looking over my shoulder and finally move on with my life. Speaking of which...
"How did you know where to find me?" I murmur. My head lolls against his warm, strong chest. His wide hands hold me against him as we ride. The mount bobs up and down with a steady, soothing motion that makes my eyelids heavy. Much more of this, and I'll fall asleep right here in his arms.
"I put two and two together. We'd been tracking their movements, and when I saw your bag back at the spaceport I thought the worst. But then I got a call from my colleague Ulfar, and when I realized you were heading right toward their migration path..." I craned my neck to face him as he rubbed the back of his neck. "I gotta admit, I thought it was all going in one ear and out the other when I was going on about the field reports the other day. But you remembered, and you used that knowledge to buy yourself time. That was really smart thinking. Couldn't have done it better myself."
I'm silent for a moment, my mouth opening in awe until it curls up into a smile. Orri, the fabled alpha warrior, was proud of me ? "I didn't do much," I shrugged, my cheeks red. "I only remembered a little, but I knew I couldn't take him down myself, so I had to find something that could."
His hands run up and down my back protectively. He purrs the words in my ear, making me squirm. "You were so brave back there, Isabella. And I'm so proud of you for facing the dactyls alone like that. Even we usually don't approach them without backup."
My heart swells with pride at the thought.
Orri clears his throat. "I was actually, um, hoping to find you for a different reason. Before I realized you were gone, that is."
"Oh?" That part I hadn't expected. It seems so long ago now, that fateful argument that split us in two. What made him change his mind?
"I had a little chat with one of my colleagues. He also happens to be a very good friend. Or was.” Orri pauses, shifting in the saddle. "He's also Zannah's brother."
"What happened?"
Orri snorts. "Let's just say he made me realize how blind I was." He shakes his head and pulls me closer. "He reminded me of what's really important."
"And what's that?" I think I know what he's talking about, but I still want to hear him say it.
"Not giving up on things — or people — that mean the world to me." He lowers his head to kiss the nape of my neck. "And that just because I lost someone doesn't mean I'm never allowed to feel happy again. He made me realize that I can have both."
At his words, the pieces fall into place. Something shifts and clicks inside of me, as well. The feelings for Bjornick I had were real. No, they are real. He'll always have a special place in my heart. But that doesn't undo or minimize the way I feel about Orri, either. We've both been through so much. We both have our baggage and our broken hearts, but when we're together, it feels like maybe there's hope for me after all.
And as he describes his conversation with Ulfar, I realize that maybe this is just what I needed as well. Closure. Permission. And the comfort of knowing that wherever he is now, that Bjornick would look down on me and smile, for having the bravery and the heart to continue to chase my dreams.
I lean back into him, smiling and letting my eyes flutter closed. For the first time in what feels like forever, I'm at peace. I'm safe. And I don't know where life will lead me next, but I know that I want to have Orri by my side.
He presses his face into my hair, scenting me deeply and letting out a deep groan. I can't blame him — even without the influence of the hormones, the scent of him makes me feel sleepy and sexy all at the same time. But then he tenses against me, sniffing again. Deeper. His arms tighten around me and my heart skips a beat.
Did I smell or something? Roughing it through the jungle and nearly getting trampled by a dactyl herd wasn't exactly the cleanest thing I'd ever done. But no, there wasn't a look of disgust on his face. It was almost...awe?
"Your scent," Orri rumbles, his voice deep and husky in a way that makes my toes curl. "It's different. Are you..."
And then I realize what he's talking about. When Adik first said something about it, I thought maybe he was trying to play with my head. Make me afraid, even if there was nothing there. But as his fingers intertwine with mine and I place his hand over my belly, both of us feel a strange shock. Like touching metal and feeling a spark, the touch of my mate's hand upon my belly triggers something within me.
It's early — much too early — to be feeling anything down there, but I swear I can feel a flutter, deep down inside. A greeting, almost. A preview of what's to come.
"I don't know for sure," I say breathlessly, my voice cracking. "I didn't think anything about it and then Adik said something, and it all made sense..." My voice trails off. That feels so very far away now. Was that what they'd been trying to check on the lab tests at the center? There was only one way to find out.
"Fuck." Orri grunts, holding me tighter than ever. He digs his heels into the side of his mount and we pick up speed, the air rushing through my dark hair and sending it flying out behind me in loose waves.
"Is that a good thing?" I venture. Thought after thought piles into my mind. When I signed up for the surrogacy program, I knew it involved having a baby, but at the time that was no more than an abstract concept. A means to an end to get me off planet and to a safe haven, far away from my abuser.
So much had changed since then. Now that the possibility was here in front of me, I found the idea...exhilarating.
No, I realize as we bound toward the center. More than that. With Orri here at my side, the soft pink glow of sunset, and the tall grasses swaying around us, it feels right . No longer do I have to worry about looking over my shoulder. No longer do I have to wonder what if, to watch others live their lives as mine passes me by.
I have a mate, and a home, and a family. And soon...if all goes according to plan...the blessing of a child.
"It's a very good thing," Orri promises me, kissing and nipping at the sides of my neck and my ears. I squirm and gasp against him as the village draws back into view. "You're coming home with me, Isabella. For good this time."
As I relax into his embrace and let the fear and stress fade away into a calm, comfortable peace, I know there's nowhere I'd rather be.