Out of the Woods

Chapter Twenty-Six

Twenty-six

Two hours later, we arrive in Caleb’s new room downstairs in the general ward. He’s got nothing attached to him anymore, and he’s even stood up to walk to the bathroom with my help. The nurses and I keep reminding him not to push himself, but he’s always been an overachiever.

Chellie left shortly after we were allowed back into the ICU. She gave Caleb a gentler lecture than I think any of us had been expecting and told him she’d be back tomorrow with Cyrus in tow. Win left shortly after Chellie did, to have some time with Gus before her bedtime.

Standing at Caleb’s bedside, I wheel over the tall side table so it stretches over his lap. Then, I place his water cup and glasses down. He eagerly reaches for his glasses and puts them on. “Much better,” he says, blinking to focus.

“Welcome back,” I say, crawling onto the narrow bed next to him. I snuggle into his side. He lifts his arm over my back and draws small circles on my ribs with his fingertips. “Are you hungry? You must be hungry.”

“A little bit…”

“Okay, I’ll—” As soon as I try to move off the bed, ready to scrounge up some hopefully not-disgusting cafeteria food, he holds me tighter to him.

“Not yet,” he says softly. “This first.”

I relax back into him, breathing him in. “You scared the shit out of me, Linwood,” I tell him.

“I’m sorry.” He kisses my forehead. “Didn’t mean to.”

“I know,” I say sarcastically. “You just had to go and be a hero.”

“How is Libby doing?” he asks.

I lift off the bed slightly to pull my phone out of my pocket. “Yvonne texted me a few hours ago just to check in. They decided to end the trip a night early. Libby is totally fine, though she’s obviously a little shook up. She was worried that we were mad at her.”

“I hope you—”

“I told Yvonne to tell her that we were definitely not mad and still wanted to go to her recital next month.”

“Good,” Caleb says followed by a sigh. “Everything’s a little fuzzy memory-wise.”

“I bet.”

“I remember hitting my head, lying down, talking to Henry, and then you.”

“Right,” I say, nodding.

“But…Did Jai call me Superman?”

I cannot help but giggle. Of course that is one of the few things he remembers. “Clark Kent, I think it was, but yes.” He smiles proudly in response, soliciting more of my laughter. “You’ll be pleased to hear that Jai has checked in a few times,” I tease. “I found Nina on Instagram, and we swapped numbers. I think we both made new friends.”

“Well, who wouldn’t want to be friends with you?”

I tilt up to look at his face and then brush my palm over his beard. For a moment, we just stare at each other, holding softened eye contact. In our little happy bubble, everything feels just as it should be. Monitors beep, announcements sound, and nurses chat outside the door, but in here—it’s perfect.

Caleb smiles a new smile I’ve yet to see. Something like regret in his eyes in contrast to the serenity in his crooked, subtle grin. “I don’t want to wait ten years,” he says softly, in almost a whisper, “to have the life we want. You are the only thing that matters to me, and I’m tired of pretending otherwise. If you’re okay with it, I’d like to start scaling back the company as soon as possible.”

I know it’s probably the exhaustion and the literal head wound talking, but I smile just the same. “We can talk about it tomorrow. You should be resting. It’s—”

“I’ve never felt clearer,” he says, cupping my face in a tight hold. He brings our foreheads together as he sighs. “I’m not wasting another moment….” He pulls back, his eyes held firmly on me as emotions rise and tears begin to sting my eyes. “I’m finally asking myself, ‘What would Marcie Green do?’?” He reaches out to wipe a tear that’s rolling down my cheek with a bent knuckle, then laughs gently. “I don’t really like white wine, but I do want to give when I’m able, help when I can, and not waste my one shot at life.”

“You remember?” I ask, pouting up at him. “You remember my speech?”

“Of course I do.”

“Okay,” I answer him. “Whatever you want…But—”

“Fuck the ten-year plan. All that I could ever want is in this bed right now.” He leans down to kiss me. Our lips meet tenderly. Warmth radiates between us as tears roll between our mouths, making our kiss taste like an ocean breeze. It’s soft and sweet, and not very long before a quick knock at the door separates us.

Just as I think we’re about to get told off by a nurse for sharing Caleb’s bed, I spot Bo through the square pane of glass in the door.

“Come in!” I call out, shuffling higher in the bed to sit up as Caleb takes a sip of water.

“Hey,” Bo singsongs, leaning through the door, his broad smile locked on Caleb. “We thought maybe you’d be hungry?” He reveals a huge box of pizza, bringing the other half of his body inside of the room. Behind him walks Win, holding August.

“Well, this is a nice surprise,” I say, hopping out of the bed and practically skipping toward my niece. “Hi, Gussy girl.”

“Who cares about a bedtime on such a special day?” Win says, angling so I can take Gus from her.

“I missed you.” I kiss the side of her head, turning back toward the bed. “Did you have fun with Dada?”

“According to my husband the park was great until the geese came….” Win answers for her, flashing me a grin.

Bo places the pizza box down onto the table and rests his hand on Caleb’s shoulder, smiling down at him with a warmth that makes my chest ache. “You look good, man,” he says, his voice rough, as he pats my husband’s arm. “Real good.”

“Oh, yeah?” Caleb smirks. “Do you like my new outfit?” He gestures to his hospital gown.

“Beautiful,” Bo returns, stepping back to mime taking a photo. “But don’t make a habit of wearing it.”

“They’re disgustingly cute,” Win says snidely for only my ears, stepping around me to grab a chair from the far corner of the room.

The five of us sit together, surrounding Caleb’s bed as we eat pizza and catch Caleb up on what he’s missed in the last forty-eight hours. We specifically focus on the way I bitched-out Cyrus on the phone and Chellie’s new affinity for Jerry Springer. Then Gus tells us all in great, toddler-pronounced detail about the playground she’d visited today with her dad and the “bird bullies.” Geese, as they’re otherwise known.

We talk, and eat, and tease, and bicker, and repeat it all in tandem until there’s nothing but pizza crusts left. Gus falls asleep in my arms as time ticks by until it’s probably long past visiting hours—but no one comes to tell us off, so we stay. I listen to the contented rumblings of Gus’s heavy breathing against my chest, and find myself drifting off too—the exhaustion of the last few days settling in.

When I wake and fade slowly back into awareness, Caleb is telling Bo all about his ideas for Focal with unbridled enthusiasm not suited to a man in a hospital bed. Try as I might, neither of them listens to my pleas for Caleb to rest when there’s an opportunity to nerd-out and calculate something. They keep going, and I can’t help but listen—admiring Caleb’s newfound passion for scaling back our lifestyle and uplifting his employees. It’s exactly what I didn’t know we needed. I’ve never felt prouder to be my husband’s wife than hearing him decide to step out of his father’s shadow and try something new to do right by his employees.

When Caleb mentions my plan for university, Bo’s ears perk up and he and Win both smile at me proudly, then each other. It’s a small, subtle type of smile that says She’s going to be all right. It’s the same one Caleb and I exchanged after we spent time with Win and Bo for the first time post-Gus conception. I tell them that my plan is to apply for an undergraduate degree in English—hopefully start in the fall—and then to simply try my best.

It’s not long after that the two men slip back into talking numbers. Bo mentions a house for sale down the street from theirs and Caleb’s face lights up. God, I don’t know which pairing out of the four of us would be more codependent if we lived even closer. Still, I agree to go look at it when Caleb’s given the all clear to leave the hospital.

“Hey, you,” Win whispers, leaning in as she brushes the hair out of her sleeping daughter’s face. The maternal warmth in her eyes as she looks at Gus always stirs up a nostalgic comfort inside my chest.

“Hi,” I whisper back, admiring the side profile of my beautiful friend while she slowly glances around the room, grinning at the two men nattering away across from us, her daughter, and then back toward me.

“You know, I keep thinking about what you said to me when I was pregnant with this one….” She strokes her daughter’s cheek.

“I say a lot of things,” I reply. “Remind me?”

“ You deserve good things. ” Win lifts her chin on an exhale. “And I think you were right. I think we do. I think we have them. I think Marcie would be very, very proud of us.”

I nod softly in reply. “You know what? I agree.”

I rest my cheek on top of my niece’s head and close my eyes to capture the exact feeling of the moment. The comfort of having my family in one place. How glad I am to know and be known by them all. The relief of sensing that it will all be okay. The knowledge that we’ll all be here for one another if it ever isn’t.

Filled with gratitude, I send up a prayer of thanks for the first time, directed at no one in particular, but anyone who’d hear it.

Thank you for Gus. Thank you for Win and for Bo. Thank you for interfering, for intervening, and making them a family. Thank you for Caleb. Thank you for bringing him into my life exactly when I needed him. For allowing me to find my soulmate earlier than most so I would never have to be alone. Thank you for making him kind. Thank you for my mother, for the time I had her. Thank you for this one, beautiful, messy shot at life. I promise to not waste another moment of it. Amen.