Out of Time (Fall of the Morelli Crime Family #3)

5. Chapter 5

five

Mark

T he love of my life was Bianca Rose Morelli. That made sense, karmically speaking.

I was used to getting the short end of the stick in the dating world. If Bee—Bianca—was a mafia princess and I was a cop, maybe it was for the best. She lived in a dangerous enough world, and I didn’t want to imagine what could happen to her if we combined that with my luck.

My high school sweetheart, Danielle, dumped me halfway through the night of her seventeenth birthday because she thought we weren’t working out. Someone kidnapped her in the two minutes between me leaving her on the curb and the rest of our group coming outside.

We never found any justice for her death.

The next two women I dated also felt the need to dump me out of the blue and also died not long after. I knew the only common factor was me and my inability to take things slowly.

It wasn’t lost on me that I was doing the same damn thing with Bianca, but it didn’t seem like Too Much with her. I thought I finally met someone who was on the same page as me, who wanted the same things.

Maybe it was good Bianca didn’t want to date me. It couldn’t be healthy for her in the long term. It was best to just think of our one night together as a happy memory. They were rare, so it was nice to know I could have a perfect night every once in a while.

I needed to buck up and stop all the woe-is-me crap when the universe took revenge on me. The fact that I was destined to be alone and miserable was part of the reason I worked hard to act like an idiot goofball in front of other people. My solitude and depression were my curse to bear, not something I wanted anyone else to experience.

No one needed to know what went on in my head.

But I had a plan to get through the dark times with minimal wallowing. It wasn’t the best plan, but it was better than nothing.

I was going to convince Bianca to be my friend.

Dating was completely off the table; there was no way to spin it at the station if I was caught seeing the daughter of the man I was trying to arrest. I didn’t want to put my career on the line, but I also couldn’t imagine my life without my busy little Bee in it.

If someone found out we were hanging out socially, I could give a little white lie and say that she was my CI—my confidential informant—but no one could look the other way if they thought we were involved.

That was why I needed to get her out of dodge in front of the bar. If Lucas came outside, he’d use his powers of observation to figure out something was going on, and I’d never be able to talk my way out of the inevitable conclusion if he found out who she was.

Being her friend was an almost-happy middle ground. I wouldn’t feel her love, her body against mine, but I could be near her.

I had to hope that Bianca was willing to live with a bit of risk as well.

I looked at the time displayed on my coffee maker and swore. She was supposed to arrive in fifteen minutes, and I still had to get the coffee and breakfast. I shoved my feet in my shoes and grabbed my keys, praying to whatever gods existed that there wasn’t a line at the shop across the street.

I threw my apartment door open and paused. My shoulders sagged with relief, the tension going out of my body in one smooth breath.

Bee…anca was there. I didn’t know how worried I was that she’d stand me up until I felt the anxiety dissipate when she was standing in front of me again.

“Sorry,” she said, wringing her hands together nervously. Her tote nearly fell off her shoulder as she fidgeted. “I know I’m early.”

“Don’t be sorry. I’m just glad that you’re here.”

She nodded, looking up to meet my eyes briefly before dropping her gaze again. She didn’t need to be nervous.

“You can come in, but I was about to run out for the breakfast stuff. I think I only have water and Dr. Pepper here in the house,” I told her with a nervous smile.

“It’s fine. I don’t really need anything.” Her fidgeting brought attention to the expensive gold watch on her wrist. Nope, with family money like she had, she definitely wasn’t in need of much.

“Then come in,” I said, stepping back and gesturing her inside. “Please.”

She nodded, slipping in past me, but I hadn’t stepped back enough, and I felt her beautiful curves press lightly against me as she slipped inside. Dear god , being just friends would be torture if it meant touching her.

I closed the door behind her and followed where she led, but she just stood awkwardly a foot or so away from my couch. The couch where I held her beautiful neck in my hands, and she lifted her lips to mine, giving herself over to me. Where I kissed her, lips trailing down to the swell of her breasts, now fully covered with a bulky and thoroughly unnecessary peacoat in the late spring weather.

Maybe this really was a stupid plan.

I cleared my throat. “Are you sure you don’t need anything? Can I get you a water or take your coat for you?”

“Um, sure.” She set her bag down next to the couch and began unbuttoning the coat, so the gentleman in me stepped forward to grab the material from her shoulders and help her slip it off.

I could practically hear Scott McKenzie’s gentle voice singing the words as I took her in.

She channeled her inner flower child, wearing flowers in her hair just like every other time I’d seen her. This time it was a little sunflower ornamenting the loose bun along the nape of her neck. As if that little flower pin was selected just to match her outfit, I took in the light and flowy sage green skirt that fell to just below her knees and the simple yellow t-shirt.

But more important than the clothes, that angry expression was gone.

She looked like Bee, like the woman I met at the ridiculous tiki bar, and it both broke my heart and delighted me to see her like this again. I stared for only a couple seconds, then went to grab a bottle of water, gently setting her coat on the breakfast bar on the way back to her.

I brought her the water, gesturing for her to take a seat. She hesitated only a moment, then sat delicately in the same spot she did six weeks ago. I sat on the opposite side, leaving plenty of space between us, unlike six weeks ago. It wouldn’t be appropriate or friendly to sit right next to her and put my arm around her again.

Friends. That was the goal.

“What did you want to talk about?” she asked, daring to look up and meet my eyes. Hers were beautiful, just like before.

“I really want to be your friend,” I blurted out. It felt like a lie. I wanted so much more, but I could survive settling for friends.

“My friend?” she asked, confusion bringing confidence back into her. “Why in the world would you want that?”

I needed to earn her trust after I reacted so poorly yesterday. Twice. I needed to lay it all on the line and do it in a way that would lift her spirits.

“I know who’s on your family tree,” I began, winking at her. She almost died laughing at my awful plant puns last time. “But I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that I like your company. So why not be friends?”

“Come on, Mark, give me more than just a seed of truth here,” she said with a grin. Ooh, good one.

“Okay, I’ll be completely honest with you.” I dropped the puns and scooted a couple inches closer so I could hold her hand in mine. She gave it a little squeeze, so I continued on the path. “I want to marry you and have babies with you because I fell in love at first sight, but that’s not going to happen is it?”

Her eyes were wide, lips pulled tight, but she still gripped my hand tightly while she answered. “No, it’s not.”

“Exactly. I’m not going to push your boundaries, and I’m not going to sacrifice the job I worked hard for, but I don’t want to never see you again either. So I thought maybe we could just hang out? Platonically? Like friends?” I was losing steam and she wasn’t saying anything.

Maybe I had misread the whole situation. Maybe we weren’t starting a life together when we met. Maybe we just had insane chemistry and phenomenal sex. Maybe she didn’t need to know how hard I fell for her. Maybe she didn’t feel the same. Maybe she would be uncomfortable with me telling her I loved her. Maybe—

“We could be friends, Mark.”

We could?

“But I’m not sure we should. Isn’t it still a conflict of interest? What would your superiors think?”

“If they ever found out I would lie to them. I would say I’m working an angle and let them infer what they want from there.” I wanted to be crystal clear with her. I would not lie to her, no matter what, but I’d do what was necessary to keep her in my life. The Captain would assume she was a confidential informant and wouldn’t pressure me about anything; that type of lead was exactly what he wanted for the Morelli case.

She paused, pulling her hand from mine. My fingers briefly touched the soft material of her skirt before I pulled my hand back. “I can’t be your informant, Mark. Blood is thicker than water.”

“I’m not asking you to be anything other than my friend, Bee…anca.”

“I like Bee. I feel more like a Bee than a Bianca Rose.” Her voice was small, vulnerable.

“I’m not asking you to give me private information on your family, Bee. I told you last night. I don’t want to talk about them, only you. You and me.”

“My dad wouldn’t like me being friends with someone like you. I’m guessing you’re not susceptible to bribery, after all.” She snapped her mouth closed and I saw the regret there.

I waved it off. “Off the record. I didn’t hear that.” Besides, I already knew he had cops on payroll. We already ferreted one of them out, and nearly had him tracked down to answer for it.

She nodded. “Thanks. But I don’t think I should be your friend, even if I wanted to.”

“What your family doesn’t know can’t hurt them. I won’t go to your shop, to your house, to anywhere they could see us hanging out together. Hell, we could just stay here, eat takeout, watch a movie, and listen to your hippie-dippy music. I just want to spend time with you.”

I could see her cracking. She was going to say yes. And dear lord, her eyes flicked down to my lips. She wanted me just as badly as I wanted her. This was a terrible plan.

I reached for her hand again and she intercepted it, scooting closer so our knees touched. She held our hands together against her heart and I could feel her breasts move against the backs of my fingers with each breath.

“If no one will know the truth anyway, why not—”

Her fucking phone rang, cutting off the words I was desperate to hear.

She dropped my hand and her gaze, scooting back to her end of the couch to reach into her bag.

My hand fell slowly, landing on her knee. I didn’t move it, but gave her a reassuring squeeze instead.

She glanced at her phone screen, then at me. She cleared her throat and shifted her position farther away from me, breaking the contact.

“Morning, Daddy!” Her voice was bright, cheerful. Fake.

I cleared my throat and grabbed the forgotten bottle of water off the coffee table, cracking the seal and taking a long swallow. Yeah, the “friends” thing was a really idiotic idea.

“Yes, I did. It’s gorgeous. I’m wearing it now.” Her fingers brushed against the fancy watch on her wrist. So it was new, huh? “Thank you…Oh, I’m just having an early breakfast with a friend. Yeah. I’ll open the shop at the regular time. Definitely. Okay, I’ll see you then. Love you, too.”

I offered her the water again when she hung up the phone, figuring she could use a moment to compose herself. She took it gratefully, and I had an insane surge of jealousy when she wrapped her lips around the rim to take a sip. I took another drink when she passed it back to me, wanting to touch where those beautiful pink lips had just touched.

“Like I said, I’ll stay away from your shop. I don’t want to run into your family there,” I tried again, but the guilt wouldn’t leave her eyes. “I’ll leaf that part of your life alone.”

“I can’t,” she said, not even reacting to the latest play on words. “I can’t be your friend. Even if I could, that would still be a betrayal to my family.”

“Family first?” I confirmed.

She nodded, standing up. “I’m sorry.”

“Wait. Please.” She didn’t shrug my fingers off when I laced them through hers. “Are you sure you can’t be my friend?”

“I can’t. I won’t.”

I nodded. I understood, even if I didn’t like it.

“Then I have two more things to say to you. Can you sit back down please?”

She did so reluctantly, sitting as far away from me as possible. I moved closer, though not close enough to touch.

“One: I want to do my official duty. If you notice anything suspicious, if you feel unsafe, no matter where you feel the threat is coming from, please call me. I’ll do anything I can for you.” She hesitated, but still took the card I offered her, slipping it into her bag.

“What’s the second thing?”

“If I’m not going to see you again—”

“You’re not.”

“If I won’t ever get to hear your voice or touch you—”

“You won’t.”

“If I need to survive on memory for the rest of my life—”

“You will.”

“Then I’d really like to kiss you one last time.”

She held her breath, staring hard at me. I didn’t interrupt her thought process. I laid it all on the line for her, but now it was up to her what to do with the information I gave her.