Owned by the Fae (The Dark Realms #2)

Chapter 1

Chapter One

Lia

I t’s not fucking working.

In. One. Two. Three. Four. Five.

Out. One. Two. Three. Four. Five.

In. One. Two. Three. Four. Five.

Out. One. Two. Three. Four. Five.

I count my breaths. I’ve been at it for hours, I think. I try not to let any other thoughts intrude. I haven’t forgotten where I am or how I got here. But I can’t think about what’s happened.

Not yet. It’s too … inconceivable.

And yet, I should have seen it coming. I know better than to trust fae. At least, I thought I did.

In. One. Two. Three. Four. Five.

Out. One. Two. Three. Four. Five.

In. One. Two. Three. Four. Five.

Out. One. Two. Three. Four. Five.

My eyes are closed because one glance up at the familiar white ceiling of my room in Varrik’s keep, with all the cracks I memorized long ago, was enough to make me vomit over the side of the bed earlier. It must still be there on the floor.

The servants have come in pairs twice. Once to bring water and once to set a plate of stale bread on the table in front of the empty hearth. I’ve noticed that all of them have been fae so far rather than the pixies that Varrik used to employ. No one else has come.

Not Varrik. Not Grith. Not The Cunty Betrayers .

Those three fucking fae! I can see them in my mind’s eye outside the cave the morning after Grey and I ... Kal’s angry eyes on me, Grey’s blank face watching me and Varrik, Dane’s smirk and his hand wave as he immediately took off the conjure that he’d worked on me so I couldn’t run from them while they were bringing me to my unwitting ruin. He ripped it out of me so abruptly that it stole the air form my lungs.

My breathing begins to quicken when I think of them, what they did, what I let them do . My stomach rolls, and I think I’m going to wretch again. I realize I’ve stopped counting.

I start again immediately, keeping my fear reined in as much as I can, maintaining my tight control over the Harbinger. It’s harder now than it has been since those first few months after the darkness was given to me by Varrik, when I couldn’t sway its desire to destroy even a little.

Perhaps it’s being back in Varrik’s fold, so near to the camp where all this began, that makes it impossible to forget that it’s inside me. Or, perhaps it’s just closer to the surface than it has been for a while. I did use it for the first time in almost a decade to destroy those orcs before they could kill Grey.

What a mistake that was.

Unbidden, a sob bubbles up from deep in my chest, and I abandon my counting. It’s useless anyway. There’s no respite from this. An involuntary tear tracks its way from the corner of my eye and into my hair even as I steel myself to thoughts of them and their casual treachery.

I’d known they would use me, that they’d brought me from Alcana for some reason, but I never dreamed that it would be to bring me back here. As far as I knew, Varrik was dead, and his Skilled were scattered through the circles of the Dark Realms.

I begin to feel sick again and shy away from the fact that I failed so spectacularly seven years ago when I tried to kill him. Instead, I consider the other ... thing , the flutter of something inside me that I’ve never felt before. It started when I killed those orcs.

There’s an awareness of the darkness inside me that I never had before until the moment they all fell down dead. The power felt the same, and the release of it. The sheer relief and the joy of letting it out of me was something that I hate that I missed, but I can’t pretend I didn’t. However, there was something else that I only recalled afterward. For a split second, I’d felt motivations that were not mine. Concerns.

For me.

It felt as if the Harbinger itself was seeking to protect me, which is troubling enough, but what’s worse is how much I wanted to let it.

Was it some kind of trick by the Harbinger? The darkness as a thing with the ability to reason, with wants past the destruction and death it so easily leaves in its wake, isn’t something I ever experienced in the years that it’s been a part of me. It felt as if it wanted to kill, but it didn’t just want that. It had other purposes for its actions as well.

Its presence was like whispers on the wind, and even now, I can’t keep the odd thoughts from breaking through, ideas that I know aren’t mine. I’d learned to subdue it so well during my time in Alcana, but it feels different than before.

It’s as if it’s gained a sentience, and I don’t know what to make of that. Has it taken pieces of me to make itself … more ? Or has it been sitting in the back of my mind for the past decade, listening and learning as a child would from its parents?

No words come through, just fleeting impressions, and I’ve been thinking about it on and off since I recognized the change in it. Is it even real? I’m scared and tired. I’m friendless and in the hands of my enemies. Maybe I’m just imagining all of this, trying to create an ally because I have none here. I almost laugh at how ridiculous that would be.

After the orcs, I convinced myself quickly that it hadn’t happened the way I thought, but then I began to notice a persistent pressure in the back of my mind … where it resides, as if it was trying to speak to me but couldn’t find a way to make me hear it.

Not that I want to listen to its false words. I’ve had enough of being told lies lately. I already know that it wants me alive. It has an instinct that lends itself to self-preservation. Perhaps it learned that from me as well. I keep it safe by breathing, by existing. It’s in its best interests to keep me that way. And that’s how I know, too, that it doesn’t really care about me. How could it? It’s not alive. It’s just a Skill, a potent one, but nothing more than that. The Harbinger is a tool for Varrik to make me use. That’s all.

I hear purposeful footsteps coming down the hallway, and I forget about the Harbinger as I realize I have more urgent problems.

I rise from the bed, turning my attention to the tangible. Whoever it is has a quick pace with a slight shuffle. Dread fills me as I recall that gait. I know who’s coming, and I haven’t felt this brand of terror since I was a young girl.

‘I’m not a child anymore,’ I say to myself, vowing that I won’t let him make me feel as helpless as he did back then.

I don’t know how long I’ve been back, but it must be two or three days by now at least. The bread and water were brought by servants I didn’t recognize from before, but they knew what I am. They came with a guard and left quickly, never looking at me nor getting too close despite the new binding conjure that should make them feel safe.

I can feel it covering me in addition to the four that were already there. Varrik’s original spell, the one I paid for in Alcana before I knew it would make no difference, and the two that Dane put on me while we were traveling. But the bindings don’t work. They haven’t in a long time. Though I can still feel them like weights on my shoulders.

I thought Grey would have mentioned how useless they are to Varrik. He knows, after all. He’s seen the Harbinger at work despite it being impossible, at least according to the fae lord.

I hear my door unlocking, and I let out a calming breath as the enemy I expect enters my room with an anticipatory smile on his face.

Grith.

Even knowing it would be him, my body still locks up for a moment with the memories of his hair brushing against me as he leaned over me, of his fingers touching me … that sometimes pretended tenderness which was so much worse than his fists.

He looks older. Weathered. As if more than seven years have passed. I never knew his age other than he must be at least twenty years older than me. But the gap seems to have widened considerably in his appearance. He’s still quite broad in the shoulders, but his dark clothes seem very slightly too big. They hang off him as if he’s lost muscle and hasn’t realized. His hair is thinner, too, and there’s even a bald patch on the crown that wasn’t there before.

The years have taken their toll on him.

Good.

He doesn’t speak; just walks around the room with a nonchalance that’s meant to terrify me. I hate to admit that it does. He’s always at his cruelest in the moments he seems calmest.

‘It’s been a long time,’ he finally says, scratching at the short, grey beard he’s begun to keep.

His rasping voice sounds the same and yet somehow more wizened.

I don’t reply to him. Anything I say will be used against me somehow. Instead, I put all of my energy into appearing as if I’m not afraid … and keeping all my emotions down where they can’t be seen or made to benefit him.

His eyes move over my dress, the clothes that marked me as a slave in Rondorai, and I see the amusement lurking in his eyes.

The sick cunt enjoys it. He’s not even trying to hide it. He likes what he thinks it means ... that I’ve endured innumerable horrors outside Varrik’s keep and the fold as a human and a female .

‘I wondered how you fared out there beyond the safety of our borders,’ he says, moving closer, stalking me now.

Safety?

I almost scoff at his choice of word. This place was never a shelter for me.

But I don’t scoff. I don’t make a sound as my eyes track the steps that bring him closer and closer. I try not to panic. I want to run, but that would be as big a mistake as when I began to trust the Cunty Betrayers.

Never move.

That was one of the first lessons I learned when dealing with Grith.

‘Varrik assured me you were alive.’ He chuckles. ‘But when no one could find you after the first year, I began to have my doubts.’

His eyes linger on the linen dress.

‘How long were you out there in the Wilds before you were captured?’ His eyes crinkle. ‘Was it before or after the laws changed? Were you whipped and beaten half to death in the street or given to a bull to be bred? Are your scars on your back or on your stomach, hmm? Perhaps both, eh?’

He stops in front of me, and I don’t look away. Lesson number two was never to show him fear. It excites him and makes him more frenzied and unpredictable. Better the vicious fae I know.

‘I think I’d like to see for myself,’ he says, eyes not leaving mine. ‘After all, you are mine to … What’s it called these days?’ His lips curl upwards into a smile that makes my stomach churn. ‘ Discipline and release as I see fit.’

Bile rises in my throat.

No. Varrik wouldn’t …

His hands are at the collar of my dress before I register what he’s doing, and he rips it in two with a violent wrench that has me almost crying out in fear.

Almost.

But I stay quiet. This will go faster and easier for me if I don’t fight. Instead, I consider his choice of words and what he doesn’t say. I’m not owned by him. Varrik may have given me to Grith for safekeeping, but I doubt he’ll allow him free reign over me even after all this time.

Varrik has plans and an endgame. I don’t know what either of them is, but I’m still important enough to be needed for them, or else he’d have written me off as lost long ago ... or killed me as soon as he saw me come out of that cave.

The tattered pieces of the dress fall to the floor, and Grith’s eyes dip, taking in my breasts.

‘My, my, we have grown up, haven’t we, Little Lia?’

His name for me makes my stomach revolt further, and I only barely keep whatever’s left in it down.

‘Varrik will be pleased.’ He grazes one of my nipples with his knuckle and grins when it hardens under his touch.

‘As responsive as always,’ he murmurs as if my nipple tightening means something other than the fact that this room is freezing cold.

I wish he’d get to the inevitable beating. I know he won’t rape me. He’ll save that first for another time. A special occasion if Varrik allows it.

‘I’d so enjoy you.’ He lets out a small sigh. ‘Alas, you have a different destiny than being my toy.’

I can’t help the tiny sigh of relief that’s released from me, and I’m glad that he doesn’t notice it.

He’s too busy staring at my chest. He pinches both my nipples between his fingers hard and laughs at the squeak of pain I can’t contain. But he lets go quickly, and while I’m still reeling from his painful touch, the first open-handed smack has me thudding into the wall behind me.

At least we’re back in the realms of predictability.

‘All this time ... did you think you’d been successful? Did you think I was dead?’ he growls. ‘Did you think Varrik was ?’

He laughs loudly, and it echoes around the room as he hits me again, sending me to the hard grey floor.

‘As if you could, little human. You’re nothing compared to a fae, are you? Even with your powerful skill, once you’re bound, all you are is a pretty body. The rest of the Dark Realms have the right of it, I think. Labor and breeding are all a human female is good for.’

I say nothing, trying to retreat into my head where the pain doesn’t register so acutely. But after seven years as a menacing she-troll who was rarely even spoken to sharply, let alone beaten, I’m out of practice.

‘Where did they find you?’ he continues.

I wonder at his question in the back of my mind while I try to deal with the pain. Haven’t The Cunty Betrayers told the story of how we were all stuck in Alcana for years? Internally, I roll my eyes. Perhaps they’ll pretend they were searching the Wilds all this time and got lucky one day. I suppose it would be embarrassing for them if they revealed that they’d been trapped in a city and that I’d been under their noses for so long without them having an inkling I was there.

The vicious kick to my stomach sidelines my thoughts, and I let out a groan. The first real sound of pain I’ve given him since the beating started.

How he revels in it. He loves it as much as I remember. I can practically see his dick hardening in his breeches even though Varrik has clearly told him I’m not for him to use.

The darkness inside is practically clawing at my defenses. The need to let go is almost impossible not to give in to, but I hold on. I made a vow that I’d never use it. I broke it to save Grey, but I won’t again.

I can’t.

Even though I can feel it curling through my thoughts, making me want to retaliate.

It would be so easy.

The thought isn’t mine, and the realization that it’s spoken to me has my body physically jerking on the floor.

Grith’s smile widens. As usual, he thinks it’s all for him. Arrogant prick. He picks me up and draws our faces close. I can feel his breath on my cheek, and I barely hold back a grimace.

‘Shall I tell you what you have to look forward to, Harbinger?’ He licks his lips salaciously. ‘You’re mine to break. You best believe that I’m going to enjoy every moment of hurting you, and when Varrik allows it, I’m going to plow your human holes as much as I like.’

This time when my stomach twists, I bend over and vomit all over his boots.

He lets out a disgusted noise and pushes me away hard. I hit the wall and sink to the floor, where his final kick to my ribs has me coughing up blood onto the rough stone.

Grith finally steps back.

‘That’s just the beginning,’ he murmurs. ‘Varrik sees now that I was right about how you need to be controlled. You’re going to be much more useful when you’ve been broken ... as humans should be.’

He begins to walk away, leaving me where I’ve fallen.

I don’t try to get up. That’s just an invitation for him to get a few more blows in. So, I lay on the cold floor, listening to him retreat and wondering if he’ll have a healer come. That’s what he used to do after giving me a good beating.

He always ensured that I was healed enough that no one could see the worst of the marks. I sometimes wondered why he didn’t just tell Rikoth to hide them as Fiana did, but then, his first loyalty was always to Varrik, and his lord would need me hale enough to wield the weapon he put inside me.

If he bothers to call for one today, though, it won’t be for that reason. Varrik won’t be letting me out of his fold to do his bidding until he knows he’s got me under his thumb again. He won’t risk me escaping a second time.

My door closes, marking Grith’s departure, and I let out a harsh breath. I need to begin planning how I’m going to get away for a second time and where I’m going to go. If my journey back through the circles was anything to go by, the Dark Realms are even more dangerous for a young human like me than they were before.

I wonder if I could get my hands on another trinket like that one I found to change my appearance. I discount the idea quickly, though. I can’t hinge my hopes on that. I never saw any other such baubles besides that one that Dane destroyed in Alcana. I’m guessing that the bracelet I found on the eve of my first foray into Varrik’s world as a child, when he had me kill some of his rivals who’d been stuck with him in the Dark Realms, was a rare sort of artifact.

I sniff. The thought of living the rest of my life as a troll or an orc doesn’t fill me with excitement anyway ... Though it would be preferable to staying here to fall in with Varrik’s plans for me.

The door opens again a few minutes later. I haven't moved from the floor, and I don’t bother to even when the healer comes into view.

The young fae male’s familiar eyes narrow a little as he sees me, but he gets to work without a word, healing the fractures caused by Grith’s boot, the internal ruptures, and the bruises on my face. He leaves everything else that won’t be seen under my clothes. He’s probably been ordered to.

‘I know you,’ I croak, staring up at him.

‘I was an apprentice … before you ...’ His eyes narrow, and I flinch at the unspoken accusation.

‘I remember. Jak.’

The healer’s eyes widen and then harden. ‘You do remember me. You should know that I’ve been warned of your deceitful human tongue, Harbinger. I won’t help you to escape nor to harm poor Varrik again.’

I almost roll my eyes outwardly this time. All of them are like this here. Their hearts are so full of their master that they can’t see anything else. They explain his actions away so easily, no matter how awful. Varrik could throw a dagger at this healer’s chest, and the boy would come up with a perfectly valid reason for why his lord did it. Then, he’d probably say ‘thank you’ and profess his undying love for his leader.

‘Wouldn’t dream of it,’ I whisper, closing my eyes.

‘I’ll … help you into the bed,’ he finally says, and I startle, having let my mind wander and assumed he was gone.

He pulls me up with his hands under my arms, averting his gaze from my naked body as he helps me carefully into bed and covers me with the thin, holey blanket.

‘Thank you,’ I whisper, and he scowls, turning to go.

‘Wait.’

He doesn’t turn back, but he stays where he is.

‘The ones who brought me back … Are they … Where are they?’

I know at least one of them can’t be too far away because that conjure Dane put on me is still there. I can feel it in my sternum, just shy of painful.

Jak glances back, looking at me with a suspicious face, trying to figure out why I’d want to know, most likely.

‘At the top of the village in the valley below the keep. They’ve been given one of the stone houses as a reward for returning you.’

‘The village?’ I ask.

‘That’s right. You won’t have seen it. I heard you were brought back in unconscious. He built it for us.’

Of course he did, and I’m sure he had no motive other than his many followers’ combined happiness. I keep the scoff inside, not wanting to offend him so early on lest he stops talking to me completely. He might well be the only one I’ll be conversing with at all for the foreseeable future.

Jak leaves without another word, and I close my eyes. I try the counting and breathing exercises again, but they’re even more useless than they were before now that I’ve been reminded of what life is like here for me.

I try not to think about what Grith said about Varrik’s plans for me. Allowing myself to think about the reason I’m here at all is preferable to that, even though it makes my heart twist uncomfortably... and oddly ... in my chest.

Grey, Dane, and Kallum.

After all that time hiding in plain sight ... right in front of them in Alcana ... To think that I had no idea that they were bringing me back here.

What a fool I am.

I cringe when I remember how they found me out. They’d probably thanked all the gods and their good fortune that I’d been revealed to them just in time for them to take me with them. I’d thought they needed me for something. In my stupidity, I’d even thought that I might be able to help them, that they’d let me stay with them since the poor, pathetic human trapped in the Dark Realms had nowhere else to go.

I can’t believe I’d been softening towards them and entertaining those sorts of thoughts. Of staying with them. Of caring for them. And all the while, they were bringing me back here.

I press my eyes closed, scrunching them up hard. Idiot .

I let out a small sob as I remember the night before Varrik came.

I begged Grey to fuck me, to be my first. I’d liked him. I’d wanted him, and I’d thought he’d felt …

I curl up in the bed with a wince that has nothing to do with the pain I’m in. Tears gather in my eyes. How they must have laughed at me. It was just another game. A way to get me here more easily. A path to get their revenge for what I did to their master.

I bury my head in the mattress that smells of damp.

I’m a fool.

A fool who has caused even more deaths than I’d realized because I’d had no inkling that I hadn’t destroyed this place as I thought. Varrik was meant to be gone. Grith too. But not only have they endured, they seem to have thrived ... while I merely existed and was forced to hide what I was.

Gods. It’s not fair.

Varrik somehow survived the fire. Now he’s made a fucking village and populated it with his Skilled fae. A chorus of ‘hows’ echoes through my thoughts. How many more of them have undergone the transformation? How many has Varrik killed in the Dark Realms since I left? How much further does his reach go now? How much closer is he to his goal ... whatever that is?

It's my fault. I should have made sure that he was dead instead of running like a coward.

How could I have thought any of The Cunty Trio really cared for me in the slightest?

The truth is that their pretenses to get me here, my dashed hopes for a future with a home and a family ... whatever awful things happen to me here in Varrik’s power ...

I deserve them all.

Kallum

‘We’ve been told to report to lessons first thing in the morning.’

I stare down at my hands, willing them to disappear and re-appear. I’ve been practicing since we arrived here and it’s much easier to do it now.

‘Did you hear me, Kallum?’ Grey asks, sounding frustrated.

‘Yes,’ I say, wondering at what point over the past three days Grey decided he was glad to be back in this fucking place.

I regard him thoughtfully. Maybe it was the fanfare after growing up here in obscurity where practically no one even knew our names once our skills showed themselves to be lesser .

‘Grey, Dane, and Kallum have come back to us victorious!’ Varrik had boomed when we’d all returned through the main Gate, an unconscious Lia in Varrik’s arms like a beloved child returned to him. ‘They brought my wayward human back with them!’

I’d had to turn away lest the truth be seen in my eyes. As if we would have been allowed to return to his fold without her.

Maybe it was the pretty girls practically throwing themselves at Grey’s feet, I muse as I continue to practice my skill, mostly to rile my friend who’s so easily settled back into life here. Perhaps a few weeks ago, our welcome would have been enough for me to be content here as well. Being back home where we belong, female company whenever I want it. Lovely.

But perhaps it’s not the girls that he likes. Maybe it’s this big house we’ve been gifted by the fae lord himself with its stone walls, glass windows, and fucking wine cellar . A reward to us for a job well done, he said. For not giving up.

I let out a breath. A bribe, more like, a message to the others in his new and improved camp-come-village that good things come to those who follow orders and succeed.

Grey turns away, his expression unreadable. I keep mine the same, but inside I seethe.

He took my Harbinger before I did. I told him she was mine, and he’s going to pay for that … as soon as I get her back.

‘Why?’ I ask.

He looks back. ‘Why what?’

‘Why do we have to go back to lessons? We’ve been out in the Wilds for seven years. What could we possibly learn?’ I scorn.

Grey sighs. ‘We’ll go back because learning is what we do when we aren’t?—’

‘Earning our keep by following his fucking orders?’ I spit.

‘Shut your mouth!’ he whispers urgently, glancing toward the door as if he’s afraid Varrik himself is listening.

I scoff and stand up. I stalk across the room toward him before thinking the better of it and throwing myself hard into a chair. ‘Still can’t hear a bad word said about him, eh?’

He glances around now as if he thinks there could be someone else in the room as well as behind the door. ‘You might be heard!’

I leap to my feet again with a snarl and like the way I make my shifter friend flinch, but I don’t do anything more than go to the window and look down the short hill that leads to the main street of the village.

‘He’s made a town full of fae he’s given skills to,’ I murmur, trying to calm down. ‘When we left, there were barely a hundred of us. Now there are three times that number. Some have even been given to each other to produce faelings together. It’s decided on skill level. Did you know that?’

‘I … no, I didn’t know about the faelings,’ Grey says quietly.

‘None have been produced as yet, apparently. No pregnancies at all.’ I regard him with resentment that I don’t even try to contain.

‘I also heard Fiana is on some mission somewhere in the Wilds. Has she returned yet? Has Dane finally been reunited with his beloved?’ I ask, trying to keep the bitterness out of my voice but failing.

‘She’s on some sort of long-term assignment. She likely won’t be back for a while,’ Grey says.

He looks at me, but his eyes don’t stay in one place for long. He’s uncomfortable.

‘The last weeks of travel were … difficult,’ he begins, ‘but we had to?—’

‘Don’t!’ I hiss. ‘Just don’t.’

‘I’m sorry.’

Grey isn’t looking at me. He’s staring at the floor and grimacing as if in pain.

‘I don’t blame you ,’ I mutter through clenched teeth, not looking at him directly either.

Even though you took her maidenhead and then let Dane give her to the rest of the wolves she was running from.

‘I blame Dane. He should have told me he had alerted Varrik to our location. He didn’t even let me know that we’d reached the fourth circle. That lying cunt. I thought we had weeks left to travel. I thought I had time to … He kept it all from me. But I should have known.’

I blame myself.

I go back to staring out the window, looking up at the keep on the hill that looms over the village. She’s so close, but the Breach itself might as well be between us. I watch Varrik’s castle home all the time. As if I’d be able to catch a glimpse of her at this distance.

‘She’s in there,’ I whisper.

‘I know.’

‘I haven’t seen her since we got back … what if he’s hurting her?’

‘He wouldn’t.’

I glance at Grey. Was he this na?ve about everything, and I just never noticed, or is it only when it comes to Varrik? Was I like this before she began to open my eyes?

‘She told me things when we were in Rondorai,’ I say finally.

‘What things?’

‘The way she was treated by Fiana and the other elites. By Varrik. Other things, too.’

‘You believed her?’

‘I still do.’

‘She got under our skins, and she knew it,’ Grey mutters. ‘She would have said anything to garner sympathy. She wanted our guards down. That’s all.’

‘You told me she saved your life, Grey! She killed for you. She vowed she’d never use her skill again, but she did. For you.’ And then you fucked her in a cave like it was nothing.

He flinches as if I’ve said the rest aloud, but when he speaks, he’s not on my side, nor hers. ‘And we saved her flimsy human life from the Wilds by bringing her back to a place where she’ll be safe. Whatever she’s said to you, he won’t hurt her, not really. She’s the Harbinger. She’s his Harbinger. He didn’t want her back just so he could destroy her.’

I turn away, hating his words because I wish I had even a little of his conviction that she’s protected here. But I don’t. It’s the opposite. I think she’s in more danger with Varrik than she was in Rondorai. At least there, she had us to protect her.

‘What about Grith? Do you believe those tales she told, or are those more attempts at garnering sympathy ?’

Finally, I see the spark of anger in Grey. ‘Grith,’ he snarls in a voice that isn’t his own. ‘Grith will have to be dealt with. Properly.’

‘Do you really think that Varrik will let us do anything to his second-in-command?’ I sneer. ‘Are you imagining there’ll be some kind of trial if we expose him?’

‘No,’ Grey says, finally looking me in the eye. ‘I was going to catch him alone. It’s only a matter of time before I do, and I’m going to rip his throat out. I’ll tell some lie about how he died. Varrik won’t be the wiser, and our mate will be safe.’

I stare at him, my eyes narrowing a fraction. He has no idea what he just said, I realize as he keeps waxing lyrical about his plans to kill Grith. But I heard it. The beast knows she’s ours on some level. Even if Grey is fighting the idea, it’s only a matter of time before the fae side of him sees it, too.

But it might be too late for Lia by then.

‘I want to see her,’ I murmur.

But that won’t happen unless she’s permitted out of the keep, and there’s no chance of that for a very long time, if ever. Only Varrik, Grith, and the elites are allowed unfettered access to walk those stone halls, and we aren’t high enough in the food chain … At least, we weren’t before we came back.

‘But things have changed,’ I murmur to myself.

Perhaps I need to take a leaf out of the other elites’ book. It’s time to step into the light and start using what I can do to get what I want .

‘I’m going to show them what I can do tomorrow,’ I say casually, making up my mind here and now. ‘You should as well.’

‘I might,’ he says, surprising me. ‘But I’d assumed you’d keep yours close to your chest.’

I shake my head. ‘I want to see her. I want to know she’s all right. I need her to know the truth, that I didn’t know what Dane had done until it was too late.’

‘There’s no other way to tell her this than by showing your new power?’ Grey asks, looking amused.

I scowl at the implication that I want anyone to know how my skill has grown because of some prideful need. ‘With all the conjures Varrik has on the keep, there’s only one way in, and that’s to become a servant, a guard, or an elite. I don’t know how to be a servant, and there would be questions if I tried. I was disbarred from ever being a guard by Captain Vander after that prank went wrong that time.’

Grey barks a laugh. ‘Because you poisoned him!’

I roll my eyes. ‘That was a mistake,’ I huff. ‘I’d only meant for him to be on the chamber pot for a few hours so I could sneak off and get drunk with the others on the ale we stole. You know that. He wasn’t meant to drink it all and land himself in the healers’ tent for a week!’ I wave a hand. ‘Anyway, that leaves becoming an elite. If we prove that our skills have grown enough in power, we’ll have a seat at his table with Fiana, Vern, Rikoth, and whoever else is at the top these days. That means the wards will accept us into the keep and …’

I break off as Grey nods, frowning at him in concern. He’s not as in control as he seems. I notice the faint violet glowing of the beast behind his eyes. I don’t even think he realizes how close it is to the surface.

‘Will you show them everything?’ he mutters so low I almost don’t hear him.

I shake my head, knowing what he’s really asking. Do I trust Varrik enough to demonstrate everything I can do? Not even close.

‘Only enough to get noticed,’ I say just as quietly.

Whatever loyalty I used to feel for Varrik began to dry up a long time ago, I think. It was probably around the time he sent us into the Wilds and told us not to bother returning without her. The final blow to my allegiance, though, was when I got closer to Lia on our journey home. Varrik was certainly not her generous benefactor, even if he did bring me and most of the others here after our parents ...

‘She told me Varrik killed her da,’ I say, watching Grey carefully. ‘You were often assigned to Varrik’s hunting parties outside the fold around that time, weren’t you?’

‘Aye, but not often, and I was just a lad myself.’

‘Did you ever see him hunting humans or ... fae for sport?’

Grey’s expression shutters immediately, and he turns away. ‘Not for enjoyment,’ he says, ‘if that’s what you’re getting at. If a group of more than fifty came past the river near to the Gate, they were considered a threat. It was just after the Light Realm and the Dark were sealed off from each other. Everything was in turmoil back then. Humans and fae were stuck in the circles and looking for ways back or places to settle. They were angry, and they traveled in large bands. They were often destructive and lawless, half-starved and desperate. Varrik was afraid they could overrun us in the numbers there were if they found a way through the wards into the fold, so he and the guards and the other elites culled them when necessary. It was mostly humans, but I think some of our kind, too.’

I sit down on my bed hard. How did I not know of this?

‘How many?’ I ask.

‘It’s impossible to know.’

‘Did you ...?’

Grey shakes his head. ‘I was only there to put up tents, make fires, fetch, and carry. I wasn’t even there when the culls took place.’ He hesitates. ‘But I heard Varrik usually made it a practice for the elites and the higher Skilled to hone their abilities.’

I feel a little sick as I look out the window again. Those weren’t my people. My people were already long dead by then. It’s why I was brought here to Varrik’s fold. Why do I care what happened to some faceless vagabonds years ago? Except that Lia and her da were among the groups that Varrik slaughtered.

‘You knew this all along? Varrik and his inner circle killed countless humans and fae, and you still believe our human is safe up there in that nest of vipers?’

‘She’s not just a human,’ Grey argues. ‘Her skill is important. He won’t let her die.’

‘What about hurt? What about torture?’ I persist.

‘Torture?’ He snorts. ‘He doesn’t torture his Skilled. Whatever small hardships he makes her endure as her punishment for burning down his keep, it’s nothing she hasn’t been through before.’ He snorts. ‘Or have you forgotten how we made her suffer while she traveled with us for weeks? Varrik won’t do much to her besides some token discipline. Probably not even as much as Healer Reyn would have done to her if he’d got the chance. You know the Harbinger was always Varrik’s favorite.’

I turn away, looking back at the keep through the window. I hear Grey leave the room, trudging back downstairs.

He’s wrong, but he won’t listen to me until he begins to see as I did. The seeds have been sown, though. Hopefully, he and the beast will think about this conversation. It’s encouraging that he wants Grith dead, at least. I don’t think it’ll take long if the beast sees her as its mate, and once I have an ally in Grey again, it’ll be easier to get Lia out of the fold and away from Varrik. My skin crawls. I know something isn’t right. I want to see how my female fares with my own eyes. I want to hold her and tell her that I’m sorry for all of it. I should have protected her better.

I wince as I remember again how she looked when she saw Varrik as she came out of that cave. Her expression of abject betrayal is branded into my mind’s eye, and it makes me want to storm the keep, fight the elites, kill Grith, and steal her out from Varrik’s nose right now. That would be a mistake, though, an act doomed to fail. I’d never even get to her room, let alone make it out with her.

The bare bones of a plan begins to form in my head, a vague idea of stealing her back and escaping, of taking her to the far reaches of the Dark Realms and keeping her safe this time, of having her with me and destroying any who would try to take her away. Perhaps with Grey, if he can pull his head out of his arse.

I look back at the keep again, my eyes scanning the windows I can see. I don’t even know where her room is. I need to find out more.

I lay back on the bed. Tomorrow, I’ll show them some of what I can do. Enough that Varrik hears of my new and improved skill. And, once I’m granted access to the keep, I’ll be able to find out where she is. I might even get a chance to become one of the elites, and then I’ll be free to roam around as much as I like. I’ll be able to find her and keep her safe while I work on getting us out of the fold and away from Varrik’s reach.

‘I’m coming for you,’ I whisper, staring out at the keep and hoping I’m wrong about how my female is being treated now that she’s home.