Out of the Woods

Chapter Twenty-One Day Five of Reignite

Twenty-one

Day Five of Reignite

We started our hike bright and early this morning because it will be our longest yet. Less than an hour from now we will be at our final campsite of the week, which already feels like far more than a week’s worth of time. For the next two nights we will be sleeping in a conservation area not far from where our trip began. I, for one, am very excited for a shower. I am also really excited to sit to pee. It’s the little luxuries in life, ya know?

Things between Caleb and me have never been better. We stayed up late last night talking and reminiscing and everything felt so effortless, like it used to. We had a session with Yvonne and Helen where we went over our ten-year plan and I’m genuinely excited to get back home and begin the next phase of our life.

I feel stronger, both physically and mentally. I finally think that Caleb and I are on the same page. And, though I’m not quite ready to share this with anyone else just yet, I’m beginning to think that my mom would be proud of me. That she’d be able to see how hard I’m trying to make the most of the life she gave me, the time I’ve been granted.

Our group is split in half once again. Just like last time. My walking partners are Nina, Maggie, Helen, and Kieran.

“I cannot stop looking at you,” Nina says, smiling with her perfect teeth on show. “You’re beaming.”

I place my palm in front of my face, hiding my unshakable grin. It’s true, I’m in an obnoxiously good mood. “I can’t stop.” I let out a fluttery laugh. “I’m imagining the shower I’m going to have before bed tonight,” I say, half serious.

“Uh-huh, sure,” Kieran says, bumping his shoulder against mine. “Not at all because of the rule-breaking that you and Caleb snuck off to do yesterday.”

“Or this morning,” I whisper, flaring my eyes wide in Nina’s direction.

“Can we tell them now?” Maggie asks Kieran in a hushed tone over her shoulder. She’s using a long branch she’s found as a walking stick and is keeping pace next to Helen just ahead of us.

“I don’t have a stick to protect me, ” Kieran says dramatically. “You tell them!”

“Every damn year…” Helen mutters, shaking her head as it bows forward.

“What am I missing here?” I ask as we step off a rocky ledge and back onto the dirt path.

“Confession? There’s no abstinence rule,” Kieran says. “It’s sort of this hazing joke that Phil started with Henry and me two years back. Then we did it to Jai and—” He stops himself before mentioning Jai’s ex. “And now you three…”

I gawk at him, a disbelieving laugh breaking free. “You little shit!”

“I didn’t interfere because I do believe in allowing group dynamics, however, I will point out that no one ever asked Yvonne and me about it and we did not lie,” Helen says, looking over her shoulder briefly.

“Yeah, yeah, as if you don’t think it’s funny,” Maggie says teasingly.

“I never said it wasn’t funny…”

“I also have a confession,” Nina says to me, wincing playfully. “Jai sort of told me on day two.”

“And you—”

“I was sworn to secrecy! And it’s not like you guys actually waited!”

“A little forbidden fruit is always sweeter,” Maggie says, waggling her eyebrows in my direction.

“I knew I never liked you people,” I joke. “I cannot wait to tell Caleb, he’s going to short-circuit. And…” I say slowly, “I call dibs on lying to the new couples next year.”

“Permission granted. It’s a rite of passage,” Kieran says.

“Forgive me?” Nina whispers, her big eyes sucking me in like a cartoon deer’s.

“I—” Helen’s walkie-talkie siren goes off, interrupting me. It’s a rhythmic, high-pitched noise like a car alarm. It keeps going until Helen manages to remove her backpack and find it deep inside her bag. “Geez!” I shout, reeling back. “Does it have to be so loud?”

“They’re probably at camp by now, right?” Nina says, covering her ears. “Maybe they’re calling about our food orders.”

“Again, do we know for sure there is a camp store?” I ask. “Or is this wishful thinking?”

“There isn’t, and there is no way they’ve already made it there,” Kieran says, walking over to us as he checks his watch. “We’re probably another fifty minutes out and they’re less than thirty ahead.”

“Maybe they walked fast…” Nina says, her voice trailing off as we collectively turn toward Maggie and Helen, who exchange a worried glance as they dip their heads nearer to the walkie-talkie. Helen inserts a headphone jack and then there’s nothing but the subdued sound of a breeze passing through trees and the dirt grinding under Nina’s boots as she shifts her weight.

Something in my gut twists but I push it down, lift my bag up to bring my weight forward, and close the distance between me and the two women up ahead.

“What’s wrong?” I mouth to Maggie. She swallows, then reaches out to squeeze my forearm. I take her hand in mine when she offers it. “Maggie, what happened?” I say, out loud this time.

Helen holds up a finger, signaling for me to wait as she continues to listen, her expression fiercely concentrated.

“What did you hear?” I whisper, beginning to feel anxiety build in my chest, growing harder to ignore with each passing second of fearful expressions and weighted silence. Nina and Kieran approach cautiously, completing our circle around Helen.

“I-I…” Maggie stammers then rubs her lips together. “I just heard the words ‘accident’ and ‘ambulance’ and—”

“Is he conscious?” Helen asks, silencing all of us once again.

My heart drops, and my eyes instantly search and find Nina’s. I don’t want it to be Caleb as much as she doesn’t want it to be Jai, and our expressions say just that. I force myself to turn away from her and realize we’re all wrestling with the same problem. Kieran doesn’t want it to be Henry and it’s the same for Maggie with Phil. But it’s one of them. One of our men. One of our group.

At least it’s not Libby.

“I’m sure it’s all right,” Maggie whispers, reaching out for Nina’s hand, who reaches for Kieran’s but he shakes his head and steps away.

“We shouldn’t just be standing here,” he says, skittish and jumpy as he drags a hand down his face. “At the very least we should be trying to catch up to—”

“I’ll let her know. Right. Okay.”

Kieran blows out a breath of relief that I both understand and resent.

My grip on Maggie’s hand tightens. In all likelihood, it’s probably Phil. He’s older. It could just be a simple sprain or small fallor—

Helen lowers the walkie-talkie, clasps it on her belt, and turns to face me directly.

Fuck.

“ No, ” I whisper, shaking my head. “No,” I repeat, dread creeping in and tunneling my vision.

“All right,” she says softly, her expression pleading in a way that says You cannot lose your shit right now. “There’s been an accident. Libby fell through a footbridge and Caleb jumped in to help get her out. After he helped Libby up, he slipped and hit his head. Jai and Henry were able to get him out, but he did lose consciousness for a minute or two. He’s awake now, but groggy, and he has a head wound. Yvonne called rescue services and they dispatched before she called us, so we will need to move quickly if we want to get there in time for you to go with Caleb in the ambulance.”

“A-ambulance,” I repeat, nodding as nausea climbs up my throat, burning like bile. I drop Maggie’s hand and bring my palm up to my neck, feeling the throbbing of my heartbeat under my fingertips. I feel myself drift slightly outside of my body, as if one strong gust of wind could take me into the clouds away from my skin and bones.

Helen zips up her pack, hoists it on, and turns back toward me as she fastens it across her chest. “He’s awake now and he’s talking…” She says it to reassure me, but everything about Helen looks uneasy.

“I’m sure he’s okay,” Nina says quietly.

I nod eagerly, revealing the desperate way in which I need that to be true. We all start off, walking faster than we have all day. Nina stays close to my side as Maggie and Kieran fall behind us and Helen leads.

We move in stealthy silence with an unyielding urgency. I keep my mind focused on the next step, the horizon, the feeling of the blisters on my feet rubbing against my boots—opting to face a tangible, conquerable pain over the hypothetical. I wage war with my thoughts, recentering every time they drift to the worst-case scenario. With every step I push away all thinking and seal myself behind a steel-safe door.

I need to get to him, is the only thing I allow to reverberate against the walls of my emptied mind. I need to get to him, I need to get to him, I need to get to him.

Eventually I see Jai, standing at the bottom of an upcoming downward slope. He’s pacing back and forth in circles until he spots our group approaching, and then he moves to meet us halfway up the path.

“We’re just up ahead.” He gestures for us to follow, and we do. “Yvonne sent me because it’s a little bit off the trail.”

“What were you all doing leaving the trail?” Helen asks, audible annoyance in her tone.

Jai swallows, looking toward Nina. “It was only supposed to be a short detour. Libby saw the bridge and wanted to—”

“Poohsticks,” Helen softly interrupts. She sighs, stretching her neck. “Of course.”

“What? What is that?” Nina asks.

“It’s this silly game from the Winnie-the-Pooh books. Virginia, her mother, used to play it with her. You throw sticks off a bridge into the water below and then see whose comes out first on the other side.”

“Caleb offered to go with her,” Jai explains. “I joked that the bridge looked dodgy but…” He turns toward me, guilt heavy in his eyes. “I didn’t think it would break. When Libby fell through Caleb jumped in so fast. I swear, he’s like Clark Kent or some shit.”

Through a patch of dense trees and bush, I see some of the other group. By the root of a large oak tree, Yvonne sits with Libby in her lap, holding her closely. Not far from them, Caleb is laid down on the side of the riverbank and Henry is kneeling next to him.

“Here, let me take that.” Jai reaches for my bag and slips it off my shoulders. As soon as the weight is off my back, I take off running the rest of the way.

“She’s here,” I hear Henry say as I approach, my chest heaving as I fall to my knees next to Caleb.

“Hi, baby.” Caleb’s voice is slow and barely above a whisper. His eyes are mostly shut but fluttering.

There is a lot of blood. Blood on Caleb’s forehead. Seeped into his beard. Down the side of his neck. A little bit on the leaves beneath his head and the rolled-up sweater being used as a makeshift pillow. It’s mostly dry but the cut above his ear is still bright red and wet.

I force myself to blink, take a deep breath, and fight against every impulse to throw up my breakfast. I scan the rest of his body slowly until I reach his boots. He doesn’t seem to have any other injuries. But I notice his clothes are still wet and there’s a pile of discarded wipes, gauze, and bloody tissues at his feet that have me fighting not to gag.

“Baby?”

“I’m here,” I say, reaching out to touch his arm, squeezing his biceps with both of my hands. “Are you okay?”

“I think so,” he says weakly. “Woozy…I’ve been told not to move.”

“He fought me on that one,” Henry says, moving to check on Caleb’s wound. “First thing I learned in first aid was to never move someone with a head injury. He’s pretty banged up…. He’ll definitely need stitches.”

“What hurts, Cay?” I ask.

“My head,” he answers, the corner of his lip quirking up a tiny bit, “and my pride.”

“Hey. You should be proud,” I say, trying to steady my breaths as queasiness washes over me in waves. “I heard Jai call you Clark Kent.”

“Libby fell,” he says, then sputters out a cough. I wince when he groans from the pain, his eyes shutting tight as he fights through it.

“I know, love. It’s okay. You helped her. She’s all right now,” I say, briefly looking over my shoulder toward Libby and Yvonne as they wrap themselves around Helen.

“I’m sorry I ruined the end of the trip,” Caleb says, voice slowing as his eyes lull.

“Stay awake buddy.” Henry pats his chest twice. “C’mon, just a few more minutes.”

“You didn’t ruin anything,” I say adamantly, squeezing his arm once again.

“Keep him talking,” Henry directs me. “I’ll be right back.”

“How?” I ask, feeling desperate.

“Ask him questions.”

I look down at Caleb, lost for words and too scared to think straight. “Have you seen any good movies lately?” I laugh softly as a tear falls down my cheek and then another, and another. When they begin to pour, I wipe my chin with my shoulder, refusing to take both of my hands off him. “Cay?” I sniff.

“Are you crying, baby?” Caleb opens his eyes weakly. “Don’t cry.”

“I’m okay.” I shake myself. I have to keep his eyes open and on me. “Did you get the chance to talk to Henry? About your work stuff?”

“Yeah…”

“Good,” I say, brushing his cheek with my thumb. “Do you feel good about it? Do you think you’ll be able to do it?”

“Mm-hmm.”

I move one hand to his chest, patting him as Henry had. “You have to stay awake, love. Please.”

“It hurts,” he whimpers. I feel my heart splinter, and my tears begin coming in faster.

“I know.” I move my hand to cup his face. “I know it does. You want me to go beat up that bridge? I’ll do it. Just say the word.”

“The rock,” he answers.

“Okay, I’ll beat the shit out of that rock as soon as the medics arrive.”

“Good,” he whispers with the hint of a weary smile. “Fight for my honor.”

“I will,” I say, brushing my hand over his chin. “I’m so sorry you got hurt. It’s not fair.”

“Not your fault.” His tone is steadier, but just as quiet.

“Well, I dragged you out here.”

He grunts his disapproval. “We needed this.”

“What is the old saying? You needed it like a hole in the head?”

“Yes, but that’s not applicable.”

“Only you would use the word applicable minutes after a head injury.” I wipe my tears onto my shoulder once again. I don’t know if it’s just anxiety mixing in an explosive cocktail with adrenaline, relief that he seems to be okay, or fear of what could have been—but the tears won’t seem to stop no matter how hard I try.

“Maybe I’ll get another cool scar.”

I sniff as a broken laugh comes out of me. “Maybe,” I whisper.

“Hey, Caleb,” Kieran says as he and Henry approach. “Mind if I take a look at your eyes?” he asks, kneeling beside Caleb’s head. “I used to play rugby and got pretty good at spotting a concussion.”

“Sure,” Caleb mutters.

Worry twists in my gut as his eyes remain mostly closed.

“Can you open them wider for me?”

We all wait as Caleb struggles to open his eyes.

Kieran won’t look at me. “No worries, man…We’ll leave it to the professionals,” he says. I try not to allow myself to panic when I see Kieran and Henry trade concerned expressions.

“Stay awake, Cay,” I remind him again when I notice him drifting.

“Mhm.”

I find myself watching the rise and fall of his chest, and feel my fear lessen with every strong breath in and out. “How long will they be?” I ask Henry.

“Any minute now,” he answers.

Caleb lifts his hand off the ground and places it onto my bent knee. “Sar?”

“Yes?” I move closer, shifting my hip against the side of his abdomen.

“I love you,” he says with a heavy breath.

“I love you too,” I say. “I love you so much and you were so brave to jump in after Libby. I’m sorry you got hurt doing the right thing…But you’re okay,” I tell him. Or, perhaps, I tell myself. “You’re going to be okay.”

“You would have done it too,” he says, before his eyes drift completely shut.

“No, love, stay awake…Cay? Cay, c’mon.”

He grumbles in response.

“They’re here,” Kieran says, patting my shoulder. I look up to find Phil leading a group of four paramedics over. They’re carrying a stretcher and medical supply bags.

“Hey,” I say, tightening my grip on Caleb, “the medics are here now. I’m going to give them some space to look you over, okay?”

“No,” he blindly reaches for me. “Don’t go,” he says, voice scratchy and low.

“I’m here,” I say, moving to stand. “I’m not going anywhere.”

I stay as close as I can to Caleb as the medics get to work assessing him. Henry answers their questions as Nina moves to my side, weaving her arm under mine and holding me steady.

After what is probably about ten minutes but feels like a lifetime, the medics carefully roll Caleb onto their stretcher. They work in unison with precision and speed. One of them begins tidying up their equipment while the two others strap Caleb in and secure his restraints. The last of the four men makes his way over to me. “We’re ready to go, ma’am.”

I nod, wiping more tears away. “Okay.”

“We’ll drive your car over,” Henry offers, moving to my side. “You can leave your stuff with us.”

“Thank you.” I hug him. “The car keys are in Caleb’s pack.”

“Take this,” Helen says, hustling over toward me as two members of the paramedic team check the straps across Caleb’s body once again. She hands me a phone. “So Henry can find you later.”

I nod, tightening my grip around the simple flip phone.

“Thank you,” I whisper.

“Sarah,” Yvonne says, walking toward me with Libby tucked tightly against her side. “We’re—” She cuts herself off as her voice waivers, shaking with emotion. “Tell him thank you from us,” she says softly.

“All set,” the medic behind me says. They move in formation to lift Caleb.

“You okay?” I quietly ask Libby.

She nods.

I smile, tears still pouring down my cheeks. “Good.”

“I’m sorry,” she adds.

“One, two, three, lift…” The team of medics say in unison.

I feel emotion clog my throat but fight it back to smile at her. “Don’t apologize, you did nothing wrong. I’m glad you’re okay,” I tell her before turning and following the medics out of the woods.