Chapter Six
Six
We approach the group of our fellow hikers standing under the motel sign with weary smiles as Caleb takes his glasses off and tries to wipe them free of water. He does this even though it is still pouring rain. I wonder if it would be rude to point out the awning less than ten feet away that could probably offer shelter to our group. Surely they’ve noticed it and they’re choosing the rain, right? And if so, why ?
“Welcome!” Helen says cheerily as we approach. I recognize her from the times I visited Win while she was working as a lifeguard over the summer a few years ago. Helen is white, though her skin is tanned in a way that suggests she spends a lot of time outside and probably drinks kombucha—an inner-peace and good-health sort of glow. Her hair, or the part of her hair that I can see from under her clear plastic poncho, seems to be chopped short with strands of silver and gray among the black. She’s got wrinkles around her eyes and the tips of her smile, and a quiet confidence about her that reminds me of Win. Under her poncho she’s wearing a teal pullover sweater with white quilted patches and black nylon pants with several large pockets down the side of each leg. “Hello, hello! You must be Caleb and Sierra.”
“Close! It’s Sarah,” I say, projecting my voice over the sound of cars speeding past on the highway and the slosh of water under their tires. I smile softly, readjusting my coat’s hood for more coverage as lightning strikes nearby. Caleb places his glasses back on, no less wet than before, then nods politely toward the rest of the group. I watch his resolve give way as the rain floods his vision and he loses contact with the outside world.
“Right, Sarah, of course, sorry,” Helen replies. “Caleb and Sarah, ” she says, overly enunciating my name, “I’m Helen.” She puts her palm on her chest, pausing as she bows her head slightly and smiles. “Honored to meet you both.”
Extending her hand out to her left, Helen begins introducing us to the three other couples. “We’re a smaller group this year, but a good one. These are your fellow hikers, Maggie and Phil, Jai and Nina, and Henry and Kieran. And this,” she says, throwing her arm over the shoulders of the child next to her, “is Libby.” Libby is so bundled up under a black, puffy raincoat that I can only see her mouth, nose, and eyes. She’s pale with freckles like my own, and her eyebrows are so fair they’re nearly nonexistent. She does not look pleased to be here. “My granddaughter,” Helen explains. “My wife is wandering around nearby, pleading with Mother Nature to stop the rain.”
Caleb and I both chuckle, but no one else does. Noted…
“Well, now that we’re all here we should probably get going. I’ll go fetch Yvonne,” Helen says, looking at her watch. “Come with me, Lib,” she adds as she walks away, gesturing for Libby to follow behind her. The young girl sighs, her shoulders falling as she stomps after Helen.
“First time?” Phil, if I’m remembering his name correctly, asks, looking between Caleb and me. Phil’s eyes hold on Caleb as he removes his glasses again, and Phil grins as he scratches his white goatee. If I had to guess, Phil, in his younger years, was probably a football player. He comically towers over the rest of us. His broad shoulders and deep, deep voice only add to his friendly larger-than-life aura.
“Is it that obvious?” I ask, wincing as I realize that they’re all similarly dressed—specifically noting the waterproof nylon pants they’re all wearing—in contrast to my leggings that are already drenched, and Caleb’s…that fucker! He’s got the fancy-pantstoo.
The woman next to him, Maggie, waves me off. “We’ve been coming for years, and we haven’t met you two yet, that’s all.” Maggie’s skin is a dark, rich brown, the same as her husband’s, but she also has patches of depigmented skin on her cheek and forehead that are a paler cream color. If I remember correctly from a Vogue article a few months back, it’s called vitiligo. She’s strikingly beautiful, and, if I had to guess, probably in her early fifties.
“Right.”
Caleb quietly moves to wrap his arm around my hips, pulling me closer to him. It’s unexpected, but not totally surprising. He’s far less extroverted than I am, and often seeks out touch for comfort. I like that I can offer him that, even still.
“It’s good to meet you both,” I say, leaning into Caleb’s hold, threading my thumb through the belt loop on his pants. “All of you,” I add, smiling subtly at each stranger around the circle.
Next to Maggie and Phil is a couple closer to our age, or perhaps a bit younger, who appear to be silently arguing with each other with exchanged dagger-sharp side glances, crossed arms, and clenched jaws. I decide it’s probably best to not approach them at the moment.
“Sorry, I missed your names,” Caleb says directly to the surly couple. “Was it Jai and…?”
Let it be known that Caleb, bless his sweet soul, has never once read a room.
“Nina,” the woman answers, forcing her agitated expression away for a second to offer Caleb and me a polite, tight-lipped smile. Nina is a brunette with the kind of bone structure people spend thousands of dollars to mimic and few actually achieve—striking cheekbones and a perfect, straight nose. Her eyebrows are bushy in that fashionable way and her skin is buttery and tanned and blemish-free. She’s tall and slender, probably just under six feet, standing at the same height as her partner.
“Have you also done this before?” Caleb asks, gesturing between them. Nina turns to Jai, wearing an expression that tells me Caleb has just stepped on a land mine.
Jai smiles arrogantly, staring straight ahead and successfully avoiding eye contact with his…girlfriend? Fiancée? I don’t see a ring on either of them. Jai is classically beautiful—tall, dark, and handsome. He has warm, reddish-brown skin, black hair, and his appearance is expertly manicured. His stubble perfectly trimmed, his eyebrows tidy, his teeth shining brighter than Heaven’s gates.
“I have, yeah,” Jai answers in an unexpectedly thick British accent. God, where did Helen and Yvonne find these two? A hot-people-r-us catalog? They must have come straight here from a magazine shoot with their gorgeous faces and perfect bodies and then you throw in a Peaky-Blinders-esque accent? My jealousy continues to increase as my husband continues to stick his foot directly into his mouth.
“So, you’ve come here before but…” Caleb twists his head, looking at me in confusion. I blink up at him in a way that I hope communicates: Stop digging yourself a deeper hole and do not try to hand me a shovel.
Nina laughs dryly. It’s a sarcastic sound that is punctuated by an exclamation mark and serves as a warning. “I found out about an hour ago that Jai brought his fiancée on this trip last year. Oh, and that he had been engaged too—which he never bothered to tell me before now.” Nina answers, smiling sweetly in a way that makes me fearful. “But no, I haven’t been here before.”
“Oh, nice,” Caleb says, then immediately shakes his head, chastising himself. “Well, not nice but—”
“For what it’s worth, Nina, none of us thought they’d last,” Kieran interrupts, throwing something from his pocket into his mouth and cracking it between his teeth. Kieran is shorter than the rest of us and is probably in his late thirties or early forties. He’s got lip and eyebrow piercings, both neon blue, black short hair, and a cheeky grin that seems to be his resting expression.
“Yeah, they were not a good fit,” adds Kieran’s husband, Henry, taking a sip from a canteen with steam pouring out the top. He attempts to pass the thermos to Kieran, but he snubs it. Henry is just a few inches taller than his husband, and his auburn hair is tied neatly into two braids that fall to his collarbone. “We all said so,” Henry says, looking toward Maggie with a lopsided, expectant grin. “Didn’t we?”
Nina bends forward, looking around Jai to see Phil and Maggie, who are busy looking at their shoes and then the muddy puddle in the center of our circle, and then the sky, and then just about anywhere and everywhere else.
“Help me out, big man,” Jai says to Phil, nudging him with his elbow.
“It is none of our business,” Maggie replies, patting her husband’s chest just as he opens his mouth to speak. “Right?” She looks at me for some reason, so I nod, shrugging my shoulders.
When the others look away from Maggie, and Nina and Jai start bickering with each other just above a whisper, she shakes her head at me, smiling in a way that makes me feel like one of the gang. Which is nice, considering all these people, other than Nina, have already met.
Caleb presses his chin to the space behind my ear and whispers, “I don’t want to jinx it…but I think we have a shot at winning this.”
I huff a laugh, glancing up at him. “It’s not a competition,” I whisper, biting my lip to stop my smile from growing. Our eyes meet playfully and the creases on either side of his eyes deepen with a smile of his own.
“It’s not?”
“No!”
“But if it was?” he asks, his tongue darting out between his lips, his eyes fixed on my mouth.
“Then…I would say we have a fair shot. Phil and Maggie will be tough to take down, though…” I say, looking toward them as they make lovey-eyes at each other, giggling about something. “They seem solid.”
The sun appears from behind a dark storm cloud, making all of us look up to the sky. Then, the rain abruptly stops. “Huh…would you look at that. Go, Yvonne,” Caleb says, nodding approvingly.
“I have a feeling it’s going to be a very strange week,” I reply, looking up to the sky, then around the circle at each of our new acquaintances.
“It’ll be good,” Caleb says, lowering my hood and tucking a wet strand of hair behind my ear.
“Yeah?” I ask, my voice smaller than I’d expected.
“Yeah,” he says, stepping back to unzip his jacket. “It’ll take me a minute to warm up to everyone, but the way they all tease each other reminds me of home.” I snort a breathy laugh as Caleb removes his outer layer. His athletic shirt underneath is dry, but skin-tight. I unconsciously bite my lip, admiring him. It really has been awhile since I raked my teeth across his stomach and kissed my way further down…. Thank god for Win’s baby wipes suggestion.
“Remind me to put our tent up far away from you two,” Kieran says loudly, interrupting my trail of dirty thoughts.
“Now, now, don’t go forgetting Reignite’s evil golden rule,” Henry singsongs, wagging a finger at us. I have zero idea as to what he’s talking about.
“Fuck,” Jai grumbles, itching above his eyebrow. “Forgot about that.”
“Something else you didn’t share?” Nina says, tilting her head toward Jai.
“They’ll go over all the rules later, and there aren’t many,” Phil says, looking between Nina and Caleb and me. “But I believe what Kieran is referring to is the abstinence agreement.”
“Abstinence? I haven’t heard that word since prom night,” I say, as Caleb lowers to unzip his backpack resting on the ground in front of him. Surely, they cannot be serious.
“What sort of agreement?” Caleb asks, folding his jacket to fit inside its small, waterproof carrier bag.
“No sex,” Kieran says. “It apparently helps us focus on other kinds of intimacy.”
Caleb freezes, mid-fold.
“Personally, I find that other kinds of intimacy are overrated,” Jai says, crossing his arms across his chest. “I do my best talking with my lips and hips.”
Nina squints at him, her expression dumbfounded. “Everyone talks with their lips, you buffoon.”
“Careful, darling. You know I like it when you’re mean,” Jaisends air-kisses toward her and she turns away, glaring even still.
Caleb stands, leans toward me and mouths, “Did you know about that?”
I shake my head. “But it wouldn’t be the first time we broke a rule,” I whisper with a wink.
“Here they are. Finally,” Maggie says.
Approaching us is a willowy-framed, gray-haired woman with Libby and Helen trailing behind her. She’s wearing a white shirt, loose-fitting blue-linen pants, and enough bracelets to start her own foundry. She floats toward us, her eyes scanning all of us with a watchful regard that leaves me uneasy. “Thank you for waiting,” she says, her voice lower than I’d expected, and each word is drawn out as if she’s never once been in a hurry. Just like Jai, she’s British, but her accent is smoother than his, with a posher lilt to it. “Best to wait for better weather though, wouldn’t you agree?” she adds, turning toward Nina. “You must be Nina.” Yvonne’s lips purse together as she admires her. “Hello.”
Caleb and I exchange a subtle what-the-fuck look as she bows at the waist.
“Hi,” Nina says, extending the same tight-lipped smile she’d given Caleb and me.
“And you must be Sarah and Caleb,” Yvonne says, slowly turning to face us. It’s then that I realize Yvonne is not wearing any shoes. I blindly reach for Caleb, and grip tightly onto his arm as I suppress a shudder, imagining her toes squelching into the muddy earth around us.
“Hiya,” I say, attempting to sound casual. “Yes, that’s right,” I add. I’ve never once said hiya in my entire life.
“Good to meet you,” Caleb says, his voice audibly strained.
Yvonne smiles knowingly, her eyes held where our bodies are joined. “Well, welcome,” she says, then purses her lips as she continues observing us.
I don’t like the way her large, eerily blue eyes take us in. It’s as if she’s seeing the past, present, and future. Maybe this woman is a witch. The rain did stop, after all. I drop Caleb’s hand, moving both arms over my stomach. Which, of course, she notices, her eyes narrowing.
“All right…Well,” Helen says, her eyes darting between Yvonne and me. “Welcome to Reignite!” Helen claps her hands together and Libby sidesteps further away from her grandmother as Yvonne falls in step next to her. “We are so thrilled you all decided to join us this year whether it’s your tenth time with us or your very first. Yvonne and I began Reignite to help couples spend intentional time together, away from life’s distractions. We believe that there is no better place to reconnect with ourselves and our partner than in the glory of nature. We accept everyone here, wherever they’re at in their healing journey. We extend grace and consideration for you all and we ask that you do the same for one another and us as well.”
“This will be our eleventh year leading this retreat,” Yvonne says, “but this year will look a tiny bit different. As some of you may know from our blog, my daughter…” Yvonne’s voice falls away for just a second as she seems to gather herself. “My daughter passed earlier this year. Helen and I now have the honor of raising our granddaughter, Libby. As you have probably guessed by now, she will be joining us this week.”
I look at Libby, who cannot be much older than nine or ten, and feel my heart twist tightly. I was double her age when my mom passed, and it’s almost completely derailed my life. I can’t help but wonder how it will affect hers.
Caleb squeezes my hand twice in quick succession. When I turn to look up at him, he searches my face. “You okay?” he mouths.
I nod weakly, but even still, he brings the back of my hand to his mouth and kisses across my knuckles.
“Welcome Libby!” Phil says brightly. “I’m glad there will finally be someone here with the same maturity level as me,” he teases. Libby doesn’t so much as look in his direction.
“Because of that, we will be taking it a bit easier and stopping for rests whenever necessary. As always, we travel as a group. If one of us needs a break, we will all stop. And just like the rest of our practices—there will be a zero-tolerance policy for shaming or judgmental remarks. Libby and I will be having adventures of our own, ahead of the group, when possible,” Helen adds, smiling softly at the scowling little girl. “So, there’s no need to censor your conversations.”
“Well thank fuck for that,” Jai says, smirking. I watch as Libby’s armor falls away for half a second, a small grin visible, fighting to grow from the corner of her mouth.
Helen takes a centering breath, smiling blankly toward Jai, and then the ground. “Well, that’s it for now. We will discuss more tonight over dinner once we make camp.”
“How long is the first hike?” Henry asks, lowering into a lunge.
“About fifteen kilometers.”
“Holy mother of god,” Caleb’s voice trembles, barely above a whisper.
My eyes flash at him in panic. “That’s like what? An hour?” I ask loudly, looking around for assistance. “Right?” I squeak.
“Closer to three, maybe more,” Helen answers matter-of-factly.
“We’re going to die,” Caleb says for my ears only.
I turn to him, whispering hoarsely. “We haven’t prepared for this at all. I don’t even know where my gym membership card is…Do I even have a card? Is it digital now? Has it expired?”
“I take back what I said, we’re absolutely not going to win.” He turns his body to face mine, our boots nearly touching when he bends to catch my eyes. “Are you absolutely sure you want to do this?”
“We’re not even allowed our phones,” I say, distantly. “Who can exercise that long without listening to music?”
“Sociopaths,” Caleb says, looking suspiciously over my shoulder at the group.
“I suppose it’s not too late for us to leave,” I say, only half joking. “But…”
Caleb takes a deep breath in, surveying the landscape around us. Then he shakes his head, wearing an expression of stubborn pride. “No. Fuck that. We’re Linwoods,” he says, raising his chin with performative confidence. He then pushes his glasses up his nose, which, truthfully, lessens the effect somewhat. But still, the sentiment is sweet.
“Yeah,” I agree halfheartedly, as if our last name truly carries any weight, and then present my fist to bump with his. Instead, he grabs my wrist and tugs me toward him so our chests collide.
“We’ve got this,” he whispers, lowering his lips to mine. He kisses me fiercely, which is very much unlike Caleb while in the company of near-perfect strangers. His lips engulf mine as his thumb strokes the side of my face, his fingertips pressing against my jaw with delicious pressure that’s removed too soon. “Right?” he asks, pulling back.
“Yeah…” We’re definitely going to die.
“Oi-oi,” Jai says, before I have the chance to turn back toward the group. “The newbies are getting hot and heavy,” he adds, grinning as he bends into a stretch with his body arching toward us.
“We should probably do that too,” Caleb says matter-of-factly, shucking off his backpack.
“Shit, probably,” I say, attempting to drop into a forward bend, copying Nina’s positioning and posture without her natural poise.
I laugh so hard that I snort as my legs start to burn and quake, nearly giving out. Caleb laughs too, purposefully exaggerating hisgrunts and moans as he stretches for my benefit. And damn itfeels good to laugh with him like this. Even if we are truly fucked.