Our Deceptive Heat (When it Raines Omegaverse #3)

4. Ryn

Chapter four

Ryn

Two Years later

The magic lie I tell myself is that you love me in the dark- Ryn Raines

Tyr picks me up by the waist and spins me around. His smile is as wide as mine. I curl my fingers in his shirt as I laugh, feeding off the joy of the pack.

“FUCK!! We did it!”

I laugh and hug him as he slides me down his body. “I’m so fucking proud of you guys!”

“It’s all thanks to you,” Mako says and leans down to kiss my cheek.

I beam at him and spin to face Envy. “Congratulations.”

He steps towards me, cups my cheeks, and smiles. I can’t deny how fast my heart races or the fact that I’ve had this dream a million and one times. Kiss me. Kiss me, please, I’ll beg. I’ll get on my knees, but put me out of my misery and press those lips to mine.

He kisses my forehead. “You’re our unicorn.”

I whimper, but the sound is lost in the roaring cheer that is Digs. He has a bottle of booze and presses it into my hands.

“Drink, unicorn.”

I shake my head, but he lifts it to my lips and with a laugh, I open my mouth and swallow.

The bitter liquid sets my stomach on fire, but it quickly turns into a warmth that takes the chill out of the dark night .

Mako puts on some music and pulls me into his arms, dancing with me. I look up at his familiar face. I dream about him at night, doing things the real him would never do.

“Do you know it’s our anniversary today?”

“It is?” I ask, pretending not to know. Of course, I knew.

“Three years we’ve been working together.”

“Three years we’ve been friends,” I add.

And I love you.

“It’s been amazing.”

“It’s been incredible,” he counters.

He lifts me up and laughs as my feet go flying out. “Unicorn, you’re the magic in our life. We’re never letting you go.”

He’s saying all the right words with all the wrong meaning behind them.

I stay, and we drink. We celebrate. Locke comes over, and Lia, and we party long into the midnight hours.

I wake up slowly.

I’m warm, and there’s something heavy over my waist. I lay there for a moment. Memories flash through my mind. Tears well in my eyes, grief and shame burning through me.

I can’t do this anymore.

I sit up and realise its Digs huge arm weighing me down. I push it off and turn, only to find Tyr on the other side. My stomach lurches from the alcohol and from the broken heart I’m now carrying.

The pale light means it’s dawn.

I stare down at Tyr’s beautiful face. I can’t stay here and do this anymore. It’s killing me, and if I stay, I’m going to ruin it, like I almost did last night, except I’d ruin more than just me.

I might ruin them.

I realise that there’s a line between friends like us. It’s called the self-preservation line.

It’s time to save myself, and in doing that, maybe I might save them.

But my plan? I’ll find another way. I have to.

The magnitude of what I’m giving up stuns me. Am I really prepared to put myself at my father’s mercy just to save their pack?

Yes.

My resolve firms and hardens.

I just wish I could see Envy and Mako once more. Instead, I silently go and gather all my belongings. All my notebooks, my clothes. I leave nothing behind .

I pause at the door to the hotel, looking at the sleeping alphas who have turned my entire life upside down.

They have nowhere to go but up. If they stay with me, I’ll just drag them down. This is the right thing to do.

In the lift, I find a video message from Lia. I watch a portion of last night, the Fate pack laughing and celebrating, but all I can see is me staring at them with my heart in my eyes.

Not one of them looks my way.

That’s just the proof I need.

I pause in the lobby, pulling my phone out again and calling a driver to come and get me.

For the first time in my life, I don’t know where to go. All I know is that it’s over.

Last night slams into me again, and I press my fist to my mouth, holding back a sob. I really fucked everything up.

They’re better off without me.

12 Months Later

Every time they call, I decline it. I read the emails and send them to be answered in the barest sentences by my assistant. I’m out when they come calling and no one knows where I am. I shut down all lines of communication, and I rip my heart into a million pieces.

I am ruthless. For them, I am the destroyer of my world.

For a whole year, I am nothing but a ghost of who I was. A shimmering shade of Auryn Raines. There is no laughter, no happiness. The songs I play when I’m alone in my house break my heart. I don’t enjoy the taste of food, alcohol just brings the memories on, and company is miserable.

I loathe myself.

But I keep making my plans, coming up with new ones to help me escape the ever-increasing attention of my father. If worse comes to worst, I’ll run to Kelly and pray my cousin has the strength to save me from him.

I am a ghost to Fate’s Choice. It’s a cowardly act, but I don’t have the strength to turn them down. I don’t have the strength to keep this resolve.

Because I love them.

Because I can’t have them .

We all keep too many secrets, and I can’t afford for my secret to come out. And that pack makes me weak.

One year. Three hundred and sixty-five days of a mundane grey world that is so tedious and boring, I wonder what I’m even doing here.

I exist for one year in hell.

Until, like a dark rider on a horse of vengeance, they come calling with a demand I can’t refuse. Because I owe them. And I can’t say no now anymore than I could back then.

In the rain, I stare at the ghost, his eyes ablaze with gold determination, with fury, refusing to leave, refusing to go without me. The silver of the world and the sound of the rain helps to make us feel like we’re all alone.

But he’s bleeding colour into my world. He’s broken through the shell of numbness. Now I can feel. He’s infecting me with all the things I’d locked away. Why couldn’t he stay away? I knew they’d come, eventually. I’ve been waiting. They would never give up so easily.

But why now?

Their relentless attacks have finally unveiled my location, and the power they have over me brings me to my knees.

It hurts.

It hurts so bad.

I don’t want this.

I never healed, and I never moved on.

I’ve dreaded this moment and yearned for it. My phone rings, and I look down to see Lia’s name. The press have been all over the Raines for weeks now. Bethany has returned with a pack that the press is calling Saint Crow. Her return has led to the press hounding Kelly and pouring hours of speculation on why Raider is off his game. Locke leaving Derision hasn’t helped, and though we are the only ones who know, him finally revealing the horror he’s been suffering has changed everything. We aren’t innocent anymore, not that I think we ever were.

Lia and the Mirakill MC finally managed to get their asses into gear and have become a pack, and when she sat down and told me about her mum, I held her, and we cried for hours. The press is calling her the Outlaw Raines, and I love those bikers so fucking much for saving her. And then to add fuel to the fire, Bailey, our newest Raines, Lia’s baby brother, is throwing down and stirring up the Raines clan like a kid using a stick to hit a hornet’s nest.

And I’ve been doing my best to avoid this moment, knowing I can’t outrun it forever, but trying. So hard. It has to happen. It was coming.

Still, I’m not ready .

But this is the start of the end for me. My ultimate play. If I fall, my father will bury me with a pack, and everything about me will fade until I, too, perish.

But if Fate’s Choice force me to do this, I will have no choice but to continue my plan and risk ruining us all.

“You look well,” I say quietly. Everything I planned for leads me back to this moment.

“Get in the fucking car, Beta Raines. We have a contract to discuss.”

I incline my head, following Tyr and his frosty tones to their black SUV. I climb in, noting the scents I thought I’d remembered perfectly are stronger and more intense than my memory allows for.

Time to face the piper.

And try to survive.