Out of the Woods

Chapter Sixteen

Sixteen

The afternoon fades away as we write down every thought that comes to mind for what we’d like the next stage of our married life to look like. Items on the list vary from quite serious—we want to find a therapist back home for monthly, if not more frequent, sessions as a couple and individually as well—to somewhat silly. For example, Caleb wants to find his signature uniform à la Steve Jobs’s black turtleneck, whereas I want to burn every turtleneck that could ever potentially enter our home.

Overall, it’s good.

It’s so good.

It’s more than good. It’s great.

Great to be on the same page. Great to laugh together. Great to romanticize a quiet, less busy, more present life. Great to imagine a future that prioritizes connection over profit and communication over avoiding conflict. Great to be together without distraction.

It’s a type of comfort that serves as a relief and a reminder. We’re going to be okay, and we have been before.

“God…I love you,” Caleb says, his voice breathy as he winds down from a fit of laughter, reacting to my ridiculous suggestions for names we could give our dog.

I feel myself blush from his confession, which is so asinine. But I cover my smile all the same. “I love you too,” I say, rolling my eyes. “Are we going to be this lovey-dovey from now on? It’s freaking me out.”

“You like it,” Caleb says, a crooked grin in full, destabilizing force. “And I like you.”

“I like you too,” I say in my best teenager tone as I smile brightly at him. A bird above us sings out, and with a quick glance to the sky I realize we’ve been away from camp for at least a few hours now and the afternoon sun has cooled to a pink and golden evening sky. “Should we be getting back?”

“Do we have to?” Caleb asks, his smile fading slightly.

“The bugs will be awful soon.”

“Ah, yes. They attack at dusk,” Caleb concludes dramatically. “But what about your reward?” He waggles his eyebrows suggestively, the same way I frequently do. Dork.

I fight the smile as he plays right into my hands. “Oh, that, right. Nah. Moment’s passed.” I make my way to stand, then shake off the debris that has stuck to my towel with a flourish. “You were right, rules are there for a reason. I mean, just look at how productive we were,” I say sweetly.

Caleb eyes me suspiciously. “Glad we’re on the same page then.” He nods, then stands as well—crossing his arms and squaring his body off with mine as he stands on top of his towel. “Okay, trouble,” he says, with a devious smile. “Let’s get you back to camp.”

“Don’t even think about holding my hand on the walk back, Linwood…We all know handholding is a gateway aphrodisiac.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he quips back, picking up his towel.

“If I trip, don’t help me up. Even if I’m hanging off a cliff, don’t offer your hand.”

“Of course not,” he says, brows furrowed as he folds his towel over his arm. “I wouldn’t dare.”

“Good,” I say, shrugging one shoulder as I finish bunching up my towel and toss it over my shoulder.

“After you.” He holds out a hand toward the path. “Lead the way.”

“Don’t think for a second that I don’t know letting me walk in front is simply a ploy to look at my ass,” I say, walking ahead with a purposeful sultry sway.

“I plan on switching between your hips and your ass.”

I make a point to hike up my bikini bottoms before I bend over to pick up my discarded clothes. I’d eagerly ditched my T-shirt and shorts as soon as the water came into view from the path earlier…but I don’t think I’ll put them back on just yet. I will, however, take my sweet time bent over to retrieve and fold them nicely.

“Cruel woman,” my husband grumbles from behind me. I don’t even know what game we’re playing at this point, or which team I’m on, but I do know that it’s fun either way.

We make it up the rocky, steep path that leads down to the water and onto more even ground.

“Left; right,” Caleb half speaks, half sighs torturedly, keeping time with the sway of my hips. “Left; right,” he repeats a few more times until I laugh. “So; hot,” he says in rhythm. “Kill; me.”

I turn around to wink at him, but in doing so I miss my next step and trip over a rock, falling ungracefully to the dirt with a groan and a stinged hiss.

“Shit,” Caleb says, appearing at my side.

I roll onto my back, my ass cheeks punctured by the gravel below. When I open my eyes, he’s looking down at me, trying not to look too pleased. “I fell,” I explain, in case he missed it.

“Oh?” he asks, scanning me head to toe, then focusing on my knee—which I can already tell is pretty banged up without having looked yet. “I thought you were taking an oddly located rest.”

“Is it bleeding?” I ask.

“Yeah, a little,” he answers, locking eyes with mine as he scratches the top of his head. “Don’t look, okay?”

Caleb knows that I hate the sight of blood. Mine or anyone else’s. Win had a nosebleed in the summer between eighth and ninth grade and she still holds it over my head that I nearly passed out at the sight of her. Apparently, she’d never seen a human turn green with nausea before then. She had a red snot bubble for fuck’s sake…whose stomach wouldn’t turn at that? No, I can’t think of it right now. I refuse to throw up. I will not let these woods get every possible bodily fluid from me.

“All right,” Caleb says, ripping off his T-shirt. “Give me a second.”

“That’s very sweet, love, but I don’t think a striptease is exactly what I need right now,” I say, consciously trying to avoid looking down. He levels me with an amused but stern stare before he bends to one knee in front of me. I turn my face up toward the sky to avoid seeing what he’s doing with my leg as he twists it to and fro in his hands.

“It’s not that bad, I promise,” he says, lifting my thigh with a grip and placing my ankle across his bent knee.

“What if a bear smells the blood and hunts us down?” I say. “You should save yourself.”

“I believe you’re thinking of sharks, not bears. Neither of which are on this trail.”

“Everyone keeps saying that there are no bears here but that just doesn’t make any fucking sense to me. How could we possibly know where all the bears are?” I ask, throwing my arms out to the side as if I’m going to attempt a snow angel. “They’re wild animals, for fuck’s sake! They can be anywhere they damn well please and I’m pretty sure they don’t have to register their location.” I feel the soft cotton of Caleb’s shirt against the back of my thigh and then he ties it, like a giant Band-Aid, across my knee. “Well, Doc?”

“I don’t know how they track bears; I’ve not really thought about it that much.”

“Not the bears, the leg. Is it okay?”

“Oh…yeah, all good to go. Can I offer you help to stand or were you serious before about not touching even if you eat shit?”

“I didn’t eat shit,” I say, holding out my hand for him to take hold. He pulls me to stand, and I try to put weight on my knee before a quick sting of pain runs through me. “And, I was obviously joking,” I say, leaning on him as I squint my eyes toward the direction of camp. “How far is it?” I ask. “Ten minutes?”

“About that.”

“All right…” I say, wiping dirt off the back of my legs and butt. “I’ll hobble.” I nod at him like a soldier taking orders.

He rolls his eyes in response, immediately bending down to quite literally sweep me off my feet.

I’m woman enough to admit that the noise that came out of my mouth in response was deeply embarrassing, entirely involuntary, and downright orgasmic. I’d be mortified if I wasn’t only able to focus on the warmth and firmness of his grip on the backs of my thighs instead.

Caleb raises a brow at me, tucking me against his chest as if I am an overgrown baby. “What was that ?” he asks in a disturbed, yet comical tone. “Did you just…fawn? Isn’t that how they describe it in your books? Or wait, no, it’s—”

“Swoon,” I answer curtly before pushing my lips together, afraid of what other sounds could escape past them. “I swooned,” I add excitedly, then shut my mouth tight before another giggle has the chance to fall out. It’s not my fault, dammit! There is a shirtless, hairy lumberjack carrying me through the woods who distinctly resembles my husband. It’s like seven of my favorite horny book scenes all rolled into one. I am wetter than the bottom of a canoe right now.

Caleb lifts his chin, his lips curled into an upside-down smile. If I could translate the look I’d say it is something along the lines of: I’ve still got it.

And yes, he most certainly does.

“You okay?” he asks, his voice a touch too strained for my liking as he adjusts his hold. I am not light as a feather by any means but show me a lady who wants to hear her man groan when he lifts her, and I will show you a liar.

I nod slowly, my dopey smile spreading wider across my face as I choose to ignore the sounds of him hauling me like a yoked mule. “Loving the view,” I say.

“Well, that’s good. I did mean your knee, though.”

“Right, no, that hurts like hell.” Honestly, it’s not that bad…But I’d have to be an idiot to shut this down and my mother didn’t raise a fool. I hope.

“All right,” Caleb mumbles, turning sideways as he guides us through a narrow passage between trees. He turns a little bit too early after passing through and, in doing so, my head whacks the side of a bush. “Shit, sorry…”

“It’s fine, I needed a reason to brush my hair,” I say, laughing softly. “Would it be better if we did a piggyback sort of situation?” I ask a few minutes later when I barely avoid getting sideswept by a low-hanging branch. “This is romantic and all, but I would like to keep my face intact.”

“We’re almost there,” he says, hoisting me up as we get onto the main trail.

“Hello, hello,” Jai’s familiar voice echoes from somewhere nearby. Caleb swings me around like a rag doll in his arms turning to find Jai. I always suspected that one of his bromances could cause my untimely death. But I had thought it would be Bo at the helm. “Oh, shit. What happened?”

“I fell,” I say, pouting dramatically. “Where’s Nina?” I ask. I haven’t seen that beautiful critter since last night and I miss her.

“Ah, she’s”—Jai waves a hand over his shoulder—“around here somewhere….”

I turn my head toward Caleb’s chest. “Suspicious,” I whisper.

“She’s probably using the bathroom and he’s being polite,” Caleb says quietly.

“There was a bathroom this whole time?” I ask sarcastically.

“You know what I meant,” Caleb fires back.

“Say it,” I grin mischievously. “Nina’s shitting in the woods.”

“You’re so fucking weird,” he says, though I notice he still smiles as he shakes his head.

“You know it’s off-putting when you two start whispering between yourselves,” Jai says in his usual, booming voice.

“Sorry,” we respond in near-perfect unison as we turn back toward him.

“All right, well…I’ll catch you later, ya?”

“Where’re you headed?” Caleb asks.

“There’s a bit of water down that way and…” Jai’s face scrunches to the side. “We’re gonna swim, I guess…I don’t know.” Jai licks his lips, swaying side to side, as a grin overtakes his features.

“They’re going to fuck at our swimming spot!” I gasp. “No! We were supposed to do that first!”

“I didn’t stop you,” Jai says defensively, laughing. “Gravity maybe did,” he says, pointing to my knee. “But not me.”

“No, he did,” I point up to Caleb flippantly. “He turned me down.”

“ He would like to remind you that he is carrying you right now,” Caleb mutters under his breath.

“Cay, bruv, that’s cold.”

“Has no one here heard of building anticipation?” Caleb asks, his voice pitching up. “The rules are in place for a reason!”

I stop myself from laughing at Caleb’s hint of a meltdown by biting down on my lips. Jai looks at him dumbfounded, if a little amused. “A’ight, well…I’m going to go ‘build anticipation’ that way with my missus and, er, you two have fun playing doctor, okay?”

“Have fun!” I shout over Caleb’s shoulder toward Jai. “It would be wrong to go watch them, right?”

“Yes,” Caleb says exasperatedly. “And I am not carrying you back there regardless.”

“He called her his missus, that’s cute.”

“I think it’s a British thing.”

“So? Still cute,” I say.

“Okay, missus.”

“Hmm, you’re right…It’s definitely a British thing.”

Caleb scoffs, but nothing seems to be wiping that smile off his face. Good, I think. Let’s keep it there forever. “Hey,” I say softly as we reach the clearing before camp. I watch the trees gently sway above his head as the sunlight once again casts him in a golden light. “Thank you. I love you.”

He stops, lowering me to stand on one leg with his arm firmly wrapped around my back, supporting my weight. He pulls me to his chest and tucks my hair back behind my shoulder then places his hand on the side of my neck, his thumb just under where my jaw meets my ear. “I love you too.”

God, I feel fifteen years old again. In more ways than one. In the giddy, excited, new beginning ways but also the begging-the-cute-guy-to-touch-me way that we’d had going on back then. “I’m just teasing about the rules, you know that, right?” I ask. “If you want to wait or—”

The words die on my lips as Caleb’s mouth finds mine in a kiss. His lips move feverishly against mine as he drags his hand up to my cheek, holding forcefully with his thumb on my cheekbone. He molds my face in his grasp, making me open my lips in tandem with the slide of his tongue against mine. I love it—being manipulated to let him in so he can steal my breath. His hand on my lower back tightens, not letting me fall as I balance on one leg, even though everything feels like it’s spinning with this heady, dizzying lust.

Then, he ends the kiss as shockingly abruptly as he started it.

“Understood?” he says, straightening to his full height so I can no longer reach his mouth. And it’s cruel, how I can’t strain to reach him or climb him like a tree right now.

“Yes, daddy. ”

His brow quirks, but he attempts to hide any sort of further reaction under a stern expression. “We have the rest of our lives to fuck each other’s brains out. I’m here to get your heart back first.” He lays his palm over my chest, right above my rapidly beating organ. “I know that your body is always mine but this, this is what I want most.”

It happens again. The humiliating, stupid, uncontrollable giggle of a woman clearly coming unglued. I cannot help it. I don’t even fight it this time. Because what the fuck?! Who is this bodice-ripper and what has he done with my soft-spoken, gentle, nerdy-ass husband?

“You’re insane if you think you’ve ever lost it,” I say, placing my hand over his. “All of me is and will always be yours.”

His smile unfurls slowly as his eyes linger on our hands. “Me too,” he says, his voice slightly choked.

I smile back at him, a warmth in our newfound understanding. A piece of comfort sliding back between us. The quietest reunion there has maybe ever been. I unbend my knee and put some weight on my right leg. It hurts, but not more than that first morning after day one’s hike. “Huh,” I say, looking down. “Would you look at that?” I fight back a grin. “All better.”

Caleb’s laugh tilts his face up to the sky, his smile the biggest I’ve ever seen.